The Questionnaire (Revisited)
Nervoucited.
If Dusk Midnight Melody had to choose an emotion to sum up the way he felt right now then that would be it. Yes, nervoucited just about covered it. Flying low at two thousand feet he admired the scenery passing below him as he flew from Canterlot to Ponyville.
Ponyville. Quiet, sleepy little Ponyville. Home to just twenty thousand ponies, a wholly unremarkable little town were it not for Princess Twilight, the Crystal Castle and the main residence of the former Elements of Harmony.
Right now to Dusk Ponyville was the scariest place in Equestria. His powerful dark blue wings carried the pegasus on towards his destination. The closer he got to the town the bigger the butterflies got in his stomach. Every beat of his wings brought him closer to Ponyville… ‘And closer to him…’ Dusk thought happily to himself as his mind started to wander in mid-flight.
Dusk found his mind wandering all the time recently. Mostly since the trip to the fun fair last week. Ever since he’d met Vocal Chord that evening the young Prince found he was thinking about nothing else other than the tightness of his flanks, the line of his jaw, his velvet soft light grey fur, dark blue spiked mane and tail, his sheath…
Dusk blushed a fierce crimson as he flew, which momentarily distracted him from thoughts of his destination. Thoughts which came crashing back to him as he saw the town approaching in the distance. Ponyville was getting closer. Which meant he was getting closer to Ponyville. Closer to him. Closer to his stallion. Closer to the date he had with his stallion.
Dusk was so nervoucited!
He was also prepared. The moment Vocal Chord had hung up after having called him after the fun fair to arrange the date Dusk’s brain had overloaded. Thirty minutes later when he’d stopped hyperventilating, and his mum, Octavia, had almost stopped laughing at him hyperventilating he started to think.
Then he went to his suite to think in private, if only to get away from his mum’s incessant laughing.
Of course the answer had been his friends. Specifically those with partners. Or experience of having had partners. Upon reflection Cyclone had probably been a mistake as a first option to call. The moment he said he wanted dating advice for his first ever date the black mare had laughed as hard as his mum, at least until he hung up his phone.
Air Raid and Wildfire hadn’t been much more help, though he was sure his B.B.F.E, or best bestest friend ever, would have some helpful tips for him. And she did, after Air Raid had stopped laughing long enough to pass Wily her phone. “Be yourself” Wily had said. “Have fun,” she said.
While these ideas had seemed fine on the phone in Canterlot five days ago where there was wine, now he was very sober landing in Ponyville ten minutes before his date these ideas were just the craziest thing Dusk had ever heard. ‘Still, too late to worry now…’ the stallion thought to himself as he made his way to the hot air balloon stand.
Besides, he was prepared. After trying his friends and best friend, the light bulb had gone off and the solution had presented itself. Twilight. Dusk didn’t know why he hadn’t gone to the Princess first off. Twilight had never failed him with a problem yet, and she was the Princess of Friendship, and she had her marriage to Rainbow Dash too…
True, his cousin Cady was the Princess of Love, and she had the very hot and very cute Shining Armour, the very strong Captain who always seemed to make Dusk’s knees weak with just a look, but, well, Ponyville and Twilight were nearer. And Twi had a library. A huge lovely library. Full of books. And books were a source of reassurance to Dusk. Dusk trusted books.
As Dusk waited by the hot air balloon for his date to appear – he wasn’t worried, they had agreed four o’clock in the afternoon, and it was only three fifty two – he recalled with a smile bursting into the Crystal Castle five days ago.
~ ~ ~
“Twilight! Twilight!” Dusk burst through the doors of his science teacher’s library, a look of utter panic on his face warring with feelings of complete joy in his heart. Although Twilight, no, Princess Twilight, wasn't ‘technically’ his teacher during the University holidays, the dark blue pegasus still went to her with any problem he had, true most of those problems were homework related and nothing like this, but at this point Dusk was out of options.
And this was a problem and a half…
Frantically he called her name once more before the sound of clopping hooves from the stairs outside the library reached his ears. A small semblance of calm entered his being at the sound of her measured hoofsteps.
