The Unacceptable, Portable, Aeiou, MLG, Court of Rights, and Motivational Adventures of Rick and Morty [Pony Swim]by Ink_QuillChaptersRick-diculousRick-ity SplitMarety Did it.Right in the Rick of TimeWe're Morty-FiedOoo Sweet OooEpilogue (really short)Rick-diculousRick burst into Morty's room. "Uhuuh what's going on, Rick?" Morty stood up in bed, awakened by the alcoholic, badass, totally awesome scientist Rick, also known as Morty and Summer's grandpa. "M-M *belch* Morty, we need to get out of here!" "Oh man, what's going on Rick?" Morty now stood, wide awake. "*Burp*No time to ex-*belch*-plain Morty! Let's go!" Rick grabbed hold of Morty and ran through the small corridor, leaving one of Morty's socks behind. The house was rotting, the wallpaper peeling off, holes in the wall, acid pools everywhere, and 40- feet chasms. An odd creature jumped in through the roof, standing in Rick's way. Rick slid under him, holding Morty, proceeding to stand up and take out his portal gun. He aimed at the wall in front of him, jumping through the green portal, with Morty following less than a step behind. Rick lay on the ground, staring at the sky. He took out his flask of alcohol, taking a big gulp. "Well, now I know to never piss off a Tyragontasupordwardf." He fell asleep once more. "Darling, he has been laying down on the couch for hours! He simply must go!" "Odd, he should be awake by now. Maybe we should tell Celestia." "Well, we could just let him stay for a bit longer, but I suppose-" "He could be a spy!" Everypony glared at Rainbow Dash, flying on the spot. "Whaaaat?" Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Um.. I was thinking he co-" Fluttershy was trying to suggest the creature to stay with her for a while, but everypony was talking over her, discussing what they should do. Rick started to stir. "Uuughhhhh..." He examined his surroundings without moving a muscle. He then slowly reached for his freeze ray an- "Haha! Told ya!" Rainbow Dash grabbed Rick's hand and snatched the freeze ray out of his hand. "Hey! Gimme back my freeze ray you stupid shit!" Everypony winced at the foal language. Rick looked in front of him, where the six ponies were staring at him. Morty was nowhere to be seen. "What have you done with *belch* M-?" Rick's alcohol was dripping from his chin. ""-Morty? Oh, he's on the couch!" Pinkie Pie giggled. Rick glared at Pinkie Pie. He then burst into a sprint, only to get tackled by Rainbow Dash, in which Rick responded to with a round house kick and a front roll towards Morty. Rick shook Morty violently. "M-M-Morty! We have to go Morty! C'mon Morty!"/color] Morty opened his eyes. "UuUUuUUUGh! Riiicckk! Stop, Rick!" Rick stopped shaking Morty, as Morty looked around the room. "Oh my god! Where the hell are we Rick!? Oh man, I'm freaking out!" Morty stopped, his eyes gazing at Rarity. "Waaaaiiiitt!" Twilight called. Rick, in response, was about to grab Morty and leave, when he remembered that Rainbow Dash had his freeze ray. Rick sprinted to Rainbow Dash, who was flying on the spot. Rick took out his flask and threw it at her, jumped on the flask in mid-air, and grabbed both the freeze ray and the flask, and tucked them in his lab coat. Rick wall jumped back and tackled Rainbow Dash down, then grabbing Morty, who was flirting with Rarity, and smashed through the door. "Aw c'mon Rick!" Morty whined. "Morty, we just got here and you already start hitting on the inhabitants." "R-rick! I'm only fourteen, c'mon man!" Rick stopped somewhere outside, with the citizens of Ponyville staring at him, some running away. Rick tried to use his portal gun on one of the house walls, which didn't work. "Goddamnit Morty, the portal gun broke!" Rick reached for his flask. He drank a sip... not just a sip, but the last drop. Rick looked into his flask. "W-w-well that's just fucking Rick-diculous." Morty glared at Rick. "Can you stop saying that!?" "What? is saying it, Rick-diculous?" "Rick!" "C-c-c'mon, Morty! I just saved you from those things! They could be *belch* e-evil! T-they could be parasites! They might have *belch* g-guns!"/color] "Riiick," Morty moaned, "I was talking to one. They're harmless! They're just ponies!" "Found 'em!" Morty was pulling Rick back. "Just let it be! C'mon man! T-they're really nice!" "F-f-fine Morty! But when something had happens, don't *belch* come crying t-to me, Morty!" Rick let go of Morty and walked away, escaping the ponies. "Yeah, fine! W-whatever! Y-y-you know what, Rick!? I don't even need you! You just keep ruining my d-dates!" "Hey there, Sugarcube, where'd he go?" Applejack was now standing near Morty, tilting her head in question. "H-he um.." Morty paused, thinking that if he said Rick went back, he might get a chance with one of the ponies. "He used his portal gun to go back home." "You're Morty, right?" Twilight asked. "Y-yeah!" Morty smirked. "W-well that's just fucking *belch* fantastic!" The portal gun was busted, beyond repair. Rick was hiding behind a few crates, somewhere in Ponyville. "The damn gun is busted, and Morty doesn't want to leave, anyhow!" Rick then checked his freeze ray, still working. "*belch*W-w-well, at least you work." Rick stood up, and walked away, before the grenade he threw exploded. -------------- 3 days later ------------ Morty woke up, Rarity still asleep, beside him. He smiled. His marefriend was beautiful. He looked at the clock , which told the time of 9:29 A.M. Morty quickly got out of bed, after kissing Rarity on the forehead. He heard a knocking at the window. Morty walked to the window, and opened it, to see an angry Spike. "So you're the wise pony sleeping with her, Morty." "Leave me alone, Spike." Morty slammed the window, causing Spike to fall off his ladder. "Mortimer, what was that?" "Oh, uuuhmm.. nothing.." Morty smiled sheepishly. Rick-ity Split"Damn it, Morty, pass me a-" Rick paused, looking around. "Nevermind.." Rick was alone, in the Everfree forest. He was trying to fix the portal gun. "Ah, you know what, screw it." Rick took out a cube and pressed the button. A blue thing that looks like an odd bald, sky blue human, with odd teeth and a voice that sounds like he never hit puberty. "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "G-go find me some drinks, or I'll kill you." "Caaaaaan do!" Mr. Meeseeks ran off. Rick pressed the button again, but not just once... let's say, he spammed the button. "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "Mr. Meeseeks', build me a mini safehouse." "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN, DOOOOOOOOO!" In no time, they built a shelter made of wood, and they all spontaneously combusted into light blue particles. They were meant to do that after their task is accomplished. Mr. Meeseeks then came back with a stupid tasting drink, which to Rick's guess he could not find alcohol, so he faked a thanks and the last Mr. Meeseeks vanished. --------2 days later------ Rick was traveling once more, when he remembered something. He took out his portable compact hover jet, and he piloted it to Ponyville. Rick was above Ponyville, when his fuel ran out. He was hurtling towards a school. He used the eject option and was then flying through the air, with an unopened parachute attached to him. He was about to make contact with the ground, when he used the jet pack. Rick pressed one of his many