Faulty Hoofcuffs

Twilight and Rarity sat upon the train, the hiss of the steam muffled by the glass. Rarity was talking about all Twilight had missed. About this, and that. But Twilight was not really paying attention. Her mind slipped back, back to her escape from the land she had known for the past 5 years. Back to her stupidest decision ever, but one she would never regret.

"Welcome back, Lady Twilight," The hooded creature said, with words yet nothing.

"Charon," Twilight bowed as she slipped into the raft. "I pay the toll." Twilight said with a glow of her horn, summoning a golden drachma for the figure. Why it only accepted this as payment, Twilight could only guess.

The creature accepted, without word, and pushed off from the pier. They slipped deeper into the land, rolling down the black water, the River Styx. Twilight hated this part, seeing all of her worst fears climb out of the water and swarm her. First, a B- on a test. How droll. Next was losing a library book. Then Applejack siding with Granny Smith at the hearing. That was personal. Then came her worst fear yet, hurting Rarity.

"No," Cried the mare, trying to back away. "Stay back."

"Rarity, I love you. I could never hurt you." Twilight stammered.

"All you've done is hurt me," Rarity groaned, crying. "You made me lie to my friends, made me believe I was in love, and stole my most sacred possession, my innocence."

"No, I only tried to love you. To be with you-"

"No you didn't," Rarity interrupted, "You were never in love."

"It's all lies. It's just a fear," Twilight said to keep her cool.

"Did you seduce me because you knew I would be an easy target?"

"You're not real!" Twilight screamed.

"Buck off, you whore! It was in the end of a dry spell. You were getting desperate. I had a slight crush, and you wanted to have some sex. It's no wonder that you took to a relationship, that's the only way you would ever get to have sex again."

"Just stop it!" Twilight begged.

"Because how could a slut like you ever feel love?" Rarity demanded.

"You're wrong! I love you! I do! You're all I think of! I only want to make you happy! To make you safe! I love you, and would give my own life to save yours a million times over without a thought!" Twilight screamed, crying harder than ever.

"Then why do you fight to go back? I'm safer without you."

"To save you. I don't care about the rest of the unicorns, I don't care about anything. I just want to save you! See you! Please!"

"Hello, Lady Sparkle," Hades smiled as the raft reached the pier leading to his domain, the Judges of Fate.

"Twilight, darling?" Rarity asked, waking Twilight from her memory, "You fell asleep. Are you alright? You were talking in your sleep"

"I'm sorry. I was- just remembering stuff."

"Twilight?" Rarity asked, sensing her lover's fear.

"It's nothing. Honestly. Now, why don't we-" Twilight began, but a loud bang, like a book case falling in the library, rang out, and stopped all talk on the train. The door slid open, and there stood trouble. Dr. Adorable was on their train, and she looked none to happy.

Five minutes ago, Fluttershy had sat crouched in the cargo car, her goggles pressing into the bridge of her nose. But it was needed, less everypony figure out who she was. Six months had passed since she became the evil doctor, and she hated herself for it all the while. Rarity will never love me, unless I take a stand! Unless I bend the world to my will!

So the shy mare set out to do just that.

Six months ago-

"Oh, how about The Stare Master!" Called the only pony to know about Fluttershy's evil desires: Miss Pinkie Pie. She would figure it out anyways, so why wait.

"No, that sounds like a work out," Fluttershy sighed. "How about The Hoof?"

"The Hoof of what?" Pinkie asked, tossing a ball into the air.

"I don't know," Fluttershy chuckled. Right now, it was all still just talk, just fantasy.

"How about an evil doctor? Like Doctor Evil!" Pinkie cried.

"Too cheesy," Fluttershy cringed. In reality, she was scared of that name. It sounded much to fierce.

"Hmm, Doctor Horrible?" Pinkie offered, but Fluttershy misheard the party machine that ignored physics.

"Dr. Adorable? Yeah, I like that," She smiled.

"I love that name! I wish I thought of it," Pinkie said, completely honestly.

