Author's Note
Reasons I haven't updated:
1. school started
2. broken arm
3. new relationship
4.I built a drift trike
5. writer's block
II ~ Twilight
I stood, testing my leg. It wasn’t quite as bad as it first seemed. I am not a doctor but, I’d say it’s a bruise and sprain. It was swelling up. I wiped the small amount of blood out of my eye with the back of my hand. The blood had stopped on it’s own. Poking the wound and feeling around it, revealed to me that it had swelled up real nice, thankfully it wasn’t a gash. My back was a bit tender in some spots causing me to not stand straight.
I hobbled over to my pack on the ground being careful not to put much weight on my leg. I sat as slowly as I could next to my pack, so basically a flop onto my butt upon the ground next to my pack. My back tensed up from the jostle and I had to wait for it to relax before I could continue. I pulled the pack onto my lap and dug through it, pulling out a shirt and a bandana. Tossing the bag to my side, out of the way, I do my best to wrap my knee up in the shirt, directly over my grey jean. “This sucks,” I think to myself as I pull the knot tight and hiss in pain.
The purple bandana I had in my lap was the next thing I focused on. After the sharp pain reduced to a throb, that lacked the intensity it previously had prior to wrapping. Opening the purple cloth fully I took a corner of it a wipe my hands, forehead, and my hair free of blood. Honestly there was not much of it. I folded the soiled section of the cloth over forming a triangle and put it on my head, knotting it in the back. The purple cloth was tight over the wound on my head, I didn’t want any dirt or crap getting in the cut. “Fuckin’ aliens. What else could it be.” I say aloud, to no one again.
I stood and was thankful that my encounter was not of the sixth kind. I re-orientated myself finding my target very easily due to the disgustingly bright town. Usually I am all for colours, I love them but, this town must have been made by hippies. Everything was much too bright, I had this problem at home but, this was an extreme I had never experienced before. I imagine it is what it would like to be in a dessert without sunglasses. I was practically blind from too much light.
With my sights (barely or rather overwhelmingly) set, I made it down the hill I was on, the process was slow and painful but soon I made it to the first building and leaned against it. The building was a fluorescent orange, I felt rather than saw the extra light beating on my face from the building when I stopped with my eyes closed. I needed to catch my breath and my heart was both palpitating and rushing, my injuries were swelling, increasing in pain with each throb. My moment of rest was quickly interrupted.
“There it is twilight!” I turned my head to see blue, apparently winged demon-horse spawn was back floating effortlessly besides a walking purple demon-horse spawn. The evil duo began heading my way from across the road, between two giant blobs of overzealous colours I knew to be buildings by assumption. I needed to get away.
“OH Please! No mo’” I wined out, whilst pivoting on my good leg. I promptly began moving away from the ‘things’ at a break-neck speed; that is what I was attempting to do but it was expressed by me falling flat on my face. I got a mouthful of grass and dirt for my efforts. This is now the third time I have fallen, I hope this does not become a trend.
“RAINBOW! What Did You Do To It?” a voice from behind me exploded in anger. It terrified me. I actually fliched at the voice, it also took me a few second to realize it wasn’t directed at me. “It’s terrified,” the voice had become quiet and sad. The change in attitude gave me the confidence to look over my shoulder.
“And ‘urt. tha’ blue one beat me up real good.” I quipped towards Purple but indicated the blue demon with a weak pointing of my finger. Purple’s face twisted in anger and she shot Blue a death glare.
“I thought it was a monster!” the object of the death glare spat out indignantly.
“Does that look like a monster? I don’t see fangs or sharp nails. It’s wearing clothes to top it all off. And even if it did have big nails and teeth, that is no reason to attack it. Haven’t you learned anything from any of the escapades you’ve been on? I can’t believe you of all ponies would do something like this.” Purple was lecturing the blue demon. Lecturing was not quite the right word, Purple was belittling her and implying that she was a bigot. The whole time Purple went on, Purple’s voice became higher, tighter, and faster; the blue demon’s demeanor was quiet and still.
“Y’are talking? Ah must ‘ave a concussion” I growled aloud to myself as I got to a sitting position but Blue felt it was her (guessing from the voice) duty to reply.
“Duh we talk! are you stupid?” she said articulately, exploding all of the negative emotions accumulated during Purple’s rant, towards me.
“Rainbow! What is wrong with you today? It’s obviously confused and provoking it is like the worst possible thing to do.” Purple stated confidently.
“You’re starting to sound like Rarity,” the bigoted, blue demon snapped back at Purple. Purple shot a quick glare at the blue demon, again, before turning her attention to my sitting form.
“Let me help you up,” Purple stated cheerfully that seemed to lack sincerity, most likely smarting from the blue demon’s remake. Before I could object Purple’s forehead started glowing weakly in a purple light, without warning my body developed the same light. I was terrified. Within the light I became weightless as in I started to float off the ground, I began shouting taken over by fear. The light stopped a fraction of a second after I began shouting, which to be honest was more of an embarrassing yelp than a shout. When the light stopped I luckily fell on my butt from only a few inches off the ground, but it was enough to jostle my back giving me minor spasms. As a result I grimaced in pain, capturing Purple’s attention.
Purple walked up to me, closing the gap that had been shrinking since the pair saw me, only about a meter remained between Purple and I. The blue demon kept her distance, about the middle of the street, still floating lazily in the air flapping tiny blue wings much too slowly to stay afloat, yet staying afloat. Purple quietly said to me “I’m very sorry, I only wanted to help you up.”
I sat silently for near a minute staring at this things face. Her eyes were large, expressive and an amazing colour of purple; the type of purple rarely seen in nature, that cannot be made artificially, a colour purple so rich and pure. The very essence of purple. My eyes drifted upwards to her hair, it was combed neatly and styled like human woman. Most of her hair was a dark blue, tinted pink; it was blue but at particular angles was many different shades of blue stained purple as the light shined through it. It is rather difficult for me to adequately explain the depth of colour found in this thing’s hair. Two bold streaks of vibrant magenta and that deep ‘essence of purple’ cut across her hair, off-centre to the left. A lavender horn, perfectly matching her coat, poked out from her bangs, spiraling out from the top of her forehead. I was face to face with a talking mini-unicorn.
“An unicorn is talkin’ ta mah” I slowly pieced together some sort of response. Purple sweetly smiled and nodded.
“Yes, I’m a-” I couldn’t contain myself, I started laughing. This was all too much; the painfully vibrant colours, monsters attacking me and mythical creatures talking to me, I feel like a lab rat on LSD attempting to traverse a constructed environment being studied for its reactions. The idea of an alien overlord hidden by some advanced technology observing my reactions from afar blared in my mind.
“Where teh camera?” I asked as my laughing fit cooled to a simmer of chuckles. the confused look on their faces told me they didn’t know what I was talking about. “So, unicorn… tha’ mean ya, was using magic on me?” I said cautiously getting up from the ground; trying not to put any unnecessary weight on my leg.
Purple nodded excitedly and her horn lit up brightly, forming a ball of white light at the tip and shot me with it. The glowing ball hit my chest and sank in halfway, every muscle tensed up as my body was racked with electric pain as the ball shrank, presumably dissipating into my body. I would be screaming if I could even breath, but that wasn’t happening either, due to the vice-like tension in my muscles.
My eyes rolled around in their sockets sporadically. I saw purple, blue, green, and that nasty orange all in a fraction of a second before whiteness filled my vision and I was overtaken by an intense sensation of complete vertigo. All of my senses, had exploded at unrealistically high levels. Just imagine hearing all the different tones the human ear can detect, at the same time, as loudly as any noise can get, now imagine that happening with all modes of perception. I was Tasting everything that could be tasted, from paint to pizza, bleach to bacon, everything. I felt white hot heat surging through my body as well as the coldest of colds. It was a numbness that existed from sensory overload rather than sensory deprivation; in short ‘I was fucked.’