hidden buttons and made the jet dissappear into thin air before impact, as well as the parachute. He saw two ponies bullying three other ponies. "You already have your cutie marks." Said the royal looking one. "Wait, what?" Said the confused country one. "Yep." "No we don't." The orange one checked her booty. "Yes you do. Your cutie marks look invisible, but they're actually blank cutie marks." She and the grey, old looking one snickered, before the grey one said , "I don't get it." Rick felt like he should go teach those jackasses a lesson. The candy one looked up at the freaky man. ""Who are you?" Said the filly in a sweet voice, unlike the other two (assholes). "More like, what are you?" The two idiots snickered at their horrible "joke". "T-that joke gave me *belch* cancer." Said Rick, before pulling out his freeze ray and freezing the two bullies. Of course, the other three were frightened, and ran off. "Sheesh, no thanks?" Rick tucked his freeze ray back into his lab coat pocket and walked away, taking out his flask , and remembered it was empty. He sweared so loud the fillies, who were now in school session, recess just finished, could hear him. A vivid rose coloured, more older pony peeked through the window, before bringing down the curtain. "Okay class, today, we're going to have to reschedule our subject to tomorrow, and learn about a new subject, called, Dangerous Creatures and How to Identify Them. That out there, I never heard of, but let's call it Spikius Maed Alco, since it has a spiked mane and is clearly mad.. and seems to really love whatever is in that flask (as if I didn't know).." Cheerilee paused, looking around the room, counting the desks. "Wait, where is Scootaloo, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon? Did they not come in?" Cheerilee slowly opened the door and peeked. The creature was gone, and there, stood two frozen fillies, also called, according to Rick, the "Fuckface Friends", "Fuck Friends", "Lesbian Llamas", and "Granny and Spice". "Girls!!" Cheerilee gasped, before running to the two. Morty was inside a jacuzzi, or what seemed to be one, with Rarity. "So, Rarity, um.. d-do you actually like me?" Rarity was looking away. She turned her hear to Morty, and let out a "Hmm?" "N-n-nothing." Morty stepped out of the jacuzzi and grabbed a towel. He dried off, put some clothes on, and was about to go the kitchen for some food, when he heard a knocking on the door. Morty opened the door. "Morty y-y-you stupid bitch, we're stuck in this dimension and you try to f-f-*belch*fuck the people!?" "R-rick! Can't you see I'm actually having fun for once!?" Suddenly, a loud screech from outside was hear, and all the residents of Ponyville were fleeing. Rick turned around. "W-what the *belch* hell?" Rick looked around. He saw a weird structure caught ablaze. Rarity came running down the stairs. "Oh my, what has happened!?" When Rarity saw the fire, she knew what it was. She galloped to Twilight's Castle, to see if anypony was still there. "W-wait! Honeyyyyy!" Rick glared at Morty. "You're r-really damn *belch* sad, Morty." Marety Did it.The five ponies were outside of the castle, which was set ablaze. The sky blue pegasi was trying to put the flames out by doing spins in the air, making the fire go inside her whirlwind she made. The pink, goofy one was lighting candles, using the fire from the castle as a lighter. The yellow, shy, and very cute pegasi was panicking, frozen in place. The purple alicorn was using spells to stop the fire, which worked, but the fire kept appearing over and over again. The orange cow... mare? one was stomping out the fire. A beautiful (*belch* not!) white one arrived at the scene. "Twilight, what happened!?" "That's what I'm trying to figure out! Every darn time we put out the fire, it just starts up again, even more!" "Do ya' think this had somethin' to do with those two things!?" "You mean the creeps? Yeah, probably!" ------Earlier, today.------- The little yellow filly came back to the school grounds to see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon gone, as well as the peculiar creature. The filly saw a cube on the ground, which caught her interest. She picked it up, in her mouth, accidently triggering something. Another odd creature appeared, but slightly cuter. "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" Said the sky blue thing. It had pure black eyes, and a mouth with curvy teeth. The filly jumped back. H-h.. What are you!?" The filly stuttered. "Applebloom, stand back!" Another filly appeared, but not just any filly. This filly was orange, with a purple mane, also a pegasus. She did a stunt jump in the air, aiming for Mr. Meeseeks with her scooter. Mr. Meeseeks easily stepped to the side, causing the filly to crash into the ground. Yet another filly, this time a cute, white, unicorn with a curled purple and pink mane, emerged. She was running to the orange filly's side. "Scootaloo! Are you okay!?" Scootaloo moaned. "Y-yeah. Yes I am," Scotaloo now stood tall, acting brave. "O-ow..." One of Sootaloo's wing's was broken. "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me! You need to give me a command so I can accomplish my quest and dissappear!" "Uhm.. fix Scoot's wing." Dick move, Rick would've commented. "Caaaaaan, Do!" Mr Meeseeks made a first aid kit appear and bandaged Scootaloo's injury. "W-wow! Thank you, Mr.-" Sweetie Belle's sentence was cut off by the combustion of Mr. Meeseeks. The three fillies jumped back. "Wait.. I have an idea! That Mister Meeseek migh' be able to give us our cutie marks!" Rick and Morty were tagging along with Rarity. "Oooh, I have a b-bad feeling about this, Rick." They arrived at the castle, and got spotted by Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash flew down, face to face with Rick. "What did you, jerk!?" "I d-d-didn't do shiiiiiiiiiiit, lady. (I wrote shiiiit because Rick belched longly as he said it.) Rick said, pushing her aside. Rick stepped forward, examining the fire. He saw odd coloured liquid on the ground. He quickly checked his pockets. "Shit!" Rick suddenly thought of something. Rick ran into the fire. "R-r-rick!!!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me! Stop fighting, you guys! The ones who summoned us are responsible!" "You summoned me!" "Well, only because he summoned me!" 1 minute later, Rick arrived. When he saw the Meeseeks', he knew he fucked up. Rick ran out. "R-rick! What happened!?" "Yeah, what happened, "Rick"?" Rainbow Dash mimicked. "The Meeseeks' did this!" "The w-w-what? Wait, Meeseeks!? But I thought you disposed of the box!" Rick shrugged. "So how are we going to fix this... oh man..." Meeseek after Meeseek, the Meeseeks' emerged from the castle, as the final Meeseek threw an explosive to finish it off. Rick checked his pocket once more. "FUCK!" The castle blew up. Twilight's eyes were wide, both in fear, and in sadness. Princes Celestia and Princess Luna arrived in the flying carriage. This was the second time Twilight had lost something very special to her.. or third. Twilight's eyes were now filled with tears. Princess Celestia saw the castle, now burned to the ground (don't ask me how). Twilight's friends were trying to comfort her, except for Rainbow Dash, who was blaming Rick and Morty and shouting at them. Rick took out his freeze ray, and froze