Celestia's Coffee

by Starry Dash

A Nighttime Dilemma

Previous Chapter

     Celestia hummed as she lowered the sun carefully until it could move along on its own before shaking the pink chemical in the vial. She was taking her free time to mess around with a Sleeping Solution in the castle laboratory to see if she can somehow make it last for different periods of time. So far her expiriment wasn't going well.

      With a frown she dabbed a pinch of powdered ruby into the mix and carefully put the now magenta potion into a glass filled with bubbly blue liquid, blending the colors together to make a beautiful violet. Celestia held her breath, waiting for the result.

     Nothing.

    The princess huffed, secured a pair of safety goggles and delivered a single magical spark into the brew.

BOOM!

    The explosion was quick and barely did any damage, but when she looked up, Celestia could see the small burnt dent that it had created.

    She shed her burnt safety goggles, tied her multicolored, ethereal mane into a bun, and sighed in regret as she thought of what her team of manestylists would say when they found out that their hard work had nearly been singed.

    Especially when they find out that the reason for the barely escaped situation failed miserably and that her Sleeping Solution was a no-no.

    Celestia cringed at the thought and sealed the glass potion with a cork and magic, putting it on the far end of the table. Perhaps ruby powder was no good. Come to think of it, since when was there powdered ruby in her lab?

    Princess Celestia levitated the small box of ruby powder and inspected it. One sniff was enough to let her know that it was chili powder. The type of spicy that came from a Coltolina Reaper and a Ghost Pepper combined.

    She growled savage and useless threats under her breath. If this was Luna's idea of an early April Fool's, it was a good fifteen miles away from funny. It could have killed her, disengrated the castle into dust and create an explosion so big it would have reached past the rift of time and space.

    There was a gentle knock on the door. Celestia looked up and, praying it wasn't her head manestylist, Mane Cut, opened the door with her magic. But her visitor was unexpected.

    ". . . Luna?"

    Her sister was standing in the doorway, her head bowed and her usually drifting mane hanging limply. The princess' regalia was discarded, and an odd, coffee brown glow surrounded her.

    Celestia fearfully took a step forward, which she regretted at once. Luna raised her head slowly, and Celestia let out a horrified gasp.

    Her eyes were wide and her pupils had shrunked to an abnormal size. Her mouth was curled into a demonic grin, and her teeth were pointed. She suddenly laughed, a deep, echoing sound that challenged Celestia's courage.

    "Luna is long gone, Celestia," whispered Luna. Or what Celestia hoped was still Luna, anyway. "But you. . . you are standing here, in front of me, without a clue of-" she suddenly let out a strangled cry and her body shook. A gargled scream passed through her lips and she fell to the marble floor. There was a moment of silence before Luna looked up, confused. Realization suddenly dawned on her face. She got on her hooves and dashed right in front of Celestia.

    "Celestia, you must destroy every drop of coffee in Equestria, or Nightmare Moon will kill you and-" she gasped and her body shook again. Luna appeared to be fighting it with all her might.

    When Luna looked up, Celestia thought that she looked much more like Nightmare Moon.

    "You may have not known it, but you have handed me the exact tool I needed to dominate Equestria! The wondrous liquid that can keep me up every hour of the day!" she cackled, standing up with a twitching body.

    A single strike of thunder shot through the ceiling, and blue electricity surrounded her body, which was slowly morphing into Nightmare Moon.

    "Get away from my sister you monster!" snarled Celestia. Nightmare Moon's laughter became louder.

    "With coffee by my side, I will be the most powerful pony in Eques-!" she suddenly stopped short. Then her mouth formed the most infuriating smirk Celestia had ever seen.

    "You know, it was and April Fool's prank," she said in a low tone, pulling over the box of fake ruby powder and sifting it around."But it was really a supposed war weapon." she turned the box upside down to make all the powder fall to the floor. Nightmare Moon's horn glowed and a single dark blue spark appeared on the pile.

    "If creates a small explosion with a pinch, how much more with a boxful?"

    And then Celestia realized what she meant, but it was a moment too late.

BOOM!


    "AHHHHHHHH!"

    Celestia woke up to a sweaty body, a dark room and a blanket. There was a moment where she shivered at the thought of Luna turning into Nightmare Moon because of her again.

   The doors burst open.

    "Princess Celestia, is there anything wrong?" one of the two pegasi guards asked, aiming his spear around the room.

    "N-nothing," she lied dismissively. She was sure they could sniff out her lie from a mile away. Or five. Or a million. "You may return to your posts now."

    When the pair had closed the doors and returned to their stations as ordered, Celestia immediately wished they were back. The dark awfully freaked her out. Maybe they could have entertained her with a story about last weekend. Or perhaps, retold the story of the White Flower of Dry Sands, wherein the fabled Queen Wintaria journeyed enemy territory in search of her daughter, Princess Nightingale.

     A moment passed in which Celestia thought about how Lunar Song could have left Nightingale before she fell asleep to a new sway of dreams.

    She was rowing merrily down a river of milk. Her subjects, the Singers, called to her in greeting, a few dipping buckets into the milk and others doing their own thing.