“Am Ah dead?” I asked in a hushed tone, from the ground, once I could move my face but not without great difficulty. I didn’t hear myself speak, I may have mouthed the words. I must have fallen again, I was on my back. I kept my eyes closed as the white grayed into black, along with my other senses returning to normal. I was angry, I sat up quickly as soon as I was able and began shouting “WHAT THE FU-ck did ya do ta me?” By the third word my anger evaporated, I was too surprised to be angry. My knee felt a lot better, in fact all of my injuries were no longer throbbing in pain. Checking the wound on my head had me confused, it was no longer swollen, in fact it was gone.
The blue demon burst out in a hearty laugh “You busted him up worst than me. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you, today?” the arrogant blue thing fired at the purple thing.
“I u-used a-a healing sp-spell on you,” Purple’s voice was quiet, quivering, and remorseful. “it shouldn’t have reacted that way,” she said sadly looking down at her front legs as they pawed at a tuft of overly green grass. I stood, picked up my pack and placed it on my back. As much as I wanted to be pissed-off, I simply couldn’t; she seemed so sad. I stepped forward and her head tilted further towards the ground. I was then about a foot from the strange purple creature, behind her I saw the blue demon glaring at me cautiously.
I dropped to one knee so I would be at eye level and gently touched Purple’s face with open palms upon her cheeks and physically encouraged her to look at me. It looked as though she was about to cry, I saw tears welling up in her eyes, her face was warm and fuzzy, and she was sniffling silently.
I didn’t understand why it was so upset nor did I understand why I cared in the least, so I said the first thing that came to mind. “Stop yo cryin’, ya was obviously tryin’ ta ‘elp me. And Ah’m fine now. Ah’ll fo’give ya if ya can ‘elp me out.” Giving her a way to resolve this… whatever this is, Purple’s demeanor radically changed, from sad to hopeful in just a few seconds.
“What do you need help with... umm, may I have your name?” Purple asked with The blue demon continued to stare at me but had moved from an impossible hover to standing on the ground a few metres behind Purple.
“It is rude to axe fo’ someone’s name wit’out givin’ yar own.” I said whilst standing, no longer holding Purple’s expressive face which had turned a little sour after my statement “But, it is even ruder to attack someone wit’out even speaking to them.” The last statement was directed over Purple’s head towards the blue demon, who’s glare somehow deepened. “You can call me Atrox, whadda Ah call ya?”
“My name is Twilight Sparkle and that over there,” Twilight gestured with a hoof, “is Rainbow Dash. How can we help you?” Honestly the gesture was rather funny looking in my opinion and showed how very flexible these little horse thingies are compared to a normal horse. I stood with my arms crossed silently questioning the reason I was talking to part of my imagination or part of my dream. Twilight cleared her throat about to speak, I put a finger up to indicate ‘one minute’, somehow she knew what I meant. I lowered my finger and gathered my thoughts.
Trying to keep my response as simple as possible I said, “Well, in short, Ah’m lost. An’ Ah’m unsure of the very construct of reality.” I said the last part more to see what there response would be. Both, Rainbow’s and Twilight’s faces twisted up up in concentration. Rainbow was the first to respond.
“You’re lost? Well, you’re in Ponyville. Now you’re not lost.” Rainbow stated proudly as though she solved my problem with a smug look upon her face. Her arrogance was emanating off of her like a stink cloud in an old cartoon. Twilight made a hysterical gesture of slapping herself in the face with her hoof, something like a ‘facepalm’, before deflating the blue demon’s head. (Perhaps that is how she flies; like a hot air balloon.)
“Rainbow, it sounds like Atrox is lost in a greater sense than not knowing what town you’re in. Is that correct Atrox?” Twilight spoke in a flat voice.
“Err,” I wasn’t really sure how to answer, “yeah, tha’s right.” The face Rainbow made in response to my affirmation of Twilight’s statement was that of utter defeat. Her lips were quivering and frowning, and her ears flopped downwards, frowning in their own right; it was so sad it was cute. I don’t know if I mentioned this before but these little horse things were really cute, like giant stuffed animals with the colours to match. Their eyes were large, expressive and filled with unnatural colours. The blue one had very dark pink in her irises, a magenta only found in rare instances in nature. The swelling of tears in her eyes drew my attention to her eyes.
Twilight came to Rainbow’s rescue by pulling the attention of both, Rainbow and I away from Rainbow’s outward expression of emotions by speaking. “Rainbow, why don’t you go tell spike to come here with the materials for a letter. Get back to your weather duties, I think I can take it from here.”
“Are you sure Twilight? This thing may try to hurt you.” Rainbow paused thinking for a moment, holding a hoof under her chin with her other foreleg across her chest, standing on two legs. Her cocky smile returned before she spoke. “Then again it was pretty weak. Okay Twi, you got it.” Rainbow’s wings unfolded from her sides and she jumped into the air before I could retort against her bold statement. A blur of blue and a trail of rainbow was all that I saw as the blue demon went to get this ‘Spike.’
In my suprise I had lifted a finger towards the disappearing trail of colours, then looked at Twilight. The lack of response to the unholy and physics breaking speed told me this sort of thing was normal. Ha, normal, I was talking to a unicorn and apparently a pegasus, two things that should not exist. I lowered my finger knowing I would not get a response. “Twi-Light, am Ah dreamin’?” I know it was a dumb question but I had to ask it anyway.
Dumb in the sense that ‘of course you’re dreaming’.
Twilight’s face mimicked the sadness it previously had but at a much lower intensity before she asked. “Why do you think you are dreaming?” her sad voice rang out. It was starting to creep me out how nice she was being and how very invested in my situation she had become in the few minutes since we had met.
“Well, yar an unicorn, and tha’ blue demon” I waved my hand around “jus’ ain’t real.” The manner in which I spoke was flat, I didn’t even know why I was bothering to talk to this, this ‘dream character’, for lack of better term.
Twilight looked shocked, as though something dramatic happened, it was ridiculous in my opinion. I crossed my arms and waited for this purple thing to try to convince me otherwise. “I don’t understand, as far as I can tell I am real.” She looked at a hoof of hers. She held it up in front of her face, once again showing the strange joint articulation these little horsies had. (I know it’s a childish word, but I don’t care.) Placing the hoof back on the ground she continued. “However, I can’t really prove I’m real so honestly, what does it matter if it is a dream or not?” Twilight answered with such brutal logic I had to stop and think on the words she spoke.
I stood squinting into the horizon, some of the terrible brightness had subsided. I was staring at the sky; melting from one colour into the next. hues of orange-red danced in the clouds playfully nipping at the pink tufts scattered throughout the sky. The backdrop to the slow and delicate waltz was a transition from power blue into a deep, almost sad blue with tiny points of light poking through. “It’s all stuff I can’t prove.” I thought slowly to myself repetitively until Twilight de-railed my train of thought by speaking.
“Atrox, are you okay?” the sweet but sad voice called to me, seemingly from very far away.
I then remembered something, from deep within my memory. It came not to my mind first, but to my mouth. “I t’ink, derefore Ah am.” I mindlessly spoke. I don’t think I made a lot of sense to Twilight, not from the face she made. It never made much sense to me either, until this purple thing said what she had said. Twilight’s face was twisted up in confusion, like she ate a lemon. I don’t know if it is from the lack of clarity of my speech or from my choice of words but I did not give Twilight the chance to begin voicing any of her ideas. “Ah’ve gotta choice that ain’t much of a choice,” I sighed out, feeling somewhat defeated.
“What is it?” Twilight said cautiously, with a tiny tremble in her voice.
“Umm” I said trying to buy myself time to piece together something to say. “Ah don’t think you understand the extent to which Ah’m lost. Ah don’t t’ink Ah’m on eart’.” I cleared my throat to speak better. “Earth. Ah don’t t’ink.” I stopped in frustration at my lack clear dictation. “ Ah don't think Ah’m on Earth.” I stated in a monotone voice in order to get the pronunciation correct, I always had trouble with 'th' sounds.
Twilight looked up at me with an odd expression, mayhaps a mixture of confusion and interest, before she spoke. “Earth. Is that an Island?”
