Would It Matter If I Was Yer Cuz?

by Vengeful Spirit

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Random
Length: 1168

As Caramel and Applejack are about to plummet to their deaths over the edge of a waterfall, Caramel breaks out a hypothetical question to his marefriend.

As Caramel and Applejack are about to plummet to their deaths over the edge of a waterfall, Caramel breaks out a hypothetical question to his marefriend.

Artwork by BlacksWhites. That's some mighty fine doodles right there, so please go show the fellers some love. ;)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-19 02:30:02 UTC

Could It?

Would It Matter If I Was Yer Cuz?

The water lapped up against the edge of the barrel, the whole wooden cylinder slowly pooling water. Applejack didn't want to look at what was coming. She knew that there was no way that even her lithe figure could wiggle her way out of the ropes she was bound by.

"Hey Applejack?" Caramel asked, not even bothering to struggle anymore. "Ye might as well relax."

"Consarn it, Caramel!" she shouted, twisting her neck in the hopes of getting her teeth around the ropes. No dice. "Ah know we ain't got the best chances, but if I have to die, I'd rather go out fightin'!"

"Applejack..."

The stubborn mare tugged and pulled. She could hear the rising roar of the coming rapids even as she struggled. She'd be damned if she'd let some stupid waterfall be the death of her!

"Just give me a minute, you stupid waterfall!" she shouted. Her normally tight-kept mane was loose, flailing about as the wind whipped down the canyon. She tried to suck up the courage to face what she knew was coming for her, but...she couldn't. What would Apple Bloom think of her if her own big sister couldn't save herself? What would the little filly think if she'd left her the same way their parents had all those years ago.

No! She'd have none of it! Applejack ducked her head back down with renewed vigor, biting, gnawing, gnashing at anything that would give hold. She had to try!

"Applejack."

The orange mare ignored him. As dearly as she loved her darling Caramel, she had bigger things on her mind right then.

"Applejack. Stop."

"I can't!" she shouted. Why was her vision getting so blurry? No, she couldn't. "Not again!"

"Applejack..."

Applejack, Applejack. All that stallion could seem to do was say her name over and over, as if that'd help their current situation! There she was, tugging at the ropes and trying to get an even footing, but all she could do was here his incessant yammering!

"App-"

"Consarn it all, Caramel! Can't you see we're about to die?!"

She almost thought she heard him sigh. "I know, Applejack. Trust me; I know."

"Then what're you doing? Get a move on!"

"Applejack."

Applejack groaned. What would it take to get it in this stallion's thick skulls what mortal peril they were in?! She could see the water speeding up, the mist foaming off towards the edge of the cliff.

"Applejack, there's nothing you nor I can do now but wait."

Damnit, why'd that stallion have to always be so darn practical? She couldn't even entertain the idea that that might be what it was she liked so much about him.

"I...I know, Caramel."

She couldn't see it, but she knew he was smiling. Not a happy, joyous smile, but rather the smile of a pony who knew his fate, had fought it, and finally came to accept it. The smile of a dead pony.

"For what it's worth, it's been fun."

"Likewise."

Even with the roar of the rapids and the deep boom of water crashing onto solid stone a few hundred meters below, Applejack felt a moment of peace. There was a serenity to seeing death, knowing it was waiting for her with open arms.

"Applejack?"

"Yeah, Caramel?"

"Um, I know now's not the best time, but..."

"But what, Sugarcube?" Seeing as they were about to die, Applejack would probably answer just about any question he could make at that point.

"W-would it matter?"

"Would it matter if what?"

"Well, y'know, if we were cousins?"

Applejack giggled. What a silly question! As if he could possibly be Apple Fam- Wait a moment. Something wasn't right.

"Are ye?"

"Would it matter?"

Applejack thought about it. The Apple Family dated back dozens of generations, had seen countless ponies come and go over the years. Maybe she could say with certainty that he wasn't a first cousin, but she had no way of knowing beyond that. How could she possibly know if they were related?

Then that brought up the question that had southerners everywhere trying to deny genetics. What about inbreeding? While Applejack hated to think that such a thing was even a factor, she was a mare of truth and could never rest easy knowing that she was hiding from such clear evidence.

What about the foals? If they'd lived long enough to have them and really were cousins, what if their kids were born malformed with extra limbs and a dozen pairs of green-grey eyes. Applejack shuddered. While second and third cousins were far less likely to cause such genetic issues, such inbreeding certainly added up over generations.

Then again, they were about to fall off of a cliff together. Cousins or no, she was about to die with the pony she loved, ready to face certain death. At that moment, Applejack couldn't think of any reasons to deny her true feelings, even if he was related. In the grand scheme of things, caring that much over such a little detail seemed petty.

"No." Applejack bit her lip. With a bit more resolve, she said, "No, it wouldn't."

"That's good to hear." Caramel nudged his elbow back, trying to at least hold a few fleeting moments of contact with his marefriend before fate could catch up with them.

Applejack watched as their little barrel caught up with Destiny and took a dive for Hades.

She didn't even feel the impact.

"GAAAAAHHHH!!!"

Applejack screamed, shooting upright in her bed. Her breaths were ragged as her mind tried to catch up to the present, every moment another piece of pain. She hadn't had a nightmare that bad in years.

"Applejack!"

The orange mare slowly got to her hooves, staggering a little before trotting over towards her door.

"Applejack, are you alright?!" asked a concerned brother of hers. She chuckled. He always seemed to clam up in public, even with his skill in fancy things like mathematics. It was a delight when they were alone and he could open up to her.

"Coming, Big Mac!" she shouted, quickly shedding her old-fashioned nightgown to look more presentable. She ran a quick brush through her hair to make sure it looked alright, giving herself a wink in the mirror before turning back towards the door. "I'll be just a moment!"

Wait, had she just winked at herself? Hay, had she just run a brush through her mane before trying to let Big Mac of all ponies in? It wasn't like she was trying to impress him or anyth-Oh.

"No." Applejack bit her lip. With a bit more resolve, she said, "No, it wouldn't."

Maybe she was missing the forest for the trees here, huh?

"Sis, you can always just-"

Big Mac was cut off as a pair of orange hooves wrapped around his withers, a luscious pair of lips meeting his. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad after all?

The End