Would it matter?

by Alex Prior

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Changelings, Fluttershy
Length: 1199

A changeling approaches Twilight Sparkle with a philosophical conundrum.

The first parody of “Would it matter if I was?”. Ponyville’s resident changeling goes to talk to the Element of Magic. AU.

WARNING: This story is a parody, and as such is not to be taken too seriously. You might sprain your brain.

Published 2015-09-14 23:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-14 23:30:02 UTC

Would it really?

“Pardon me, Twilight Sparkle?”

“Hm?” Ponyville’s resident librarian raised her eyes from the book she was reading. Her gaze fell upon the leader of the local Exiles. “Oh, it’s you, Masquerade. I’m afraid I’m a little busy at the moment. Is there anything I can help you with?”

The wingless changeling nodded, adjusting his glasses. “Yes, well, now that you mention it, there is a, shall we say, philosophical matter I wanted to talk to you about. May I take a seat?”

Twilight’s eyes widened in delight. She nodded rapidly. “Of course, make yourself comfortable. It has been such a long time since I’ve had a proper philosophical debate. What do you want to discuss about?”

The bug took a deep breath. “In light of the recent invasion of the main Hive -- Would it matter if, say, I was a changeling?”

His declaration was met with flat silence. Twilight felt her good mood flow away like an errant river of melting snow during Winter Wrap-Up. She cleared her throat. “Masquerade... You, er, you kind of are a changeling.”

He nodded. “Yes, indeed, but hear me out. What if I was a Changeling?”

Twilight frowned in consternation. “Masquerade, I hate to tell you this, but you ARE a Changeling.”

He smiled. “Yes, but what if I was?”

She puffed air out of her nostrils in frustration.“You ARE!”

The bug sighed. “Twilight Sparkle, let me ask you again, properly this time. This is a hypothetical situation, remember. Would you treat me differently if it turned out I was... a Changeling?”

The unicorn felt her eye twitch. “You. Are. A. Changeling.”

The aforementioned undisguised changeling smiled serenely. “This is a philosophical discussion, Twilight Sparkle. I ask again, purely hypothetically, would you, and consequently the other ponies in Ponyville, treat me any different from normal, if I was an undisguised changeling?”

‘Breathe, Twilight, breathe. Just like Cadance taught you. You can do this.’ She forced a smile. “Masquerade, you already walk around undisguised, as the changeling you are, right at this very moment.”

“Yes, but this has nothing to do with our discussion.”

‘What?’

Unknowing of Twilight's conundrums, the changeling plowed onward. “I am asking you a hypothetical question, regarding whether or not, in light of the Canterlot invasion, ponies would start treating Changelings differently? Especially if they knew they were changelings?”

‘He’s joking... Right?’ Twilight growled slightly. “Masquerade, ponies don’t. Care. You know that. I know that. Everypony knows that. Yes, there are Changelings all around, yes, they walk around undisguised, and nopony. Cares!” She took a deep breath. “There, question answered.”

The changeling shook his head. “Not really.” ‘WHAT?!?’ “Would it matter if I was a Changeling?”

Twilight felt a headache coming on. “No, Masquerade, It wouldn’t matter.” ‘There!’

“Are you saying this because you are enamoured with me, and are as such giving me a biased answer?”

“What? NO! I mean-”

“Because if you are, then I must find a more reliable source.”

The eye-twitch was now becoming noticeable. Twilight felt a hair spring out of place. “Masquerade, no. I am NOT in love with you! I don’t even have the time for any kind of love!”

The changeling peered at her through his spectacles. “Mmm, no wonder you are wound so tight. Twilight, you really should consider finding yourself a paramour.”

‘Oh no.’

“Perhaps your new sister-in-law has some advice for you?”

Twilight found herself sputtering at the changeling’s audacity. Her love life was NOT his business! “My love-life is none of your business!”

Masquerade tsked. “Twilight, Twilight, Twilight. Your love life, sparse as it is, has nothing to do with our discussion.”

Twilight gaped. ‘He didn’t just...’

The changeling stood. “Shame it had to end like this. Since you are obviously not up to philosophical discussions of hypothetical nature, I will go speak with somepony more... impartial. I believe Rainbow Dash will make a better subject.” He nodded to Spike. “I will see you two around.”

In a flash, he shifted into the guise of a green and brown pegasus, and took off, leaving a rapidly purpling unicorn in his wake.

Minutes later, Masquerade, still in his pegasus guise, knocked upon Fluttershy’s door. The pink and yellow mare peeked out. “Hello?”

The disguised changeling adjusted his spectacles. “Greetings, Fluttershy,” he said. “May I borrow your spare Wonderbolt costume?”

The pegasus’ eyes widened in both recognition and understanding. “Oh, Masquerade! Come in, I’ll look it up in a minute. You want Rainbow?”

Masquerade nodded. “Indeed. I seem to have hit upon a philosophical conundrum, and I’m afraid Twilight is of no help.”

Fluttershy blinked. “Oh my. I thought Twilight loved these discussions?”

Masquerade shrugged his (temporary) wings. “I just don’t know what went wrong.”

The mare leveled the (current) stallion a knowing look. “Conversational paradoxes?”

Masquerade shook his head. “Not this time. All I did was ask her if she would look at me differently if I was a Changeling.”

Fluttershy bit her lip. “Masquerade, I hate to be the one to tell you this (if you don’t mind that is), but, well, you kind of are a changeling.”

The changeling groaned. “I know that, okay?” He sighed. “This is kind of the whole point of me asking! How will I know if ponies would treat me differently depending on whether I was a changeling or not!”

The butter yellow mare shrugged. “It wouldn’t really matter, considering that you already are a changeling. Why should you concern yourself with what ifs? It really isn’t healthy, you know.”

Masquerade sighed. “Just... Give me the costume. I’ll go find Rainbow Dash.”

One change of costume and a short flight later

“Gotcha!”

The prismatic pegasus wrapped her hooves around the stallion in the Wonderbolt uniform. After a quick look around to see if anypony had noticed (nopony had) she dragged her loot into Applejack’s barn. “Well, well, well,” she drawled. (Badly.) “Now, you will tell me all your secrets OH COME ON!”

That last past she yelled out as the stallion burst into green flames, revealing the by now familiar changeling underneath. In a flash she was at his face. “What’s the big deal, uh? Is it fun for you to watch my dreams crumble? Eh? EH?”

Masquerade sighed. “No, Rainbow Dash. I wish to speak with you. And you were, as always, missing.”

The prismatic mare grumbled. “I was on a stakeout.” She huffed. “Fine, whatever. What do you want?”

The changeling equipped his usual glasses. “Rainbow Dash, if I was hypothetically a changeling... would you look at me differently?”

The pegasus waved a hoof. “Nah. Element of Loyalty, remember?”

Masquerade smiled in relief. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash. That’s all I wanted to hear.”

The End.

Author's Note

A little ficlet I couldn't just not write, especially considering how hilarious the concept was to me.
Inspiration is the same fic this one parodies. You really should read it, it's good.

The changeling featured here is the one on the coverart. I drew it myself, and provided a backstory.
If anyone wants to know more about Masquerade, let me know.

Also let me know what you thought of the fic. Cheers! :pinkiehappy: