Flashbacks

by Living Shadow

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Tragedy, Slice of Life, Human, Sad, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2213

Twilight Sparkle remembers a painful memory that still troubles her

Twilight has a flashback to memories she's locked in the back back of her mind and doesn't want to remember.

Published 2015-09-15 15:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-15 15:10:01 UTC

.....

Twilight Sparkle

He is gone.

Gone. Never to be seen again. I would never hear the sound of his voice. His face. Him.

My mind couldn’t wrap around this fact as I sat in my bedroom, on my bed. It has been almost a year since Flash died, but I still go in shock at times. My brain still can’t comprehend that one simple-sounding fact, ‘He’s gone’. It sounds simple. “Why can’t it be as simple?” I involuntarily sob.

I double over and clutch my head, a deep sick feeling from the pit of my stomach coming up. I feel the lump rising up in my throat all over again, for the hundredth time. I squeeze my eyes shut trying desperately to contain my tears, but they start to trickle down my face anyways. As my tears continue to fall, the the memory of that horrible, horrible day breaks loose from where I’ve sealed it in the back of my mind….

***

Earlier in the year, Canterlot’s death rates had gone higher and nobody knew why. It all seemed to be natural causes, but it was still pretty strange. Probably no one would’ve found out why if me and my friends hadn’t sensed an abnormal beings’ presence.

We figured out that some invisible being was possessing people, and sucking all the life from their souls. To humans, the cause would appear completely and perfectly natural, but these creature’s caused those ‘natural’ occurrences. Apparently, they lived off human bodies and would take over a body long enough to feed until the human became too weak and eventually developed a terminal disease. When the human died, they would leave the lifeless husk and move on to another person. The way they fought us back, is they had weird openings in their hands from which they shot a dark substance at us that somehow caused massive damage to the person it hit. In some cases, the person it hit died.

When we first found out about these creatures, in all honesty, we didn’t really have a clue what to do about them. We had never fought against anything like this before. Creatures that we can’t communicate with. Which don’t have feelings, a life or anything they care about except feeding. It was traumatizing, and I, as the leader, the person people looked up to, was almost entirely set with the task of figuring out how to defeat them. It was difficult, knowing that one could’ve entered you any second. We shielded all the people we could, including ourselves, using the elements of harmony. I had to figure out a way to defeat the ‘Death spirits’ (as we called them) before the elements grew too weak to stay up.

There were countless times, when things seemed so hopeless that I would want to just give up and hide in some dark corner in the world. Countless times I thought Why? Why did it have to be me? Everyone thinks I’m strong, that I can protect them no matter what, but that’s not true! I can’t! I can’t do anything! I’m so weak and helpless! I don’t understand why this role, this power was given to someone so useless as me!

I am so scared. So scared…..….I need help….I don'y think I could do this; the fate of the WORLD rests on weak shoulders like mine! If we lose, It’ll be all my fault!
….I just want to crawl in a hole and die…

..Please God….

I would hide in closets, deep dark corners, despairing over what to do. Numerous times.

And numerous times, I would suddenly feel a warm, strong feeling interrupt thoughts such as these as an arm slid around my huddled, cold body and wrapped me in a tight, comforting embrace. Numerous times, a voice, that voice brought me back to reality, telling me to stay strong and that I wasn’t alone. I would never be alone. He would be with me. He would look me in the eyes with a gaze not even my parents ever looked at me with, kiss me and tell me everything would be okay. That gaze gave me a feeling a warmth and security, and anyone could tell, that gaze basically radiated his love. Numerous times, he gave me the courage and strength to keep on fighting, no matter how many times it looked like we were defeated, and how many people we lost.
It was all because of him, I was able to go on.

***

“Elements of Harmony……….”
“HONESTY!”

“KINDNESS!’

“LAUGHTER!”

“GENEROSITY!”

“LOYALTY!”

“MAGIC!”

We sent a rainbow spiral of magic, crashing down in waves right in the center of a group of death spirits. So far, we had succeeded in defeating almost all of them, and there were only some left scattered around.

Usually, our most powerful move (the rainbow of friendship) would’ve immediately defeated our enemies, but in this case, this move was only a hard blow to them.

I’m sweating and panting. Using this much magic at at once can exhaust a person to the point of collapsing on the floor, but we’ve got to do it. They’re out in the open, and this is one of the best chances we’ve got to end this once and for all.
Again, we send the rainbow spiral crashing down onto the death spirits.

We all spring back as the dust from the impact starts to settle down and quickly duck and hide. We need a breather. Really bad.

“Twilight. This is sure tiring me out. I’m pretty sure non’ of us can last much longer” Applejack says, panting to my left.

“I know,” I nod. “But it’s either we do this or fail humanity and let everyone we care about die.”

I want to collapse as well. Though it may not look it, I’m practically falling apart from the stress. If Flash hadn’t been there for me, we might’ve not even gotten this far…

“Yeah,” Fluttershy says softly, wiping her forehead. “Even if we know we might die, we have to keep fighting. I won’t be content until I know that everyone I care about is safe. I mean…..almost everyone. I wish I could protect you guys as well.”

If Fluttershy, the shyest person I know can have that much courage, I should be able to as well…..…...

“That’s really brave of you, Fluttershy. You’re way braver than you look.
Yeah, I’m prepared to die as well, if it’s for humanity!” Rainbow Dash boldly steps forward.