“Dusk Melody, what in the wide world of Equestria is wrong?”
Panic threatened to resurface, and Dusk flapped his wings in agitation, hovering a few feet from the floor of the library. “Twilight! Thank the sun and moon! Help…I need, please…help!”
Twilight took a deep breath, “Right. From the top, tell me what's happened.”
“Well, I…you see, I…” Dusk trailed off, still maintaining his panicked hover.
“Has something happened to Luna, or Octavia?” Twilight asked, fishing for clues as to what had wound up her top student.
“I…wait, what?” Dusk landed with a bit of a thud, confused slightly. “No, it's nothing like that, my parents are fine…no, this is worse, much worse…”
“Okay, is anything wrong with Celestia then?”
“No! Aunt Tia is perfectly fine! Everypony is fine!” Dusk raised his voice in annoyance, wishing Twilight would shut up about his family and let him start so he could finish.
“Well.” Twilight’s tone had turned noticeably chilly in the past few seconds. “What is it then that has you in this state?”
Dusk, in a barely audible voice that Fluttershy would have been proud of, opened his mouth, eyes firmly focused on the floor; “I asked him out…”
“Excuse me?” It wasn't that Twilight didn't believe what she’d heard, more that she didn't hear anything. “Say again?”
“I asked him out…Vocal Chord. I asked him out. On a date. With me. In five days. With me. On a date.”
“But…that's brilliant! Dusk I'm so happy for you!” Twilight halted her congratulations, upon noticing the glazed look in the young stallion’s eyes. “So…forgive me, but what's the problem?”
"The problem? I don't know what I'm doing! I've never asked anypony out before! I've never been on a date before! What do I do? What do I say? Where should we go?” Dusk’s wings flapped involuntarily, joining his right eye as it twitched.
Twilight chuckled, recognising much of herself in the pegasus’ freak out. Gently she placed a lavender hoof on his shoulder, “Dusk, calm down. Everything will be fine.” Seizing a book on a nearby shelf in her magical grasp the Princess levitated it over to where they were sitting and deposited it in Dusk’s hooves. “Here, take this. Read it, it'll help, I promise.”
Dusk glanced at the title of the book he had been given, and with a faint blush on his cheeks stored it in his saddlebags with a grateful smile at the Princess. “Thanks Twilight, I'm sure that'll help!” Wrapping his forelegs around her neck he brought his favourite teacher into a tight hug before flying out the open library doors.
“Good luck!” Twilight called after him, her only reply the slamming of the main castle door a moment to two later.
~ ~ ~
Dusk checked his watch, three fifty eight. Two minutes to go. Nervoucited didn’t even cover the way he felt anymore. But, he reflected with a smile, he had read the book that Twi had given him, ‘Romance 101, The Novice’s Guide to Dating’, he had read it cover to cover several times over the past few days. He had taken its advice to heart. ‘Get to know your potential somepony as soon as possible’ the book had said. So, in his saddlebag was the means by which he’d do just that.
Dusk smiled confidently. Vocal Chord would be so surprised!
~ ~ ~
"Vocal..."
The noon day sun shone through the windows of the little one storey house, ricocheting its way around the bedroom until it eventually hit the closed eyes of the sleeping unicorn. With a sigh he rolled over in the doggie bed and tried to ignore the sunlight and the accented voice that called his name.
“Vocal Chord…” Falsetto leaned against the door frame of her bedroom, her forelegs crossed and a little wry smile on her yellow muzzle. Uncrossing her legs the earth pony mare wiped her powder blue mane from her eyes and trotted over to her snoozing friend. She smiled at the sight of the light grey unicorn, all curled up in the doggie bed, looking for all Equestria like the best little pet in the world.
The bass player crouched and leaned herself close to her lead singer’s upturned ear, smiling as she took a deep breath; “VOCAL CHORD!” She shouted into the ear, and immediately giggled as the slumbering stallion jerked awake, spilling out of the pet bed onto the bedroom floor.
“Morning ‘Setto,” Vocal yawned himself fully awake as he groggily shook his head, “Was that really necessary?” He asked grumpily as he scratched his unruly mane and stretched, his muscles popping from being curled up in the pet bed.