“No, it innit.” I know I should have felt defeated, but that is not an easy thing to happen if you’ve got very little in the means of expectations. “Twilight, Ah axe you if this were a dream. Ah never… It’s an alien world or a dream one tah me.” I was stumbling over my words. I knew what I needed to think but I couldn’t. If it was put into words I would have to face the situation. It was too big, I didn’t want to even try, I knew it would be painful if I did. I just did everything I could due.
I sat on the ground and held my face in my hands. I just started breathing deeply and slowly. ‘Mayhaps my brain was starved of O2,’ I thought to myself as I tried to take deeper, more meaningful breathes. After a few minutes of trying to centre myself, I moved my hands away from my face and opened my eyes.
Twilight was sitting in front of me, staring at me with a confused face and her head tilted to the side. It was like a dog trying to figure out what it’s master said. Before either of us could speak the calling of Twilight’s name stole both of our attention.
“Twilight! Are you over here?” a masculine voice called out. I assumed this to be ‘Spike’.
My assumption was proven correct once Twilight spoke, “Spike! Over here.”
Spike bust up from behind one of the ugly coloured building, that I could tell was a building since the sun was retreating, and froze staring at me. I returned the stare. It was a tiny, naked lizard-man holding a few objects in it’s hands. A naked lizard-man. I returned my face to my hands and began breathing slowly. “Twilight, what is that thing? Is it gunna hurt you?” The masculine, yet high pitched voice squeaked out.
I heard Twilight chuckle sweetly, “I really don’t think that will be a problem. I don’t know what he is but he does speak and he told me to call him Atrox.” I heard the gravel crunch, knowing the purple lizard thing was approaching.
Twilight’s tone stayed optimistic the whole time she was speaking about me. This little fact rang in my mind, why was she being so damned nice? What did she want from me? Why did I even care what the intentions of a dream character were. I was getting very pissy and I recognized this. I had to focus on something I could actually fix; I was hungry.
I abruptly stood causing Lizard-man Jr. jump back a foot or two. “Ah be t’inkin’ Ah be needin’ food.” I crossed my arms and gave a flat stare as a response to Spike. Like really? part of my own mind is surprised to see me stand? Mayhaps they really are aliens; I am hungry, in a dream after all. “Would it be any trouble to get some food from ya?” I pulled my wallet out of my pocket, “I can pay you for the food.” as soon as I said it I was worried I was wrong. If it is an alien planet I’m on they wouldn’t use the same money, I’m so stupid.
“You don’t have to pay us for a meal, just let me send a message to Celestia to let her know about you and then you can join us for dinner.” Twilight stated avoiding eye contact doing that pawing thing again but with a small pebble this time.
“Good deal, Ah don’t t’ink my money would be any good here.” I fished out a five dollar bill and decided to try to interact with the purple, naked lizard-man. “Spike? Is that your name? I am Atrox”
Spike looked to Twilight and with a gentle nod from Twilight, Spike answered in a nervous shaky voice. “Y-yes”
“Would you like you take a look at my money? I bet it’s a little different from your’s.” I offered the bill to him. He looked very confused.
“Show me your money if you want me to see it.” Spike declared in a confused tone, no longer nervous from sheer ununderstanding.
“Ah am, this paper is money, Ah should show you my debt card. then you’d be confused.”
Spike snatched it from my hand and looked it over, “It’s so small, it has writing all over it. And little pictures.” after a little while of looking it over Spike held it up to hand back to me.
As I reached for to the bill back Spike sneezed out a fire-ball bigger than my head. I booked it as hard as my stupidly flat feet could allow. After a few steps I was yanked back my leather vest. I landed Hard on my butt, popping my tailbone.
After a gaging and spitting noise caught my attention Twilight began speaking (not the best word to use) “What Is That Stuff Made Of?” the tone Twilight used was that of confusion and disgust.
Looking behind me from the ground I saw spike holding a smoldering fragment of the bill. “Umm, It’s... or it was paper, Ah said it was. It’s got a bunch of stuff in da ink.”
Twilight took a deep breath and sighed, it seemed like she was getting annoyed “I meant that vest of yours. Was is it? It doesn’t taste right.” She said this with a scrunched-up face and her voice was straining to sound pleasant.
My eyes shot open to the fullest extent they could in the realization and implication of her question. I covered my face with my hands and flopped backwards onto the ground hard enough to loudly pop my spine.
I heard a yelp from the fire breathing lizard man. Why the hell was he scared? I can’t think about him now, I have to answer tactfully. My fucking leather vest.
I suppose this is going to be the best opportunity to actually detail what I look like and what I’m wearing, due to the relevance of my clothes to the situation. I am six feet tall and weigh 14 stone, pale, shaved clean on my head. My beard comes in red. Now on to my clothes, you’ll understand why I flopped onto the ground. I had my tall steel toes boots, leather, coming about two thirds the way up my shins, my grey jeans, I think they’re really canvas but whatever. I had a thick shirt, plaid and purple, my leather vest and a leather hat. All the leather was black. Basicly, I was wearing a ton of skin in front of an herbivore.
The stupid vest I made from a motorcycle jacket. I loved how it had many pockets with sturdy fasteners. To be honest it was one of my most prized possessions, I had gotten the jacket when I ran away as a child and had worn it nearly everyday since, when the arms got too short I cut them off. The point I’m trying to make is that is is amazing that a choice in childhood can still affect you years later.
“Umm, Twilight, Is he Okay?” the lizard-man asked. That was it! If she was okay with a lizard, she should be okay with leather, right? Oh fuck it was a gamble and I knew it. I curled up into a ball and rolled forward onto my feet and stood. The time I spent contemplating on what to do, the mismatched duo came closer to my standing form to get a closer look at my face, scowling in concentration.
“Well,” I said in a higher tone than I wished “Ah ‘ave a feelin’ ya ain’t gunna be likin’ muh answer but, it’s leather.” It took some effort to pronounce the ‘th’. I put my hand on my face trying to block all light from reaching my eyes. I didn’t want to see her judging me, even if she was an alien. After a brief moment of awkward silence Twilight cleared her throat.
“What is leather?” she calmly asked. After she said that I had looked at her questioningly. She really didn’t know what it was. I glanced at lizard-boy, he simply shrugged. I took a step back and turned away from them. I really didn’t know what this magic crap was capable of, even if it was just advanced technology. I know there are drugs that can make people tell the truth and tech that can detect lies from Earth. I didn’t want first contact to be based on a lie of any kind. I swallowed hard, closed my eyes, and took a slow deep breath.
“It’s hide.” I said straining not to run away keeping my eyes shut and my hands firmly at my sides. After a few seconds I slowly started to open my eyes.
All I saw was a bright pink flash of light before I found myself in a, well, I guess the best word would be bubble. I could not see through it and it seemed to glow. I tapped the side of the magenta bubble with the back of my hand. it felt hard like glass but It didn’t make any noise. I counted aloud to test my idea “One, two, three.” I didn’t hear my own voice either. I already gave up trying to understanding once I saw the lizard man. I sat down and simply waited.
An undetermined amount of time later, It could have been 15 minutes or an hour, I don’t really know, without warning the bubble burst and dissipated instantaneously. Before me stood a Proper unicorn from legend. Tall, horse sized, a metre long spiral horn, thin and sharp, it’s coat was so white it seemed to glow, the tail and mane was otherworldly. It moved in a breeze that I could not feel, the pastel colours it contained swayed into each other. The beast before me emanated a raw power, the hairs on my arms and back stood out straight. I was terrified, but remained composed. The great white beast looked down towards me and it’s eyes narrowed.
All I could do was weakly wave my hand at it and squeak out “Hello.”
III ~ Commotion in Canterlot
“Hello?!” the great white beast said rather loudly expressing a fair amount of surprize. “Is that all you have to say for yourself.”
“Umm, what else would ya like me tah say?”
“How about the truth?” the great white beast hissed out.
“‘Bout wha’? You ‘avn’t axed me anyt’ing yet. Ah don’t even knows where Ah am. Why are you so upset? Ah should be the one ‘ave a temper tantrum.” I spat out at the beast, whom to my surprize looked taken back. The beast’s expression was short lived as it collected its thoughts.
“You are wearing skin, that in and of itself is sick.” The great white beast’s eyes narrowed. It’s voice transducted an extreme seriousness whilst remaining quiet.
