The Mischievous Penny Pincher!

by Yukito

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Silver Spoon, Comedy
Length: 1884

There's a new villain in town. The dastardly, disgustingly vile Penny Pincher! And he's out to pinch some pennies!

Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara have a run-in with the villainous Penny Pinch, a threat so dire, so dastardly, that it will require Equestria's greatest hero to defeat!

Based off of a background pony in Canterlot Boutique (see cover art). Fimfic, pls give Filthy Rich tag, kthx <3

Published 2015-09-15 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-15 22:00:01 UTC

The Mischievous Penny Pincher!

Filthy Rich was humming the day away in his office, checking his vast amounts of wealth against official documents to ensure that everything was in order. If there was one thing that Filthy Rich loved, it was money. Oh, and his daughter. But money didn't make any demands and didn't pester him to help with its homework, so it was a close contender.

After finishing up his weekly checking/caressing of his money and locking it all away into his safe, Filthy Rich decided to check his mail before heading home for the day. There were two letters. Filthy Rich opened the top one and found that it was from Fancy Pants. He chuckled as there was a joke written on the page.

"Why did the commoner cross the road? To buy their own eggs! Ohohooooh, that Fancy Pants cracks me up," he said as he wiped a tear from his eye. "Ohhhh, but enough of that jokester. I really do want to be getting home tonigh-" Filthy Rich stopped as he opened his second letter, surprised when nothing but a banknote fell out.

Upon closer examination, Filthy Rich found that the note had writing on it. After bringing the note closer to his eyes and squinting, he read, "Your pennies have been pinched." Filthy Rich gasped and turned around, finding his safe… still there. "Oh thank Celestia… MY WALLET!" Filthy Rich checked his desk, throwing his papers to the side, and found that his wallet was missing. His hooves shaking, Filthy Rich slumped back into his chair and slowly wiped the sweat from his head. "H-He's back. Celestia help us all…"

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon skipped out of the school building as the final bell rang, dismissing the students for the day. "Hey, wanna go hang out with the Crusaders?" Diamond Tiara asked.

Silver Spoon stopped and stared at her friend for a few seconds, before they both broke out into laughter. After calming down, Silver Spoon said, "Actually, I can't do anything today. The Filly Scouts have an early meeting today."

"Lame," Diamond said, earning a nudge from Silver Spoon.

"You won't be saying that when you get lost and want me to find you!"

A cloaked stallion bumped into Diamond Tiara, knocking her onto the ground. "Oh! My apologies, young filly. Mwuhahahah…"

"Owww!" Diamond Tiara pushed herself up to her hooves and looked up at the stallion. "Watch where you're going!"

"Oh, don't worry. I'll watch. I'll watch where I'm going alright. Keheheheh…"

The stallion turned around to leave, and the two fillies turned to look at each other. "Well, that was… weird," Silver Spoon said.

"Yeah… Well, wanna go get an ice-cream before you-" Diamond Tiara gasped as she reached into her saddlebag.

"What's wrong?"

"M-My purse is missing!"

"WHAT?!" Silver Spoon turned to where the stallion had wandered down the street and glared. "I bet he took it!"

"That has my entire month's allowance in there!"

"… Why?"

"In case of surprise sales!"

"Oh." Silver Spoon adjusted the glasses on her face and hummed in thought. "If we hurry, we might be able to find him before he leaves town."

"But how?"

Silver Spoon grinned. "I just happened to have earned my tracking badge last week."

"But… don't you have a meeting to go to?"

"Yeah, but, for my friend, I'll take a rain check."

"Oh, Silver Spoon!" The two friends embraced as they both hugged with large smiles on their faces.

Meanwhile, Lyra looked over as she walked by and said, "Why don't we ever hug like that anymore?"

Bon Bon, walking besides Lyra, rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, not again."

"Don't dodge the question!"

"Look, can we talk about this when we get home?"

"You say that but we never do!"

"HEY!" Diamond Tiara shouted. "We're having a moment here!"

"Yeah! Take your lover's spat somewhere else!" Silver Spoon yelled.

"We're not lovers!" Bon Bon yelled back.

"We're not?" Lyra asked.

"I… I'm not sure." Bon Bon tapped a hoof to her chin in thought.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon rolled their eyes as she they left the dysfunctional couple alone, running down the street to find the stallion who had stolen Diamond's purse.

Nurse Sweetheart opened the door to her home and walked inside, humming a tune as she threw her keys into the bowl to her side. She noticed another set of keys and figured that her husband was already home. "Dear, did you already eat?" she called out as she walked into the parlour. She stopped as she found a stallion standing in the centre of the room, wearing a blue cape and matching masquerade mask. "… Are we going through a midlife crisis in hear?"

"Sweetheart, he's back!"

"Who-"

Super Rich grabbed his wife's shoulders and shook her back-and-forth. "He's back, and he's after our precious treasure!"

Nurse Sweetheart gasped. "Our daughter?!"

"Our money!"

"… Yeah, okay. Just be back by six, and please don't tell anypony that's you under that mask."

"Of course not! A superhero never reveals his true identity!"

Nurse Sweetheart walked out of the room and into the kitchen. "I'll be making hayburgers for dinner tonight."

Super Rich nodded his head and narrowed his eyes. "Thank you, though I fear I may already be full up… on justice! … Can I have some of those little lettuce rings on mine?"

"Sure."