Rainbow Dash. "Bitch." "Wait, you c-c-could've just used that to stop the fire!" "So what, Mooooooorty? I-I- I was testing you to see if you remembered about t-the ray! So this is your fault!" Rick lied. The Meeseeks' now formed a circle. One of them pushed three fillies inside the circle. " I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me! We can't get your herpes heart, but we kill you and end this, once and for all!" The Meeseeks' went wild, pumping their hands. The execution Meeseeks' walked in front of the three fillies. He grabbed Sweetie Belle first, putting a knife to her throat. Rarity panicked, seeing Sweetie Belle. Rarity was more scared than angry. Morty's eyes were wide in fear, and Rick just rolled his eyes. "SIS! HELP ME!" Sweetie Belle began crying, as well as the other Crusaders. "This is all my fault! Leave her be! I did it! I summoned you Mister Meeseeks!" The executioner Meeseeks put Sweetie Belle down, pushed her back near Scootaloo and Applebloom, proceeding to pull Applebloom up by her mane, slitting her throat. Everything went quiet. ... ... ... .. Right in the Rick of Time"Applebloom!" Applejack, for the first time, cried. Do you have any idea how sad that is? Applebloom's eyes rolled up, into her head. Mr. Executioner let her body drop to the ground. Applebloom lay in a pool of blood. The bloodthirsty Meseeks' cheered, and waited. ... .. ..... Nothing. The furious executioner grabbed Sweetie Belle, slitting her throat without hesitation, letting her dead body drop to the ground. He then reached for Scootaloo, but before doing so, was pushed over by somepony. Morty began punching the living shit out of the executioner. Applejack and Rarity ran to their sisters. Rick broke the Meeseeks' backs, one by one, disabling them. But that wasn't enough. One of the disabled Meeseeks' grabbed the knife from the ground, and grabbed Scootaloo. Rainbow Dash pulled on a crying Scootaloo. Mr. Meeseek pushed the knife into Scootaloo's throat, letting go of her. Rainbow Dash tumbled back, eyes widened. Are you wondering why the Princessess weren't doing shit? That's because they were taken hostage by Meeseeks', also covering their horns, preventing them from using magic. The Meeseeks' all dissappeared. Twilight was having a panic attack. Applejack had her head over Applebloom's stomach. Rainbow Dash was mourning over Scootaloo. Rarity cried puddles of tears, ruining her make up. Fluttershy was covering her eyes, shaking, on the ground, whimpering. Pinkie Pie had her jaw dropped down. Morty was crying beside Rarity, trying to comfort her. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, now free, tried to handle the group. Rick felt ashamed, no joke. The ponies all turned towards Rick, cornering him. Suddenly, the screams of ponies filled the air. The ponies turned around to see over half of Ponyville set on fire. Before anything could happen, Morty jumped in front of the ponies, stopping them from touching Rick. "WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!" "Morty, what ar-" Rick whispered, cut off by Morty. "Shut the fuck up, y-you stupid bitch! Look what you've done Rick! Take a look around a-a-at the beautiful sight of millions of lives scarred. L-look at the dead fillies there!" Rick stood up. "My fault!? *beeeellch* I saved your f-fucking life back at home! I could've just left without you, you *belch* worthless piece of shit!" Twilight stepped up. "I-is there any way to fix this?" Twilight asked Rick, tears in her eyes. "Y-yeah, there is. I just need materials to fix my portal gun." "Okay, w-what do you *sniff* need? "Well...." "F-f- fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinished!" Rick tested out the portal gun once more. It worked. Rick's back faced the green portal. "C-c-c'mon, Morty! Let's go!" "W-wait! How is this supposed to fix everything!?" "I-It doesn't... he lied. He just wanted to fix his portal gun to get me and him home, not save you guys." The ponies glared at Rick. "For fucks sake, Moooooorty!" Rick grabbed Morty and leaped for the portal. Morty grabbed the wall, not letting himself go through the portal. "G-g-get in guys!" Morty gritted his teeth in pain. The six ponies jumped in, but before the last one, Rarity, did, she kissed Morty on the forehead. "I-I hope this fixes everything.. and if it does, thank you Morty. You're my hero." Rarity jumped in, and Morty let go. We're Morty-Fied Candy, fucking, people. Gumdrops and jellybeans, and even a damn cinnamon bun. Rick stood up, as so did the others. "D-dammit, Rick! I thought you f-f-f-fixed that thing!" "I thought so, too, Morty." "Leave us behind, huh?" A pissed off Rainbow Dash shoved Rick. "Look, I don't give a shit about you guys. You're talking, fucking, horses. And now come the talking candies." "Wait... We forgot Spike and Owlicious!" "Angel!" "We'll get your precious Spook, Owlicorice, and Angle back later." One of the candies approached Rick. "W-who are you?" "I'm a guy whose looking for materials to fix my portal gun. *belch* Y-y-you know where?" "Um...." The candy creature backed away from Rick, confused, so he could talk to the whole group. "I'm Starchy! What do you seek, travelers?" "Um.. nice to meet you, Starchy. Would you mind telling us where we are and who you guys are?" "Well.. we're candy people. You're in the land of Oo." "The land of Oo? Oo, as in Oo this place sucks." Rick laughed at his bad joke. "Um, do you know where we can get materials for anything?" "It depends. Come this way, we shall go to my friend's store." "Hi there Starchy! What can I get you?" Asked the cashier. "I don't need anything. I led these guys here." Starchy moved, revealing Rick. *Give me *Beeeeeelllcch* some light metal, um.. s-some.." Rick gave his orders.. "Uhm.. sorry sir, but we don't have any of that." "For fucks sake!" Rick froze Starchy and his friend, and walked away, no-one saying a word. The mane... 8 ...were on the road, seeking a place with the materials Rick required. "Oh look! A castle!" "Pinkie, how would exactly would there be a candy.." Applejack stopped and looked up. "Castle." Pinkie giggled, hopping up and down, joyfully. "Yeah, yeah, and I suppose t-t-there's going to fucking materials for my portal gun?" "W-w-well, Rick.. we did meet a pony princess in a castle with materials for-" "Geez, Morty. D-do you have to be so annoying!? K-k-keep this up, and I won't *belch* return these jackasses. "You're fixing everythin' or else you don' go." "Fine, whatever you say, cupcake." Morty went to the castle doors, where two guards stood, trying to get the crew to talk to the Princess. -------- 1 hour later ------- "Alright, guys, I got some of the materials but.. I have about a quarter of the materials you require.." "Seriously!? Fine, w-w-*beeeelch*whatever, just gimme it." P.B. nodded. "R-Rick, where are we going to find the rest of the stuff??" "Well.. there is a place with more materials you need... but it's really far away..and really dangerous. I suggest you take Finn and Jake with you for protection." "Yeah yeah c'mon, j-j-just give me Fish and Rape.... rake." P.B glared at Rick. [Finn]"Remember, if there's something hazardous, stay behind us." "Stay behind you!? Look, kid, the only reason you're t-tagging along is because I didn't *beeeelllcch* want to upset Mrs. Puberty back there. Besides, I got a fucking freeze