Celestia Gets Demoted

by kittenrobotarmy

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Nightmare Moon, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Random
Length: 2104

Celestia has been an alicorn for as long as she can remember. But all that changes one morning.

Celestia and Luna have always been alicorns. The strength of an earth pony, the wings of a pegasus and the horn of a unicorn are what make them different from other ponies (not including their mane). But one morning, Celestia wakes up to find that she was demoted by the writers for being too mainstream.

This was intended to be stupid.

Published 2015-09-18 14:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-18 14:10:02 UTC

Celestia is ANGRY!!!

The table was shining bright, reflecting the light from above into Celestia's eyes. It was sunlight, thankfully. She never liked artificial light - it just didn't feel right to her. The princess of Equestria was on Earth for a regular meeting with the writers of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic to discuss Season 3. Twilight and her friends didn't know Celestia and Luna planned out all their adventures and battles and it would be best if it stayed that way. Luna was sick, though, so Celestia decided to come alone with a clipboard and pencil to write everything down for her.

The door opened in front of her, with 2 humans entering. There were several writers for the show, so usually the same two people came to discuss the season with Celestia every meeting. Indeed, Amy Keating Rogers and Meghan McCarthy came in to discuss the new season like always. Celestia smiled, levitating her clipboard and pencil.

"Good day, Celestia. Where's Luna?" Amy inquired curiously, eyeing the clipboard that was floating in the air with a yellow aura surrounding it.

"She's sick with a cold and decided not to come. I'm going to write down notes to show her when I get back." Celestia answered, shifting her position in her seat. Human seats were comfortable, but the material that made them always made her butt itch. It was quite annoying to have to constantly move around, and the special seat that was commissioned for her hadn't come in yet.

"Fair enough. Now, we think Season 3 should focus on the relationship between Twilight and you. It's always been obvious that Twilight will become an alicorn eventually, and we think she should at the end of this season." Meghan explained, laying out a paper of notes. They were a list of the challenges they had planned out for her in the season.

"But that would make for four alicorns, don't you think that's a little much? I mean, we kind of found Chrysalis and her hive on a whim to introduce Cadence. If we had four alicorns, viewers would probably say that's too many, too soon. Cadence coming in was rather random, since she had never been mentioned before." Celestia frowned, the pencil moving in elegant strokes across the paper with her magic.

"Yes, exactly. So we feel like one of the alicorns should be.. 'demoted'. They're extremely popular ponies, and having four would be a little too much." Amy made air quotes with the word demoted. Celestia's jaw dropped open. Demoting an alicorn? That was crazy. Just crazy.

"We can't demote Cadence since she was just introduced, and taking away her horn would probably feel rushed and be viewed negatively by the audience. Luna has a huge following and demoting her would make for an interesting extra conflict with Nightmare Moon, but there's no way we can make it work. Nightmare Moon wouldn't really exist anymore, since the only reason she exists is because of Luna's princess status." Meghan looked at Celestia almost apologetically, because she knew the princess would see where they were going. Boy, did Celestia know. Hell, she knew so well that the Royal Canterlot Voice wasn't even enough to express how well she knew.

"YOU WANT TO DEMOTE ME? AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE?! I'VE FUCKING DONE MORE FOR THIS SHOW THAN THE MANE SIX HAVE!" Celestia roared in anger, shattering the glass table. Amy and Meghan covered their ears, and their faces showcased their pain.

But Celestia wasn't done. No, far from it. How could she possibly be done when she could be losing her status on the show?

"YOU ARE GOING TO ALLOW ME TO KEEP MY STATUS AND ALLOW MY FAITHFUL STUDENT TO BECOME AN ALICORN! THIS IS A DISGRACE! I FEEL ASHAMED TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU!" After this rant, Celestia stormed out of the room, leaving the two women to tend to their bleeding ears. But as soon as she turned the corner, Celestia felt weak and dizzy. Maybe the Voice had weakened her? She never did use it, after all.

But her efforts to keep walking and stay balanced were to no avail. Celestia collapsed, hoping she could teleport herself back to Canterlot...

"Aah!" Celestia woke up in the night, moonlight shining through the window. She was drenched in sweat, as though the dream had been a horrible nightmare. Not had been, was. She was going to lose her wings. But it was just a dream, right? Of course it was. She stretched out her wings. However, now that she thought about it, her sides seemed oddly.. cold. Very cold, in fact. Pegasi wings usually prevented that from happening, especially considering how large Celestia's were. "No... it can't be true."

Eyes wide and the skin stretched tight, the princess glanced at her sides. Her cutie mark, a sun, was there. Nothing else. There was no wing on her right side. Panicked, she turned onto her other side. No wing. "My wings are gone. My wings are gone. My wings are gone." She whispered to herself frantically, but she found herself to be strangely calm. Almost immediately she discovered why when Celestia simply muttered to herself, "Celestia, you're fucked."

The sun was raised with the magic of Celestia's horn. Even with the loss of her alicorn status, she still possessed enough magic to raise the sun. Her cutie mark was probably a part of that - she couldn't just lose her special talent. Shaken, Celestia walked slowly into Luna's room. The princess of the night was at her vanity, styling her mane. But, something was a little.. off. It wasn't a lack of wings or horn, she was still an alicorn. No, it was that Luna's teeth were in spikes and her mane wasn't really even a mane.

"What the actual fuck? Nightmare Moon, what are you doing here?" Celestia was too confused to be scared for Equestria. Frankly, Equestria could go take care of their own problems - she had enough to worry about. Nightmare Moon glanced at Celestia and turned around.

