Pirate Mares

by Jay911

Rating: teen
Tags: Fleur de Lis, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Zecora, Alternate Universe, Main 6, Adventure
Length: 1673

The life and times of the ponies and other creatures of the trade ship Sugarcube, and how they came to be branded as pirates of the 13 seas of Equestria.

This is a different time. Equestria blooms with riches from beyond the seas that used to be its borders. Nightmare Moon's disruption of the Summer Sun Celebration is an event that never took place, and the Elements of Harmony are only a Hearth's Warming chant. Discord itself is more of a spirit of bad luck than a conqueror, sometimes thwarting weather forecasts and other times turning fields into candy corn.

But Equestria also used to be free. Many took to the sea hoping to recover some of that lost freedom and, for a time, it was good. Pinkie Pie's Sugarcube was the most reliable sugar cane trading ship of the Thirteen Seas. Thanks to her, Sweet Apple Acres always had what was needed for jam, the Cake's bakery of Ponyville Docks was a booming business, and even her own ship's kitchen had the freshest muffins on land or sea.

Until the sugar embargo.

With increasing frequency, Her Majesty's navy has been keeping an ever closer watch on the trades routes.

They should have watched even closer.

(edit 2018-04-26: Probably safe to say this experiment is done.)

Published 2015-09-24 14:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-24 14:50:02 UTC

Prologue: Sugarcube

The afternoon sun beat down on the ponies and other creatures standing on the wharf, shifting from hoof to hoof, or talon to talon, or paw to paw as the case may be, impatiently waiting for the officials to permit them to move. Individuals passing by in the adjacent pier and marketplace talked amongst themselves, making no effort to disguise their chatter about the ship and crew under naval detention.

According to the name scripted onto the stern of the vessel, she was named Guiding Star and was from the port city of Silvermoon. Despite the fact it flew Duchess Luna's adopted city's flag, the ship and its crew earned no favor from the Royal Equestrian Navy. The whole crew had been rousted from belowdecks and made to stand in the sweltering heat, while the Navy turned the boat inside out.

The captain of the Guiding Star, the sphinx known by the name Goldfeather, fumed silently as the naval ponies hurried to and fro, disrupting his schedule and moving things out of their proper places, showing them triumphantly to their captain, and then tossing them aside to clatter to the deck randomly. The naval captain stood smugly on the dock alongside Goldfeather, watching and nodding on occasion as his crew held up a random prize.

Finally, an ensign emerged from the cabin carrying a picture frame. Goldfeather, his tail previously flicking back and forth in irritation, froze in place and stared as he recognized the ornate mahogany wood that surrounded the photograph of his wife and litter. And until a few seconds ago, it had been on the headboard above his bunk, in his own cabin, so that it was the last sight he saw every night when he shut his eyes.

He'd had enough of the insulting conduct, and turned at once to the naval captain. In an eloquent yet enraged voice, he stated, "I am from her Majesty's sister's port! I don't have to pay taxes when on Duchess Luna's business! I even cleared my cargo with the Blue Stallion Trading Partnership. All permits are in order!"

The captain of the navy looked at him, sneering as he sized the sphinx up. "Trademaster," he said slowly, simply because he knew drawing it out would infuriate the sailor further, "you are not from the BSTP. Therefore, you have to pay for passage on this trade route."

If Goldfeather had been able to combust into flame right then and there, he would have. "That is extortion, Captain! If there ever were thieves at sea, you'd be it."

The captain was ready, and drew breath as a practiced dramatic moment before delivering his rehearsed answer. "Just doing my job, Trademaster. All trade must be regulated to ensure safety and quality of all produce and merchandise. Should you join the BSTP full-time, you can appeal to this tax once in Silvermoon, though you might want to do it directly at the offices in Port Canterlot."

His sales pitch fell onto deaf ears. Goldfeather aimed a paw at him, eyes narrowed to near-slits, ears back, and tail waggling angrily. "Mark my words, Captain, and take them to your superior: This will lead to contraband and nopony will ever tru-"

He was cut off as the naval captain stepped forward. In a flash, the seapony had passed completely by Goldfeather's outstretched accusing paw and was actually pressing his own snout against the merchant's. "Is that a threat, Trademaster Goldfeather?" the pony sneered, seeming to silently add, Please let it be!

Goldfeather was about to retort when a magic blast suddenly rocked both ships.

The captains, along with both crews, hit the deck - some literally - as the naval boat began to issue brownish-grey smoke from its cabin.

Several hundred yards away, in the middle of the harbor, a purple unicorn mare with an even darker purple cloak was smiling, looking through her binoculars which were magically held to her face. "Nice shot, Fleur!"

Standing next to her on the roof of the cabin, a tall white unicorn mare with a marine-blue coat and hat smiled back. "Why thank you, Twilight! I've been practicing!"

