Life of the Party

by Ori

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3082

Pina Colada is not having a good night; spontaneous transformations tend to cause that.

Hi, I'm Pina Colada, and I'm a pony.
And a pinata.
It's complicated.

Let me just tell you one thing. Do NOT eat sandwiches with blue flowers in them. EVER.

Published 2015-09-12 06:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-13 23:18:10 UTC

Pinata Colada

My name is Pina Colada. I run a pretty notable club with my two brothers, located in Manehatten. My special talent is drink making, so obviously I run the bar. My brothers deal with the business side of things.

Currently, we were at home, which was packed to the brim with family. Our parents had been coming to visit, so we figured we'd just invite our other close relatives to join us. After all, this kind of thing was our forte, so it made sense. But of course, things couldn't possibly go smoothly, could they?

I stumbled through the party, trying my best not to bump into anypony as I made my way towards my brother, Red Wine. As much as I was enjoying the family get together, my stomach felt like it was going to jump out of my chest and stab me with my ribcage. Which, let me tell you, sucks.

I finally reached the place he was sitting. Reaching out, I tapped him on the shoulder with my hoof.

"Hey, Red?" My brother turned to look at me, grin plastered across his face. He held a glass of wine in his hooves, as he'd been chatting with a relative.

"Yeah? What's up Pina?" I felt my stomach gurgle, and let out a little groan.

"I'm... not feeling too good. I think the sandwich I ate earlier decided it did not want to agree with me. I might turn in for tonight." He bit his lip.

"Ah, dang. Alright, if you really want to. I guess it's not super early or anything. Can you tell me where you stashed the pinata at least, before you doze off? I kinda need to know, we're bringing it out soon." I cringed, as my gut almost seemed to turn inside out.

"Uh, yeah, it's in the closet in our room. Should be right in the front. Urgh..." I clutched my chest, in a vain attempt to soothe the ache. He nodded, grinning again. He patted me on the back, and gave me a little push towards the stairs.

"Alright, thanks. Get some rest sis, hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow." I nuzzled him, before trotting up the steps. Making my way down the hall, I shut the door behind me, flopping onto the bed. The pain in my stomach hadn't gotten any better, but at least being somewhere quiet was helping my pulsating headache.

"Oh Celestiaaaaaaa... WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUUUUCHHHH..." Groaning, I smooshed my muzzle into the pillow, hoping that sleep would take a hold of me before the ache got any worse. The next 20 minutes consisted of me twisting and flipping back and forth, trying to ignore the growing sensation in my torso. I finally let out an angry grunt, turning my body to stare at the ceiling. It was at about this time that I realized that something had changed. My stomach had stopped hurting... but at the same time, I felt... hollow. Like, literally empty. Sitting up, I looked down at my chest. What I saw, both confused and scared me.

In the center of my chest, was a circle in my fur made of paper flaps. It reminded me of something, but I couldn't remember what. I poked at it with my hoof, before I realized something terrifying; it was spreading.

"Ok, no, that is... NOT OK." I struggled to my hooves, and off the bed. By the time I had, it had already spread to my forelegs. "No, no, no. NO." Before I could protest more to what was going on, I was knocked to my knees by a tingling sensation all over my body. Squeezing my eyes shut, I attempted to deal with the feeling of my entire body seeming to reform into some other material. After a few seconds, it was over, but I also realized that something was very, very wrong.

I felt lighter. Like, as light as cardboard, which wasn't a very comforting thought. As I tried to stand, my whole sense of balance felt off. I also heard something in my torso make a shaking sound, which I'm pretty sure isn't normal. I used the bed and wall to support myself, as I made my way over to the dresser so that I could get a look at myself.

Lighting up my horn, I stared into the reflection; and nearly fainted. I was completely made of what looked like paper. I rubbed my face, and pushed up some of the flaps; underneath was a thin layer of cardboard.

A pinata. That's what I looked like. No wonder that patch had seemed familiar earlier.

"Well... uh...... UMMM....." My breath got quicker and quicker until It seemed like I was going to hyperventilate.

And then I passed out.

I jolted awake. I heard my brother on the other side of the door. He must be coming up to get the PINATA OH RIGHT.

I scrambled to my hooves, panicked. I didn't want anypony seeing me like this, there was no possible way I could explain what was going on.
'GOTTA HIDE GOTTA HIDE' I stumbled over to the closet, pulling the door open with my magic, which thankfully still worked. Pushing aside the objects inside, I closed it behind me. Just as I did, I heard the door to the room open slowly. He was trying to be quiet, I suppose, as he probably thinks I'm asleep in the bed. I'll have to thank him for that later, AFTER HE LEAVES AND I GET THIS MESS SORTED OUT. Except, at that exact moment, I realize my mistake. He's coming TO THE CLOSET TO GET THE PINATA. 'Stupid, stupid, STUPID!'