“And?!” I said loudly, I really didn’t care, I gave up once I saw the lizard-man. I was no longer scared, a nice heavy dose of apathy was setting in. “Y’are naked.” I think that statement caught her (assuming by the voice again) totally off guard. Her cheeks became red and she looked away.
Once she had regained her composure she turned back to me and softly asked “Why does that matter?” The beast had a disgustingly smug grin across it’s face.
“It’s sick. Tah be nude is far worse and much more sick.” I mimicked her smug grin as her grin slid into a scowl of confusion. She took a step back and her mouth opened and closed trying to make words. After a moment or two she closed her mouth and turned her body away from me and began pacing.
After she took a step back and I had some breathing room I stood slowly, with the beast no longer in my face I was able to take a look around. The pair of us were dwarfed to the room we were in. I use the word room lightly, we were in a giant great hall. White marble and gold leafing everywhere. There was only the fading natural light coming into this expanse of whiteness from behind me. I did not dare to look away from the beast, I kept her in my sight the entire time I looked around. The far wall in front of me and behind the beast was a rather ornate display of stained glass rising further than I could see without looking away from the beast. Pillars coated in stylistic carvings and bordered by a grotesque amount of gold leafing proudly rose from their bases reaching above my field of vision. The sights were disorientating but oddly enough I smelled something familiar in a place that is anything but, it was vanilla.
“I smell cake, and Ah’m ‘ungry.” I said calmly but loudly so the beast could hear me. Her head turned to me with a very confused face.
“Y-you, What?!”
"Ah want cake.” I said flatly, quieter with her attention. I sniffed the air loudly, “Vanilla and sugar” I sighed out. “Ah was already ‘ungry, but now Ah wants some cake.” I said.
The great white beast made quite a funny face of incredulousness, both of her eyes were wide, before asking “You want cake? Twilight gave me the impression that you were a carnivore.”
“Ah’m an onmivor, Ah eat loads of different foods.”
“So you admit you eat meat? I must know what you hunt,” she quickly and authoritatively spat at me.
“Ah don’t, ne’er ‘ave. Ah’ll cook and eat damn near anyt’ing but,” I pointed at her obnoxiously, “Ah don’t know ‘ow ta ‘unt.”
She chuckled a little bit at first, then burst into unadulterated laughter. Whilst laughing she sat. Once she was done laughing, she wiped her eye and regained what looked to me as a more formal posture, remaining sitting on the ground facing me. she was a few metres from me. “I have never heard of a non hunting meat eater before, I also know that you are not lying. I enchanted my horn with a detection spell. You are most strange. By any chance, do you know who I am?”
“Notta clue” I stated boldly before. “Ah told tha’ purple one Ah was lost, an’ Ah meant it.” I crossed my arms at that point and sighed. “Ah’ve no idea even where Ah am nor what you even are.”
The beast gave me a look conveying confusion, “Twilight… relayed that you've positively identified that she was an unicorn and-”
“And the blue one was a pegasus? Yeah, Ah’ve ‘eard of them as story only. But they s’posed tah be like y’are size. Dem ot’ers are too small.” My hand waved in a nonchalant manner to match the tone I was giving and swiftly returned to it’s resting place.
“What type of stories?” She asked.
“Fictitious.” I stated quickly. She giggled, “Wha’s so funny?” I was irritated.
“Perhaps there are stories of them because they exist outside of your people’s territory.” It was my turn to laugh. And laugh I did. like, really? We woulda seen them. My fit of laughter brought me to a knees, my face was red and I was tearing.
“Out- out- outside” I paused and took a breath, “Me people di’t ‘ave an ou’side.” I know I was unclear, but I was laughing too hard. The white beast was simply staring at me.
“I think my sister would be better inclined to deal with you. I am just lost on what to make of you.” Her voice was neutral, I believed her, but it made me wonder what type of thing it’s sister was.
“iight ‘kay. bu’ first Ah wanna trade names if y’are chill wit’ tha’.” I said with a shit eating grin as I was recovering from the fit.
“What do you want?” she asked, not understanding me.
“Yo name. I want yo name. Yo can be callin’ me Atrox.”
“Oh, you have a strange way of speech Atrox. My name is Celestia, my sister’s name is Luna.” She said in a pleasant tone. “I am going to send Luna to you. To be honest you are just too… unique for me to evaluate.”
“Evaluate?” I said in a curious tone.
“Yes, It means to determine-” I cut her off.
“Ah know da word, what’re you evaluating?” I said getting irritated again. As I spoke I realized that my moods were swinging, I had low blood sugar. “Ya know wha’, I don’t care. I nee’ some cake. Sumpt’ing tah eat, unless you want me getting pissy.”
“I’m not sure what pissy means but, I will send some food with my sister.” She got to her feet and started to turn away before looking back at me and asked “What will you do if you don’t get food?”
“Umm, Ah’ll be even mo’ ‘ungry.” I said shrugging and wondering what type of question that was.
“Very well.” the beast stated before a pop and flash scared me off my knees, unto my butt. The beast vanished. I twisted my head around with such speed I popped my neck, looking for Celestia. She was nowhere in sight.
What I did see gave me pause, that is to say that the sight of the ceiling, high above my head, was filled with details and colour. Pulling my attention away from the ceiling was quite difficult, I had more pressing matters than the artwork. I got to my feet and looked behind me to see where the dwindling light emanated from.
It was a walk to the glass doors that stood tall, a solid 20 metres. I stood a few steps back from the doors, looking through them. A large balcony made from the bright white stone and a golden rail greeted my eyes but, that was not their focus. Pushing the doors open, I stepped out onto the balcony and walked to the gaudy rail placing my hands on them.
The sun was retreating, it was nearly gone, nothing but a sliver of it remained above the horizon. Small gagged lines made up the silhouettes of the vastly distant mountains. The sky had darkened and small wisps of clouds glowed in the softening glow of the sun. Leading to the distant mountain was a series of green lush fields on gently sloping hill.. It was truly beautiful sight, unlike anything I had seen before. This was the turning point; I had made my decision. I let go of the idea that I was dreaming, I was on an alien world.
I peered down off the balcony, straight down. One of my greatest fears exploded through my mind; heights. I was not afraid being on the side of a cliff, or the top of a mountain. What I was afraid of was heights from constructed structures, like skyscrapers, tall bridges, and fire towers, just to name a few. It truly is a phobia.
I was frozen, staring at my potential death. Green fields shifted below in the soft wind, seemingly miles away. I wanted nothing more than to run away from the edge, but all I could manage was to close my eyes. I could feel a cold sweat creeping over my body as I screamed at it internally to move, to avoid death. I felt my legs shaking. The worst part about all of this, I know I’m fine, on an intellectual level I know I’m physically fine. On an emotional level, I’m dying. I know the only thing I have to do is move from the edge but I can’t. I actually think I stopped breathing because everything suddenly stopped.
I awoke on the couch in my living room, the black leather was sticking to my legs. It was dark in the room, the only light was coming from the t.v. I stood up after peeling my sweaty body from the couch and walked to the kitchen. “What a weird dream.” I thought to myself as I reached for a glass from the tall wooden cabinets and turned on the tap with the other hand. with the water running I filled the glass and set it aside, I splashed my face to wake up a bit more.
Something was wrong. I shut the water off and listened carefully. I could hear the static on the t.v. Static? it’s digital. I went back to the living room and searched for the remote, I found it in seconds. Shutting off the t.v. left me in silence. I closed my eyes and focused on my hearing. Nothing. I heard nothing. The sounds were missing from outside. I heard no traffic, no airplanes, nor birds.
WRONG.
The thought screamed at me, burning in my mind. The feeling of wrongness permeated me. I ran from the living room to the stairs leading up to the second floor, scrambling as fast as I could, knocking items down. I heard glass shattering behind me as I hit picture frames off the wall, leading up the stairs. I was using my hands and feet to get up the stairs, like a wild animal. I needed to see it.