"But you... never mind. Thank you Pinkie." Fluttershy had first brought this idea forward after the creation of the ELE, that maybe she should give it a try. She was tired of being a door mat, of being ignored. So that night, Fluttershy found the perfect costume. It was all mixed and matched, but it worked. She put on that long black wig, and readied the goggles on her forehead. She buttoned the long white coat over her wings, and let the boots slip on. This was it. She was going to commit the perfect crime.

That night, under cover of relative darkness, as Fluttershy was too scared to go it in the complete darkness, the shy mare quietly infiltrated the compound, and silently cut the locks. She opened the cages in stealth, as liberated her prize. She was on the last cage, when the lights came on.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" A guard yelled.

"Eeep! I'm sorry! I was just liberating the poor bunnies! Please don't be angry with me!" Fluttershy yelled, throwing up her hooves around her head.

"Liberating bunnies? From a bucking pet store? What kind of silly... Wait," The guard stopped as he studied the mare, "Are you- a villain?"

"Yes," Fluttershy said, just above a whisper.

"Oh goddess, the ELE is here now! Bad Horse starts his reign of evil! Don't kill me!" The guard screamed as he bolted from the room.

"I- I s-scared him. I scared him!" Fluttershy cheered. "I did it! I'm a real villain now!"

"Dear Doctor Adorable," Fluttershy proudly read her letter from the ELE to Angel Bunny in her cottage. "We regret to inform..."

The bunny came over and placed a paw gently on her shoulder, patting her gently as she began to cry.

"I worked so hard!" Fluttershy wailed, burying her face in her hooves. "What else do they want? I struck fear into a pony! I disrupted local business! I-" Angel slapped Fluttershy on the back, making her stall, and admit the truth. "Okay, maybe freeing a bunch of cute bunnies isn't that evil, but I'm doing my best!" Angel rolled his eyes, and grabbed the copy of the Canterlot Times sitting nearby, thrusting it at the poor mare.

"What's this? A sale on duck feed? Oh I need that," Fluttershy smiled, and Angel smacked her with the rolled up news source. He thrust it at her again, slapping the name in print. "The Mare Do Well? Oh I couldn't do anything to Amy, Applejack would be heartbroken."

Angel tapped his foot, and snorted at the timid mare. "Well, I do want into the evil league of evil... But I don't know if I can go through with this. What if she hates me for it! What if she hurts me?"

Angel never wished before that he could talk, but right now it was all he wanted. He rubbed his temples, and pointed to the anti magic device Fluttershy had recently recieved. It's origin was shrouded in mystery, though the butter colored mare chalked it up to Ditzy delivering the wrong post. Again. "I couldn't use that!" Fluttershy squeaked. "It could kill her... But, maybe it doesn't have to..."

Fluttershy walked over and started checking over the machine. It was an easy design, distending a unicorn's magic, often to lethal limits. But it was a simple matter to adjust it, make warp their magical supply just enough to weaken a caster, but not cripple them. So finally, after hours of tweaks and mods, it was ready, and the evil Doctor was feeling the need to make a house call.

"Everypony, stay calm and no one will be hurt, besides her," Dr Adorable said, pointing to Twilight. Rarity reflexively threw her forelegs around the lavender mare. Everypony on board was in a state of pandemonium.

"The hell you say!" Rarity yelled at the... timid villain?

"Oh lords," Twilight groaned. "Everypony besides her and Rarity here, get out."

"What?" One mare recoiled.

"You heard me, get out. And when we get to Canterlot, don't say a thing! That's what these villains want," Twilight ordered.

"Who are you?" One colt asked, dumbstruck with fear.

"Lady Twilight Sparkle. I'm being foalnapped, don't panic. The ELE has strict rules governing this sort of event, a political coup."

"Twilight-" Rarity piped up.

"In a minute," Twilight reassured her lover.

"The hay are lords?" Rarity whispered. It was rather cute how in all of this, that was the most important detail, but that's Rarity, and why Twilight loved her.