ray." Soon, they came to a weird settlement.. kingdom. [Finn]"Jake! We're at Lemon Grabs kingdom!" "Please don't tell me a fucking l-l*belch*lemon runs this place. That's.. sweet." Rick laughed at his joke. "R-R-Rick, can't you ever stop with the puns?" "What? They're Finn-tastic!" "N-not funny, Rick." "What? I'm just Jak-ing with you!" "S-s-stop or I'll smash your new portal gun, Rick." [Jake]"Maybe Lemon Grab has some stuff." The crew approached the lemon head soldier guy. "Finn, Jake, what can I do for you?" [Finn]"Um.. we're looking for-" "*Beeeeeeeeeelch* gimme some materials for my portal gun or I'll freeze you and fuck up your lemon kingdom." "Y-you're going to... freeze me? And take over my kingdom!?" "Because somepony just can't be nice for once in their lives..." muttered Twilight. "Yeah, you heard me. I'll fuck you up badly, trust me bro. Now give me everything you can from this list!" Lemon Grab peeked at Rick's list (which neither I knew existed). "T-that's practically every thing I have!" "Gimme. N-n-*belch*now." Rick tightened his grip on the trigger, and pushed the freeze ray deeper into Lemon Grabs forehead. "T-this is...... UNNNNAAACCEEEPTTAAABBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL" [Jake]"Chill out man! He's just joking! Right?" Jake narrowed his eyes on Rick, which Rick responded to by taking out another freeze ray and pointing at both Jake and Lemon Grab. [Finn]"Bro, don't pull that trigger or you'll be sorry. Drop the weapons." Finn drew his sword. Rick froze Finn and Jake and tackled Lemon Grab down, then pulling out a grenade and holding it in Lemon Grabs mouth as a warning. "O-okay!! I'll give you anything you want!" Lemon Grab pleaded. Fluttershy was shivering, scared. "H-h-here you go! Now please leave!"" "Y-yeah, *belch* okay." Rick nodded. They exited the castle, and Rick used his mini rocket launcher and bombed the village, shouting "Allahu Akbar!" "I-I don't know, Rick, you're being an asshole!!" "I'll tie them up and unfreeze em." "Just unfreeze em, jerk!" "F-*belch*-fine." Rick unfreeze Finn and Jake, and then froze Rainbow Dash. "Hey, it's two for one. Who can't resist?" Rick joked, but receiving glares from everypony, unfroze Rainbow. Finn and Jake were furious, and Jake tied up Rick with his body. Rick took out his Lab Brand* gun, and shot Jake in the arm, freeing himself. "Fuck off, boys." Author's Note Today's Lesson; Merging beats failing moderation ! Ooo Sweet OooShadows seemed to be creeping behind the crew. Not just normal shadows... creepy shadows. One of the shadow figures jumped from above and stabbed Morty in the back of the neck. "M-morty!!" Rick looked at the figure. "W-well that's just fucking *belch* fantastic." The figures were Tyranagontasupors. Rick took out his shotgun, which, before being fired, was bent in half by a Tyranagontasupor. Rick threw his shotgun at the monster, and rolled to the side. Suddenly, Lemon Grab was seen running towards the crew, up the mountain they were all on, which I forgot to mention. "UUUNNNAAAAACCCEPPPPTTTAABBBLLLEEE!!!" Rick had an idea. If the Supors could get here, they would have to use a portal. Rick saw a portal gun behind one of the Supors. Rick did a front roll and grabbed the portal from the holster, and firing it at the mountain, before a panting Lemon Grab could come any closer. Rick jumped through the portal. The mane 6, now in an even bigger state of terror, jumped through as well. Everything went black. Applejack was the first to wake up. She looked around the room. It was really dark, but looked like a normal room in Ponyville. She then looked at her friends, and that dreaded beast, Rick. Before turning her head to wake up the girls, she saw another creature in the room, one she has never seen. She had a black mane, and she was wearing a white shirt, with orange cargo pants. Her coat was peach. A.J. heard a moan, and turned around. In the corner, Lemon Grab could be clearly seen. 'Was he the one moaning?' A.J wondered. She went to take a closer look at him. The poor thing had tears in his eyes, and cuts everywhere. She went back to her friends and tried waking them up, Fluttershy first. "I've never seen something like it." Fluttershy admitted, examining the creature that lay on the bed, asleep, when a booming loud voice could be heard. "Good morning. You have been in suspension for; nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine-" "W-what!?" Twilight lifted up her right hoof, even more worried. The creature on the bed now stood up. She saw the weird variety of creatures, and opened her mouth, but nothing seemed to come out. "Hello? Anyone in there?" A knocking could be heard, coming from the door. "Helllooo? Are you going to open the door? At any time?" The creature walked towards the door slowly, and turned the knob. "HA- AH! Oh, my, god. You look terr- um.... good. Looking good, actually. "Are you okay? Are you- don't answer that, actually." The sphere began to come in, hanging from the ceiling. "I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it in slowly." The sphere turned to see the others in the room. "W-wot? Is that a lemon costume and ponies!? A-and a... guy!?" Chell stepped back. "Prepare for Emergency Evacuation." Said the voice from the speaker. "S-stay calm! 'Prepare' - it's all they're saying. 'Prepare'. It's all fine. Don't move, I'm going to get us.. and them.. out of here. The sphere went up into the ceiling, using its rails or whatever those were. " Oh, you guys MIGHT want to hang on to something. Word of advice, up to you." "You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello!?" The sphere asked, as the room began... moving!? The sphere came back down. "Most test subjects do experience some cognitive disorientation after a few months in suspension. Now, you guys have been under for... quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you guys might have a minor case of serious brain damage." "We're not brain damaged, jerk!" "Oh... well, I guess some of you can talk and.. stuff. Wait, talking ponies? How did all of you even get in here?" "We.. used a portal." "Say wooot? T-that's impossible. Maybe I was wrong about you guys not being brain damaged. Alright, hold tight." The sphere went back up into the ceiling. "All reactor core safe-guards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown." The room started tilting, and one of the walls broke down, revealing the interior of the facility. "Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here." The roof fell down, and almost crushed Rick, who was grabbed quickly by Twilight. "How are you doing down there? You still okay?" Rick began to stir. Epilogue (really short)The portal closed, and the five ponies and two humans fell to the ground, either on all fours or on twos. Rick turned around at the sound of the multiple *thuds*. "Goddamnit, M-morty!" Rick look around, to see new inhabitants. The place looked like a 8 year old fat kid's dream. There were literal, fucking, candies walking around. Literal, fucking, candy houses. Rick grabbed his portal gun and shot it at the nearest wall of a house. Guess what? The portal gun exploded. "W-well that's just fucking Rick-dicolous." Oh yeah, and Pinkie Pie floated down using an umbrella she took out from her hair. THE END. ... or is it? Author's Note Thank you guys so much for reading, I love you all ! Well, that concludes this story! See ya'll later <3! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Rick-diculousRick burst into Morty's room. "Uhuuh what's going on, Rick?" Morty stood up in bed, awakened by the alcoholic, badass, totally awesome scientist Rick, also known as Morty and Summer's grandpa. "M-M *belch* Morty, we need to get out of here!" "Oh man, what's going on Rick?" Morty now stood, wide awake. "*Burp*No time to ex-*belch*-plain Morty! Let's go!" Rick grabbed hold of Morty and ran through the small corridor, leaving one of Morty's socks behind. The house was rotting, the wallpaper peeling off, holes in the wall, acid pools everywhere, and 40- feet chasms. An odd creature jumped in through the roof, standing in Rick's way. Rick slid under him, holding Morty, proceeding to stand up and take out his portal gun. He aimed at the wall in front of him, jumping through the green portal, with Morty following less than a step behind. Rick lay on the ground, staring at the sky. He took out his flask of alcohol, taking a big gulp. "Well, now I know to never piss off a Tyragontasupordwardf." He fell asleep once more. "Darling, he has been laying down on the couch for hours! He simply must go!" "Odd, he should be awake by now. Maybe we should tell Celestia." "Well, we could just let him stay for a bit longer, but I suppose-" "He could be a spy!" Everypony glared at Rainbow Dash, flying on the spot. "Whaaaat?" Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Um.. I was thinking he co-" Fluttershy was trying to suggest the creature to stay with her for a while, but everypony was talking over her, discussing what they should do. Rick started to stir. "Uuughhhhh..." He examined his surroundings without moving a muscle. He then slowly reached for his freeze ray an- "Haha! Told ya!" Rainbow Dash grabbed Rick's hand and snatched the freeze ray out of his hand. "Hey! Gimme back my freeze ray you stupid shit!" Everypony winced at the foal language. Rick looked in front of him, where the six ponies were staring at him. Morty was nowhere to be seen. "What have you done with *belch* M-?" Rick's alcohol was dripping from his chin. ""-Morty? Oh, he's on the couch!" Pinkie Pie giggled. Rick glared at Pinkie Pie. He then burst into a sprint, only to get tackled by Rainbow Dash, in which Rick responded to with a round house kick and a front roll towards Morty. Rick shook Morty violently. "M-M-Morty! We have to go Morty! C'mon Morty!"/color] Morty opened his eyes. "UuUUuUUUGh! Riiicckk! Stop, Rick!" Rick stopped shaking Morty, as Morty looked around the room. "Oh my god! Where the hell are we Rick!? Oh man, I'm freaking out!" Morty stopped, his eyes gazing at Rarity. "Waaaaiiiitt!" Twilight called. Rick, in response, was about to grab Morty and leave, when he remembered that Rainbow Dash had his freeze ray. Rick sprinted to Rainbow Dash, who was flying on the spot. Rick took out his flask and threw it at her, jumped on the flask in mid-air, and grabbed both the freeze ray and the flask, and tucked them in his lab coat. Rick wall jumped back and tackled Rainbow Dash down, then grabbing Morty, who was flirting with Rarity, and smashed through the door. "Aw c'mon Rick!" Morty whined. "Morty, we just got here and you already start hitting on the inhabitants." "R-rick! I'm only fourteen, c'mon man!" Rick stopped somewhere outside, with the citizens of Ponyville staring at him, some running away. Rick tried to use his portal gun on one of the house walls, which didn't work. "Goddamnit Morty, the portal gun broke!" Rick reached for his flask. He drank a sip... not just a sip, but the last drop. Rick looked into his flask. "W-w-well that's just fucking Rick-diculous." Morty glared at Rick. "Can you stop saying that!?" "What? is saying it, Rick-diculous?" "Rick!" "C-c-c'mon, Morty! I just saved you from those things! They could be *belch* e-evil! T-they could be parasites! They might have *belch* g-guns!"/color] "Riiick," Morty moaned, "I was talking to one. They're harmless! They're just ponies!" "Found 'em!" Morty was pulling Rick back. "Just let it be! C'mon man! T-they're really nice!" "F-f-fine Morty! But when something had happens, don't *belch* come crying t-to me, Morty!" Rick let go of Morty and walked away, escaping the ponies. "Yeah, fine! W-whatever! Y-y-you know what, Rick!? I don't even need you! You just keep ruining my d-dates!" "Hey there, Sugarcube, where'd he go?" Applejack was now standing near Morty, tilting her head in question. "H-he um.." Morty paused, thinking that if he said Rick went back, he might get a chance with one of the ponies. "He used his portal gun to go back home." "You're Morty, right?" Twilight asked. "Y-yeah!" Morty smirked. "W-well that's just fucking *belch* fantastic!" The portal gun was busted, beyond repair. Rick was hiding behind a few crates, somewhere in Ponyville. "The damn gun is busted, and Morty doesn't want to leave, anyhow!" Rick then checked his freeze ray, still working. "*belch*W-w-well, at least you work." Rick stood up, and walked away, before the grenade he threw exploded. -------------- 3 days later ------------ Morty woke up, Rarity still asleep, beside him. He smiled. His marefriend was beautiful. He looked at the clock , which told the time of 9:29 A.M. Morty quickly got out of bed, after kissing Rarity on the forehead. He heard a knocking at the window. Morty walked to the window, and opened it, to see an angry Spike. "So you're the wise pony sleeping with her, Morty." "Leave me alone, Spike." Morty slammed the window, causing Spike to fall off his ladder. "Mortimer, what was that?" "Oh, uuuhmm.. nothing.." Morty smiled sheepishly.
Rick-ity Split"Damn it, Morty, pass me a-" Rick paused, looking around. "Nevermind.." Rick was alone, in the Everfree forest. He was trying to fix the portal gun. "Ah, you know what, screw it." Rick took out a cube and pressed the button. A blue thing that looks like an odd bald, sky blue human, with odd teeth and a voice that sounds like he never hit puberty. "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "G-go find me some drinks, or I'll kill you." "Caaaaaan do!" Mr. Meeseeks ran off. Rick pressed the button again, but not just once... let's say, he spammed the button. "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "Mr. Meeseeks', build me a mini safehouse." "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN, DOOOOOOOOO!" In no time, they built a shelter made of wood, and they all spontaneously combusted into light blue particles. They were meant to do that after their task is accomplished. Mr. Meeseeks then came back with a stupid tasting drink, which to Rick's guess he could not find alcohol, so he faked a thanks and the last Mr. Meeseeks vanished. --------2 days later------ Rick was traveling once more, when he remembered something. He took out his portable compact hover jet, and he piloted it to Ponyville. Rick was above Ponyville, when his fuel ran out. He was hurtling towards a school. He used the eject option and was then flying through the air, with an unopened parachute attached to him. He was about to make contact with the ground, when he used the jet pack. Rick pressed one of his many hidden buttons and made the jet dissappear into thin air before impact, as well as the parachute. He saw two ponies bullying three