A pink earth pony mare with messy curly pink mane and tail stood near them on the afterdeck, never taking her eye from her spyglass. "Heads up girls," she called out to the pair as well as the rest of the crew. "They're sounding the alarm. Shoot two blasts on the opposite side, so they can't know where this is coming from!"

"Aye, Captain!" was the group answer.

The naval captain rose to his hooves, the argument forgotten. Some of his crew were hurrying back to their ship to tend to the fire, ducking as two more blasts erupted on the opposite side of the Guiding Star, drenching both boats' decks and all the crews in plumes of water. The civilians in the marketplace had scattered, hiding in and around stalls as the commotion ensued on the docks. The captain turned and sought out his lookout in the ship's pegasus-nest. "What's happening? Who's firing at us?!" he bellowed.

"I don't know, sir," came the response. "But magic like that means they're probably close!"

The captain grabbed a passing lieutenant. "Scramble Pegasi! Unicorns at the ready, earth ponies to their pieces!" he commanded.

"But the search-"

"To Tartarus with the tradeship!" the captain said with a crazed glint in his eyes. "We finally have some action!"

The pink pony lowered her spyglass, squinting a little in the distance. "We'll soon be close enough," she said, looking behind her. "How's the concealment crystal?"

A zebra mare was standing watch over a small glass dome, within which a glowing green crystal sat. "It is still holding strong," she said, "but we'll be spotted before long." She gestured upwards with a hoof, where a couple of pegasi had started circling above them.

"Sir!" The pegasus wingleader shouted. "There's a ship's wake dead ahead. It's probably a concealment spell!"

The captain, hearing this, turned to his unicorns. "Take aim and fire warning shots!"

Before a single blast could be fired, a boat materialized in the middle of the harbor, startling both the pegasi overhead and the naval crew on their own ship. It was a medium-sized tradeship, like hundreds of others plying the thirteen seas. However, this one was instantly recognizable, despite the fact it bore no port on its stern, and only the scripted name Sugarcube alongside the gunwale.

It was the pink, gem-trimmed sails that left no doubt about who and what had just dared fire upon the Royal Equestrian Navy.

"The Sugarcube," the captain seethed. "Open fire!"

For the second time within a minute, the naval shooters were interrupted before they could launch any blasts. A crimson blur zipped through their ranks, barely above the deck, arcing around to hover between them and the Sugarcube, drawing the attention of the unicorns and pegasi alike.

It was one of the pegasi who recognized the flier first. "The Red Rainbow!" she blurted out.

"That's right!" the pegasus in the red suit grinned, pushing back her cloak's hood to reveal her polychromatic mane. Her lips curled in a devilish grin as her eyes became slits, and she uttered her most famous words.

"I bet you can't catch me!"

"Fleur says we are ready to leave the port," the zebra said. "Except that we are one crew member short."

Twilight stabbed at the air with a hoof. "There she is!" she called out, and eyes followed her gesture to the sky where a red blur was at the end of a rippling prismatic trail in the sky, heading right for the Sugarcube.

"Gangway! Comin' through!" the pegasus bellowed as she hurtled for the deck.

"Rainbow, do you have to taunt them every ruttin' time we come across them?" Applejack snapped, readying for defense of the ship as her crewmate dashed past her.

The only answer was a gleeful cackle.

"Judging by how low she flies, I believe she has the supplies," Zecora declared.

"Well?" Pinkie said, even as the sails, their gems twinkling as they were manipulated by the unicorns, were filling with air. "Do you?"

"Come on," Rainbow scoffed, turning while hovering over the deck, showing off the heavily laden satchel wrapped around her barrel.

"Good! Get it below to Fluttershy and Rarity," Pinkie ordered. Turning to Fleur, she said, "And awaaaaay we go!"

"At once, my Captain!" Fleur de Lis said cheerfully, spinning the wheel rapidly and continuing to trim the sails with her horn.

The pegasus couldn't resist one last barb as she hovered over the ladder. "Don't forget, fillies and gentlecolts, to tell your grandfoals that today was the day that you almost caught the Red Rai-yipe!!"

She ducked as magical bolts shot over her head from afar. As she disappeared down the hatch into the hold, no less than four voices chastised her: "That's enough, Rainbow!"

The pirate ship picked up speed, the naval ship slowing as its crew directed its attention to putting out the fire on deck, letting Sugarcube go for another day.

Author's Note

Welcome to a collaboration between myself and Lionheartcartoon. It's his AU and characters (except the obvious ones drawn from the original source material) and my storytelling. Despite our ~20 year history of working together on various fanfics, stories, and artwork, this is the first time we've ever actually put one together collaboratively!

Lion has been working on this for ages, and fed me the story bits earlier this year. We decided that we'd give it a shot, and so I took his designs and notes and rough story outline and put together the ~1600 words you see here. This is going to be a full-fledged story, but we have no release schedule as of yet. It'll come sooner or later!

In the meantime, besides what you see above, have a video Lionheart put together showing how he animated the wanted posters which have been on his DeviantArt page for some time.