"Oh, I'll tell you later. Now everypony, run. That's Doctor Adorable!" Twilight screamed, clearing the train. No pony wanted to face the mare of adorable.

"Mmhmm, thank you Twilight. I guess I was wrong," The mare chided as she locked the door between the cars. "I guess you can care about others."

"Oh shut up Fluttershy," Twilight growled. "You're not fooling anypony."

"What?" The two other mares recoiled.

"Why do you think she's Fluttershy?!" Rarity stammered.

"How did you know?" Fluttershy asked, lifting her goggles.

"Oh my goddess, you are Fluttershy!" Rarity screamed.

"I'm sorry Rarity. I never meant for you to find out this way," Fluttershy cried. "Twilight, how did you know?"

"Oh please," Twilight scoffed. "You did nothing about your tail."

"Oh shoot," Fluttershy pouted.

"Seriously Rarity? You even kissed her. You honestly couldn't tell?" Twilight chided, rounding on the white unicorn.

"Well I'm sorry!" Rarity hissed. "I was grieving the loss of the love of my life!"

"Do you have to say that," Fluttershy mumbled. "I love you too..."

"Darling, is that what this was all about?" Rarity asked, defeated in spirit.

"Yes..." Fluttershy managed, barely above a whisper.

"Ugh. Is there a magical spell to just fix everything?" Twilight groaned.

"Oh that's your answer for everything," Fluttershy said. "Little Miss Magic. 'I'm, Twilight. I'll just use magic.'"

"Fluttershy?" Twilight asked, taken aback.

"You know, I hate that. You just magic everything, Magic, magic, magic."

"Fluttershy," Rarity gasped. "Magic is Twilight's special talent. You shouldn't hate on somepony for being who they are."

"I don't hate her for being who she is. I just hate that she thinks she can fix everything with Her magic." Fluttershy yelled back, finding courage from behind the device. She leveled the object on Twilight, as the lavender mare pushed Rarity away. "Thanks, didn't want to risk hitting her," Fluttershy yelled as she pulled the trigger with her wing. The wave of anti-magic shot out, bobbing through the air as it hit Twilight square in the chest. Fluttershy jumped, unable to believe what she just did.

Sinking to her haunches, she and Rarity began to cry, looking at the frozen Twilight. Rarity was speechless, while Fluttershy could not manage with her newest sin. "I- I- Oh Celestia what have I done? I shot my friend..."

"Really?" Twilight finally asked. "You really just shot me."

"Twilight!" Rarity and Fluttershy cried in joy. "You're alright!"

"Well of course I am," Twilight scoffed. "I am Magic after all. You're weapons not going to work, Shy."

"Good! I can't handle this anymore! But may I ask why not?" Fluttershy asked, trowing the useless object to the ground, swearing to never let it's evil corrupt her again. It had lead to her trying to kill her friend, and she would never forgive or forget that.

"Because, the batteries are almost dead..." Twilight giggled. Fluttershy facehooved, knowing she had forgotten something this morning when she got ready.

"How did you know that?" Rarity whispered, not wanting to rain on Twilight's victory.

"I didn't," Twilight confessed. "I honestly just guessed."

"Good guess. If you ever risk your life again though, I'll kill you if you survive," Rarity said as she nipped Twilight's lip before kissing her.

"Twilight, I'm-" Fluttershy began.

"Don't. You were corrupted by that, that thing... Hey, I recognize that!" Twilight shouted, looking to the devise. "The Doctor had that in his place."

"Mr Orange?" Fluttershy asked, looking to the device again and remembering that Clock had called himself the Doctor once. This must have been part of his crime fighter gimmick. "Why?"

"Beats me?" Twilight shrugged. "But I think you had better lose the costume Shy, we're about five minutes out."

The Mare Do Well sat perched in the rafters of the train station, rocking a bit as she flexed her muscles. She was ready. She had stealth, surprise, and vantage point on her side. This time, she knew were the bad doctor was, and that would be the villains downfall. Too many times had this- this hack, made a fool of her. But this time, she was ready. She had never been so ready. She slid out a length of rope, tying a lasso and readying her trap. It was foalproof.

