What is Pinkie's Problem?
A beautiful day in Equestia beams down. Clear skies shine from Rainbow Dash. Birds chirp from Fluttershy. The roads are nice and orderly because Twilight reorganized them. Pinkie the partyest party pony in the land touts with a spring in her step. Pinkie enters Rarity's Boutique. Pinkie enters Rarity's boutique where she finds Rarity with a customer, Treehugger.
Rarity whispers, “Oh you would not believe what I heard about Minute. I knew she what not a natural blue mane.”
Treehugger in her hippie tones, “Oh Rarity you are such a gossip. Like that can totally harsh a mellow man.”
Rarity sighs, “Oh alright. Well I have your suede vests ready.” Treehugger leaves. “Oh hi pinkie. Wait I have it ready.” Rarity goes and grabs an apron. Emblazed on it is Cakes and Pie's Bakery.
Pinkie Pie with a twinge of worry in her voice, “Rarity it is nice but too soon. I have to get my Bakers license first. And I doubt the Cakes-”
Rarity stops her, “Pish-posh. Of course they will. Cakes and Pie Parties and pastries. Oh it will be devein.”
“I hope so. But did you make the regular aprons.” Rarity hands her a pile of "Cake Bakery" Aprons. “I just have to ask... did you tell anybody I had this idea, did you?”
Rarity’s eyes dart about, “Well I... you see I... I...”
“Okayle dorkle.” Pink picks the cakes Aprons and goes to exit.
Rarity calls out as Pinkie leaves, “I hope you get it.” Pinkie opens the door to great day outside, but the spring in her step is noticeably less.
Pinkie enters Sugar cube Corner while the Mrs. Cake rings up a customer Lyre. Lyre says, “Oh these cakes are Bon-Bon's favorite.” Lyre exits the store with a bag of Sweets.
Mrs. Cakes stares daggers at, “Pinkie, we need to have a talk?”
“Oh about what? I got the aprons and I'm on time?” One of Pinkie nerves snaps, but she still has more to go.
“About how you are writing on the customers coffee cups and order boxes?” Mrs. Cakes questions.
“I don't-“
“Riandow Bash? She's like your best friend and you write that on her order for her and the weather team?”
“Well you see I...” Pinkie tries to answer.
Mrs. Cakes gets on her high horse, “And not just her. I have heard this a lot. Its like you don't care, because I know you’re not a dumb pony.”
“Yes ma'am.”
“And it's not just that, what's this I have been hearing about you wanting us to change the name of the bakery to have you on the sign?”
“A silly rumor. Nothing more.” Pinkie squeaks out sheepishly.
“We are helping you get your baker's license because we like you and want to help you. Not so you can take over our business young mare!”
“I know, I would never,” Pinkie pleas.
“Oh really? Cause I have on good authority that you even already have logos and aprons make up for your big coup. That you had Rarity make them for you.’
Barely holding back tears, “My friend just got a little carried away. Rarity just over does stuff.”
“Oh really?”
Pinkie tries to explain, “We were sent to far corner of Equestia because the map-“
“Oh that's why you didn't finish your work that day. I was wondering why my husband was so behind that day.”
“But the map, I have a duty-“
Mrs. Cake cuts her off, “And you have a duty here. It's like you just don't give a shit about things.”
“I'm sorry.”
“You better be. I don't care if you are besty with the princess of caring or whatever it is-“
“Friendship.”
“Whatever. When I schedule you to work is when I expect you here. And I expect you write the customer's names right.”
“Yes ma'am.”
“Now go clean the bathrooms. Big Mac was just in there so you know it needs to be cleaned. The shovel is in the back.”
“Yes Ma'am.” Pinkie hangs her head and goes to work sadly.
Later that day Pinkie rings up customers and in walks Twilight Sparkle, The purple alicorn princess of friendship herself. Twilight waits in line to order her coffee. “Hey Pinkie, I'll take a Vanilla Latte and a birthday cake pop.”
Pinkie writes up Twilight's drink and passes it to Mr. Cake to make on the espresso machine.
Mr. Cake chides, “Pinkie, Twilight has two I's.”
“Oh, oh right I was.” Pinkie wonders why she allows her self to be 2nd guess her so much.
This puzzles Twilight, “You don't know how to spell my name? Aren’t I your best friend?”
“NO! No, it's just I get a little confused- wait never mind I just was making a joke. Yes I was making a joke. You know me random old Pinkie.”
Twilight questions, “I don't get it? What is the joke?”
“Well you know me I'm just so random. I'll make you smile somehow. Cause I love to see you smile, smile, smile.”
Pinkie tries laughing it off... but Twilight just stares stone face. “I have something else to talk about. Your Star Swirl the bearded report.”
Mr. Cake jumps in, “We help you will your classes.”
“I know, I am grateful, I care.” Pinkie cries.
Twilight sounds an air of concern, “Are you? I agreed to help proof read... but it's like you don't care.”