Rainbow Dash….

“Let’s end this everyone! Forever!” Pinkie shouts as we all get ready to charge.

My friends are so willing to be ready to sacrifice themselves for this cause.
…….I feel so guilty……...how can I be so selfish? Why don’t I feel the same way?

“ELEMENTS OF HARMONY….

***

Flash Sentry

I watch the girls from a distance, worried down to my guts. Usually the spirits aren’t visible to humans, but for some reason, they are right now. The girls don’t know I’m watching them of course. If they did, Twilight wouldn’t be able to concentrate and would be freaking out over protecting me.

She told me to stay behind, but an hour later, I was so nervous that I absolutely had to come see what was going on.

It looks bad. Really bad. The girls are exhausted and they haven’t seemed to make much progress. What’s worrying me the most though, is that the spirits aren’t fighting back, they’re just taking the hits standing there and then getting back up.

I want to do something, I want to help them so bad, but I can’t. I stand there behind the building, clenching my hands into tight fists and gritting my teeth.

I’m so useless! I wish I could do something, anything to help them. I’m sorry Twilight. I’m sorry everyone. All I ever do is get in the way. I’ve done absolutely nothing to help them….

I watch them take a major hit.

Twilight…..

She’s standing there bravely, taking the most of it with a look on her face which is one of determination.

I love her so much.

When she first transferred to the school, I was dating Sunset Shimmer. I saw her for the first time in English class and immediately developed a crush on her. She was really cute…

She fell for me during the school year, when I finally had the courage to break up with Sunset and ask her out.
Now that I’ve actually experienced love, I realize that me and Sunset were never truly in love. The one I love is Twilight and I want to protect her, but now, all I can do is watch her and her friends suffer while I am standing here, perfectly fine.

I love her so deeply. I want to hold her tight and never let go.

I open my clenched fists and feel the blood in my arms rush back to my hands.

If I lose her, I will never forgive myself…

Twilight Sparkle

It’s been about an hour. It’s noon, the hottest part of the day, and me and my friends are standing, panting facing the spirits.

I was so intent on trying to destroy them, I just noticed they haven’t even lifted a scaly finger to hurt us.. I think panting.

“Guys,” I say.

“Yeah?” they gasp.

“There’s something wrong. I just noticed they haven’t fought back. They just defended themselves.” It’s pretty straining to even talk.

“What, darling? What about when………… wait…..you’re right…” Rarity stares off into space. “Now that I think about it…”

I stare intently at the death spirits. They were just floating around waiting for us to make our move. What was this? A decoy? Distraction? Did they have some sort of other plan?

Wait…..I squint my eyes and notice that a lot are shuffling awkwardly………. and even struggling not to collapse though they are trying really hard not to let it show.

“Guys,” I say. “Let’s do the rainbow one last time okay? I have a hunch it may work,”

“And if that hunch is wrong?” Applejack questions.

“Then we fight till we die or absolutely can’t do anything” I answer. I clench my teeth and get ready…..

“ELEMENTS OF HAR-......”

“TWILIGHT, BEHIND YOU!!!” I hear.

No, it can’t be. I must be hallucinating. Flash isn’t here…

“TWILIGHT!!!”

Maybe….he followed us?
I spin around…..

Oh. My. God.

Right behind us is the biggest death shadow I’ve ever seen. And it’s aiming it’s hands at me. One hit will be all it’ll take to kill me. I can’t go anywhere now, the rest of the spirits have formed a wall around us.

Shit. There’s nothing I can do except dodge. My eyes flicker back to the spirit’s hands and realizing that they’re glowing. Oh mega shit…..I’m toast. I don’t have any time to move….

I’m sorry I’m such a failure everyone……..But I can’t leave Flash and the others like this! The elements are useless if one of us is missing!

I grit my teeth and open my eyes and prepare to dodge.

Time seems to slow down. The spirit shoots and it’s coming straight at me. I try to jump to the right, but I can see it’s going to hit me anyways.

Suddenly, a strong blow which knocks the wind out of me hits my side and I am thrown to the ground, gasping and panting but unharmed.

…..How?...

I look back but immediately wish I hadn’t.

“FLASH!!!” I scream.

***

I clutch my head and open my eyes. I’m gasping and panting and I’m on the floor….the rest is too painful.

I had run up to Flash, and held him in my arms as he took his last breaths. I started crying, begging him not to leave me, but he told me that life goes on and to keep fighting. He would always love me, and he would always be with me.

Then he was gone. The days after that were a painful blur that I can’t even remember.

I wipe my tears and get up and walk towards the window.

I still have my friends and I’m really happy about that, but Flash was the one I loved. I loved him so much it was painful and it still is, especially since he’s gone. I can’t move on. I can’t. I can’t live my life in depression. I don’t want to live, but I also can’t die. I have friends, family and people who need me. And what makes things worse is that I’m immortal anyways because I’m now a princess.

Life is so painful.

I walk toward the door and glance back at the window, my finger on the doorknob. The window is stained glass with a picture of me and Flash on it.

Flash, even if it’s not soon, I will see you again one day. We will be together again. I promise. I promise I will never forget you even if the memories are painful torture. I won’t marry anyone because my heart only belongs to you.

Outside, birds chirp. Crickets sing. The river flows gently. Life goes on. And so must I.

Author's Note

*goes back and re-reads it*

Well.....I must've been seriously depressed when I wrote this