The train slid into the station, and before it even stopped, ponies were throwing themselves to the platform, desperate to get away. She was ready. There were no reports from the car taken over, but by all accounts, the doctor was still aboard. She would pay for her interference, the innocent she had harmed, the- is that Rarity? And Fluttershy too? And- And...

"Oh my gosh..." The mare drawled as she slumped in shock. "Ah can't believe it... Twilight's back," Applejack laughed as she pulled off her mask. "So much fer the plan Amy..."

"What? We had her! She was on the train!" Amy cried, slinking out of the shadows next to Applejack. The plan had been the old switcheroo. Get Dr Adorable to attack AJ with the beam, and when it failed, take her down in her shock. It had no effect on non-unicorns, and Applejack was more than skilled and ready. It was perfect, and now...

"Guess she fled..." Applejack offered.

"Bucking hell. Well, let's get changed, I think I saw Twilight down there," Amy snorted, then chuckled. "She's been gone a long time."

"True enough. Come on, she'll be headin to the Castle."

The gang of three made their way through the streets of Canterlot, heading over to the castle. Fluttershy was quieter than usual, probably because not ten minutes ago, she had tried to kill one of her friends. And bless them, bless them for all they could be blessed for, they forgave her, and apologized as soon as they could. But now at random, Twilight waived to a rooftop, or winked at a bush. It was grating the butter colored mare, and she had to know why.

"Because," Twilight smiled, "Applejack is hiding in that bush."

"Gosh Darnit! How'd ya know Twilight?" Applejack asked as she poked her head out of the bush in question.

"Years of Practice AJ. It's so good to see you," Twilight smiled as she walked over and hugged the mare. "By the way, saw you in the rafters at the station."

"What?" Applejack asked, then laughed it off. "Guess y'all got a whole new bag of tricks, huh Twi?"

"Something like that. Tell Amy to get down here, we need to see the Princess," Twilight laughed as she pulled Applejack over to the others, and towards the castle.

"I'm sorry Lady Sparkle, the princess is dealing with a terrorist attack on the train. Some pony tried to foalnap a royal court member." Dusty Trails said, bowing his head.

"Oh dear, I hope everypony is alright," Twilight feigned innocence, a lie not lost on Dusty. "Is it alright then if we wait inside?"

"Of course my Lady," Dusty bowed, opening the door for the gang of mares. They all walked in, and settled into the cushions, happy to be together again.

"So Amy, what have you and Applejack been up to?" Twilight asked as she took her seat.

"Oh mare, hope you're comfortable, cause this is a story," Amy laughed, sitting forward. "It all started six months ago..."

"Commissioner," The Mare said from the shadows, same as she always did.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I'm the Captain," Shining Armor groaned. "And it took you long enough. We have a new wanna be villain out there."

"So? This is your work," The mare asked calmly.

"This new mare, Dr Adorable she's called, has some sort of new technology. She's not much of a threat, but that tech is, if it fell into the wrong hooves." Shining said as he passed a folder into the darkness. "Take her out. I need public support on this, and I believe if the citizens see another citizen rise up against the ELE publicly, they will start to fight back."

"You got it Captain," The Mare said, sliding back into the darkness.

"And try to not make out with any victims this time," Shining chided, making the Mare falter. "Say hi to Applejack for me."

"Seriously?" Amy cried, stepping forward and pulling off her mask. "Can't we keep this professional?"

"The reporters left when they thought you slipped into the shadows," Shining smiled.

"You jerk," Amy joked, sticking out her tongue.

"See you Thursday for dinner?"

"Yeah. See ya then," Amy sighed as she slipped past and down the stairs. The fact that the media believed her to be more than mare helped her more than her magical skills ever did.

But soon, she laid in wait, ready to spring a trap on the so called doctor. But she had to admit, looking at that girl from this distance, she was rather adorable...