"Yeah, Luna was really angry about how she lost against Cynthia for like the 8th time on her Platinum save or something, so I came to save the day." The pony said casually, getting on her hooves. "Hey, why aren't you delivering some diplomatic speech or trying to kill me? I'm not supposed to return for seasons."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. Cynthia was certainly hard, way harder than she should be, but did it really warrant Nightmare Moon on a sick day? Oh well. "My wings are gone. Apparently the writers want to make Twilight an alicorn and got rid of my wings to make room for her." She muttered, just loud enough for Nightmare Moon to hear. "So, in a nutshell, I'm not technically a princess and you aren't my problem anymore."

Nightmare Moon looked at Celestia with a face that was either surprised, angry or giddy. "Oh, sweet! Maybe Twilight will actually put up a fight when she's an alicorn. Oh - and sorry about your wings. At least you're still really tall." She laughed, but all of Nightmare Moon's laughs sounded evil so it was quite strange.

"I don't think my height has anything to do with it. Cadence isn't incredibly tall, and she's been an alicorn since she was young." Celestia pointed out, with Nightmare Moon irritably shaking her head.

"It was a joke, Celestia. Anyways, if you really want to be angry, go yell at Twilight. It's her fault, really. Oh, and by the way - you didn't lose your wings because room was needed. The writers thought you were too mainstream and decided to cut you out." Nightmare Moon added as she strolled past Celestia and broke one of the windows. She extended her wings and flew out, with guards running out after her.

"Too mainstream? I'm not mainstream, Luna's mainstream! But then again, Nightmare Moon and all." Rolling her eyes, Celestia shook her head and decided to take Nightmare Moon's advice, which normally she would never do. She shouldered the guards out of the way in annoyance. They clung to her like fillies to their parents, asking her where her wings went and what to do about Nightmare Moon. After a particularly heavy male grabbed onto her back leg, Celestia was fuming. In the Canterlot Royal Voice, she bellowed, "LAST TIME I CHECKED, YOU ARE ALL ADULT PONIES! STOP CLINGING TO ME LIKE FILLIES AND USE YOUR DAMN HEADS!" None of the guards had ever heard her royal voice before, and they began to cower. Celestia could've laughed and cried at the sight of grown ponies acting like 2 year olds. She decided to just teleport to Twilight's library - she would definitely be there.

In a flash of yellow, Celestia disappeared and dropped onto the floor of Twilight's home. It was an enormous library that also functioned as a house - she had personally given it to Twilight when she first came to Ponyville. But that didn't matter now. Today, she was going to give Twilight a piece of her mind.

"Twilight Sparkle!" Celestia called out, trying not to let her anger dissolve into her voice. That could wait. A purple head poked out from the second floor.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight squealed like an excited filly. She dropped down onto the floor, running up to the princess. "I'm so happy to see you! Is there something you need from me?" The unicorn asked excitedly, clearly hoping for some kind of mission. Yeah. Give me back my wings. Celestia shook her head and smiled. "No, my faithful student. It seems that fate has been cruel, because I am no longer a princess." Twilight's grin quickly turned to a horrified frown.

"W-what do you mean, no longer a princess? Did somebody overthrow Equestria? What happened to Luna?" Twilight fired off three questions immediately, and Celestia raised a hoof to stop her from asking more.

"No, Equestria is still under my control. But I have lost my alicorn status. My wings have disappeared." Celestia turned and showed her sides to Twilight, who was examining them closely.

"There's no sign your wings were ever here! Do you know what happened to them?!" Twilight was poking Celestia all over, probably trying to imitate a doctor."

"No, but do you know why they disappeared? It's because of YOU! There are plans to make you an alicorn later this year and they couldn't allow more than three alicorns!" Celestia stomped her hoof, glaring at Twilight. Normally, she would be fair and kind. But now, she looked at her student with the feeling of wanting to rip that purple head off.

"Plans? Alicorn? Me? What?" Twilight listed off the key points of Celestia's previous three sentences while surveying her face with wide, unbelieving eyes. But Celestia did not believe the facade she was putting up. In those wide eyes, Celestia saw the look of joy. The look of relief. In that moment, she had the biggest epiphany she had ever experienced.

"It was you. You put them up to this." Celestia said slowly, her nose touching Twilight's. Twilight's frown slowly spread into a smile.

"Of course I did. How could I possibly advance and become a princess with you in the way? I've always wanted to be a princess, and I knew it should've happened. But who prevented it? You. You ruined my chances season after season. But not anymore!" Twilight's words were muffled with the water in Celestia's ears. Wait, water? What? Everything was blurry, in a shade of blue. Did Equestria become flooded?

"What the fuuuck?!" Celestia screamed, jerking awake.. again. Okay, now she was in some kind of mysterious loop of dreams. Was Luna behind this? No, she couldn't have been. Luna was actually sick, she couldn't perform her duties. With a quick movement, Celestia stood up and glanced at her side. Her wings were there. Breathing a sigh of relief, she put her head in her hooves.

A scuffle behind her made Celestia turn around. Twilight was looking into Celestia's vanity mirror, admiring her new wings. Celestia's jaw dropped, and she looked at her sides again. No wings. "Bullshit."

Celestia tackled Twilight, yanking her wings off with a mouse that appeared out of the air, coloring them white and putting them back on her sides. Celestia pointed her hoove at Twilight's nose and got up close and personal with the unicorn. "If you EVER take my wings again, I will throw you in one of Fluttershy's bunny fires. That's a promise."