Once I was on the landing, the second floor, I hauled ass to the furthest room of the house, my room. I got to the door and froze, my hand stretched out about to touch the door. I looked down at my hand, it had a plethora of thin slices, all on the palm-side of my hand. I have dealt with cuts before, I have even stitched myself closed on a few occasions, but this was different. There was no blood. I had cuts from glass and no blood. The feeling of wrongness blared even louder. It consumed my thoughts.
I fell to my knees, grabbed my head and screamed. It was all I could do to keep the wrongness away. I screamed and bellowed and shouted. It was WRONG. Everything was WRONG. During my fit of helplessness and frustration, expressed in the form of shouting and such, I remembered something very important, rather someone important.
Jesse.
Running from the hallway, slipping and cutting myself down the stairs, I burst through the front door. I ran out onto the lawn; I had to find Jesse. I ran into the middle of the street and stopped. looking up the road I saw fog obscuring said road. I could not see the homes of my neighbors. There was silence all around me, the feeling of wrongness was growing ever stronger. My mind whirled in thoughts, but I did have a single focused thought; Jesse.
I needed to get to Jesse, I needed my car. I hurried to the driveway and ran up it along the side of the grey and red house. I made it to the backyard and I was greeted by an empty yard. My car was gone; I started running to Jesse’s home. I needed to find him.
Down the street I ran, sprinting towards the fog and right into it. I couldn’t see but I continued to run straight. I needed to escape the wrongness and I needed Jesse. Soon the fog broke and I stood at the foot of jesse’s house.
Jesse’s tall yellow house stood towering over me; it was much too soon to be here. Jesse’s house was miles away. I didn’t give it any thought, I just wanted Jesse to take me into his strong arms and hold me.
The white door at the front of the house creaked open. That’s when he came out, smiling. “There you are, come here.” he said reaching his arms out. With nary a thought I ran to his and embraced him; his thick arms pulling me tight against his warm strong body.
WRONG.
My mind exploded with doubt.
Jesse seemed off. Very off. He didn’t bite my neck. Jesse ALWAYS bites my neck.
He seemed so still against me, usually he cops a feel or two (which I like).
I pushed ’Jesse’ away from me and his head turned away from me, I grabbed his shoulders. “look at me” I growled. “Jesse’s” head turned towards me with his eyes closed. “Look at me, open ‘em.” I growled loudly. ‘His’ eyes opened slowly.
Teal eyes.
I broke down onto my knees, sobbing. Not out of fear. Not out of sadness. It was pure hate. I was sobbing like a small child because of hate. I fell to my side. I was so consumed by hate I could not do anything but cry and hyperventilate. I hated the teal baku. Instead of calming down I felt rage swell up in me.
“Teal Baku! The Tea Eyed Baku!” I screamed in rage, again and again. My throat burned from screaming in rage but I continued. How dare a demon come into my mind. I lifted myself from the ground and began screaming louder “DO YOU ‘EAR ME TEAL BAKU, AH’LL GETCHA!”
In my screams of rage I tilted my head to the obscured sky and shut my eyes tight. Every muscle in my body was tight, all working towards my expressing my hate.
A strong cool breeze blew over my sweaty body and I stopped yelling immediately. Opening my eyes revealed the balcony, I was a safe distance from the edge. I looked down to my hand that was cut in several places; nothing was there, no cuts.
My inner rage continued to smolder and increase, in response I walked towards the only door I saw on the other side of the football-field sized room. I want to say I swaggered over to the door but I probably looked more like Gollum, trying to find his ring.
Once I stood in front of the door I paused only long enough to study the handle layout of the door. I grabbed the handle forcefully. I was meet with what felt like 40 thousand volts streaming into my hand. I could not let go of the door handle, the muscles in my hand tensed up. My rage was simply fuelled by the pain of the door. I used the fact that my hand would not let go by yanking my body back.
It was so very painful, all the muscles in my forearm were vice-locked, I twisted and jerked my body trying to get off the door. In a last ditch effort to get off the door I jumped backward hearing a pop.
I did get the door open at the cost of my shoulder, it was dislocated. I know this because it has happened before, a loud pop is a good indicator. When the door opened, the energy stopped and my hand let go. I had landed hard on my butt, again. feeling the swelling sharp pain in my shoulder kept me alert and focused on my anger.
Getting off the ground I went straight through the door I had opened and found myself in an extremely long, majestically large hallway. I knew I had to take care of my arm so I slammed it against the door frame I had walked through. It took three tries before I heard the pop. It still hurt like all hell, but I had a demon to slap around. I was not going to be pushed around by fate any longer. Left down the hall I went searching for the wicked beast, that Teal Eyed Baku.
The hall was somewhat plain, with the exception of the woodwork framing each door and the carved base board running along the bottom of the wall, meeting with the red patterned carpet. I was too pissed to take in many details but I can say that it had fine craftsmanship.
Behind me a door had opened that was accompanied by a small set of ‘clip-clop, clip-clop.’ I slowly turned to see an another mini horse in what seemed to be a maids outfit, walking away from me with no haste and no concern of my presence. I needed information. “Excuse me, Ah’mma bit lost. Ah’m s’possed to see a Luna, but first I must know if there is anything that can enter dreams?” I said, straining to be polite.
“Oh dear me, I’m very sorry. I didn’t see you there. As far as I know only Luna can enter dreams. See protects us from the nightmares.” she responded quickly. “I’m sorry that I cannot be of any no use to you.”
“You ‘ave ‘elped me so very much. Ah t’ank you.” I said in as calm of a voice that I could muster. I believe it may come of wrong because she maid blushed before scurrying away in a hurried mess of ‘clip-clops’.
The name of the Baku has been revealed to me; Luna. I assume this to be the same Luna as Celestia mentioned. That means the demon can be found right where I was. I stormed right back to the door I had left open and sat down, I did not want to enter that massive room again.
A bright flash and pop drew my attention to the centre of the massive room. A tall and dark unicorn looked around wildly before seeing the open door and myself sitting there; She then came towards me. “Ah assume ya tah be Luna.” I said loudly when she was nearer. She nodded and I continued, “Ah’m pissed off at ya. What the fuck is wrong with ya?”
She stopped dead in her tracks “Such boldness, What have I done to you?” she sounded surprised.
“Shut the ‘ELL up Baku!” I got to my feet and walked into the room and put my face in hers staring at hers. She held one eyebrow up and had a confused expression.
“What is a baku?” she said unfazed by my anger.
“Really? It’s what you are, Dream Eater,” I said in a cold callous tone. Once I said ‘dream eater’ her eyes closed and her face relaxed to a frown; her head tilted downwards slightly. “look at me, OPEN ‘EM!” I screamed at her, causing a small flitch. Her lids peeled back, causing her eyes to frown in their own right. “Teal Baku, why did you enter my mind? Did you do it to hurt me?” I said in an extremely angry, yet civil tone.
“No!” She cried out, “It is my duty to protect the dreams of my subjects. that is why I entered your dream.” Her answer seemed rehearsed, she answered too quickly.
“Do you take me as a fool? Such a bullshit answer. Ah am not your subject. Ah may not ‘ave enchantments to detect lies but Ah’m nah stupid. There is no way quicker to anger me dan ta lie to me. Ah’ll ask ya again, Why did you enter my mind?” I had lost all zen.
She let out a defeated sigh, “I noticed a strong dream, unlike the ponies’ dreams. I figured it was the atrox creature my sister told me of, I wanted information.”
“Do you know why Ah’m so anger-y?” I was straining to not scream like a fool.
“Was it the form I took within the dream?”
“Dat’s only teh cherry, dat is ‘ow Ah knew. My people do not ‘ave der ability to enter minds like you do. Infact we ne’er encountered anything that can that, but t’anks to the limitless imagination of my people we have the concept.” I paused, gathering my thoughts. I thought of the cruelest thing I could say in that moment, I also thought of a specific episode of Startrek as means of inspiration. “Do you know wha’ we call it when someone’s mind is entered wit’out permission or provocation?”
“No.” her tone was neutral, her face sad.
“We call it,” I pressed my nose to hers, getting her to open her eyes wide, “mind-rape.”
