Love Can Be 20% Cooler Too, You Know

by Eggtaro

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Original Character, Rainbow Dash
Length: 3283

With only a week left before the Fall Formal, one young man must overcome the hardships and difficulties involved in finding a date to invite to the dance. Will he be able to find his date? Or will he fail, and cry like a little bitch?

Despite the "problem" at the last Fall Formal, the students at Canterlot High still find the annually-held event enjoyable; the Fall Formal was one of the few events that gave students the chance to properly enjoy a night of partying, dancing, and eating delicious food.

Not to mention that the event was also a good opportunity for asking someone out. For one young man in particular, his final year at Canterlot High would also mean that this was his last Fall Formal, and never has he ever asked anyone to go with him to the Fall Formal before. Because he's a pussy.

However, he firmly told himself that this year, his last year in Canterlot High, was going to be different. Determined, and with his somewhat strong resolution carved deep into his heart. The young man vowed that he would, at long last, find a girl to go with him to the Fall Formal dance. Never again would he go alone to these events any more --- single, lonely, and forgotten. The young man was sick of it all. He wants to find a date to the Fall Formal. Perhaps a date that might last longer than a single night of dancing?

Yeah, so, this story is like, based in the Equestria Girl's unvierse, so like, yeah, there you go. Also, even though there is a "sex" tag tagged on the story, rest assured, the only "sex" you'll be reading from this story is the boring kind --- no explicit content, no over-the-top ding-dongs, and no tubs and tubs of male reproductive fluids gushing all over female bodies. Just...boring sex talks from teenagers.

Cover art done by the cool MisterBrony from deviantart!

Published 2015-09-13 18:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-13 18:20:02 UTC

Day 10

Couples.

Couples everywhere. No matter where Banana Peel went, he'd always find himself surrounded by them. It's as if they were following him on purpose, waiting for the perfect time to taunt and make fun of him; the single-boy, the lonely-boy, the boy-without-a-lover.

Every time Banana sees a couple pass by he'd just wish that he has a screwdriver with him so that he can gouge his eyeballs out from its sockets; seeing people so happily in love pisses him off. It was a sickening feeling, and Banana Peel hated that feeling; the feeling of being all alone without someone to love, or date, or go out with. He was envious of all those happy little couples, laughing away together, with their arms around each other's shoulders.

Banana wants love. And he wants it bad.

Even at school Banana was never free from the constant wave of couples walking past him. Even his juniors seemed to have more luck than him when it comes to love-searching.

"Why can't I experience it too?" Banana muttered to himself, staring at his untouched feta cheese salad, moving the contents around with a plastic fork. "Why can't I find a girlfriend?" he muttered again, but louder.

"Because you're a pussy?"

Banana lifted his head and glared at his best-friend, Spearmint, with angry eyes. "Who are you calling a pussy?" he challenged.

"I'm calling you a pussy, my sad pathetic friend!" Spearmint replied, grinning smugly at Banana. "We all know perfectly well that you don't have the balls to ask a girl out."

"T-That's not true!" Banana said, but the stutter in his voice betrayed his statement. "I-I have b-balls!"

"Balls that would never be used, I'm afraid." Spearmint took a bite from his lunch --- an apple. "This is our last year in the great Canterlot High School, but you, my lonely friend, have yet to find a girlfriend." he swallowed, and took another bite. "Let's not forget, the Fall Formal is in a week or so too. And everyone that is going is gonna bring a date --- a date you don't have yet."

"But that's all going to change, Spearmint!" Banana said, dropping his plastic fork on the cafeteria table. "I vowed to make a difference this year!" It was true. Banana was determined to make a difference this year. He was sick and tired of all the love-birds that flocked the grounds of Canterlot High. It was his turn to join them now. It was his time.

"You'd said that like a million times since this semester started, and I still haven't seen any 'difference'." Spearmint said, shaking his head.

"W-Well that's b-because I was too busy with o-other stuff."

"Like complaining?" Spearmint asked, raising an eyebrow. "and moaning on and on about how you don't have a girlfriend?" Spearmint sighed. "Just admit it, Banana, all you did was talk; nothing's changed at all."

Banana opened his mouth, ready to argue, but he quickly decided against it and shut his mouth. Spearmint was right; Banana had been telling Spearmint his plan on getting a girlfriend, or at least, a date to go with him to the Fall Formal. But all of those talks were just what they were in the beginning; talks and nothing more. Banana didn't really make any effort to find a girl to date. He wanted to, but he'd always make up an excuse not to do it.

