Make A Pony

by BlndDog

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 1850

The Princesses get bored and decide to dig up some old spell books. One thing leads to another, and Equestria ends up with not one but two new ponies.

After a disastrous tax cut puts a dent in the royal coffers, Celestia and Luna are stuck cleaning their own libraries. Boredom quickly sets in, and soon the princesses are searching for amusement in a room full of ancient and powerful knowledge.

On a different note, have you ever wondered how the first pony was made?

Written for Equestria Daily's Writer's Training Grounds.

Published 2015-09-18 15:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-18 15:20:03 UTC

She Looks Just Like You!

“Tia, I’m so bored!”

“Me too. But you know what happens when you cut taxes.”

“I thought it would make me popular.”

“Yeah, well now we can’t afford a librarian.”

Princess Celestia’s private library was alive with motion, but the living things in it did not move very much. Dozens of feather dusters and moist rags swept across the shelves and windowsills, brooms and dustpans worked tirelessly, and ancient carpets dusted themselves outside the open window. The two Princesses of Equestria sat across from each other at a big round table, supervising the work through half-lidded eyes. Tibbles the opossum dangled from Luna’s breastplate like a fuzzy ornament. Once in a while she reached up to give him a dry cherry or an almond out of a blue lacquered bowl.

“What do you keep here anyways?” Luna asked, summoning a large volume at random from one of the shelves. “Your Hooves And You: Advanced Sock Enchantments and…”

Celestia leapt across the table and slapped the book out of the air, her face turning red as an apple.

“Luna,” she said as sternly as she could. “This is a private library for a reason. Some of these books contain dangerous arcane knowledge. In the wrong hooves, the spells and potions documented here can destroy the world as we know it.”

“I know that,” Luna scoffed, rolling her eyes. “We split the dangerous arcane knowledge fifty-fifty, remember? I have the Invisible Invincible Monster Book of Invisible Invincible Monsters, you got 10000000000000000000000000001 Ways To Get Rid of Inconvenient Ministers And Justify Your Actions To Future Generations. But you haven’t actually gone through all the books here, have you?”

“Some of it is better left alone,” Celestia said.

“Come on,” Luna said, a smile creeping onto her face. “It’ll be fun. Remember when we used to play with mom’s spell books? Remember the time we summoned a butterdragon?”

“That was a dragon made of butter. We had to clean the entire castle with soap.”

“But it was fun, wasn’t it?”

“Luna, we are the rulers of Equestria. We are supposed to be responsible.” But even as she spoke, Celestia started reading the spines of the less-used books.

“Just a few pages,” Luna begged. “We haven’t done anything like this in over a thousand years. I think you’re the one who’s out of touch these days.”

Celestia slid the book silently off its shelf and made it float over her sister’s head. When it was positioned just right, she released it.

Tibbles screamed and tried to run. Almost immediately he was hopelessly tangled in Luna’s ethereal mane.

“You know how this works,” Celestia said over her sister’s whimpering and the opossum’s angry screeches. “I open the book to a random page, and we do whatever it says, provided it doesn’t harm anypony or threaten all of existence. I need not remind you about the Smooze.”

“It was such a cute little blorp when it was in the cauldron,” Luna said, her eyes glazed with the fog of nostalgia.

“Alright,” Celestia said, closing her eyes and putting her hoof on the cover.

An hour of cleaning was undone in a second when the book opened. There was as much dust as paper in those yellow pages. The volume predated the printing press, and had been put together rather carelessly. There were ink blotches on the page, and it was certainly not written by a scribe.

“I think this was one of Mom’s first spell books,” Celestia said. “My Old Equestrian is a little rusty.”

“Give it to me then,” Luna said, shouldering her sister out of the way. “It’s fresher in my mind.”

Her eyes widened as she scanned the dense black text.

“Creating an adult pony,” she read. “Useful for when you need a friend, or for populating a new town. Use sparingly. Do… not… dry clean?”

She glanced at her sister, who simply shrugged.

“The rest of it makes sense though,” Luna said. “So? Do you think it’s safe?”

“I suppose another pony or two wouldn’t hurt in the long run,” Celestia said. “Prince Blueblood’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather was made like this, I think. Mom really thought you would fall for him.”

“Narcissus was such a flat pony,” Luna said. “He was handsome, but we couldn’t get along in the long run. And he did fine without me. As long as his face stays pretty, there’s not much that could get him down.”

“And his attitude survives to this very day,” Celestia said. “I’m hoping Blueblood doesn’t have kids.”

Luna studied the spell for a few more minutes before she put away her cleaning supplies. Closing her eyes, she focused her magic on the floor in front of her. First she imagined the shape of a horn with three spirals. Then the face. The neck, a torso, legs…

She opened her eyes and jumped back a step. The thing that stood before her resembled a shiny white mannequin of a young unicorn mare.

“Oooh, let me try.”

“But you haven’t even read the spell!”

But Celestia’s horn was already glowing bright. Through squinted eyes Luna saw the shape rising out of a circle of dazzling sunlight on the floor. Each piece of the blank wavered for a moment before becoming solid. It too was a unicorn mare.

