Dresden Files: A New Life

by The Toaster Repair

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Anthro, Comedy, Romance, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 3569

Harry Dresden: wizard, private investigator, pizza lord, winter knight, and now a purple unicorn filly.

Harry Dresden has been many things: wizard, private investigator, vampire hunter, pizza lord, and the winter knight. But now, Harry is going to be something that he never thought he'd be; a purple alicorn filly.

I got the idea from Questionable Brony's story 'We're… Twins… yes… Twins'
The Dresden Files is owned by Jim Butcher
I gain no form of profit from, I only want to write a story.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-16 18:35:35 UTC

Chapter 1

Hello, my name was Harry Copperfield Blackstone Dresden, conjure at your own risk; and this is how my life went from okay to bat-shit crazy. Now before I continue I must warn you, this is going to seem like I just pulling on your leg and making up some story for shits and giggles, but what I'm about to tell is the absolute truth about how I met one of the 'greatest' person I've had the pleasure of meeting, Twilight Sparkle.

It all started when I had just gotten back from fighting the Queen of Air and Darkness, why because she decide to use a bloodline curse to gain complete control me. Let me explain why and how: I was the Winter Knight, basically the Queen's personally hit man and enforcer, and I was a bit rebellious towards her. I had the option to decline whatever mission I so desired so long as do the minimum, and that was bad for her rep and she decided to change that, by using my daughter Maggie as a base for a curse.

The moment I heard, I went and grabbed every friend I had that could fight, but even then I knew that wouldn't be enough, so I went and did the most stupid thing that I had ever done, and this comes from a guy who tried robbing the God of the Underworld, Hades. What did I do? Well I decided to go and find the Elder Gods, and bind one of them to me, causing it to wake up which then I had to fight. Luckily I won, just barely, but the fact is that had I won. But then the stupid factor comes in when I forgot that when of the Elder Gods wake up the others normally aren't far behind, and by the time that I was done fighting and binding them, it was getting close to the prime moment for Mab to commence the ritual.

My friends and I marched into the Capitol of Winter where the Winter Army waited to stop us, they didn't stand a chance at stopping me or my friends, which actually got a reaction out of Mab other than irritation and amusement. She tried to stop me from reaching Maggie, so I punted her ass into the depths of the Nevernever and sent her packing with a couple new wounds for her to lick, grabbed Maggie and went home.

Of course that wasn't the end of it, no, the very next day Mab arrived with another army, this one was made the Black Court vampires that tried to kill me on a piece of land that I have made my home. Mab’s second army laid to waste and Mab sent to spend eternity in Demonreach not as the Queen of Air and Darkness, but as another tally marker on Dresden's victory list.

But not without cost; when I had defeated the Elder Gods and linked my magic to their magic I had made so that my magic pool was just as big as all theirs combined, it was too much for any mortal coil to contain within their body and one does not simply become immortal. Luckily I had made a plan for this, which was fusing runes into my very bones to increase my strength and speed that would be fueled by my magic pool and decrease the amount of magic not being used; at least that was the plan before the rest of the Elder Gods woke up and decided to try and take me down, now I have only four months to go before I die of magic overload.

And there is nothing I can do about it: becoming immortal is almost impossible if you use magic, but the only way within the time limit would be through Black Magic, and I’m not that desperate.  So every day is getting more and painful as I slowly dissolve into nothing, and the only one who knows so far is Molly, my former apprentice, and she knows that it is inevitable regardless of how unfair it seems, and Karrin Murphy, a close friend and a former SI police officer, and she understands that theirs is no good way of preventing but thinks that I shouldn’t wait on telling everybody else.

About a week later, everything was settling down, Molly replaced Mab and everything seemed to be going for the better since, more order in the Nevernever and in the real world. Maggie recovered from almost dying (again) and was staying at the Carpenters for the time being. Everything was going well, until one particular day. I was playing chess against Michael just relaxing having with what’s left of my time in the land of the living.

“Checkmate.” Michael said.

“Ugh” I sighed, this was the seventh game of evening and it was 3-4, Michael in the lead.