"You're right, Spearmint." he admitted, sighing softly. "All I've been doing is complaining non-stop."

"And you damn nearly caused a haemorrhage in my ears too." Spearmint said, nodding. "I've lost count on how many times you'd tell me about your 'master-plan' --- only to see it burst into agonizing flames of despair and disappointment."

"Alright, alright. I get it, okay? You can stop pulling me down now." Banana groaned. "What am I going to do, man? This is our final year; we're seniors now, and we'll be leaving this school soon. I want to make some good memories before I leave, you know?"

"We already made plenty of awesome memories, dude." Spearmint said, pointing at Banana and back to himself. "The only memories you currently don't have, are the ones with girls crawling all over your body."

"That's what I meant, you dick." Banana growled. "No need to go reminding me how alone I am."

Spearmint held up his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, chill man. I'm just messing with ya."

"I just don't understand why I can't ask anyone out." Banana said, picking up his plastic fork. "I mean, it's not like I have a problem chatting with chicks in the first place." he poked a piece of lettuce with his fork.

"Dude," Spearmint started. "You have got to understand the difference between 'chatting' and 'asking-a-chick-out'." he leaned closer towards Banana. "Listen to me; anyone can talk to anyone as long as they have the guts, and balls to do so; we're not talking about rocket science you know. We're talking about talking!"

"You're confusing me, dude."

"That's because you're an idiot."

"Screw you, man."

"Look." Spearmint said, grabbing Banana on the shoulders. "Let us not waste any more time arguing about who's stupid and who's not. Right now we have something more important at hand." he tighten his grip on Banana's shoulders. "We need to help find you a date before Fall Formal comes rolling over."

"And how do you suggest we do that?" Banana asked, freeing himself from Spearmint's grasp. "If you haven't already forgotten, I have no balls, remember?"

Spearmint gasped loudly, and stared at Banana with fearful eyes. "Do you really?" he asked, eyes wide.

"W-What? No, of course not!"

"Just checking, man." chuckled Spearmint. "Anyway, seeing that I am your best-friend in this entire school, I have already thought of a plan to help you get a date before Fall Formal."

Banana raised an eyebrow. "Since when were you my 'best-friend'? And why are you only offering me help now?" he asked.

"To answer your first question: since forever; we've known each other since our kindergarten days, man. We've been through so much crap together, we're practically brothers. And, to answer your second question: because I feel that, if I don't help you, you might spend this year's Fall Formal either alone, or at home crying, and eating an entire tub of strawberry ice-cream."

Banana couldn't help but smile at his friend's response. Spearmint was indeed, his best-friend; he could always count on Spearmint whenever he needed help, or solutions to a hard mathematics question. If it weren't for Spearmint, he might still be the old, sad, cry-baby he was many years ago. "Why strawberry?"

"I saw it inside your freezer." Spearmint said, waving his hand at Banana. "Look, do you want my help or not?"

"At this stage? I could use all the help I could get, man."

"Good. Now, I have a huge list here, filled with names of potential chicks you could ask to go to the Fall Formal with you." Spearmint pulled out a small piece of paper from his front shirt pocket and handed it to Banana. "Take a look."

Banana stared at the tiny piece of paper. "This is huge? What is this? A list for ants?" he squinted his eyes to get a better look at the paper. "There's only like six names here!"

"Names that you should do very well to remember, my dear friend! For they are vital to this mission!"

"What happened to that huge list of names you were just telling me?" Banana asked, baffled.

"I just said that for emphasis purposes only." Spearmint shrugged. "Look, the market for babes are slowly dwindling; every second we waste here talking about it, the faster these chicks get taken away. However, these names you see here ---" he prodded the paper Banana was holding "--- are the names of the only girls I am positive no one has asked out yet."

Banana scanned the names listed on the small piece of paper. "Is there a particular reason why they haven't been asked out by anyone yet?"

"We'll go through them, one-by-one." Spearmint said, motioning at him with his hand. "Who's the first one?"

Banana read the first name listed. "Sunset Shimmer."

"Ah...Sunset Shimmer." Spearmint closed his eyes, as if visualizing the girl in his mind. "The former she-demon back during the Fall Formal, two years ago."

"Yeah, wasn't she the one that cause all of us to become her zombie minions? Something about wanting absolute power?"

"Almost destroyed the school too, if I'm not mistaken." Spearmint said, eyes still closed. "But thanks to some magical interference from a chick from another world, everything went back to normal --- and the dance still proceeded without any further demonic influences."

"So, why she's on the list?"

"Well, for starters, Sunset Shimmer is the current lead singer of the Rainbooms, and a good guitarist." Spearmint said. "She helped defeat the Dazzlings during the Battle of the Bands last year, remember that one?"

"Oh yeah," Banana said, recalling the incident. "The Battle of the Bands --- who could forget that crazy event?"

"We would've turned into something far worse if it weren't for her and the Rainbooms. The way they battled it out with the Dazzlings --- simply mesmerizing. That magical transformation she had was stunning."

"Pony ears, wings, and magical beams shooting all over the place? Yeah, really stunning, man." Banana said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "I still don't get why she's on the list."

Spearmint opened his eyes. "Because she's a babe, man! Ever since the Battle of the Bands, almost every guy in school has been trying to win over her heart! Sunset's an absolute beauty, and she has the brains of a genius!"

"So?"

Spearmint gave Banana a look as if he had offended him. "Did you not see that hot body of hers? Those magnificent round tits of hers?"

"W-What?"

"Sunset's like the perfect woman every guy could possibly ask for, dude! Brains, body, and breast!" Spearmint closed his eyes and hummed to himself. "Man, if I get the chance to do her---"

"Okay! Okay! I get it, dude. Sunset Shimmer is hot and smart!"

"The perfect human being." Spearmint mumbled.

"Er...I wouldn't agree on the 'human' part."

"Whatever." Spearmint waved his hand. "What matters is that she's still single, and no one has asked her to the dance yet."

"I thought you just said almost every dude in this school is trying to ask her out?" Banana asked. "Wouldn't that mean a lot of competition?"

"They are." Spearmint said. "But, according to my connections, they told me that she really isn't into dating at the moment for some reason, and that she's been making it really obvious to whichever dude that tries to hit on her." Spearmint scratched his chin. "In other words, those that try will only get friend-zoned by her."

"And what makes you think I have a chance?"

"I don't think you have a chance at all. You'll just have to try and see what happens." Spearmint said with a shrug. "Who knows, she might pity you and agree to go out with you; if you cry pathetically enough, of course."

"Your faith in me is astounding." Banana said, rolling his eyes.

"I try, my friend. I try." Spearmint glanced at the paper. "Who's next?"

"Rarity."

"Oho! The lady with the goddess-tier tits! She is sophisticated as she is beautiful. One of toughest girls to impress, and also the hardest to ask out." Spearmint said, smiling gleefully. "Her snowy-white skin will melt even the coldest of men's hearts. And those eyes, man, those eyes of hers are truly like a sparkling gem." Spearmint shuddered. "But those tits of hers --- those tits are the ones that will make any man faint with a stream of blood constantly flowing out their noses."

"Your way of describing girls in our school are starting to worry me." Banana said, staring at his friend. "If anyone but me heard you talk like that, they'll send you to jail, man, like forever." he added.

"--- truly a hidden gem in our school," Spearmint continued talking, oblivious to what Banana had just said. "You could said that she is indeed...a rarity."

"...and he's ignoring me." Banana shook his head. "Moving on." he sighed, glancing at the next name. "Fluttershy."

"Wait!" Spearmint said, snapping out from his daydream. "Aren't you curious as to why Rarity is on this list?"

"You mean besides that description you just gave me?" Banana shook his head. "I know Rarity; I've seen her turn down more dudes than any other girl in this school combined. She rejects them so fast, they don't even get the chance to open their mouths." Banana fished out a piece of lettuce and stuffed it into his mouth. "It's like she knows what they're gonna ask her before they even ask." he said between each chew.

"Yes...yes." Spearmint agreed. "Not to mention she's the sort of girl who's really high-class too; you'd definitely not be able to fulfil that important criteria." Spearmint stared at him. "If only your fashion sense wasn't that horrible as well."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Banana asked, staring down at his clothes. "I like what I'm wearing, you know."

"It means you'd look like a pauper standing next to her." Spearmint shook his head. "Rarity would probably faint if you approached her."

"No, she won't!"

"Hush now my boy. Don't cry. There's still plenty of other girls on this list. Fluttershy was it?"

"Yeah. She's the one with the animals crawling out of her backpack." Banana said. "I remember that one time, a bunny escaped from her clutches; she spent most of that afternoon searching for it." he chuckled. "She also talks to the animals as if they'd understand her or something."

"Fluttershy is an angel, my blind companion. You always fail to see what makes these girls truly shine like the stars they are."