She Gasped loudly and took a failed step backward, falling on her butt. “NO!” she protested loudly. Her hooves scraping against the hard polished surface, failing to give her grip, in an attempt to back away from me
“Do you know what form you took?” I pointed angrily at her.
“The one you love the most, your brother.” she said in a shaky voice, avoiding eye contact.
“Look at me! Ah don’t ‘ave any brothers.” I crossed my arms and looked into her eyes. “Ya’ve disrespected my lover by taking his form. ‘Ow dare you defile his image? You t’ought you could scry and scurry? Wha’d you learn of my people? Was it wort’ it in exchange for my anger? Especially when Ah was more than willin’ tah answer questions? Was it wort’ it? Huh? Was the information wort’ ‘aving me call you a rapist? Huh? WAS IT?” With every word I spoke Luna’s face flinched, when she closed her eyes again, that’s when I lost it and began screaming. I know my face was red, like a beet and I was foaming at the mouth, globules of spit flying at the dark unicorn.
“NO!” Luna yelled with a ferocious volume “IT WAS NOT!” her long spiraled horn lite up and she vanished in a flash and pop. I tasted ozone.
“Yeah, just run away,” I said to the space that was previously occupied by the dark beast. I turned and walked into the hallway again and took up my previous post looking into the room. My shoulder was swelling and I stewed in my pain and anger. I spent a few minutes in the bright hallway before I looked up looking for a source of light. Above me, on the wall was a torch glowing brightly, held up by an ornate brass work. The oddest thing of the torch was the lack of flame. It was just on orb at the end of a stick glowing white. I was consumed by this mystery, quelching some of my anger by distraction.
A flash and familiar pop emanated from the ballroom. “ATROX!!” Celestia’s voice exploded from the room.
“Whadda you be wantin’?” I shouted, to be heard. there was a rapid popping noise and a flash. Celestia stood tall and angry, crowing her neck down to give me a stern stare. “God damn lady, talk about personal space.” I said quickly and out of surprize, leaning away from her, it’s not everyday that an animal that can crack ribs by weight alone appears before you in a flash. My statement caused her a slight pause, long enough for her to notice.
“How did you open this door? I sealed it with magic.” Celestia's hard stare softened due to her incomprehension of my daring escape.
“Painfully,” I rolled my arm a few times, easing no pain, “Why were you yelling for me?”
“What did you do to Luna? What hidden magic do you have?” Celestia’s voice was tight, like she was worried.
“I used my words, I made her aware of wha’ she’s done wrong.” I said in a tired voice.
Celestia’s eyes went wide, like really really wide. Like it seemed her eyes might fall out her head sort of wide. “Th-th-that is not for you to do, she knows what she has done.” Celestia’s voice changed. It’s tone alone had frightened me. It was quiet yet conveyed a thousand screams. Before I could even twitch the white beast’s horn flashed and I receded into darkness, Celestia’s face, still with anger, was the last thing I saw.
Let me pose a question to anyone reading this; have you ever woken up shivering from the cold? I’ve gone camping in the snow, and I’ve awaken hungover on frosty grass late in the autumn season not feeling my hands or feet.
This was a new level of cold, but it was not the cold I was first aware of, nor the hardness of the ground. My own body’s movements woke me up, all of my muscles moved, of their own volition, Rapidly. My eyes slid open, a weak indirect light revealed to me a flat grey slab of stone making up the ground. I groaned from the uncomfortableness of the hard surface on my forehead and chest. Shaking uncontrollably from the cold made getting to my feet difficult. I tucked my hands under my arms to warm them up, that’s how I knew I was naked. totally naked. looking up and around for the source of light, I saw that I was in a cell. Three stone walls and one of bars.
“Oy! Anyone around?” I asked through the bars of the cell, cupping my junk with both hands. “Ah nee’ some ‘elp!” I stated louder then my question. There I was, shivering and naked, standing pleading to a quiet stone hallway. I heard no answers.
“OY! Ahmma freeze to deat’! Dis ist cruel!” I screamed after a few minutes of silence. The tight hard space had me wincing at the echos of my own voice. A few second after the echos stopped a few metallic clanks echoed quietly through the space, followed by a few soft clip-clops.
“What’s wrong with you?” A masculine voice asked from out of sight.
“A-Ah need some c-clothes, A-Ah t-too cold.” I hushed out, having trouble speaking from shivering.
“You’ll be fine, do you still have your summer coat of something?” His voice carried no concern for my coldness. Coat? Like fur? Like a dog?
“Fuck you Asshole! ‘Ave ya seen me? Ah’m ‘airless!” I shouted angrily. A clip-clip noise was the immediate response. I was soon greeted by the face of a white unicorn, with blue hair, leaning just into sight. “Der ya go, see,” his eyes opened a little wider.
“You are hairless!” he said in surprize before running away, and assuming from the metallic clanks, locking the hall.
“Really?” I said to the empty quiet room before me. I was alone for a few minutes, warming up very slightly, from not being on the ground any longer. I was still shivering and I could not feel my feet. The metallic sounds returned and a flurry of clips and clops echoed around.
The white unicorn leaned his head back into sight. “Hey d-dude, Sorry Ah w-was so r-rude. A-Ah’m just so c-cold.”
“I brought others with me, they are here to talk to you before we bring you clothes.” he said in a neutral tone. then after observing me for a few seconds he asked, “Why are you moving like that?”
“Ah NEED clothes. Dis is not for comfort.” I said in a defeated voice.
“I need you to lie, Atrox.” Celestia stated, stepping into view, her whole self, not like the white unicorn, with blue hair, that had just leaned into sight.
“Warm-p-th first.” The words shivered out of my mouth.
“Very well” and in a flash of light from her horn, I was warm. I felt my blood pulling warmth into my feet. My muscles stopped contracting sporadically for warmth. “Now, I need you to lie.”
“For what? Tah see if yo enchantment works? like a litmus test?” I heard a gasp as a response to what I said, from out of sight. It sounded familiar but I was not sure until it spoke. The gasp had pulled the attention of Celestia towards it.
“Did you say litmus test?” Twilight asked from out of sight, not stepping forward.
“Yes Twilight, litmus test, I mean it metaphorically.”
“Only scholars know what those are…” her voice trailed off before, “You remember me? by my voice alone?” Twilight asked stepping forward into view.
“Twilight, I need Atrox to do something for me.” Celestia cut off Twilight’s stream of thoughts.
“Two and two is five.” I rolled my eyes, mind you I’m still cupping my junk.
The white beast’s horn flashed red, and the same white beast gasped. “Twilight, set up the barrier.” In a flash I found myself in the purple bubble similar to the one from before, with the exception of it being much larger, allowing me to stand.
A few seconds later the bubble burst. I almost un-cupped my nuts to block the light. I was In an extremely well lite room. It was all whiteness for a bit. Blinking and looking around the room, it looked like a penthouse suite in an hotel.
Thinking I was alone I spoke to myself, “Well, Ah’m warm, but Ah nee’ clothes.” I was looking around and I quickly found the bed. I started to move towards it before a voice stole my attention.
“Why do you need clothes?” Twilight giggled from behind me.
I did not look back, instead I hurried to the bed and ripped off a sheet, hiding my body, lack of head, before turning and giving her a scowl. Her cheerful demeanor was robbed from her when she saw my face.
“You wouldn’t understand.” My tone was cold but not rude.
“Try me.” She found a challenge, something new to learn. A great smile adorned her face. It clicked in my mind, the very instant my brain interpreted what was said, she was what I call ‘Knowledge Hungry,’
“Okay, public nudity is a crime from where Ah’m from. If ya do it enough, you WILL be labeled crazy, unfit to look after yourself.” Twilight’s brow lifted, expressing the fact that her mind was processing information before it lowered.
“Why? Why is it a crime?” She asked in her soft, sweet voice.
“imagine, if you would, if your...people-”
“Ponies,” Twilight corrected.
“Right, Ponies, did not have any fur, you’d probably wear clothes all the time. right?”
“Right.” Twilight said, not seeing my point yet.
“Let me put it this way, How would you look shaved, hairless to the ponies around you? like in your daily life?” I said getting a little excited.
