Ponyville nights are often quiet. The lights of the homes and shops that line the streets settle down and eventually blink out just as the stars blink in above them. It is quite easy to see the nightscape above you from any given point. And somenights, I go up to the hills and stare for hours. Until the sun comes up and washes them all away.
The ponies that reside in this town close up their shops for the day. Only a rare little business will stay up all night, but those might have something to do with the night as it is. A hotel within town stays up all night for weary travellers. I work there in the mornings. Hardly anypony ever sees me, though. They rarely see the cleaning pony.
Some nights, though....
While I was out wandering one night, I heard the most chilling scream!!
"SSSSSPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKEEEEEE!!!!!" cut through the library like a hot knife. A shrill incomparable to anything else rocked the entire 'building' and shook the very foundations. The walls trembled. The floors vibrated. Books fell off their shelves. The windows clattered and nearly shattered. The nearest neighbors flicked on their lights in fear of what might happen next.
One baby dragon was sleeping (emphasis: was) when the boom came. He could still hear the echoes as he hung from the ceiling over his basket of a bed. Another loud set of sounds came through as he jumbled through the upstairs and quickly made his way down (trying desperately not to roll). "WHAT?!" he shouted. He looked around to find his 'older sister'. It came from the library itself, but she was nowhere to be seen on the floor.
"Up here!!" she called.
While still trying to get his heart under control from the initial summons, Spike's head and eyes tilted up towards Twilight's voice and found her perched atop one of the bookcases. "What... are you doing up there?!"
"I just saw something horrible!!! You have to take care of it for me!!"
"What is it? Hydra? Dragon? Chimera?" None of which he could actually take on himself, but apparently his need to impress outweighs his skills. And size. A hydra would've eaten him in a single bite.
"I just saw a skunk!! Outside!!"
"I hope it was outside..." he said quietly. "Wait. You've taken on the entire 'Handbook of Mythical Creatures'. And you're afraid ...of a skunk?"
"It was HUUGE!!"
"Well, they are usually about half your size. What'd you expect?!"
"NOO!! This was BIGGER!!! It was almost as big as me!!!"
"Well, then maybe it WAS a pony!! They do live here, you know!"
Twilight's glare could burn holes in the floor if she wanted to. "I think I know what a pony looks like. I also know what BLACK AND WHITE MEANS!!!"
"Well, I think you scared it away. Half the town must've heard you!"
"I want you to go check!! Make sure it's gone!!"
"Me?" Spike asked a bit grumbly. "Why me?"
"Because!! You're my number-one assistant!!"
Spike's eyes narrowed a bit at the use of that term. Kind of a sideways blackmailing method. "Why don't you just take care of it?"
"Oh no!! I've had my fill of skunks!! Remember Winter Wrap-Up?!"
He does, in fact. He was the one scrubbing Twilight with tomato juice for long hours with a noseplug that didn't do squat. He remembers laughing at her being sprayed, but groaning when he had to clean up the mess. He remembers the burning stench flowing through his nostrils against his will. He remembers not being able to smell anything else for two days. "Then go get Fluttershy!! I'm sure she'd love to take care of critters like that!!"
"I am NOT going to wake up Fluttershy at this time of night!"
"But you'll wake ME up...."
"Don't make me give a Royal Decree!!"
Spike's ears and spines shot straight up at the thought. "You wouldn't dare!!!" But, he immediately saw that she just might actually do that to him.
"If I have to go out there myself, I am locking you in the basement WITH it!!!"
The thought occurs to him that all this snippy behavior is just out of fear and exhaustion. If it were during the day, it might not be half this bad. Still... "Fine..." he mumbled as he walked towards the wooden door. He angrily snatched a broom as he passed it. "Purple Tyrant," he groaned.
He came out of the giant tree with a broomstick. The lighting surrounding the tree isn't all that great. If there's nopony inside, or if they're all asleep, there is no light at all. Any outside lighting would depend on what comes through the windows. Often, that's not much either.
