Strangers

The night was totally still and chill. Two hours must had passed since I passed out in Swirly’s hooves. I got up, lightly pushing her hoof aside. She was still asleep. I kinda wondered what she was dreaming about, if she was dreaming at all.

There was a feeling that went through me when I looked at her sleeping there. I just…I just couldn’t explain it. When I looked at her, the first thing I saw was the mare that I had planned to spend the rest of my life with. A warmth spread throughout, going to all parts of my body. I couldn’t control it; and it made my body tingle, making me feel like I was asleep far longer than I was. And then I felt pain, knowing that Swirly would no longer be a part of my life after tonight.

At times, during that night, I tried to forget about it all by closing my eyes and nuzzling my face into her black mane, breathing in her scent; but it did no good.

I remembered the time Swirly and I met. It was, like, totally wild and awesome.

I remembered our first Hearth’s Warming Eve. What a smashing time that was. I had taken her out into the snow, and we made snowponies together. After that, she’d make snowballs and chuck them at me—laughing at me when I stumbled face first in the snow. I’d get myself up and hide behind a tree, and, using my magic, I’d annihilate her with so many snowballs. And when I stopped, she tackled me down into the cold ground, and, of course, our mouths would meet and we’d kiss with snow falling on us.

I wondered if she still remembered that. I sure as hell did.

This might sound cheesy as hell, but I’m gonna say it anyway.

The snowflakes that fell on us—during all those winter days—were like lives, our lives. By not watching them, they’d go by in a blink of an eye; and they’d go unseen. However, even when we looked at them, under the moonlight or whatever light source there was nearby, we’d only see them for a second; and they’d be gone with the flow of another zillion more in mere seconds, and I’d wonder if the short glimpses were worth it.

I worried about Swirly ever since she came into my life. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I couldn’t lose it—no way in hell. At times, I would be a clingy bitch and hold her way too close, not wanting her to ever leave my side, simply because I loved her.

Some winter mornings, I’d complain that it was way too cold to go out and do anything, and I’d snuggle close to her—feeling a wing wrap around me—right up against her chest; and we would stay there for the entire day without saying a single word to one another. Hell, some mornings, she’d be the the one complaining about the weather being too cold, and I’d be the one to pull her close. I’d feel her muzzle bury into my chest, and it would make me giggle and wiggle around because of how funny it felt; and it would feel like our bodies were two snowflakes glued together, boogieing around like a bunch of crazies, until the end of time.

I just can’t pin this all down. Why did she have to be stupidly cruel?

She was perfect for me damn it! Why couldn’t this have worked out another way?

Over time, when we decided to take the next step by moving into a place together, I never even asked her about what we would do together while we grow old. The question was hers; and it went from a simple question at first—but then we had a buttload of ideas on what we could do together. One of them was to visit the Crystal Empire together. She would’ve been so stoked if that actually happened with us.

I just…I just couldn’t believe we made it this far, only for us end. We had so much planned. Sure we did some of it, but we barely scratched the surface of everything we wanted to do.

I never expected that—on the first day of us moving in together, planning events that we would do while we got older, knowing that I’d see her divine beige coat and black mane everyday—day to turn out the way it did. I never thought I’d see her face or smile again after the day I walked out on her. But I did.

Yet now, I didn’t have that anymore.

How far apart were we? I mean, really?

I knew where she was: Right next to me, sleeping. So easy on the eye, so perfect.

…!

She moved, but didn’t wake up.

I wanted to run my hooves along her body, letting myself feel her once more. Sometimes, back in the old days with her, I’d stroke her face while she was asleep, going around her fine cheekbones, blocking any tears that I hoped to never see there.

And then come her wings. Her wings always drove me crazy. I’m serious. They were so toned and soft, and I’d rub them for her after she came home from a day of weather patrol. I’d feel her tense muscles and feathers pulse under my hooves, and she’d moan loudly. It was hard to stay there, but it was the only time I got to watch her like that.

I’m sure as hell gonna miss those days….

I lay back down, pulling her closer to me, wrapping my hoof around her. She felt perfect; so perfect that it made me curious as to why she even existed; after all, perfection doesn’t exist. She was so effing perfect that, when I wake up the next day, I’d lose her for good; and that was the truth of it all.

I looked back at her, sleeping by my side. She was a tiny part of my life, and that was the best wrong I could have ever done right—for once in my miserable, little life.

I kissed her on the lips one last time, and said, “You’ll always be a part of me, Swirly. No matter what.”

Just like the old days. Back then, most of the time, I’d snatch a kiss from her while she was asleep; even now her lips still tasted like those winter days we spent together.

She really was an angel at rest, one that only wanted me to be with her forever; and I’d never ask her when she wakes up.

Because we were never going to see one another again…after tonight.