"Please, I only wanna see the Mare Do Well," She begged, turning this way and that. Oh goddess she was seriously that bad. This should be quick.

"Here I am," The Mare Do Well growled, slipping out of the shadows behind the shy villain. "What do you want?"

"Please, I really want into the ELE," The villain pleaded, "I just need to defeat you to get in. I'll only hurt you a tiny bit, I swear."

"Foal, go home. I have no time for games," The Mare snorted.

"Please Amy-" The villain begged. The Mare's blood ran cold. "Oh buck..."

"I have no clue who you think I am, foal, but I've had enough," The Mare snarled as she drew out her rope. The timid villain fumbled with a devise on her side, slowly pointing it at the Mare, shaking like a leaf.

"Please, be kind enough to stay down," Dr Adorable asked, readying the weapon. Before she could ask politely again, her wing slipped, and squeezed off a burst. It was fast, and their distance short. The wave hit the Mare square in the chest, and sent her to the ground screaming in agony. "Oh no! I didn't mean to do that!" The evil mare cried, rushing to aid her victim. "I'm so sorry."

"What the buck kind of villain are you?" The Mare screamed, managing to get to her hooves alone. "I won't forget this. Mark my words Dr Adorable! I'll bring you to justice, and make sure that- that thing never hurts anypony again!"

"Wow," Twilight gasped, hugging Rarity tight as the story reached it's climax. Fluttershy was hiding under the table, though Amy and Applejack had no idea why exactly. "What happened next?"

"We played cat and mouse for months, every time I was just seconds from victory, she would use that thing against me."

"I'm sorry," Fluttershy said, peaking her head out. "To hear that, I mean."

"Thanks Shy. I wish this scum ball villain was as good as you," Amy smiled, nearly killing Fluttershy with guilt.

"Well, I wouldn't worry about her anymore," Twilight smiled.

"Not a chance. She knows my real name. I'll never rest til I know she's out of commission." Amy snorted.

"Oh," Twilight whispered, and looked to her lover. "Should I tell her the truth then, my love?"

"The truth?" Rarity asked, not following. But she caught on quick enough. "Oh darling, I couldn't bare to." Rarity was quite skilled at being dramatic, and thank the heavens, for once it was helpful, selling the story as she pretended to cry.

"There there my love, she's gone now, I promise," Twilight cooed, rubbing the white mare's back.

"Umm, what?" Applejack and Amy both asked.

"She attacked us on the train. I got everypony off the car, then I- I," Twilight choked up, and though her acting skills paled in comparison to Rarity's, they were good enough for the task at hoof. "I used my magic to banish her to the moon."

"The moon?" Amy asked, and for a second Twilight worried she would not buy it. "How? She has anti-magic stuff?"

"I've not had an easy 5 years lately." Twilight explained.

"5 years?" Applejack asked.

"It's a long story," Twilight sighed.

"Well Ah'll be. Twilight, yer magic always impresses me rightly, Ah tell ya what." Applejack smiled.

"If you say she's gone, I believe it," Amy smiled.

"Oh yes, Dr Adorable is gone. I don't think anypony will ever hear from her again," Fluttershy said, rising up just above the table now.

"Well, it's not justice, but at least nopony else will ever be hurt by that mare. Did you destroy her weapon?" Amy asked.

"Yeah. Fluttershy smashed it for us," Twilight said, looking to the shy mare.

"Thanks Shy. You have no idea how many lives you saved by doing that," Amy smiled.

The door opened now as light flooded the room, and a very chipper deity walked in. "Hello my little ponies," Celestia smiled, and bee lined to her student for a long over due hug. "Tell me all about your travels Twilight."

"And that sums it up your highness," Twilight lied. She was neglecting to tell her and Rarity the full truth, but she would, in time. She left out a detail about a debt paid to send a message, or to bring her home for that matter.

"My word," Celestia gasped, "You've had quite the year."

"Thanks," Twilight smiled. Rarity cleared her throat though, telling Twilight she had not made such a clean get away.