I hear him getting closer, and I quickly formulate a plan. I scoot to the left side of the closet, stand up straight, and cast a light petrification spell on myself to make sure I don't move. If I'm lucky, he'll just think I'm another thing in the closet, grab the pinata, and leave. It's not a very good plan, but it's really the only choice I have if I don't want to be seen.

He pulls open the door with his hooves, and I notice that the lights are still off. That's right, he thinks I'm sleeping. I see him try to find the Pinata among the mess, before, unfortunately, his eyes settle on me. I wait for him to start laughing, or freak out, but all he does is smile lightly, and take hold of me with his hooves. He lifts me off the ground; which proves to be extremely easy with the material I was now composed of; as my mind starts racing. I hear something shake inside my torso, which I would like to believe is not candy. He completely ignores the actual pinata, closing the door, and making his way out of the room with me in tow. 'Oh no, he thinks I'M the pinata; I told him it was in the FRONT, DANG IT!' This was bad. Very bad. I couldn't move, but I was about to also be in an even worse situation if I didn't do something, NOW.

He carried me downstairs, the probably candy shaking around in my sideways body. I see a bunch of the fillies and colts gathered, excited looks on their faces. They have never been more terrifying. He reaches the spot where the pinata setup was, and places me down on the ground. I try moving my stiff limbs, to no avail. Why did I think this was a good idea. I see him turn to the children with a grin on his face.

"Who's ready to SMACK the candy out of this thing!" Their cheers sounded more like war cries to me. I scanned my mind for any possible spells that could get me out of here, but the other spell I'd cast had already taken too much out of me to attempt a teleport. I felt a rope being tied around my torso, before I was hoisted into the air. Panic was really starting to set in now. I was starting to not care about being found out, I was more concerned about being BROKEN IN HALF.

The spell still hadn't worn off, but it was getting close. I could feel myself start to regain feeling in my paper hooves. Unfortunately, I was so consumed in my own thoughts, that I'd missed the fact that there was now a filly blindfolded, who was now swinging a slightly intimidating stick RIGHT AT ME. Before I could try stopping her with my magic, she clocked me right in the snout, sending me twirling on the rope. I would have yelped if my mouth was working. I span and span, unable to concentrate on anything that was going on, before the stick smacked straight into me again, this time in my midsection. I felt a large amount of pain spring up from that spot, as I heard a *crack*ing noise. I would have liked to think It was the stick that broke, but I highly doubted it. The second hit had sent me spinning even faster, until the rope had twirled so much that it stopped, and started going the OTHER WAY. I was so dizzy by this point that I couldn't think straight in the slightest. Everything was a blur, from the kids cheering, to the colors of my surroundings. I felt a third hit get landed, this one right near where the second one. I felt something fall out of me, but I was too in pain to really think about it.

And suddenly, the spell wore off. I felt my whole body slump, before I started flailing around in pain. My everything was hurting, I think I was bleeding candy, and I was currently a pinata on a rope being smacked by my cousins.

"LET ME DOWN AND PLEASE STOP HITTING ME IT HURTS A LOT OK" I summoned all of my magical energy, and used it to form a sharp enough magic blade to cut the string suspending me in the air. I dropped to the ground, and felt one of my hooves crack under the weight of my body. My brain was unable to take any more, and I simply blacked out.

Author's Note

A cute little idea I actually couldn't find anywhere. It may seem a little dark(?) right now, but it'll probably lighten up in the chapters to come.

Hang(up)over

I groaned, my eyes slowly fluttering open. They were met with a lot of light, so I squeezed them shut again. I heard somepony move next to me.

"Oh, you're awake!" I slowly opened my eyes again, this time prepared. Red was sitting over me, a concerned look on his face. Focusing my gaze on my hoof, which I lifted out from under the covers of the bed I was in, I noted that it seemed to be connected to my foreleg. Which is usually a good thing, even as a living pinata. On examining it closer, I saw that it seemed to be attached to the leg with a piece of tape.

"Red? What... happened?" He rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, after you... ahem, spazed out, we all took a closer look. I noticed how much you looked like my sister, and how much that voice sounded like her. So I put the pieces together... and yeah. I had Dad bring you upstairs, along with the candy that fell out of your body. We placed it back in through the broken hoof, and taped up any of the holes that had opened. The party kinda just ended after that. Everypony went home, and we went to bed." I rubbed my eye, yawning.

"So it's the morning then?" He nodded.

"Yeah. It's almost noon, we were getting worried you might not wake up." He sighed, leaning on his hoof. "Pina, what happened? Why are you..." He gestured to my whole body. I tried sitting up, my left side aching. He helped me.

