May the Baddest Bitch Win!

"So what's her deal?" Gilda asked, taking a sip of her shake, her arm wrapped around the back of the bench underneath Rainbow Dash's wing.

"Derpy? She's always like that."

"And they let her be a mail carrier?"

"If you're on her route, you sort of expect mixups. But she's pretty good at finding you, even if she can't find your house."

"Weird."

Rainbow Dash took a sip of her milkshake now. In a way, it was almost like the two had never fought before. Sure, Rainbow wasn't about to let Gilda around her other friends anytime soon, but when it was just the two of them, it felt just like old times. After everything that had happened in Griffonstone, she sensed that Gilda had chilled out and done some growing up, but she was glad that some parts of her hadn't seemed to change.

Rainbow Dash had missed the chance to catch up with her old friend in Griffonstone, but now they had a few days all to themselves. With nothing to do in Ponyville, they naturally resorted to pony watching.

"What about that guy?" Gilda asked, pointing to a horribly nerdy stallion with a pencil mustache and thick glasses.

"Poindexter? Yeah, he's kind of a total geek," Rainbow admitted.

"No kidding. You think his mom picked out that bowtie for him?" Gilda snickered.

"Probably. But you wouldn't believe the mare he's dating."

"Is she hot?" Gilda asked incredulously.

"Super hot. You wouldn't believe the ass on her. I'm talking a perfect ten."

"Get out," Gilda said.

"Totally. It's the weirdest thing. No pony can figure out why."

"Maybe he's hung," Gilda said, taking another nonchalant sip.

Dash was already punching her shoulder. "Hey, speaking of hung, boner alert, 2 o'clock!"

Gilda spotted the big red stallion hauling crates in his cart, and the thick erection smacking his belly beneath him. Gilda could even see the other mares averting their eyes or openly staring. "Damn, you weren't kidding. Who is that?"

"That's AJ's older brother, Big Mac. That happens a lot to him, poor guy, but he can't really hide it when he's pulling that cart."

"I don't think he could hide it if it was just himself. That thing could kill a mare."

"Well..." Rainbow Dash, said, rubbing her chest. "Maybe some mares."

Now Gilda glanced over at her friend. "You've fucked him?"

"No, no, Applejack would kill me. But, I mean, let's face it, I'm not a normal mare on the ground, in the sky, and especially in the sack."

Gilda raised her eyebrow at Dash. "You think you're a better lay than me, don't you?" she asked with seriousness like a blade.

Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Gilda, I know I'm a better lay than you."

"Then we'll just have to find some way to settle this once and for all."

A shrill, high-pitched voice erupted from behind them. "Sounds like a party to me!" Pinkie Pie shrieked.