other ponies. "You already have your cutie marks." Said the royal looking one. "Wait, what?" Said the confused country one. "Yep." "No we don't." The orange one checked her booty. "Yes you do. Your cutie marks look invisible, but they're actually blank cutie marks." She and the grey, old looking one snickered, before the grey one said , "I don't get it." Rick felt like he should go teach those jackasses a lesson. The candy one looked up at the freaky man. ""Who are you?" Said the filly in a sweet voice, unlike the other two (assholes). "More like, what are you?" The two idiots snickered at their horrible "joke". "T-that joke gave me *belch* cancer." Said Rick, before pulling out his freeze ray and freezing the two bullies. Of course, the other three were frightened, and ran off. "Sheesh, no thanks?" Rick tucked his freeze ray back into his lab coat pocket and walked away, taking out his flask , and remembered it was empty. He sweared so loud the fillies, who were now in school session, recess just finished, could hear him. A vivid rose coloured, more older pony peeked through the window, before bringing down the curtain. "Okay class, today, we're going to have to reschedule our subject to tomorrow, and learn about a new subject, called, Dangerous Creatures and How to Identify Them. That out there, I never heard of, but let's call it Spikius Maed Alco, since it has a spiked mane and is clearly mad.. and seems to really love whatever is in that flask (as if I didn't know).." Cheerilee paused, looking around the room, counting the desks. "Wait, where is Scootaloo, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon? Did they not come in?" Cheerilee slowly opened the door and peeked. The creature was gone, and there, stood two frozen fillies, also called, according to Rick, the "Fuckface Friends", "Fuck Friends", "Lesbian Llamas", and "Granny and Spice". "Girls!!" Cheerilee gasped, before running to the two. Morty was inside a jacuzzi, or what seemed to be one, with Rarity. "So, Rarity, um.. d-do you actually like me?" Rarity was looking away. She turned her hear to Morty, and let out a "Hmm?" "N-n-nothing." Morty stepped out of the jacuzzi and grabbed a towel. He dried off, put some clothes on, and was about to go the kitchen for some food, when he heard a knocking on the door. Morty opened the door. "Morty y-y-you stupid bitch, we're stuck in this dimension and you try to f-f-*belch*fuck the people!?" "R-rick! Can't you see I'm actually having fun for once!?" Suddenly, a loud screech from outside was hear, and all the residents of Ponyville were fleeing. Rick turned around. "W-what the *belch* hell?" Rick looked around. He saw a weird structure caught ablaze. Rarity came running down the stairs. "Oh my, what has happened!?" When Rarity saw the fire, she knew what it was. She galloped to Twilight's Castle, to see if anypony was still there. "W-wait! Honeyyyyy!" Rick glared at Morty. "You're r-really damn *belch* sad, Morty."
Marety Did it.The five ponies were outside of the castle, which was set ablaze. The sky blue pegasi was trying to put the flames out by doing spins in the air, making the fire go inside her whirlwind she made. The pink, goofy one was lighting candles, using the fire from the castle as a lighter. The yellow, shy, and very cute pegasi was panicking, frozen in place. The purple alicorn was using spells to stop the fire, which worked, but the fire kept appearing over and over again. The orange cow... mare? one was stomping out the fire. A beautiful (*belch* not!) white one arrived at the scene. "Twilight, what happened!?" "That's what I'm trying to figure out! Every darn time we put out the fire, it just starts up again, even more!" "Do ya' think this had somethin' to do with those two things!?" "You mean the creeps? Yeah, probably!" ------Earlier, today.------- The little yellow filly came back to the school grounds to see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon gone, as well as the peculiar creature. The filly saw a cube on the ground, which caught her interest. She picked it up, in her mouth, accidently triggering something. Another odd creature appeared, but slightly cuter. "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" Said the sky blue thing. It had pure black eyes, and a mouth with curvy teeth. The filly jumped back. H-h.. What are you!?" The filly stuttered. "Applebloom, stand back!" Another filly appeared, but not just any filly. This filly was orange, with a purple mane, also a pegasus. She did a stunt jump in the air, aiming for Mr. Meeseeks with her scooter. Mr. Meeseeks easily stepped to the side, causing the filly to crash into the ground. Yet another filly, this time a cute, white, unicorn with a curled purple and pink mane, emerged. She was running to the orange filly's side. "Scootaloo! Are you okay!?" Scootaloo moaned. "Y-yeah. Yes I am," Scotaloo now stood tall, acting brave. "O-ow..." One of Sootaloo's wing's was broken. "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me! You need to give me a command so I can accomplish my quest and dissappear!" "Uhm.. fix Scoot's wing." Dick move, Rick would've commented. "Caaaaaan, Do!" Mr Meeseeks made a first aid kit appear and bandaged Scootaloo's injury. "W-wow! Thank you, Mr.-" Sweetie Belle's sentence was cut off by the combustion of Mr. Meeseeks. The three fillies jumped back. "Wait.. I have an idea! That Mister Meeseek migh' be able to give us our cutie marks!" Rick and Morty were tagging along with Rarity. "Oooh, I have a b-bad feeling about this, Rick." They arrived at the castle, and got spotted by Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash flew down, face to face with Rick. "What did you, jerk!?" "I d-d-didn't do shiiiiiiiiiiit, lady. (I wrote shiiiit because Rick belched longly as he said it.) Rick said, pushing her aside. Rick stepped forward, examining the fire. He saw odd coloured liquid on the ground. He quickly checked his pockets. "Shit!" Rick suddenly thought of something. Rick ran into the fire. "R-r-rick!!!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me! Stop fighting, you guys! The ones who summoned us are responsible!" "You summoned me!" "Well, only because he summoned me!" 1 minute later, Rick arrived. When he saw the Meeseeks', he knew he fucked up. Rick ran out. "R-rick! What happened!?" "Yeah, what happened, "Rick"?" Rainbow Dash mimicked. "The Meeseeks' did this!" "The w-w-what? Wait, Meeseeks!? But I thought you disposed of the box!" Rick shrugged. "So how are we going to fix this... oh man..." Meeseek after Meeseek, the Meeseeks' emerged from the castle, as the final Meeseek threw an explosive to finish it off. Rick checked his pocket once more. "FUCK!" The castle blew up. Twilight's eyes were wide, both in fear, and in sadness. Princes Celestia and Princess Luna arrived in the flying carriage. This was the second time Twilight had lost something very special to her.. or third. Twilight's eyes were now filled with tears. Princess Celestia saw the castle, now burned to the ground (don't ask me how). Twilight's friends were trying to comfort her, except for Rainbow Dash, who was blaming Rick and Morty and shouting at them. Rick took out his freeze ray, and froze Rainbow Dash. "Bitch." "Wait, you c-c-could've just used that to stop the fire!" "So what, Mooooooorty? I-I- I was testing you to see if you remembered about t-the ray! So this is your fault!" Rick lied. The Meeseeks' now formed a circle. One of them pushed three fillies inside the circle. " I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me! We can't get your herpes heart, but we kill you and end this, once and for all!" The Meeseeks' went wild, pumping their hands. The execution Meeseeks' walked in front of the three fillies. He grabbed Sweetie Belle first, putting a knife to her throat. Rarity panicked, seeing Sweetie Belle. Rarity was more scared than angry. Morty's eyes were wide in fear, and Rick just rolled his eyes. "SIS! HELP ME!" Sweetie Belle began crying, as well as the other Crusaders. "This is all my fault! Leave her be! I did it! I summoned you Mister Meeseeks!" The executioner Meeseeks put Sweetie Belle down, pushed her back near Scootaloo and Applebloom, proceeding to pull Applebloom up by her mane, slitting her throat. Everything went quiet. ... ... ... ..