“I’ll get you next time, Mich-“, I started say before I was yanked out of the chair I was sitting in and into the wall. Michael was stunned for only a fraction of a second before he yelled for help as he moved towards me, ye gods and little fishes he can yell. Molly, Murphy, and Charity ran to see me two feet off the ground pinned to the wall as if I was about to be crucified or something, Charity grabbed one of my arms and Michael grabbed the other while Molly tried figuring out what was happening to me.

“What’s going on Molly?!? Who’s trying to kill him now and with what?!?” Charity yelled at Molly who had taken up a look of fear.

“No one’s trying to kill him, in fact somebody is trying to teleport him somewhere, but I can’t pin the location or the user though!” Molly yelled back and no sooner had she said that I started to sink into the wall. Everybody grabbed onto some part of me and tried to pull me in the opposite direction, and even with four people pulling me they couldn’t stop me from being pulled in further. ‘This is bad, at this rate they’ll be pulled in with me.’ I thought and looked their faces, searching for emotions: Murphy had fear and rage painted all over her face along with a hint of sadness, Michael had fear and determination in his and anger on his face, Molly had sadness and fear all over her as she tried stopping what was happening, and Charity had determination on her face along with strangely sadness.

As I looked at them I saw out of the corner of my eye, Maggie standing in the doorway holding a pillow staring at the scene with confusion and fear. I knew what had to be done or else she wouldn’t be safe, and I know that this will be extremely painful for them but there was no choice.

“Let go.” I said simply, as everyone turned their heads to look at me in shock.

“What?” Molly whispered quietly.

“Are you crazy Harry, if we do that then you’ll-“ Murphy started yelling at but was cut off when I yelled back.

“And if you don’t then you’ll be pulled in with me, and I will not be responsible for you all dying because I was too scared to go alone!” I yelled back with twice the ferocity. “I know this is sooner than expected but at least let die with some dignity in the fact that I died trying protect the ones I love the most.”

“But Harry-“ Murphy tried to counter but I wouldn’t give her the chance.

“It’s either me or all of us, none of you can stop this, half my body is already through the portal and if it cuts off so does my lower half, and that’s only if you can actually hold me that long enough without falling in with me.” I continued my rant before softening my eyes and looking at her before saying. “It’s okay Murph, it was going to happen sooner or later; it’s okay Murph just let go and take care of Maggie for me.”

And just as I mentioned her name Maggie hugged me around the waist (well more like my lower chest since my waist is in the wall) while crying “Please Daddy, don’t go! I only have you left, and I don’t wanna lose you too!”

“It’s okay kiddo, you’ll be fine and you have Murph-“ While I was trying to console Maggie, a particularly hard pull made me slip from the grips of Molly, Michael, and Charity. Murphy felt her grip slipping, so she tightened it just in time to not lose my arm; that was a bad thing to do as both she and Maggie were pulled in with me into the great unknown.

I pulled both Maggie and Murphy close to me and put as many heavy duty defensive barriers as could, but to my utter horror something slipped through and was morphing my body along with Maggie and Murphy’s. I felt a burning sensation in my loins and chest, stretching feeling along my face,  I heard a snapping sound coming from my back, and felt something spiral out of my forehead. Other than that just the feeling my hair lengthen and feeling something coming out of my tail bone area. I creaked my eyes open and saw similar changes to Murphy and Maggie, except Murphy was looking more reptilian, she was growing scales over her skin and her hair was turning into spines. Black fur was growing all over Maggie as her facial structure became more equine like, a horn was sprouting out of her head and a pair of wings were forming out of her back; her hair changed from being brown to a dark blue color and tail of the same color had grown from behind her.

This was worrying, no scratch that, this was terrifying; something had just dragged me through a wall and is now changing our bodies to into something completely different while maintaining a stable portal and forcing three individuals through. There wasn’t many options as to what was going on: 1. Someone wants me and is dragging me to them and is changing my body so I would be more conspicuous, 2. My magic decided to try and keep me alive by creating a new body altogether (though highly unlikely it is still possible), and finally 3. Someone is in danger and threw out a cry for help and their magic hit me due to my rather large magic pool.

