Joel, The Element of Badassery

          Once more, Joel opened his eyes, revealing the "welcoming" faces of the mane six.

          "Morphine..." Joel struggled, the drug being the only word needed to survive in the hospital. "What happened? What time is it? By the looks on you guy's faces, I either did something amazing, or royally fucked up." He groggily continued.

          Twilight frowned, confirming the latter, thus sealing Joel's freindship (and getting laid) chances at zero.

          "You nearly killed us all, and severely hospitalized Scootaloo for several days," She said. "Just because I thought you were worth saving. Your on your own. Your ass is grass BITCH." She added with such force that even Celestia cringes at the unbecomingness of her young protoge.

          "Where the fuck is my MORS? Joel asked, rather forcefully. Rarity threw it into his lap and walked away, the others following suit.

          After they left, Joel examined his surroundings. The quick look over revealed he was in a hospital lobby. He needed a home. And fast. There were two ways to go about doing this, one being out of the question. He trotted as fast as he could around town searching for a barber. After 10 minutes of looking, he finally found his target. He ran into the empty barber shop and catapulted himself into a chair.

         "Yo Scissor Hoofs!" Joel called genarically to the barber, in leiu of finding his name.

          "Actually, my name is-" the barber responded

          "Take a quarter inch off, and make it snappy!" Joel said, cutting off the barber. The barber obliged and got to work immediately.

          It was time to get laid.