"Darling, last night, in your sleep, you mentioned something called Slender... What was that?"

"Oh, I left him out, huh," Twilight groaned. "Slendermane. He's an odd pony thingy, always came by asking me for... tree fiddy, if I have that right." Twilight lied. Rarity could tell it was a lie, but left it at that. Twilight was protecting her this way, and she would have to accept that.

"Mmhmm. Darling, may I speak with you in private. I'm worried about you," Rarity said, taking her lovers hoof into her own.

"Of course," Twilight nodded. letting the fashion icon lead her away. Once outside, Twilight tried to explain. "Rare, listen, I-"

She was sealed off by a kiss, one that caught her off guard, but was more than welcome. "Darling, I get why you would lie to me. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I understand that you have had troubled times of late. A lot of bad has happened to you now. I want to be the good that happens from here on out."

"Rarity," Twilight gasped as she cried. "I- I love you..."

"I love you too," Rarity cried as she hugged her love tight.

"There is something then, that I need to tell you," Twilight managed. She had never wanted to tell Rarity like this, but it was now or never.

"What is it my love?"

"The price I paid to Hades to come back," Twilight managed. "When I finally die, of old age or whatever, I am to serve him as his new right hoof mare."

"Twilight," Rarity gasped. "I- I don't know what to say about this..."

"I never wanted to worry you. But that is my fate after life," Twilight said, looking down at her hooves.

"You sold your soul to see me, to save me..." Rarity gasped, "Then you shall not be alone my love!"

"What?" Twilight asked, taken aback by the outburst.

"I shall talk to Hades myself if needed, and stand beside you in the next world. I never want to be separated from you again my love."

"Rarity," Twilight gasped, her turn to cry now. "I don't know what I did to deserve a marefriend as wonderful as you," Twilight sobbed, happily.

"You were simply you. That's all you ever needed to do, and all you ever have to do my love."

"I love you Rarity," Twilight whispered, hugging her lover tight.

"And I you. But Twilight," Rarity said sitting up. "If you ever sell your immortal soul again without my consent, I'll whip your sweet flank til you can no longer walk."

"Mmm, maybe we can do that anyways," Twilight smiled. "I love it when you talk dirty to me."

"You call that dirty?" Rarity asked. "I'll make you eat those words, my little slut." The white mare purred.

"Oh buck yes," a voice from behind said, making both mares freeze. "Umm... ignore the voice in the false pillar..."

"Princess," Twilight rolled her eyes. "You need to get laid."

"I know."

"Well, there goes my mood," Twilight laughed, and Rarity joined in. It was good to be together right now, and no force in this universe would ever separate them again.

"Fluttershy," Twilight said as she lead the shy mare outside, sitting her down overlooking the garden. "We need to talk."

"Twilight, I'm so sorry. I-" Fluttershy began.

"You don't need to say anything Fluttershy, I get it. You have feelings for Rarity too. Heck, how can anypony not have feelings for Rarity? But please understand, she made her decision," Twilight begged of her friend.

"I do understand, now. It was just.... So hard for me so many months ago...." Fluttershy managed. "You were gone, Rarity was in so much pain, and I just couldn't stop myself. I wanted to reshape the world.... No, that's a lie..." Fluttershy corrected. "I wanted the feeling of power, because I thought maybe Rarity would love me then..."

"Come on," Twilight said standing up, "We better get heading back now. Don't want to miss our favorite superstar in Ponyville tonight."

"Def Leopard is going to be in town?" Fluttershy asked.

"Sweetie Belle." Twilight corrected.

"Oh, yeah... Her too," Fluttershy smiled guiltily.

Back in Ponyville, the four mares were happy as could be reuniting with their three compatriots. Or four, considering Pinkie's one on the way. For the first time in years it seemed, the gang was back together. And just in time, as the train pulled out to make way for the next, specifically, the one Sweetie Belle and the others were on. With a hiss of steam, the train stopped, and ponies began to spill out. But a large amount stayed on board, trying to get a hoof print from their favorite teen rock star, Sweetie Belle. She, along with Scootaloo and Apple Bloom, pushed their way forward off of the train, as the swarm followed them.