“No I do... I spent days writing and researching-“
“Your commas are all over the place. And your verbs are connected randomly, and don't get me started on the spelling. DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE SPELLING!!!”
Mr. Cake stops listening as the latte whistles loudly, “I see, Well if that is going to be how you treat our help to for you take classes.”
Pinkie cries out, “But the paper itself... what about my ideas and insights on the subject.” Mrs. Cake enters but stands in the doorway.
Twilight answers, “Insightful and well thought out... but you misspelled like five words in a 100 page paper.” Mrs. Cakes faints in the door hearing just that.
“So I misspelled some things... it's not the end of the world. I got close.” Pinkie begins to cry.
“Your comas were everywhere. Did you care at all?”
“I care.” Pinkie breaks down sobbing, “I care.” Pinkie breaks down weeping and kneels at Twilight's hooves.
Mr. Cakes shakes his head as he tends to his fainted wife, “I'm not sure if we should be helping with you education if this how-“
Pinkie through the river of tears, “No I care. I am so close... then we can expand the shop cause then I can be a supervisor pony... we are so close to all our dreams coming true.”
Mr. Cakes says forbiddingly, “Then care about your school work.”
“I do... I do...”
“Then you better pass your final tomorrow.”
“Yes yes, I will. I will... Please give me a chance.”
“You've had a chance. Now just clock out and go... you’re a mess.” Mr. Cakes points Pinkie toward the door. Pinkie in a mess of tears tries to run away.
Rarity stands in the doorway and saw the whole thing. “Oh my goodness.” Rarity scampers away. Pinkie runs away, tears steaming down her face.
Mr. Cakes looks to see that Pinkie is gone, “That was a little hard on a friend, and don’t you think?”
Twilight take a sip of her latte, “She fucked with the written word. You don't fuck with my best friend and get away clean. Every one must obey the laws of syntax and punctuation. OR ELSE!!!” She stomps with pride out.
Pinkie waits impatiently for the test to start. “It's okay Pinkie. So Reading is hard... and writing is harder. You stopped dragons and demigods... just because your best friend is going to turn on me forever over this... NO! I have to stay positive.”
As the rows and rows of lecture hall fill there are two ponies walk in and sit behind Pinkie that talk loudly.
Baker Student one, “Oh my goddess. Why am I taking this class?”
“Because we have sweet jobs lined up at the Canturlot Place. We will be set up for life.” Baker student two says with a very valley girl tone of voice.
“Yet, I guess. Image if we had to work in Ponyville. I hear the bakery makes ponies cry.”
“Really I heard that one of they employees was going to steal their biz.”
“Oh my goddess who would do that?”
“A bitch that's who.” The two mares laugh.
Pinkie just sits there unable to not hear them. The professor enters and everyone quits down. Pinkie gets her test and looks at it... and looks at it.
Pinkie looks down and sees… sees… just a mess of letters. Nothing making sense, B’s and D's spinning in place, 6 and 9 are the same, and Commas everywhere. “Oh it's a bad day.” Pinkie thinks. Pinkie grabs her pen and starts to try to take the test.
Pinkie sits next to the juice tap... guzzling her juice hardcore. She sits in the run down, hole in the wall, juice bar called Moe’s. The bartender pony Moe pony cleans the bar down wind of her.
Moe asks, “What's eatin' yea?”
Pinkie cries into her glass of juice, “I am a failure. I am not as good as other ponies. I can't be a baker... I can even be an adult. Hell I can't even-” Pinkie passes out at the bar.
Pinkie finds herself in a mountain of words. Short words, long words, and even medium words. Just words... words everywhere. But all the letters spin and don't make sense... they just exist and Pinkie stand atop them. Pinkie tries to climb the mountain. She grabs a coma to pull herself up with. But it gives away and starts a word landslide. Pinkie drowns under the words. One, only one hoof stays above the words.
Out of nowhere comes a dark blue hoof. Luna pulls her out of the stew of words and flies her to dream safety.
Pinkie Pie asks, “Princess Luna? What are you doing here.”?
Luna calmly understands, “I know this dream well. Don't worry my little pony. You are not the only one with this affection.”
“What do you mean? Others have this… problem?”
“Yes, I have it as well.”
“What is it?” A door opening sound is heard.
Luna explains, “You have a disease not of the body, but of the mind. A disease that makes you unable to read normally and spelling imposable. Coma's look likes gibberish and there is no chance you can understand any of it. It is called... Dyslexia.”
“Oh my princess, finally someone who... Rarity?” Pinkie sees over Luna to see a doorway with Rarity standing in it.
Rarity exclaims, “Oh my goodness.” Rarity runs away.
Luna wonders, “Well what's the worst that can happen with that?”
“You just fucked me... you just fucked me bad.”
“She had a nightmare too. So I was in a hurry and didn't get the dream door closed totally... I care-” Luna tries to explain as Pinkie gets pulled away.
Pinkie wakes up in the gutter of Ponyville outside the tavern. Pinkie shakes it off and walks home ashamed and dirty. What will happen next, find out next time?