“How did you do that?” Luna asked, examining her sister’s blank for any imperfection and finding none. "You didn't even read the spell!"

“I was always better with magic than you,” Celestia said, rustling her sister’s mane. Tibbles had chewed himself free, and was using a chunk of mane as a blanket.

“Right…”

Luna tried to focus on her pony. She should have green eyes. But what else? Should she be blue, or green, or…

”EEEEW! Luna, what did you do?”

“It’s just dye, Tia!”

“Mooooom!!!”

A smile crept onto her face as the memory played out. Her horn glowed, and a short pink coat appeared on the blank.

“That’s nice, Luna,” Celestia commented before turning her attention back to her own blank. She was at a loss for ideas. Before her was infinite potential, and she had no shortage of ponies to model it after. But to make a carbon copy of somepony from Canterlot would raise too many questions.

Her thoughts wandering to more unfamiliar territory, an image of Luna’s guards appeared in her mind. They were fine looking ponies in their own way, but for a long time she had found them hard to trust. Yet for some reason she was fond of them.

It’s perfect.

As Celestia smoothened the new coat on her soon to be living creation, Luna was trying to decide on a mane. Despite her intentions, Luna could not give her the faded rainbow mane of her sister. The mare would have a life of her own, after all. Yellow would work, but what of the style?

Again she recalled times long gone. She went back to the time in her childhood when her sister had a shorter mane. Every morning when she woke up…

Oh, that’s good!

“I really like that,” Luna commented when she looked over to her sister’s work.

Of course she did. Celestia had modeled the lustrous black mane and thick eyelashes after Luna’s centuries-long stint as a teenager. Supposedly her sister grew out of that phase entirely, but Celestia knew better.

And now the cutie mark. She had to perfect idea.

The Black Hearts had been Luna’s favorite band. They lived long before the invention of recording technology, but she still kept their song books. They were never popular with the unwashed masses. Celestia often joked that Luna was the only one keeping them afloat.

“Aaand... I’m done!”

Celestia sat down and put a hoof to her chin. She kept up the act for a whole ten seconds before bursting out in laughter. It was all in the mane; the messy yellow mane that looked like it had been styled with a battle axe.

“I think she looks a lot like you,” Luna said flatly.

“What do you mean?” Celestia asked, frowning.

“Oh, nothing,” Luna said. “Now, let’s give them some life.”

The ponies had bodies, but they did not yet breathe or move. They stood in a neutral pose, their unblinking eyes staring to infinity. It was an eerie sight to behold.

“Oh, this will be so much fun,” Celestia said giddily as her horn started to glow once more.

“Of course,” Luna muttered, a sly smile creeping onto her face.

Unbeknownst to her, Celestia had been listening quite attentively.

Mock me, will you? Two can play at this game.

Luna always had a nasty habit of making a contest of the smallest thing. Celestia didn’t want to admit it, but she enjoyed these impromptu challenges more often than not.

You’re so withdrawn, Luna. But that gives me an idea.

And she’ll be so happy, because everything just works for her!

Does she like death metal? Of course she does! And she’ll be obsessed with the night, and darkness...

Luna’s spell was finished. Now she had only to cast it.

“Whoa, like, slow down.”

The drawling monotone voice made Luna jump. The light grey unicorn that Celestia had made was looking at her with a bored expression. Celestia had taken the liberty to bring her to life with her first layer of eye shadow already applied.

“Luna, this is Selena,” Celestia said.

“Selena?!” Luna repeated, heat rising in her cheeks. That had been a nickname of hers long ago. “It is on, sister!”

Bowing her head purposefully, she blasted her own creation with the powerful spell. The residual magic made the mane even messier than before.

“Hello! Wow! We’re really high up! Is this a castle? Oh, it is! Wow! I’ve never been in a castle before… except I’ve always been in a castle, now that I think about it. Hi, I’m Majesty! Wow, you’re tall! Are those wings? Can I have a pair? I’ve always wanted to fly…”

“You two should get along fine,” Luna declared smugly.

“Oh come on! That’s nothing like me!”

“Well, your Selena is nothing like me!”

And just like that the horseshoes came off, only they didn’t. The two Princesses of Equestria lunged at each other over the table, each wearing four polished shoes. Book shelves toppled over. Epithets were invented. Insults never before spoken became part of the vernacular for a hundred years.

Majesty and Selena watched the fight for some time, one at the edge of her metaphorical seat and the other serene as a grazing cow.

“I think we should go,” Selena said, putting her hoof on the pink mare’s shoulder.

“Alright!” Majesty agreed. “Uh, Princess Celestia! Princess Luna! We’ll just be going now! We’ll stay in touch!”

The fighting stopped instantly. The two alicorn lay frozen like statues, their mouths hanging open. Truth be told, neither of them had a plan for their creation.

The two brand new ponies descended the stairs, one walking and the other bouncing like a rubber ball.

“Luna,” Celestia said slowly. “What have we done?”