“They would think something terrible happened to my fur.” Twilight had a curious tone to her voice.
“Let’s say ya told them tha’ ya did it yaself, cuz you liked it.”
Twilight’s eyes went wide in comprehension. “They would think I’m crazy,” she hushed out.
“Now we’re cookin’ with fire.” Twilight’s face prompted me to speak more. “It’s an idiom.”
“Did you call me an idiot?” Twilight asked with an expression of disbelief.
“Oh lord no, Idiom, um, an expression.” I said waving my hands around under the sheet. Twilight perked up.
“You have a Lord?”
“What do you mean- NO! an ot’er expression, Is from superstition.” I then realized that I have to watch what I say, or suffer through an hundred or so questions. I did not want to talk about theology, and need to explain thousands of years of history. “Damn, Ah’m ‘ungry.” It was said mostly to myself.
Twilight looked nervous, “What?” I shot the question at her just a little hard.
“When you said you had a choice, did you mean, you were going to choose between eating me or spike? You said It wasn’t much of a choice.” She asked slowly, carefully choosing her words and a frown sullied her face.
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” I yelped in shock, so much for being carefull. “NO! ‘ell no. Ah ‘ardly believe you said that. No.”
“Well, you were wearing hide. I can ONLY assume you eat meat.” It was rather amusing to see this little horse thing roll its eyes at me.
“Go talk to Celestia ‘bout tha’. Ah really don’t want to ‘ave this conversation again. Food. Please. Ah feel as though I ‘avn’t eaten in days.” I began moving around the room inspecting the suite. I found a door and opened it, reaching and turning the knob through the plain white sheet. It was a bathroom. I shuffled inside leaving the door open and looked around. toilet, sink, and shower all had polished brass fixtures. White marble, with beautiful veins of grey, lined the room.
“And Ah’ll need my clothes back, I don’t need the hide ‘sept fur dem boots.” I called to Twilight through the open door.
“I will see what I can do,” Twilight gently spoke back.
“Ahmma shower to try to feel alive.” I said closing the door gently. Once the latch clicked I dropped the sheet and opened the glass door to the shower stall. The controls were pretty much the same, just flipped. Hot on the right. After a minute of fiddling I had a nice steamy stream coming down.
I’m not going to tell you much about the shower other than; I needed it and it felt great.
Stepping out of the stall, and feeling much better, I grabbed a towel from the bar near the toilet. What else do you do with a towel? I dried myself and wrapped it around my waist. A small knock on the door brought me to it and I cracked the door open and peered out. A small grey maid err, pony stood at the door with my bag on its back. “Hello Sir, I have brought your items.” she said in an unsure voice. I think it was the fact that I had only cracked the door enough to poke my head out.
“T’anks, pass it here. And, it’s not sir.” I stuck my hand out the door and made a small gesture to bring attention to my hand. She grabbed the bag with her mouth and passed it to my hand.
“I’m very sorry, Lady, please don’t be offended. I thought your were male.” She pleaded, looking up at me.
“You don’t understand. Ah’m male. I don’t like honourifics. I rather you call me Atrox.” The grey little pony smiled widely at me, blushing slightly.
“A-trox?” she asked gently, getting it right. I smiled pulling the bag into the bathroom, It felt lighter but honestly I was not concerned about that. After all, I’m a alien in and alien world, it is to be expected.
“Yeah, tha’s righ’,” she giggled at my statement and blushed even more so.
“I also have left you a meal.” She pointed behind her without looking, with her hoof.
“Cool, Ahmma get dressed now, see ya ‘round sim tim.” I said cheerfully and quickly. The little pony’s face conveyed incomprehension. “Ah’ll see you around some time,” I spoke slower and more carefully. The little grey pony’s metaphorical light bulb clicked on when I repeated myself.
She turned and began walking away looking back at me, “I hope to see you again, Atrox.” Her speech was strained from smiling too much, and her tone sounded bubbly.
“Oy, before ya rocket outa ‘ere, gimme yar name.” I quipped back quickly, before she could reach the door to beyond the suite.
“Octavia” She said smiling much too widely as she retreated through the wooden door, closing it behind her.
I closed the door of the bathroom and dug through my bag pulling out some clothes I’d hastily packed. Come on, you know what I did next. I stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed. My bag had not had my boots in it.
Wearing pants felt good, same with a warm plaid shirt. I shuffled around the the room in my socked feet, towards the short dresser, that had a shiny platter on it with a bowl, vase and a plate. Grass, flowers, and raw wheat respectfully filled the dishware. I shook my head and grabbed the platter, balanced it in my left hand. I went to the door and tried the latch. It opened and I soon found myself face to face with the white male unicorn, the one with the blue hair, before I could exit the room.
“What’s the matter?” He asked in a polite tone.
“Can you bring me to the kitchen? Ah regret tah inform ya da’ Ah canno’ eat dis.”
“What is wrong with it?” The polite tone remained.
“Not’ing, Ah jus’ canno’ eat it.”
“Just give me a minute, or two. Please, Don’t go anywhere.” He said in an authoritative manner before flashing away in a pop.
“Dick” I said outloud to the empty space that once contained a white unicorn dick. “Octavia!” I shouted down the hall in each direction on the off chance she was nearby. Well, It payed off, kinda. A bright pink pony head popped out of a nearby door.
“I’ll grab her for you” and it popped back into it’s room and slammed the door. Like ten or fifteen seconds later the grey pony was shoved out of the room by two bright pink legs, the door was promptly slammed shut, again. Octavia’s expression was one of bewilderment until she saw me, It then had a smile and a soft blush.
“Hey dare, can ya bring me to the kitchen?” I tilted my head towards the platter I was balancing.
“Whats-”
“Nope, to the kitchen. It’ll make sense then.” I cut her off sharply and immediately softened my tone.
“Okay, just this way.” She politely answered and gestured by pointing her nose in the direction of travel. It was not far at all, about a two minute walk. She took me through a service hallway and we soon made our way to the door of the kitchen.
“We aren’t really supposed to take guest to the kitchen” Octavia stated when we got to the door.
“Din worry ‘bout da’.” I pushed the door open and stroud in like I owned it. “[wh]’O ‘ere t’ought Ah’d eat grass?” All movement in the busy room halted, an half dozen workers stared at me. “Ah need a proper meal. Do you have eggs for eating? Bread? Fruit? Cake?” I was just naming random things.
“What’s-” one of the worker started.
“No!” I cut him off and gave myself a second to think. “My body canno’ ‘ave grass and flowers. Ah can ‘ave wheat, but it has to be ground and baked first. Ah am very ‘ungry. Jus’ let me cook sumpt’ing.”
“Umm-” the same worker started again.
“Sweet peppers, mushrooms, onions…” I listed off what I needed for a good stir-fry, minus any meat. To my astonishment the workers scrambled (no pun intended) around gathering the ingredients. I looked back to Octavia,she had a great smile, had her eyes closed and gently shook her head before backing out of the kitchen.
One worker boiled the rice for me, stirring it with it’s horn glowing the same colour as the spoon handle. I did the rest, quickly chopping the vegetables up. Slip, tink tink tink, pause. slip tink tink tink pause. I was very focused on slicing up my food, I did not even notice until I was done that the entire staff was staring at me. I was holding a bowl of chopped vegetables about to drop it in a large pan with some oil.
“Wha’?” I said becoming still.
“You did that so fast, and without magic.” Mr. rice said with his horn still glowing.
“Oh, It ‘appens” I shrugged and dumped the contents of the bowl in the pan. “‘Ow close is that rice, I wanna try to time it righ’.”
“Oh, give it ten? more minutes.” he’s voice was unsure.
“‘kay, medium flame please” I said to the closest worker. “Ah don’t know how to work this stove to stay on standby to adjust it.”
“Yes sir” the pony responded and her horn lit up along with a knob at the edge of the stove that I had not seen.
“Oh, a knob, Ah got dis. shoe, boot and stiletto heel.” The pony stared at me. “It’s a joke that means shoo.” The pony promptly went back to her previous task, I don’t know what she was doing.