"Thank you. And now, I must be off!" Super Rich flicked his cape coolly and then left the house, using his spring boots to jump onto a nearby rooftop before jumping through the town.

Diamond Tiara stomped her hoof as she finally confronted the dastardly baddy that had stolen her purse. Standing before her as she panted and sweated from exhaustion, was the cloaked stallion who had bumped into her. He was rubbing his hooves as he stood beside the railroad track that ran just outside of town.

"We… caught… you!" Diamond Tiara said, her hoof slightly lifting off of the ground and sort of pointing forwards.

"You're… wel… come…" Silver Spoon panted as she came up behind her friend.

"So! You've managed to track me down, eh?!" The stallion removed his cloak, causing the two fillies to gasp. His coat was the same brow as Diamond Tiara's father, and his black mane and tail were styled in almost the exact same way. If it wasn't for the horn atop his head, Diamond Tiara could have very easily mistaken him for her father. "Well it's too late! MWUHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAH!" The evil stallion twirled his moustache as his horn glowed golden.

"W-What are you doing?! Who are you?!" Diamond Tiara demanded.

"My name is Penny Pincher, and I am going to take your money-"

"So you're a thief!" Silver Spoon accused.

"-And tie it to this railroad track!"

"… So you're a nut!" Silver Spoon accused.

"A nut with all of your pennies!" Penny Pincher levitated Diamond Tiara's purse, along with a wallet, onto the railroad track, followed by a length of rope. "NYAHAHAHAHAHAAAAH!"

"NO! MY MONEY!" Diamond Tiara screamed, running forward. Penny Pincher finished tying the money down and laughed maniacally as the filly charged towards him. "LET HIM GO, NOW!"

"Stand back, Diamond Tiara!" a voice boomed overheard. The filly stopped as a majestic figure swooped down from the heavens, his cape fluttering in the wind as she stared hard into the dastardly villains eyes. "So it was you. It's been a long time, Penny Pincher."

"Ahhh, I was wondering when you would show up… my brother!"

"'B-Brother'?!" Diamond Tiara shouted as she took a step back. "Penny Pincher is Super Rich's brother?!"

"My twin brother," Super Rich admitted in a solemn tone as he closed his eyes. "But where I fight for justice, he is just… pure evil."

"The train's coming!" Silver Spoon announced as she adjusted her glasses and looked into the distance. "Diamond, your money-"

"I'll save your money!" Super Rich said. "I'll save everypony's money! Penny Pincher, your diabolical deeds end now!"

"BAH! From the day you were born you worshipped your precious 'money'! But I'm not so weak as you! I don't let a pretty dime win my heart! Instead, I love to hear money scream as its final breath draws near!"

"You monster!" Diamond Tiara shouted.

"A monster? How much hope do you place into your precious currency?! How much time do you spend caressing your bits?! I'm liberating you! You should be thanking me!" Penny Pincher's ears twitched. "The train draws near! MWUHAHAHAHAHAH!" Penny Pincher twirled his moustache as he laughed.

"Taaaaaake this!" Super Rich threw a coin at Penny Pincher.

"OW!"

"AND THIS!" He threw another.

"OW! STOP THA- OW OW OW OW OW OW-"

"Hurry, young lady!" Super Rich said as he continued assaulting his brother with money. "While I keep him busy, rescue our precious bits!"

"Y-Yes!" Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon ran to retrieve the money from the railroad track. "There's rope here! I don't know how to untie it!"

"I do!" Silver Spoon declared, a glint in her eye as she leaned down and unfastened the know with such skill and accuracy. "HAH! Not a problem for a Filly Scout!"

"We got the money!" Diamond Tiara cheered as she picked up the purse and the wallet.

"CURSES! Foiled again!" Penny Pincher shouted as he jumped back, clenching his teeth as he glared angrily at the group. "You win this time, do-gooders, but I'll return! And I'll pinch you pennies once more!"

"I'll stop your every time, you cur!" As Penny Pincher left, Super Rich turned as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon ran towards him. He took his wallet from Diamond's hooves and bowed his head. "Thank you for your assistance today. Had it not been for you, our money might not have survived."

"I'm just glad we managed to stop that maniac before it was too late!" Diamond Tiara said.

"You really saved us today," Silver Spoon said. "Who are you, Mister?"

"I am the Keeper of Justice. The Guardian for Good. The Protector of Bank Accounts! I am… Super Rich!" And with that, Super Rich bounced off into the sky, leaving the two starstruck fillies as they watched him bounce off into the distance.

"And he wore this really cool cape and this mask, and he threw money at the bad guy and came up with these really cool lines, and then he asked me to grab the money while he fought the bad guy-"

"Yes, yes, Diamond Tiara," Nurse Sweetheart said as she rubbed her temple. "Now finish your burger before it gets cold."

"You know, you should introduce me to him sometime," Filthy Rich said with a smirk. "I have a feeling he and I would get along pretty well."

Nurse Sweetheart rolled her eyes. "Oh lord…"

Diamond Tiara scoffed. "Please, Daddy. He's like, really cool, and you're like… bleh!"

Filthy Rich's ears fell. "'Bleh'?"

"Like, you're all old school and tell lame jokes!"

"'O-Old school'?" As Diamond Tiara dug into her burger, Filthy Rich turned to his wife, who was simply giggling and sticking her tongue out at her husband. With a sigh, Filthy Rich lowered his head and began to eat. The little lettuce rings did little to lift his spirits.