So cold. So warm. So fast.
Your wings cut through the frigid air with every flap, but still it seems to seep into every crevice within your feathers and mane. Tears freeze down the sides of your face as you travel at speeds you had never known since moving into the small mountain village. Your teeth would chatter if they were not being clenched shut with every ounce of strength in your numbing jaw.
But what keeps you moving is more than the desire for freedom or to help your new friends. Strength comes pouring like hot sand in two ways. It comes from the warmth of the pony against your chest and the warmth against your flank.
For too long you had been without your cutie mark. Without your personality, your talents, and everything else that made up who you are. Gone was that plastic smile that adorned your face; and everypony else’s. Your mane casts off that usual style expected of the population, blowing back in the wind. From the mark on your side, into your heart, and then through the rest of your body; it all comes back. The need for speed, the craving for altitude, and even the love of a good blinding chill in your eyes. All what had been foolishly cast aside for a twisted mare’s vision of ‘acceptance’ and ‘harmony’.
It was inevitable, perhaps. A curiosity developed within you some time ago whilst wearing the same mark and mask as those around you. A thirst to reclaim yourself. To be an individual again.
However, the want to be different was not for its own sake. There was another who showed how a pony could stand out; a white stallion called Double Diamond. He wasn’t part of the secret group with the others who had the curiosity. He was the one who probably tried harder to fall in line than anypony else, going so far as to follow the leader everywhere she went. But every now and again, a little something else would poke out. He’d have a genuine drive, an adorable forgetfulness, or even some smugness here and there. All wrapped up under that snow fur and a frosty mane like yours.
He didn’t seem so friendly when you first came to town. However, you’ve learned that he’s not particularly good with any newcomers, despite how much he works on his first impressions. It took some time, but you saw that he’s one of the most dependable ponies there. While still not warmed up to you completely, he was first in line to help build your cottage. He’d ask how things were and offer to fix anything if it were in his ability. Sometimes even if it wasn’t and he’d get a little pout when you had to turn him down.
Those old conversations come to your mind and every now and again slipping in a little joke. Eventually he started giving an honest laugh and a shot of his own humor.
It was fun to try and spot his quirks. When he was around, the smile was easier to bear.
Unfortunately, due to another particular pony, those moments of sunshine would be covered by a cloud of fear almost as soon as they came.
Starlight Glimmer; how he would follow her of all ponies! The most different pony following the one who made everything as same as possible! To see them together mixed in your stomach like salt and milk. You couldn’t say anything, though. Calling out his uniqueness would only bring punishment. It would have been an insult to him. Starlight would have made sure of that. So you watched and wished, waiting for the time to come.
It finally came. Just a few moments ago, you saw the whole spectrum of Double Diamond play out with no inhibitions.The way he charged at the cutie mark vault. The sudden stop in front of his old skis and getting distracted. The smile as he suggested his plan. Every moment caused a row of giggles to float up your chest that would have escaped had they not been pushed down by the weight of the current situation.
It’s a little strange, though. Never before have you considered this possibility of being able to hold him like this. Sure, around town you’d give a hoof bump or maybe even a hug on rare occasions, and those instances came with the odd comfort he brings.
Here he is now in your arms in his cute helmet and scarf. You wonder if the scent of fresh chill is coming just from the air or from the bits of his mane poking out. Despite the added weight, holding him so close makes you feel as if you were being lifted up. It swirled in your head and chest, runs up your spine, and sends more shivers down your wings than the cold itself. With both his and your cutie marks back again, it doesn’t just feel like a simple embrace. Such thoughts from before, seeing this pony as different was perhaps the spark that kept you going. Now, with not just him but both of your cutie marks restored, it’s as if two ponies are finally truly meeting for the first time igniting a fire in your heart and mind.
There’s only one problem: very soon, you’ll have to let go.
It’s not fair. After waiting so long, enduring the crushing sameness day in and day out, you finally took him away from the one who made everypony’s life so dull whether they knew it at the time or not. You were right! You knew ponies could be different despite everything you’ve been told! You knew you were miserable in that town and everypony was being taken advantage of!
And yet…
You did nothing.
Sure, you had those secret meetings, but you never thought about rising up like today. You probably would have never suggested such things, to him or Starlight. If those six ponies didn’t come to town, then who knows how long it would have gone on?
Perhaps having to let go is the price for your inaction. You’d ask what you could have done, but you just saw what that yellow pegasus did to expose Starlight. It all seems obvious now. Still, you couldn’t argue. Surely you’ll be better off for all the events that happened. Is it greedy to ask for more? Rather, would it be greedy to keep what you finally have?
You look down to the pony you’re pursuing. Starlight Glimmer, the one who caused everything. She pushed the smothering equality and brought fear to those who dared to think differently. She forced everypony to wear those smiles that hurt your jaw at the end of the day. She lied to everypony. With no remorse, she lied to you, Sugar Belle, Party Favor, and even Double Diamond!
Suddenly, you remember the look on Double’s face after Starlight was found out. How much anger was wrapped up in his gaze. He was one of her closest followers and she betrayed him from the moment they met.
The fire in your chest begins to grow.
She took Double Diamond’s trust and faith and used it solely for her own gains. She didn’t care about him at all! All those times that his true colors dared peek out under the veil she tried to cover him in; she probably resented them. She didn’t care for him and never would. Without a thought, day in and day out, she used him.
Realization dawns, flowing through your head and mane against the high speed chill. This isn’t about what you want. This is all about giving Starlight Glimmer what she deserves. Comeuppance for all the years of lies and torment. Getting back for every meeting in fear. Most of all, revenge for attempting to snuff out the one little spark that gave you something to look forward to every day.
That is it. The fire roars through your body against the icy winds. Funnily enough, it feels similar to the warmth flowing in from holding Double Diamond. It’s an anger you both share.
Poor Double Diamond, probably having been hurt more than anypony else. You’ll make it up to him. He’ll have a pony to truly accept who he is. He’ll be able to ski all he wants and you could be there with him. You could race, do tricks, maybe even see how fast you two could go together. The possibilities swirl in your mind.
You blink a couple times, focusing back on the immediate business. Maybe that moment is what it’s like for Double when he gets off track of what he’s doing. Another giggle threatens to escape as the floating off to another world for a bit was actually a little fun.
But now, you’re almost at the top of the mountain like Double explained. From there, you’re to drop him and the sliding powder from his skis will block off Starlight’s escape. You’ll find another moment to get your hooves around him again. Everything Starlight promised in friendship and acceptance, you’ll be the one to truly give it to him.
With a silent promise of the future in a tiny squeeze, you release.
Author's Note
Sorry this took so long to do.
This is basically a number of things. A quick-and-dirty thing to try and get the writing ball rolling again plus a number of experiments to see what I can get away with in 2nd POV. If all goes well, I might be able to make more controversial decisions for fics in the future!
Big thanks to Kody910, TheGentlemanCreeper, Ed L. Wice, and Crowley for pre-reading.