“Good afternoon Vocal,” Falsetto sniggered as she started to busy herself with tidying the bedroom to some form of decency. “And yes it was necessary,” She continued as she carefully put her prized bass guitar back in its stand, “Somepony has a date with a Prince today, remember?”
Vocal dragged himself to his hooves, trying to process his backing singer’s sentence through the fog of sleep that still clouded his brain. He wondered why he was so light headed. He didn’t remember getting drunk last night, not to say that was hard proof he didn’t, but something felt off. Concentrating he tried to magically unlock the dog collar around his neck, and panicked when nothing happened. “’Setto, my magic’s not working!” The singer whined as he tried to work out what had happened.
Falsetto looked up from her cleaning, and idly wondered if it would constitute a breach of their roommate agreement to let him panic a bit more. ‘Maybe…but it would be funny…’ She thought to herself with a giggle. A moment later she took pity on her friend and trotted over to him and put a yellow hoof on his shoulder. “Chill out dumbass,” she grinned, the Vanhoovan showing in her accent.
“But…what…I don’t get it, why…” Vocal’s voice trailed off as Falsetto took his horn in her mouth. He was just about to ask her what he’d done to deserve this little treat when he felt her teeth grip something and twist, before she removed herself and spat what she had removed at his hooves.
“You forgot about the inhibitor again, stupid.” Falsetto giggled as she reached around him and unbuckled the collar. “Besides, good doggies don’t touch their collars, do they?” She bopped his nose with her hoof before carrying the collar to his saddlebag and resuming her battle with the forces of untidiness.
“Thanks ‘Setto,” Vocal started before a thought came thundering to the fore of his brain, “Wait…you said it was the afternoon! What time?” He asked as a new wave of panic threatened to overtake him.
“Relax pooch,” Falsetto sniggered at Vocal’s pout, “You have about two hours. There’s a hot bath in the bathroom ready for you, and cold scrambled eggs on toast in the kitchen.”
“Thanks ‘Setto.” Vocal grinned as he set off to the kitchen to find his food bowls.
Having decided the tidy war was won for today the yellow earth pony leant against her bedroom door and mentally counted down; ‘Three…two…one…’
Right on cue she heard Vocal Chord let out a whine of disappointment from the kitchen. “The eggs are on a plate. The plate is on the table. You will sit like a pony and eat like one, thank you very much.” Falsetto chided him, an undertone of frustration in her voice.
“But…”
“No ‘buts’ V!” She exclaimed, breathing through her nose for calm as she made herself a coffee. “You know the agreement. I indulge your little pet fantasy thing whatever it is, and when you wake up the next day and the collar comes off I get my friend back to talk to. I walked you and played fetch with you yesterday, so now you can be a pony for me.”
“Fine…” Vocal sulked as he started to eat his eggs and Falsetto joined him at the table with her steaming coffee. Vocal cast a look at his food bowls as he ate, and while he had to admit the cold eggs weren’t all that bad, ‘They’d taste better in my bowl…’ he thought to himself.
“So…” Falsetto started as she took a sip of what Vocal guessed was her seventh caffeine injection that day, “What’re you gonna be doing?”
“What? With Dusk you mean?” Vocal asked as he swallowed a mouthful of eggs without thinking, a good proportion of his concentration still lingering on the bowls on the floor.
“No, with his mom,” Falsetto answered, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “I’m sure Princess Luna would just love to walk you on a leash around the Royal Gardens.” She gave an annoyed sigh, “Yes I mean with Prince Dusk.”
Vocal stuck his tongue out and gave Falsetto a loud raspberry. “Well, Dusk said something about a hot air balloon ride, and a picnic on a cloud, so it should be fun.”
Falsetto drained her cup in a single swallow and gave her friend a solemn look. “Don’t buck this up V.”
Vocal answered her look with one of his own as he slid off the seating pad to go to the bathroom. “What d’you mean, don’t buck it up?”
“I mean, this isn’t your usual skanky groupie looking for a quick fumble with somepony famous, this is a date with royalty! So, like I said. Don’t buck this up.”
The unicorn paused at the bathroom door and looked over his shoulder with a grin; “No mom, I’ll behave mom!” Vocal Chord giggled as Falsetto stuck her tongue out at him and decided it was time to beat a hasty retreat to the sanctuary of the bathroom.
An hour later Vocal emerged from the bathroom, washed and scrubbed to within an inch of his life he had even spent a good twenty minutes brushing his fur. His unruly dark blue mane and tail were straightened for possibly the first time in his life, Tartarus he’d even polished his horn.
Falsetto put her book down, a rather racy ‘romance’ novel called Twilight’s Lover, and looked Vocal over as he exited the bathroom. To her great surprise she found her mouth hanging open. ‘Jeez…he’s really trying…buckin’ hell even I’d give him one…’
“Hey V, looking good mate, almost didn’t recognise you.” She trotted over for a closer inspection as he stuck his tongue out at her. “How’d you get your mane to behave?”
“Used your mane straightener.”
“Gee thanks. That’s that ruined then.” The earth pony mare aimed a swat at Vocal’s flank, which he easily dodged with a giggle. “Go on, get out and have fun with your Prince.”
“Yes ma’am…” Vocal paused at the door and levitated his saddlebag to him from the bedroom, but caught Falsetto’s questioning look as he laid it over his back. “What?” He asked, left eyebrow raised.
“You aren’t serious?”
“What?” Vocal asked again.
“You’re taking your collar and leash. Seriously, on a first date. With a Prince?”
Vocal Chord simply shrugged his shoulders as he opened the door with his magic. “You never know ‘Setto,” he grinned back at her, “I might get lucky.”
“Yeah well don’t think me or the band’s gonna visit you in the dungeons when you get arrested for being weird!” The yellow bassist yelled after him as he sauntered off down Mane Street towards the hot air balloon stand. “Ugh…he’s so gonna get arrested.” She thought as she shut her door.
~ ~ ~
“Dusk, babe, what the hay is this?” The light grey unicorn held the sheaf of paper in his magical field, scanning it incredulously.
“Well Vocal, It's, well…it’s a…questionnaire…” The dark blue pegasus’ voice trailed off through sheer embarrassment. ‘What was I thinking?’ He thought to himself.
“I can see it’s a questionnaire Dusk,” Vocal Chord said with a roll of his dark blue eyes, “what I want to know is why my sexy coltfriend has given it to me.”
Dusk shuffled his hooves inside the wicker basket, closely inspecting the weave as he spoke. “It's a ‘getting to know you’ questionnaire.” The young pegasi explained like it was the most reasonable thing in Equestria.
“A getting to know…Dusk…”
“Um, yes Vocal?”
“This questionnaire has seventy five questions and more than twenty pages! You seriously expect me to answer all these? Really?”
“Well, if you wouldn't mind…”
“But babe we’re on a date! You're cute and I love you! Why do you need this?” The exasperated unicorn waved the papers at his coltfriend.
“Well, this book I borrowed from Twilight’s library said it was a good idea to get as much information about your new partner as possible…” Dusk trailed off again as the basket lurched into motion.
“Twilight huh? Hey, speaking of the Princess, thanks for getting her to cast the cloud walking spell. That'll be a help later. So, which book was this exactly?”
A fierce blush flared across the pegasus’ muzzle, turning his dark blue coat a bright purple. “Romance 101, The Novice’s Guide to Dating.”
“Oh Dusk Melody, what am I to do with you?” Vocal laughed out loud, throwing the questionnaire over the side of the hot air balloon basket with a wave of his magic.
“Hey!...mmph!” Dusk’s protest was cut short as Vocal leant in for a kiss, their lips pressing tenderly against each other as Vocal gently pushed his tongue into his coltfriends mouth, causing the pegasus’s wings shot out either side of his body with an audible ‘poomf!’. As the balloon gained height and Dusk relaxed into the deep passionate kiss the Prince found that he really didn’t care about the questionnaire after all. ‘Besides…’ He thought with a ghost of a smile as he kissed his coltfriend, ‘There’s two more copies at home…’