"Oh no, here we go agai---"

"Her pale, light greyish-rose hair reminds me of flowers, blooming in a magnificent green field. Every time she passes by, there will be a lingering smell of something sweet, and fragrant." Spearmint clenched his fists, and closed his eyes, as if acting out a character in a dramatic play. "Her voice is like a tiny mouse, but an adorable one, mind you. She is quiet and shy, yet every time you see her smile it will make your heart all fluttery on the inside." Spearmint opened his eyes, and whispered: "Thus the name: Fluttershy."

"That makes no sense." Banana said. "And surprising too; you actually managed to not mention anything about her body, or her breasts."

"I'm getting there, don't rush me, man!" Spearmint snapped, sounding annoyed by the interruption. "I was just telling you the minor details first!"

"Well, please stop." Banana took another bite from his salad. "There's no need go into such detailed details." he swallowed. "Besides, I think Macintosh got eyes on her."

Spearmint's jaw dropped, and his hands fell to his sides. "Really? Big Mac? How could've I not know this?"

"Didn't you hear it from your 'connections'?" Banana asked. "A bunch of students saw the two of them spending time together. But they could just be rumours, though."

"Damn." Spearmint cursed. "And here I thought you might be able to go with the shy one. If Big Mac is going in for the kill...we would do best not to interfere with his prey."

"P-Prey?"

The sudden ringing of the school bell told the two that lunch was over. Students all around them stood up, and proceeded to return their food trays and dispose of any waste they have with them.

"Ah crap!" Banana said, shovelling down the rest of his lunch down his throat. "I haven't even finished eating yet!"

"We shall continue this talk at a later time, Banana!" Spearmint said, standing up. "I'll see you after school, if not, at your house!" Spearmint joined the crowd leading out of the cafeteria, leaving Banana alone at the table to finish his lunch. "In the meantime, check who's next on the list, my friend!" and with that said, Spearmint disappeared from view.

Banana glanced down at the paper Spearmint had left him. The name that was next caught him by surprise, so did the sudden slap on his back.

"Hey, slowpoke, classes are starting soon!" came a girl's voice. Banana recognized it instantly; after hearing his name being called out so many times during basketball practice, it wasn't exactly hard to determine who's voice it was. Banana spun around, and sure enough, he was right; standing before him was a girl with rainbow-coloured hair, tied back into a ponytail, with a cocky grin spread across her face. He gawked at the girl.

"Helloooo?" the girl called out, waving her hand in front of Banana's face. "Earth to Banana, are you still with me?"

"R-Rainbow?" Banana blurted out.

"The one and only." Rainbow Dash said, puffing out her chest with pride. "What are you still doing here eating salad?" she glanced at Banana's nearly finished meal with disgust. "You should get a move on, you know. Don't want to be late for class!"

Banana stared back at the piece of paper he was still holding. "Rainbow Dash." he muttered. Rainbow's name was on the list of girls he should try asking to go to the Fall Formal with him.

"I know my name sounds awesome and all, but, you don't really need to say it so many times to catch my attention, you know." Rainbow said, crossing her arms together. "I can hear you just fine."

"W-What?" Banana quickly stuffed the piece of paper into his jean's pocket. "R-Right! Of course y-you can hear me! It's not like you have bad hearing or anything, right? Ah ha...ah ha ha...ha..." his voice trailed off.

Rainbow stared at him with an eyebrow raised. "Are you feeling alright? You sound a little weird today." Rainbow asked, bending down a little so that they were on the same eye-level. "Do you need to see the nurse or something?"

Banana gulped, but did not say anything; for some reason, he was having a hard time coming up with things to say to her. All he managed to do was stare back at Rainbow like an idiot. "I...er....I'm---"

Rainbow giggled at him. "Okay, weirdo." she said, rolling her eyes. "I'm gonna go to class while you stay here and continue being weird, okay?" Rainbow gave Banana a slap on the shoulder and headed towards the exit. "Don't be late for practice!" she added, with a wave of her hand.

Banana watched Rainbow leave the cafeteria. When he was sure she was gone, he pulled out the piece of paper from his pocket, and stared at her name written on it.

"B-Bye..."

Author's Note

Okay, so, I messed up big time on this one. All I wanted to do, was to make this story a simple one-shot; you know, those stories where they are all short and pleasant? But nooooo, not this time. I somehow managed to make this story into yet another long one. I really gotta stop doing that; I'll never be able to finish any of these stories if I keep this up.

On a happier note, I hope you guys have fun reading this chapter. I will try my best to upload chapters as quickly as I can. But, for your information, I'll be starting work at my new job tomorrow morning. So, I can't really promise you guys anything solid. But I'll try my best! :derpytongue2: