We begin on a warm, bright day in July where you will see a teenager aged about 14 hunting out in the woods with his trusty Rifle. He is interrupted by a rather large log, where he promptly sees a large deer. He puts his Rifle barrel on the log and fires a shot, hitting the rather large buck right in the lung. Victorious, he proceeds to get a camouflage Kubota out of seemingly thin air, while also making a path for it too! He hauls the deer slowly into the Kubota, then gets into the front seat and takes off toward a small brick house, where his dad is waiting to skin the deer and put the meat into jars and can the rather large amount of venison.
"Dad, i got a deer, we're gonna eat good tonight!" He says. My dad comes out of the house, a short man about 5'5. "Dang, boy, that's a big deer!" he replied to me. "I caught a 200 pound fish, i'm pretty sure i can shoot a deer!" I said. " Also, i've been thinking, since i can make anything appear out of thin air at any given moment, i might go traveling to a much better hunting spot with a shotgun, and go hunting for real and bring back a real prize, maybe some kind of mythological beast!". He seems not to be too keen on the idea, but after some talk, he will let me go hunting. "Dont worry dad, ill come back because i have a good guard, and the ability to make an AK-47 out of nothing! I might be a while because ill be bringing back quite a load!". This boy is named Andrew, by the way, and little did he know his life would be changed very soon.
**2 HOURS LATER**
It is around 4:00 by now and there is a portal in the front lawn. I slowly set up the portal, but i do everything slowly, so that isn't big. I calibrate it to a place that is good for hunting. I turn and wave back to dad." I'll be back! ", i say back to him, and walk into the portal.
I now stand still in this new world, completely surrounded by a multitude of bright, friendly colors in the middle of an open field, shotgun in hand. Out in the distance, i see a small middle-age looking village. Since i have no idea where in the universe i am, i start walking through the field, towards the village. Walking towards the village, i start to notice moving pieces of bright colors. I walk a bit faster and they are small and brightly colored...ponies?
I slowly put away the weapon in fear of scaring these little creatures, and gingerly stroll into town, avoiding the looks of What-The-Heck-Is-That-Thing looks. Everything is fine until i am grounded by a rainbow maned equine with wings, who wants to legitimately kill me. I know this because she is holding a dirk in her hoof, yes, in her hoof. Lord knows how its possible, but anyways. i quickly pull out the shotgun and cock it with a loud noise, alerting some bystanders. the blue equine with the knife says"Hah! what're you gonna do with that thing". I proceed to point it at a sign and blast the sign to little splinters and slowly cock it again while pointing it at her chest. She quickly drops the knife and kicks it towards me, cowering in fear of her head being put on the ground in pieces. "Don't worry, ill replace the sign.". I put away the gun and ponies start backing away, some getting behind walls. I motion the blue Pegasus to follow me, and it follows with a straight face. I tell her where i need to go to talk to someone smart here. She then leads me to a huge palace in the shape of a tree and walks in, with me in tow.
She trots up to a purple winged horned pony, and tells what she knows about me and says that he wanted to see you. This hybrid pony walks up to me and comes up about to my waist. "Hello! We've never seen something like you here before, would you mind telling us a little about yourself?". "Sure, i am a human male by the name of Andrew, i am from the state of North Carolina, the USA, a country of the north american continent, of the planet Earth, of the Milky way Galaxy". Her already big as a saucer eyes grow even bigger with interest, which kind of scares me because i fear for her eyes popping out of their sockets! She then wants to know everything about me, so i conjure two armchairs and place them on the ground.
After a long Q+A session with this "Alicorn" she called herself, sshe just wanted to know one more thing, which was if there was any bad violence in our world. I sat there and thought "Should i tell them about 9/11"...
Well, i did. Big mistake. One hour and an expensive drainage system later, we got to the end of the story. these ponies had a lot of tears, i even made the cheeriest one of the group, a fluffy haired pink regular pony, start bawling.
To be continued...
**IN CASTLE**
Today, we find our little friend in twilight's castle, right after discussing his life and human life and...terrorism.
"So, ponies, do you know of a place where i can hunt for animals with my gun, I'm trying to get something big and strange, like something big and bad, where can i find something of this type?" i ask. "There are some animals in The Everfree Forest, but i don't think fluttershy wants you to kill anything!" Twilight says. I turn around to see the butter colored mare staring into my very soul, so, out of instinct, i back away, because i dont like my soul stared into like she was! I start walking towards the door and finally get to it. when i open the door, there is a crowd of about a hundred ponies wearing armor facing me with spears.
I slowly as nothing pull out 2 Desert Eagles and put them in front of me. These guards aren't gonna take me anywhere without a big fight. One of the more brave ones pokes me in the chest with the pointy end of a spear, which doesn't hurt because I'm now wearing a suit of Kevlar. He speared me so i punched him, in the face,kinda hard. He drops to the ground and all the others start fighting with me and I'm blasting them left and right! These guns have infinite ammo and no recoil so i can keep firing without interruptions. For their sake, I'm not killing them, I'm only going for their knees. After this fight they are all on the ground, and i spawn a dirtbike and start heading for the forest.
I finally get to the forest and slowly drive into it. I'm driving for about 10 minutes when i hear a large growl, and turn to see a manticore of all things heading straight for me! Quickly, i pull out the shotgun and blast it in the neck, with a burst of blood. It stops in its tracks and looks down at its now bleeding profusely neck, and slowly sinks to the ground. When this happens, i despawn the dirtbike and spawn a full size off-road Ford F-150. Then i spawn a portal back to the human world and, with the beast in tow, drive into said portal.
I arrive back in the human world right where i went in, in my front yard. I see my dad come outside and look wide eyed at the beast I've killed. "Dang boy, that is one ugly son of a gun!" he says. I reply with "yes, and very easy to kill with a gun! I've found a world of ponies and am going to gather some friends up and go back there and probably live there part time and have fun and help them have weapons and such!". so, I go to my friend, who we will call bob. Bob is my age, and he will probably want to be with me in wars in this world. Me and bob get in a Corvette and i spawn a portal to Equestria and drive in it.
Once we are in the world, i realize immediately that something is wrong. Me and bob are now invisible and walk into town, and see tons of flyers with my face on them and above it says WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE FOR MURDER