Right in the Rick of Time"Applebloom!" Applejack, for the first time, cried. Do you have any idea how sad that is? Applebloom's eyes rolled up, into her head. Mr. Executioner let her body drop to the ground. Applebloom lay in a pool of blood. The bloodthirsty Meseeks' cheered, and waited. ... .. ..... Nothing. The furious executioner grabbed Sweetie Belle, slitting her throat without hesitation, letting her dead body drop to the ground. He then reached for Scootaloo, but before doing so, was pushed over by somepony. Morty began punching the living shit out of the executioner. Applejack and Rarity ran to their sisters. Rick broke the Meeseeks' backs, one by one, disabling them. But that wasn't enough. One of the disabled Meeseeks' grabbed the knife from the ground, and grabbed Scootaloo. Rainbow Dash pulled on a crying Scootaloo. Mr. Meeseek pushed the knife into Scootaloo's throat, letting go of her. Rainbow Dash tumbled back, eyes widened. Are you wondering why the Princessess weren't doing shit? That's because they were taken hostage by Meeseeks', also covering their horns, preventing them from using magic. The Meeseeks' all dissappeared. Twilight was having a panic attack. Applejack had her head over Applebloom's stomach. Rainbow Dash was mourning over Scootaloo. Rarity cried puddles of tears, ruining her make up. Fluttershy was covering her eyes, shaking, on the ground, whimpering. Pinkie Pie had her jaw dropped down. Morty was crying beside Rarity, trying to comfort her. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, now free, tried to handle the group. Rick felt ashamed, no joke. The ponies all turned towards Rick, cornering him. Suddenly, the screams of ponies filled the air. The ponies turned around to see over half of Ponyville set on fire. Before anything could happen, Morty jumped in front of the ponies, stopping them from touching Rick. "WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!" "Morty, what ar-" Rick whispered, cut off by Morty. "Shut the fuck up, y-you stupid bitch! Look what you've done Rick! Take a look around a-a-at the beautiful sight of millions of lives scarred. L-look at the dead fillies there!" Rick stood up. "My fault!? *beeeellch* I saved your f-fucking life back at home! I could've just left without you, you *belch* worthless piece of shit!" Twilight stepped up. "I-is there any way to fix this?" Twilight asked Rick, tears in her eyes. "Y-yeah, there is. I just need materials to fix my portal gun." "Okay, w-what do you *sniff* need? "Well...." "F-f- fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinished!" Rick tested out the portal gun once more. It worked. Rick's back faced the green portal. "C-c-c'mon, Morty! Let's go!" "W-wait! How is this supposed to fix everything!?" "I-It doesn't... he lied. He just wanted to fix his portal gun to get me and him home, not save you guys." The ponies glared at Rick. "For fucks sake, Moooooorty!" Rick grabbed Morty and leaped for the portal. Morty grabbed the wall, not letting himself go through the portal. "G-g-get in guys!" Morty gritted his teeth in pain. The six ponies jumped in, but before the last one, Rarity, did, she kissed Morty on the forehead. "I-I hope this fixes everything.. and if it does, thank you Morty. You're my hero." Rarity jumped in, and Morty let go.
We're Morty-Fied Candy, fucking, people. Gumdrops and jellybeans, and even a damn cinnamon bun. Rick stood up, as so did the others. "D-dammit, Rick! I thought you f-f-f-fixed that thing!" "I thought so, too, Morty." "Leave us behind, huh?" A pissed off Rainbow Dash shoved Rick. "Look, I don't give a shit about you guys. You're talking, fucking, horses. And now come the talking candies." "Wait... We forgot Spike and Owlicious!" "Angel!" "We'll get your precious Spook, Owlicorice, and Angle back later." One of the candies approached Rick. "W-who are you?" "I'm a guy whose looking for materials to fix my portal gun. *belch* Y-y-you know where?" "Um...." The candy creature backed away from Rick, confused, so he could talk to the whole group. "I'm Starchy! What do you seek, travelers?" "Um.. nice to meet you, Starchy. Would you mind telling us where we are and who you guys are?" "Well.. we're candy people. You're in the land of Oo." "The land of Oo? Oo, as in Oo this place sucks." Rick laughed at his bad joke. "Um, do you know where we can get materials for anything?" "It depends. Come this way, we shall go to my friend's store." "Hi there Starchy! What can I get you?" Asked the cashier. "I don't need anything. I led these guys here." Starchy moved, revealing Rick. *Give me *Beeeeeelllcch* some light metal, um.. s-some.." Rick gave his orders.. "Uhm.. sorry sir, but we don't have any of that." "For fucks sake!" Rick froze Starchy and his friend, and walked away, no-one saying a word. The mane... 8 ...were on the road, seeking a place with the materials Rick required. "Oh look! A castle!" "Pinkie, how would exactly would there be a candy.." Applejack stopped and looked up. "Castle." Pinkie giggled, hopping up and down, joyfully. "Yeah, yeah, and I suppose t-t-there's going to fucking materials for my portal gun?" "W-w-well, Rick.. we did meet a pony princess in a castle with materials for-" "Geez, Morty. D-do you have to be so annoying!? K-k-keep this up, and I won't *belch* return these jackasses. "You're fixing everythin' or else you don' go." "Fine, whatever you say, cupcake." Morty went to the castle doors, where two guards stood, trying to get the crew to talk to the Princess. -------- 1 hour later ------- "Alright, guys, I got some of the materials but.. I have about a quarter of the materials you require.." "Seriously!? Fine, w-w-*beeeelch*whatever, just gimme it." P.B. nodded. "R-Rick, where are we going to find the rest of the stuff??" "Well.. there is a place with more materials you need... but it's really far away..and really dangerous. I suggest you take Finn and Jake with you for protection." "Yeah yeah c'mon, j-j-just give me Fish and Rape.... rake." P.B glared at Rick. [Finn]"Remember, if there's something hazardous, stay behind us." "Stay behind you!? Look, kid, the only reason you're t-tagging along is because I didn't *beeeelllcch* want to upset Mrs. Puberty back there. Besides, I got a fucking freeze ray." Soon, they came to a weird settlement.. kingdom. [Finn]"Jake! We're at Lemon Grabs kingdom!" "Please don't tell me a