Out of those three options it was more probable to prepare for 1 and 3, if it was 2 then there was little to prepare for. So I started preparing by going through my spells and modifying my barriers, when I realized that the barriers were still holding things back but the changes to our bodies, which means that whatever this spell is it wasn’t just being casted, it had already been cast on me and my preparation would mean anything in a new with a new ‘state of mind’ from whatever mojo jojo is trying to bend me to their will. So I started placing barriers on my mind to protect whatever was left of it, I was on the verge of a full blown panic attack at this point. I was so focused on protecting my mind that I failed to notice the end of the portal rapidly approaching.

“What the-“ I started to say before being blinded by a white light and the sound of an explosion.

When I regained my senses I made a quick tab of what had occurred: I missed the fact that I had been shrunk to the size of an child, a tall one but a child none the less, I could tell by the fact that my trench coat was hanging of my shorted arms, the same happened to the Murphy and Maggie, Murphy was an anthropomorphic dragoness and Maggie was an anthropomorphic equine, same as me except smaller, my barriers were holding steady, there several individuals of larger sizes outside my barriers banging on it trying to get in, and finally a lavender anthro was resting on top of me. With my Evaluations complete I lifted the sleeping girl (at least I thought that she was a girl) off of me and set her down a good couple feet away from where Murphy and Maggie were, then turned around to the people hammering away at my barrier.

The ‘equines’ from before had moved out of the way for what looked like soldiers to try and break down my barrier, it was almost funny seeing centurions jab my barrier with spears. The spears must have been enchanted breach magical barriers is the looks on their faces were anything to go by as the spears where stopped dead in their tracks. The tallest one then stepped forward with a determined expression on her face; this one is roughly 8 feet tall with an astonishing JJ-cup breasts and a horn about a meter long sticking out of her forehead with a the spectrum of the rainbow for hair and tail, both of which were flowing in a nonexistent wind, and was covered head to toe in almost white pink fur with magenta colored eyes, and she radiated warmth like the sun.

As the Equine approached my barrier I noticed one thing that I hadn’t before, she had wings; she had spread them to make her appearance larger than it actually was. She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by someone burst through the door, this man looked like a cadet for the military or something; when he burst in he immediately yelled something along the line of “Twilight” before crashing into one of the guards causing both to fall into a heap of tangled limbs.

“Ahem,” My thoughts were interrupted by the lady in front of me “Would you lower the barrier please.”

Now I'd like to say I handled it completely mature. “Bwahahhahahahah!!!!” But that would be a lie.

I was on the ground laughing my ass off; this lady had thought that by just asking me nicely I would let me barrier, oh that was rich. After I regained my composure I stood back up wiping a few stray tears.

“Terribly sorry, but I couldn't help myself.” I giggled chuckled “I thought that you were being serious for a second there."

When I looked back at the woman I almost fell right back over laughing, the lasses jaw had literally dropped to the floor along with everyone else's (who was conscious).

"What did you truly believe that after you yanked me from my friends home with the two people I cared for most, I'd just roll over without a fight; did you honestly think that after bringing soldiers to come and attempt to destroy my barrier that I'd just curl up into a ball and wish for the monsters to go away, and when all else fails your final attempt to get in, going from blasting it with magic then banging and stabbing it with those pieces of garbage you call weapons, your final go-to plan isn't some all-powerful weapon or spell, no, it's asking very nicely to be let in."

The lady looked along the line of ashamed and annoyed at me, the soldiers were projecting pure hatred towards me and the 'civilians' were staring dumbfounded at me.

'Good, next time you'll hopefully think before acting.' I thought

"Um, Twilight is that you?" The 'Man' asked me, I turned towards him confused for a second before putting the pieces together.