A solid fifteen minutes later I had a big steaming bowl of vegetable stir-fry, with a spoon hanging out the side, In my hands. “Where is the dining room? or a good place to sit and eat?” I asked Mr. rice.
“Umm…” He tried to think.
“Too late, Ahmma leave and eat whilst explorin’. Ah’m sure Ah’m in trouble anyway.” I punctuated my statement by scooping up some of my meal into my mouth and exiting the kitchen doors before he could answer. I turned left and began walking and eating with no place in mind. I forgot salt, it would have been better with it but I was hungry and was good anyway.
I tried to eat slow, I really did. It did not turn out that way. After a few turns down random corridors I was finished with the food, walking with the empty metal bowl and spoon in hand, I heard a shout. “There he is!” Great, Dicky found me, along with two other ponies wearing golden shirts or something weird. I just paused and let them get up to me. “Where did you go?! I told you not to go anywhere!” He was a little angry.
“Did you try the kitchen? Ah cooked an [wh]ole meal dare.” I shoved the bowl and spoon towards him, one of the other ponies grabbed it.
He did the same sort of gesture with his hoof that Twilight did, like a face-plam, but with an hoof. “H-how did you get there?” He was no longer angry, but he was serious, unlike me.
“Well, if you were to look down,” I pointed at my feet and his eyes followed, “well, Ah walked.”
“Just follow me, you got somepony that wants to see you.” He turned and waited until I was at his side before walking.
“If’t’s Luna, tell her ‘No’,” I said falling into step next to the unicorn, whom stopped at my response. The other two continued onwards.
“She said it was important-”
“Ah’m mad at her.” I said sharply cutting him off from speaking. “Ah’d much rather see Twilight, see was cool.”
“She was what?!” He snapped back at me, giving me a death glare.
“Da fuck man?” I didn’t know what his problem was, the only time I’ve seen people snap like that is when it’s about their family. “Wha’ are ya, her brot’er or some shit?” I was only joking when I said that. His mouth opened, moved and shut again. “Jesus, Ah’m righ’, right?”
“Yeah, just let me bring you back your room. What do you mean about Twilight?” He asked politely this time and we began walking again.
“All Ah mean is that she was nice tah me, Ah’d like tah see her again.”
“Okay, that makes sense. Just-” I flicked him on the nose.
“Yeah, Ah know dat song an’ dance. Don’t mess wit’ her.”
“That was unnecessary, but as long as you got the message...” he paused and rubbed his nose. The walk was rather short, but it seemed very long. This dude said nothing else until we got the door of my suite.
“I’ll tell Twilight that you want to see her.” He said opening the door.
“Cool, ta.” I quickly retreated into the room and the door slammed behind me. “Dat dick, probably locked dem door now.” A quick check confirmed my suspicions, good thing the door opened into the room. I popped into the bathroom and popped out with my bag. I dug through it fiercely searching for a tool. And bingo was his name-o, I found my swiss army knife.
With the flathead tool piece, a dozen or so expletives, and a slightly bruised palm I had jimmied the pins out of the hinges. Remember kids, bottom hinge first. With the two pins in my pocket, I used my hands to pull on the brass hinges. It budged, then wouldn’t stop. I had to jump out of the way of the falling door. I heard the echos of the slam travel up and down the hall. With my work done I retreated to the bed with my bag and simply waited for Dicky’s tongue lashing.
I shifted through my items, the laptop was gone, my lighters, my other knives and any clothing that had leather or synthetic materials was missing. I think they may have missed my pocket knife, whoever ‘they’ are.
I was laying still for a few minutes, reviewing the last day or so in my head. ‘Fucking aliens’ was the summary of my thoughts on the matter. I sat up rather quickly and grabbed my shoulder, ‘I thought I hurt this’ I said internally. My questions and concerns were ripped away from me when the shouting began.
“NO! No No No! Where is he?” Dicky shouted in frustration, I couldn’t see him but I’m sure he saw the door.
“Yo, Dick-breath. Ah’m right here.” I jumped to my feet and he stormed into the room. A familiar giggle stopped him in his tracks.
“Yeah, you really outdid yourself Shiney. You sure made it so he wouldn’t wander off,” Twilight said brimming with sarcasm, strolling into the room. “Next time you might want to tie him up.”
“Oo, Ah migh’ like dat.” I quipped at the pair, earning myself some confused looks. “Ne’er mind, t’was nada bu’ a joke.”
Twilight came strolling past “Shiney,” confidently, up to me. “What up Twilight?” She stopped in her tracks and looked upwards. “Ah mean what is going on with you? Is a greetin’.” I quickly clarified for her.
“Oh, I just had a talk with Celestia,” I grumbled at the mention of the great white beast, “And we have come up with a plan of how to help you.”
“So you can send me ‘ome?” I gained a bit of hope.
“No, we do know how you got here but the knowledge to send you home is lost.” Twilight spoke sadly.
“Oh, well, ‘owed Ah get ‘ere?” I asked. “No, wait. Are ya sure Ah cannot get ‘ome?”
“We are sure. I am so sorry Atrox. The mage that performed the spell has been missing for a thousand years.” Twilight spoke very somberly.
“A t’ousand years?” I repeated back, unsure of what I had just heard.
“Yes Atrox, he’s been missing for a long time.” Twilight clarified for me.
“Missing? For a t’ousand years? Why not jus’ say he’s dead?” I almost snapped at her.
“Well, nopony knows what has happened to him.”
“A t’ousand years? He’d be dust by now.” I stated, crossing my arms.
“Well, I’m going to go talk to Luna. Twi, you gunna be okay with this… thing?”
“Yeah sure,” Twilight said in an extremely dismissive tone not even looking at the source of the question, before the great white dick sulked out of the room. “Why would you say he’s dust?”
“So let me get this straight, Ah have no way of returning home and the one err, pony, tha’ possibly could is no longer around, but Ah only missed him by about ten centuries?”
“Umm, yes…” Twilight knew it was not what I wanted to hear, I just sighed after she spoke.
“Well Fuck.” I said to noone in particular. I stepped to the bed and flopped down on it face first. After a moment I rolled onto my back and stared at the white ceiling. “Well, what shoul’ Ah do now?”
“Oh Atrox, I mentioned a plan, I am going to do my very best to help you out. I want you to know I’ll be here for you.” Twilight spoke in a very compassionate voice, I assume trying to comfort me.
“Okay, wha’s teh plan?” I was upset, justly so, I continued staring at the ceiling.
“I’m just awaiting for the approval, from Luna.-” My head shot off the bed quickly enough to cut Twilight off.
“Luna? No not her.” I pleaded.
“What? Why?”
“Not’ing, Ah jus’ really want not’ing to be doing with her.” As my statement concluded a pop and flash occurred in the room. It had shocked me but simply pulled Twilight’s attention towards the new figure in the room.
“That is just the answer I hoped for.” Celestia spoke kindly.
“Jesus, knocking is nice.” Twilight and I spoke at the same time.
“Hello Celestia” Guess who said what.
“Oh well, I was just so excited, I couldn’t wait to let you know that you passed.” Celestia said beaming.
“Past? Whad Ah pass?”
“Well, Atrox, you were a complete unknown and you showed signs of being possibly dangerous. You have passed, that is to say that, you have no intention to cause harm and even whilst the anger had you.” Celestia relayed this to me like a teacher would.
“Yeah, Ah gots pretty anger.” I said out of nervousness.
“No Atrox, I have never seen such anger before without its host being lost.” Celestia said in a somber tone.
“Wha’ ya mean host?” I did not understand.
“Well, without you knowing of magic it will be a moot point to explain.” Celestia said dismissively. “The point I am trying to make is that despite your large potential for violence you have not gone to said extreme. Even while... enraged. Instead of wanting to confront Luna for her transgressions, you what nothing to do with her.”
“Wha’ does passing mean for me?”
“It means that Twilight’s plan is approved!” Celestia cheerfully said.
“An’ she hasn’t told me anyt’ing yet.”
“Then by all means, Twilight.” Celestia’s horn lite up in a flash leaving me and Twilight to deal with the pop.
“Twilight, Wha’s yer plan?”