fucking l-l*belch*lemon runs this place. That's.. sweet." Rick laughed at his joke. "R-R-Rick, can't you ever stop with the puns?" "What? They're Finn-tastic!" "N-not funny, Rick." "What? I'm just Jak-ing with you!" "S-s-stop or I'll smash your new portal gun, Rick." [Jake]"Maybe Lemon Grab has some stuff." The crew approached the lemon head soldier guy. "Finn, Jake, what can I do for you?" [Finn]"Um.. we're looking for-" "*Beeeeeeeeeelch* gimme some materials for my portal gun or I'll freeze you and fuck up your lemon kingdom." "Y-you're going to... freeze me? And take over my kingdom!?" "Because somepony just can't be nice for once in their lives..." muttered Twilight. "Yeah, you heard me. I'll fuck you up badly, trust me bro. Now give me everything you can from this list!" Lemon Grab peeked at Rick's list (which neither I knew existed). "T-that's practically every thing I have!" "Gimme. N-n-*belch*now." Rick tightened his grip on the trigger, and pushed the freeze ray deeper into Lemon Grabs forehead. "T-this is...... UNNNNAAACCEEEPTTAAABBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL" [Jake]"Chill out man! He's just joking! Right?" Jake narrowed his eyes on Rick, which Rick responded to by taking out another freeze ray and pointing at both Jake and Lemon Grab. [Finn]"Bro, don't pull that trigger or you'll be sorry. Drop the weapons." Finn drew his sword. Rick froze Finn and Jake and tackled Lemon Grab down, then pulling out a grenade and holding it in Lemon Grabs mouth as a warning. "O-okay!! I'll give you anything you want!" Lemon Grab pleaded. Fluttershy was shivering, scared. "H-h-here you go! Now please leave!"" "Y-yeah, *belch* okay." Rick nodded. They exited the castle, and Rick used his mini rocket launcher and bombed the village, shouting "Allahu Akbar!" "I-I don't know, Rick, you're being an asshole!!" "I'll tie them up and unfreeze em." "Just unfreeze em, jerk!" "F-*belch*-fine." Rick unfreeze Finn and Jake, and then froze Rainbow Dash. "Hey, it's two for one. Who can't resist?" Rick joked, but receiving glares from everypony, unfroze Rainbow. Finn and Jake were furious, and Jake tied up Rick with his body. Rick took out his Lab Brand* gun, and shot Jake in the arm, freeing himself. "Fuck off, boys." Author's Note Today's Lesson; Merging beats failing moderation !
Ooo Sweet OooShadows seemed to be creeping behind the crew. Not just normal shadows... creepy shadows. One of the shadow figures jumped from above and stabbed Morty in the back of the neck. "M-morty!!" Rick looked at the figure. "W-well that's just fucking *belch* fantastic." The figures were Tyranagontasupors. Rick took out his shotgun, which, before being fired, was bent in half by a Tyranagontasupor. Rick threw his shotgun at the monster, and rolled to the side. Suddenly, Lemon Grab was seen running towards the crew, up the mountain they were all on, which I forgot to mention. "UUUNNNAAAAACCCEPPPPTTTAABBBLLLEEE!!!" Rick had an idea. If the Supors could get here, they would have to use a portal. Rick saw a portal gun behind one of the Supors. Rick did a front roll and grabbed the portal from the holster, and firing it at the mountain, before a panting Lemon Grab could come any closer. Rick jumped through the portal. The mane 6, now in an even bigger state of terror, jumped through as well. Everything went black. Applejack was the first to wake up. She looked around the room. It was really dark, but looked like a normal room in Ponyville. She then looked at her friends, and that dreaded beast, Rick. Before turning her head to wake up the girls, she saw another creature in the room, one she has never seen. She had a black mane, and she was wearing a white shirt, with orange cargo pants. Her coat was peach. A.J. heard a moan, and turned around. In the corner, Lemon Grab could be clearly seen. 'Was he the one moaning?' A.J wondered. She went to take a closer look at him. The poor thing had tears in his eyes, and cuts everywhere. She went back to her friends and tried waking them up, Fluttershy first. "I've never seen something like it." Fluttershy admitted, examining the creature that lay on the bed, asleep, when a booming loud voice could be heard. "Good morning. You have been in suspension for; nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine-" "W-what!?" Twilight lifted up her right hoof, even more worried. The creature on the bed now stood up. She saw the weird variety of creatures, and opened her mouth, but nothing seemed to come out. "Hello? Anyone in there?" A knocking could be heard, coming from the door. "Helllooo? Are you going to open the door? At any time?" The creature walked towards the door slowly, and turned the knob. "HA- AH! Oh, my, god. You look terr- um.... good. Looking good, actually. "Are you okay? Are you- don't answer that, actually." The sphere began to come in, hanging from the ceiling. "I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it in slowly." The sphere turned to see the others in the room. "W-wot? Is that a lemon costume and ponies!? A-and a... guy!?" Chell stepped back. "Prepare for Emergency Evacuation." Said the voice from the speaker. "S-stay calm! 'Prepare' - it's all they're saying. 'Prepare'. It's all fine. Don't move, I'm going to get us.. and them.. out of here. The sphere went up into the ceiling, using its rails or whatever those were. " Oh, you guys MIGHT want to hang on to something. Word of advice, up to you." "You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello!?" The sphere asked, as the room began... moving!? The sphere came back down. "Most test subjects do experience some cognitive disorientation after a few months in suspension. Now, you guys have been under for... quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you guys might have a minor case of serious brain damage." "We're not brain damaged, jerk!" "Oh... well, I guess some of you can talk and.. stuff. Wait, talking ponies? How did all of you even get in here?" "We.. used a portal." "Say wooot? T-that's impossible. Maybe I was wrong about you guys not being brain damaged. Alright, hold tight." The sphere went back up into the ceiling. "All reactor core safe-guards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown." The room started tilting, and one of the walls broke down, revealing the interior of the facility. "Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here." The roof fell down, and almost crushed Rick, who was grabbed quickly by Twilight. "How are you doing down there? You still okay?" Rick began to stir.
Epilogue (really short)The portal closed, and the five ponies and two humans fell to the ground, either on all fours or on twos. Rick turned around at the sound of the multiple *thuds*. "Goddamnit, M-morty!" Rick look around, to see new inhabitants. The place looked like a 8 year old fat kid's dream. There were literal, fucking, candies walking around. Literal, fucking, candy houses. Rick grabbed his portal gun and shot it at the nearest wall of a house. Guess what? The portal gun exploded. "W-well that's just fucking Rick-dicolous." Oh yeah, and Pinkie Pie floated down using an umbrella she took out from her hair. THE END. ... or is it? Author's Note Thank you guys so much for reading, I love you all ! Well, that concludes this story! See ya'll later <3! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