"Uh... OH!" I exclaimed before turning around and walk towards the unconscious 'girl'. Picked her up in my arms and brought her to the shield, what I presumed to either be her boyfriend or brother went ballistic and rushed yell her name. His act of heroism was cut short by him tripping over a random banana peel that was sitting around... wait a minute were did that come from?!?

I shot a glance to the tall one and sure enough she was attempting to act as inconspicuous as possible, and failing miserably with a mouth full of what I assume was the banana. As she swallowed everyone else was rushing towards the newly face planted knight in shining armor, I continued walking towards the edge of the barrier with 'Twilight' curled up in my arms.

"While I'm sure Shining Armor over there may be in need of medical attention, this one might as well and she isn't within your reach." I calmly informed the group. And in an instant everything went quiet, there was no noise from outside or from the building settling around us. Just dead quiet, and I felt like I had just steeped on a social landmine of sorts.

"What do you mean by that?" Sunbutt (a name rightly given was inspired by tattoo on her ass that I didn't see before) quietly asked.

"What I mean is that while he is on the other side of the barrier while she is on this one and if you do manage to break down my barrier I could use her as a hostage or just outright kill her." I told her before taking a step closer to the barrier looking up at her with a winning smile, of course I wouldn't actually do that, but she doesn't need to know that. “Did you see what I just did, that is called negotiating in tense situations; and it is very crucial to use whatever you have to your upmost advantage."

She looked a bit peeved, but I don't blame her, if I was being insulted by a child then I would be a bit angry.

"And why would you want a hostage?" Sunbutt questioned as she tried to cast a spell stealthily.

"Maybe it was the fact that within moments after being kidnapped, armed soldiers show up and attempt to break down my barrier, or maybe the fact that my daughter and closest friend are unconscious in a potentially hostile environment with little to no way to defend ourselves." Yeah, I went on a bit tirade what are you going to do about, I was angry and was itching for a fight.

"While I can understand where you are coming from, and I'm sorry, but I can't let you use her as a hostage." Sunbutt unleashed her spell at my shield.

I knew the shield was going to break so I charged an attack of my own. When the spell connected the shield held for longer than I expected, but the spell did it's job and broke my shield; as soon as the shield was breached the four soldiers rushed at me, which I responded in the only way I saw fit.

"Fuego !" I exclaimed as poured my will into the attack, 'enough talk, it's time to fight.' A wise man once said.

Princess Celestia 3rd Person

Princess Celestia watched as her guards closed in on the filly, while she felt bad for her, she knew that right now, the unicorn thought she was a cornered animal and would act accordingly. But what Princess Celestia didn't expect for the unicorn to suddenly shout something then for a bluish silver flame to streak out of her horn, and was even more surprised by the fact that the filly was just as surprised. The flame ran over all four guards that were advancing on her; what should have happened is that the fire would flow of the guards do to the fire resistance enchantment on their armor, but the screams coming from her guards were saying that wasn't the case.

Celestia charged horn with an ice spell to put out the fire, but it had done next to nothing except put out the surrounding flames, launched spell after spell until the flame was put out. Princess Celestia was feeling something that she hadn't felt in a long time, fear, just one spell had almost killed, if not had, her guards with ease and the Princess of the Sun couldn't put it out without using several spells. Princess Celestia had immediately went to healing her guards, but was stopped when one of the guards shouted "Stop her, she's getting away"

Princess Celestia whirled around to see the filly somehow levitating all four of the unconscious individuals while running down the stairs.

"No, don't engage her!" Princess Celestia tried to warn the guards, but hearing the sound of the fire spell go off, along with the screaming that followed soon after, she knew it was too late.

'Just what kind of filly was that, she barely looks like she's 8, but she knows combat magic and can levitate multiple things that are close to her body weight with relative ease!' Princess Celestia's internal argument raged on as she gave chase to the pyromaniac in a filly's body.

"Princess, we the disturbance, what has happened?" The captain of her guard, Blazing Glory, had showed up with a full squad of guards in tow.

"Captain, there is a filly, no older than 8, with extensive knowledge of combat magic, has a knack for pyromancy and not afraid of killing any who try and bring harm to her or those close to her.