"Why do I always have to do stuff like this?" he grumbled.
"Tell me about it," I said back without thinking.
"Who's there?" he asked. "Hello?"
I regretted saying anything. I didn't want to be seen. I just wanted to pass by the library as a shortcut home. And then that blood-curdling scream!! I got scared and ran into the building itself... I was winded and confused. Someone spoke, I answered...
"Is anypony out here?"
I just hid behind one of the larger roots. I don't know how well dragons can see at night. Especially tired, cranky, burn anything that moves dragons who were just launched out of bed by an overdramatic princess.
But, I can see decently. I'm used to being out here at this time. My night vision is pretty good, compared to some of the others. As soon as he leaves, I would bolt out of here myself.
"Wish I could see better," he said to himself. "Oh!! Wait!!" He blew out green fire from his mouth and lit the broom up like a torch. "That's better!" He waved it around (probably not thinking about the harmful effects to the tree) and started looking for anything suspicious. Like me.
And then I ran. It wouldn't take long for him to find me after all that. My legs took me away quickly. I ran for my coveted hill again. He probably heard me take off, but that doesn't matter. I don't think he saw me. I didn't hear anything about it.
And I realized I was running in the wrong direction. But, at least it was away from Pissy Princess and Disgruntled Dragon.
==-==-==
I got to my hill and collapsed. I huffed and I puffed and fell over like a ton of bricks. I rolled to my back and looked up at the stars again. My breathing calmed down before I even realized it.
Luna's Moon was half-full that night. In a few days, it would be full again. At the beginning of the night, the Moon's luminesence obscures some of the stars, but I don't complain.
I tried to forget about what just happened. As long as nopony saw me, there wouldn't be any laughing. Or screaming. Oh. Wait. But they'll forget, right?
I hope they forget. I don't want the laughing. The namecalling. The pranks. The humiliation. Not again!!
When I lay on the hill, nopony can see me in the night. And then, I am at peace. I work mornings at the hotel because nopony will notice me. I sleep during the day so that I can remain unseen. I run through the night when everypony else is asleep and cannot notice me. I don't WANT to be found. I don't WANT to be seen.
There are days.... I don't even want to live....
I heard a story once. Every pony born is painted by Fate. She takes a mystical brush and gives the newly crafted soul a few dabs of color. One for its coat, normally spreading down its entire body. One color, maybe more for its mane and tail. For certain arrogant flyers, there are like twelve. She slides the head of the brush along, giving added personality. In many cases, another color is interwoven as ponies often have distinguishing streaks. And of course another color for the twinkling eyes.
And me?
I think Fate must've been drunk or something. My coat is all black. Black. With all the other lively colors around here, why do I have something so voidful as black? Maybe I got dropped in a paintbucket by mistake. 'Oh, whoops!! But, I can't waste one!!' I would have been pulled out with a marginally apologetic expression.
'What color of tail shall we give you?' The only real color that would've stood out is a brilliant white color. A few mild strokes, and I now have some semblance of an appearance. I would've preferred a completely white mane and tail, but something must've kept her from finishing. A distraction of some sort?
Or perhaps she just had a sick sense of humor. A couple white streaks, and I was finished. Some orange eyes, and the look is complete. After coming to her senses, she probably regretted what she had done. But, it was done just the same. She tossed me into the Rift and I would eventually be born.
Destiny had an equal hand in this. While Fate handles the appearance, Destiny handles the cutie marks that makes us all unique and special. And what does she give me? A flower! A white Moon Flower. I know nothing about botany!! The only reason I know what this is called is because I had to look it up!
And does any other COLT have a flower stamped on their ass?
I didn't think so!!!
I got my mark rather early. I haven't the foggiest idea what to make of it. I've never been into plants, much less flowers. Is that supposed to be a joke? 'Oh, he looks like a skunk. Give him a flower. They'll just tell him its a special destiny.'