"Heya sis," Apple Bloom greeted, the first to be free of the crowd.

"Howdy Bloom. Have fun?" Applejack asked, hugging her sister.

"Loads. Now, I think I have a real bed somewhere," Apple Bloom joked, but her baggy eyes and drooping tail told of how tired she was.

"Oh, hey there. Hi. Nice to see you. Here, have a print," Sweetie said coming up to the group, to tired to realize she had just handed Twilight a autograph, or that Twilight was here. But one filly did notice her. She was too tired, and too busy kissing Spike to care about much else.

"You," Scootaloo managed, laying eyes on the lavender mare. "Glad to see you're not dead after all." Her voice lacked any favor, as if she was hurt to see Twilight again.

"Scootaloo," Twilight smiled, one that was full of pain.

"Thanks for leaving me like that, it was really nice going to school after that. I'm tired, see ya later," Scootaloo said, adjusting the saddlebags she wore.

"You're more than welcome at the library," Twilight offered.

"See ya at home RD," Scootaloo said, taking off and flying towards the cloud house.

"Is she.... going to be alight?" Twilight asked, her heart breaking like never before.

"More than likely. She loved you as a foster parent," Rarity expalined. "Then you just up and vanish on her, after saying you never would. It hurt her, darling. It hurt all of us."

"I didn't mean to..." Twilight cried as Rarity hugged her tight.

"Just give her time," Rainbow Dash supplied. "She's a good kid. I'll talk with her tomorrow."

"Thanks," Twilight sobbed as she looked over to a stallion on the platform, wrinkling his nose at the display of Twilight and Rarity hugging.

"Damn foolers. Get a bucking room," He spat at the pair.

"Did he just call me a fooler?" Twilight asked, letting go of Rarity.

"Darling, please," Rarity asked, trying to stop the coming storm.

"Hey there jerk," Twilight yelled at the pony, "You have a problem with lesbians?"

"Yeah," He said puffing up in defiance. "Get a room you you delinquents."

"Oh, oh that does it. I was nice before. I was so nice."

"Twilight, stop," Rarity begged, "There's no need to-" She was cut of as Twilight spun around and swept her up into a kiss. A tad sloppy and showy for Rarity's tastes, but a damn good kiss none the less.

"Do I need to make my point again?" Twilight asked of the disgruntled stallion.

"Yes please," Rarity asked, nodding vigorously.

"We're here to stay, so go buck yourself if you have a problem with that," Twilight said for a matter of fact.

"Taint right," The stallion mumbled. "You're a disgrace to the princess."

"Which one? Cause I slept with Luna," Pinkie supplied.

"And I had a one night stand with Princess Celestia," Fluttershy meekly offered, though her confession caught every ponies attention.

"You what? When?" Twilight asked, deadpanned.

"The Winter Moon Coronation..." Fluttershy supplied.

"Huh," Twilight finally managed. "Celestia can get some ass after all... I owe her an apology..."

"Should I write a letter about that?" Spike asked, searching for his quill and paper.

"No, not tonight, Spike. But thank you," Twilight dismissed. "Come on, let's go home."

"Oh, oh!" Pinkie exclaimed, "It's kicking! It's kicking!"

"Times sure have changed," Twilight laughed as she and the others took turns feeling the party machine's foal kick. The stallion huffed off in anger, and would have to stay that way, because times were changing, weather he liked it or not.

Inside a box, a big blue box hurdling through time and space, a colt was scratching his head in confusion.

"Ditzy? What ever happened to my new sonic hairdryer? All I have is this regular one..."

"Huh, lemme see that," Ditzy said as she walked over, and poked around the device. "Oh, my bad. I think I mixxed up yours and Fluttershy's order last week."

"Oh drat. That hairdryer got just the right bounce to my mane," The Doctor whined.

"You are such a mare sometimes," Ditzy sighed, walking off.