    Her lovely country, Tuning, had been running smoothly as of late. No new attacks of hawks, their worst enemy. She had just lately checked the Crystal Note, the kingdom's source of protection. Her sweet neice, Cadence, was just fine as well. Oh, how she hoped nothing wrong was going to happen.

    A loud, off-key screech was suddenly heard overhead. Celestia stopped rowing and saw a pure white hawk with blue wings fly high up. Her subjects began to scream and run, and she took off in flight - she had to get back to the castle, fast.

    Upon landing at the main street directly in front of the castle, she saw that there was already a war going on in Tuning. Several hawks were attacking her little ponies, and the bigger ones were destroying the buildings while the army was fending them off excellently.

    Celestia could only pray that her neice was safe. But where was she?

     "Cadence!" she called as loud as she could before jumping up and blasting a beam of yellow light at a swooping hawk. When the hawk fell on the ground, she saw Cadence trying to defend herself from two fully-grown hawks. With a pant, she blasted two more beams of magic at them. "CADENZA!"

    Cadence ran up to her, levitating a book.

    "Auntie, I know what's the name of their head hawk!" she cried. "Look, see, the species is called the Shinearmor-hawk, the white one with the blue wings. The head hawk has the most horrible screech, and could destroy five-hundred music notes in two screeches!"

    Celestia began to think fast, then looked seriously into Cadence's eyes.

    "You have to take the Crystal Note and leave Tuning. You and the Note cannot exist without the other. Here, take it-" Celestia summoned the Crystal Note, a beautiful, baby blue crystal in the shape of a single note. "-Go!"

   Cadence looked at her in shock.

    "Auntie, I can't leave you here! I won't leave anypony!" Celestia looked over her shoulder. The head hawk had just notuced them.

   "Cadence, I love you, and I love my kingdom. You must leave with the Note and I'll fend them off for you. I can send a search party when it's over," she said. The Shinearmor-hawk was nearing.

   "I'm not leaving! I'll stay here, I'll be by your side!" Cadence said, tears streaming from her eyes. The  Shinearmor-hawk was alarmingly close.

   "I love you, Princess Cadence. Vous serez toujours notre musique." Celestia cast the teleportation spell on her before Cadence could reply. Now, if her estimation was correct. . . .

    The Shinearmor-hawk pounced.


   A torturous sun beam crept through the rip in the blasted window curtain. With a groan, Celestia rolled over so her muzzle was buried deep in to her soft pillows, the scent of earth and nature coming from an artificially made plant on her desk.

    Growling, she desperately used a feeble bit of magic to stick together the rip. Unfortunately, being very sleepy and lazy, the thought of sticking the rip together slipped from her mind, and the curtain shed the sunlight again. With a loud yelp, Celestia rolled off her bed accidentally and fell onto the floor with a soft bump.

     What she seriously needed now was a good cup of coffee.

    The rest of the morning was fairly normal. She had her mane curled, regalia polished and all her letters were neatly stacked on her study desk, ready for being pursued in later hours.

    As a servant passed her the morning paper, she noticed Princess Luna prancing across the room and sitting down next to her.

     "You're awfully early. Did you sleep right after dinner?" asked Celestia, unfolding the newspaper and sipping on her coffee. She suddenly spit out the liquid over the newspaper. "Ugh! What did those cooks do?" a servant rushed over hurriedly.

      "Why is my coffee cold?" she demanded of him. Luna sniggered. Celestia went red and shot her an icy glare that Luna ignored.

       "I-we're sorry, Your Majesty. We must have mixed up your coffee with one we left outside last night."

       Her magic tore the newspaper in half as she gave the servant a heated stare.

       "May I ask why you left a cup of coffee out?" she said through gritted teeth, crumpling the newspaper loudly, each syllable passing through her lips with unneeded venom.

       "We kept getting anonymus orders for coffee last night, I think we made - um - five hundred too many. . . " stuttered the servant. The newspaper burst into flames.

"FIVE HUNDRED?!" screamed the Sun Goddess in the Royal Canterlot voice.

       "Y-yes, P-princess," whispered the poor pony, dizzy from the impact her voice's volume set on the Canterlot Palace.

       "Give them a break, Tia," reprimanded Luna, sipping on her orange juice, not in the least swayed by her older sister's outburst. "They can't always recover quickly from the Royal Canterlot voice like we do."

       Celestia said nothing but pressed together her lips and accepted the brand new newspaper from the same  servant. It took her a while to find something that would change the subject and retorted,"How come you're not cranky as I am? You're being forced to wake up during a time that is opposite your job."

        Luna simply arched an eyebrow as she swallowed her perfect meal of honeyed oats, with milk on the side, and fruit, plus organic hay.

        "If it helps, I wasn't woken up at all."

         The new newspaper was reduced into ashes which fell on her eggs, juice, water and rice. The exact same servant groaned as Celestia's eyes drilled into Luna's.

         "What did you say?"

         "I stayed up all night drinking all kinds of coffee," replied the younger monarch nonchalantly.

          Celestia's eye twitched.