==-==-==
On my first day of school, I was eager to go and be with other little colts and fillies. I walked into class, and the TEACHER tried to shoo me out, thinking I was in fact a real skunk. She screamed at the top of her lungs!! She climbed on top of her desk!! She actually hit me with a broom, trying to scare me off!! When I started TALKING, the thought hit her that I was actually a member of the class.
And I was hereby sent to the back of the class. Despite the fact that she knew I was a pony, I still looked like a skunk. She tried to tell herself that I was a pony, but appearance overrode everything and she thought of the safety of the others. IF I were to let one off, everypony else could escape before I could.
I sometimes hear about some little fillies who have yet to find their cutie marks. A couple little trolls bellow 'Blank Flank' in irritating glee. Girls, I gotta tell you that that's nothing compared to what I went through.
'Who let the skunk into class?'
'Phew!! Something stinks!'
'Skunk Pony!'
'SKO-NY! SKO-NY! SKO-NY!'
Let's not forget being doused in tomato juice. On a semi-regular basis.
I swear I had absolute control over my sphincter throughout my school years. There were times where I would worry about cracking wind, but I never did. I knew that at the very first sign, I would validate every last insult that they ever made.
And they tried. Oh Luna did they try. Those little asses (and I assure you that some WERE donkeys!!) would try to slip me anything that registers on the fart index. Cabbage. Bean burritos. Whoopee cushions were especially dangerous.
==-==-==
That isn't to say that I haven't tried my damndest to fix this problem. One day, I dyed all the white hairs a stark black to match everything else. Maybe I could just change my appearance enough....
But, I found that my problems persisted. I was entirely black except for my eyes and my teeth. And I realized that was a mistake on my part. I had turned myself into a smiling shadow. A featureless blob in the back of the classroom. 'Ain't we missing somepony?' they snickered.
'Nah. All the important ponies are here!!'
To add injury to insult (no, I did not mess up that phrase) several of my classmates, colt and filly alike 'tripped' on me as I was walking away. They blatantly said they didn't see anything. I was clearly standing out from my surroundings, even if I was a black blob of pony. And they still 'accidentally' ran into me, not even apologizing for it.
And that lasted a month or two until the dye made its way out of my hairs. Then it was just back to 'Skony!! Skony!!' I think my teacher was tempted to scold me for being absent for the entire time, despite knowing full well that I was right there.
Some days, she's no better than them.
==-==-==
I experimented with the idea of bleaching my coat. My ENTIRE coat. And why stop there? Why not my mane and tail too? Why not change my look into a ghostpony? But, then they'd just think I'd died and was haunting them. Once again, the teacher would freak out. Wasn't she supposed to be sympathetic to my plight?
The idea of bleaching my coat was a scary thought. The idea that I could get any help with the process was another matter altogether. There's a salon in town that could help me with this. But, can they get over what I look like? Or would they just run and hide as a skunk wandered into their establishment?
And what of the process itself? Would it hurt? I can imagine that I'd be itching from top to bottom. And for how long? Would the bleach destroy my cutie mark (useless as it is)? And what color would I want to be after that? I could almost literally turn myself into a brand new pony. Nopony would recognize me.
And what would that solve? Eventually, my true colors would come back through anyways... I'd have some time of relief, but as my hair grows back through, it would be the black and white that I 'adore' so much. And I can only see the others teasing me about this anyway. Even if I was a totally different set of colors, they still know who I am.
There have been days where I even toyed with the idea of shaving myself completely bald. Scalp to tail. While it is common for ponies to run around most of their lives naked, there is never any shame in it. But, to go beyond that and not even have hair covering... that would just be obscene! Not that I'd care at this point....
But, I'm a coward. Years of abuse have left me so mentally crippled. Even today, as I am long out of school, I still hide in fear of what the ponies will tell me. I work in the mornings. I sleep in the day. I run around at night. I have adjusted to how THEY think I should live... I have been molded by my fears and my insults. And all because of this damnable set of colors.
I don't know what to do anymore....