"I don't know...? I just went upstairs last night, and it happened like 20 minutes later. Then I think I fainted, and woke up when you came in. You know what happened from that point on..." Looking down at where it hurt, I saw more tape patching up a crack in my side. I poked it, only to make myself flinch. "Where's White? Downstairs?" He nodded.

"Yeah, he's eating. We've all taken shifts watching you." I heard a growling noise, which I noted came from his stomach. He blushed.

"You haven't eaten yet, have you?" He shook his head. I smiled, ruffling his hair with my hoof. "Go get some food, I'll be fine. I'll head down in a minute, and then we can figure... this out." He frowned.

"Are you sure you'll be ok?" I rolled my eyes.

"Look, I can still do magic, and sort of walk. I'm sure I can make it down some steps." He pouted, getting off the bed. "Go, go now." He stuck his tongue out at me, before trotting out.

I groaned, flopping down on the bed; the candy inside me shook around, reminding me of my current predicament. Rolling onto my stomach, I pushed myself up; only to feel a jolt of pain shoot from my hoof through my body. I yelped, taking the weight off that leg, I looked at it, noting it was the leg with the broken hoof.

"Well, isn't that just great..." I used the bed, and then the wall, to pull myself over to the door. "Who needs four legs anyway..." Using my magic to open the door, I limped out into the hall, and carefully descended the stairs. It was certainly a task, but I managed. I heard White's voice from the other room.

"-and you're sure she's fine?" I made my way towards their conversation, finally entering the dining room. Red was sitting across from White, both eating cereal. As soon as I stepped through the doorway, all eyes were on me. White suppressed a grin.

"Oh, hey... PINATA." He snorted, getting a glare from Red. He elbowed him, coughing. White just rolled his eyes, as I pulled myself over to the table. "As funny as this is, I guess I should still apologize. That poison joke sandwich I gave you yesterday had much more of an effect than I thought it would." As I reached the table and took a seat, I looked at him, raising my eyebrow.

"Ok... I don't know what poison joke is, but what I'm getting from this is that this is all your fault. Which means I'm going to kill you." He held his hooves up, suppressing the urge to laugh more.

"Poison joke is just a little prank plant, you'll be fine, don't worry. There's a cure and everything. I just thought it would be kind of funny to see what it would happen. Still... PINATA COLADA! That's GENIUS!" He burst out giggling like a little filly. "Priceless!" Red sighed, leaning into his hooves.

"Anyway... he told me when I came down, because apparently once he knew you were fine he was fine admitting it. All we have to do is head over to a town named Ponyville to get the cure, some spa has it there." I folded my forelegs on the table, placing my head on them.

"So by that, you mean WHITE is going over to Ponyville to get it before something actually does happen to me?" Both of us looked at him, before he shook his head.

"Actually, no. It's a treatment they have there. You'll have to go over there yourself." My eye twitched.

"You mean... I need to go out in PUBLIC, like THIS?" He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. I lifted my head up, shaking it profusely. "NO. NO WAY am I walking around town like this!" He shrugged, that stupid grin on his face.

"Oh well. Hope you like being a walking party favor." I groaned, slamming my head into the table. He was going to pay for this, oh yes.
"Why... WHY MEEEE!"

Red and I stood at the front door, as I anxiously tapped my hooves together. The two of us were going to head to Ponyville to get the cure, while White would run the club and such while we were gone. He had complained, but this was his fault in the first place, and he was overruled 2 to 1.

I looked at Red, pouting. "Do we REALLY need to do this?" He sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"I wish we didn't have to. But we obviously do." I frowned, fiddling with my broken hoof.

"But I can't even walk right at the moment! And I'll no doubt attract the attention of literally everypony. Come onnnnnn..." White poked his head around the corner to look at us.

"Well, you don't actually HAVE to walk, you know." The two of us looked at him, confused. He just grinned. "You could just have Red carry you; like, pretend to be an actual pinata. It'd probably save you on train fare too." My eyes widened, and I immediately shook my head.

"NUH UH. NOPE. I'm not getting hauled around like some object! Are you crazy?!" He shrugged.

"Well you ARE a pinata right now. You technically are an object. A walking, talking one, but an object nonetheless. And otherwise you'll have to limp your way all the way over to the station, with everypony staring. It's your choice, I was just trying to help." I blew him a rasberry, before Red placed a hoof on my shoulder.

"Pina... he has a point. It would probably be a lot easier that way, and you're really light right now. I could carry you without much trouble..." I groaned.

"Don't tell me you're taking his side now!" He frowned.

"No, I'm just being realistic. And I don't know why you'd mind so much, this would be more extra work for me than you anyway." He turned towards the door. "Come on, just let me carry you to the station, at least. You can decide what you want to do from there." I looked at the ground, grumbling.

"Ghh... fine. It's going to be a pain trying to stay still that long though..." I trotted towards him, mumbling to myself. "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this..."