Putting Her Dreams Aside

Rainbow Dash turned the shower nozzle to the off position, stopping the flow of hot water that had cascaded over her body for the last ten minutes. Little beads of moisture were slowly dripping off of her blue coat and multi-colored mane, eventually finding their way to the floor of the bathtub and flowing down the drain with all the others.

The pegasus stepped out of the bathtub and reached for a nearby towel with her wing. She used it to wipe the rest of the water off of her body, and once she was done, she hung it back up and turned to the mirror over the sink. She then grabbed her toothbrush, squirted some toothpaste over the top of it, and then proceeded to brush her teeth. Knowing that she had eaten quite a few sweets throughout her pregnancy, Dash wanted to make sure that she brushed her teeth every single day, as she feared what would happen if she got a cavity. Despite the fact that she was sometimes lazy and skipped brushing her teeth in the morning or before bed, she had never gotten a cavity in her life, and all the stories she'd heard about drills and fillings secretly frightened her. That, of course, was something she hoped that her friends would never find out, as she wanted them to think that she wasn't afraid of anything.

Dash finished brushing her teeth less than a minute later and proceeded to rinse her mouth out. Once that was finished, she exited the en-suite bathroom and stepped straight into the room she and Soarin were staying in during their time at the castle. However, Rainbow wouldn't be sharing the bedroom on this night.

It had been two full months since Grey Nimbus' accident, and only today had he finally gotten released from the hospital. Because of this, Soarin had volunteered to stay with his parents for one night, in case his mother needed any initial help in taking care of his father. Grey's wings, at this point, had fully healed, and he was gradually getting more and more of his memory back. It hadn't returned fully at this point, but Soarin and his family were grateful for how much progress his father had made.

Because of all this, Rainbow would be spending the night alone, something she hadn't done since the night before her wedding. She was definitely disappointed that she wouldn't have her cuddly hunk of a husband in bed with her, but at the same time, she knew that he was doing the right thing, and she almost wished she could be up there helping out.

As the pegasus gradually climbed onto her bed, she watched as Tank slowly got comfortable in his tiny bed, the tortoise closing his eyes and retracting his limbs and head into his shell as he quickly fell asleep. Watching her pet do such a thing made Rainbow want to just plop down and get some shut-eye, so she swiftly, albeit carefully, lifted the covers over her now slightly larger body. She was eight months along in her pregnancy, and, as she expected, her belly had distended down toward the projected two-thirds of the length down her legs, though it wasn't quite there yet.

Dash lay on her right side as she relaxed into the bed. She tried to get comfortable, but for some reason, she wasn't getting to sleep as quickly as she thought she would. In fact, she wasn't getting to sleep at all. Growing a little bit frustrated, Dash turned over onto her left side, wondering if a different position would do the trick. However, after ten minutes, it proved to be unsuccessful.

Dash turned back over to her right side and continued laying there, her brain trying to comprehend why she couldn't get to sleep. Though she had come up with a few reasons, her mind was constantly thinking of all that had happened since the wedding, but it soon extended to everything that had happened since she became a Wonderbolt.

Even though Dash was really happy with the way things were turning out, she was still a bit appalled that she wasn't flying with the group of ponies she'd idolized her entire life. Also, she couldn't help but immediately think of all the bad things that had happened since this all started. Just thinking about all this made her want to do something about it, but she wasn't sure what she could do.

For what seemed like no apparent reason, Dash sat up and faced the nightstand next to her and opened its sole drawer. When she opened it, she found something that she didn't expect to find. "Huh..." Rainbow said to herself, "I forgot I put this here." It was the small journal that Fluttershy had given to her as a present at her bachelorette party. There were times since then that Rainbow would tell herself she would write something, but she never got around to it, and at one point, decided that she may as well leave it to be a blank book for the rest of its life.

Rainbow took her journal out of the drawer and looked at it. As she did, the slightly painful memories of what had happened after she'd gotten pregnant continued to swirl around in her head. After about three minutes, Dash finally decided that this would be the night where her journal would cease being an empty soul.

Looking back in the drawer, Dash noticed a pen that was right next to where her journal had been sitting. She took it out of the drawer and took it in her mouth, but she spit it out once she realized a small predicament. Given her current state, she knew she'd have to be in some awkward position in order to write anything. She quickly came up with a solution, however, laying one of the pillows flat on the bed as she climbed over it halfway, her upper chest and forelegs half-resting on it and half-dangling over it. She then brought her journal in front of her and grabbed the pen once again, sticking the far end into her mouth. She then opened the front cover of the journal for the first time, only to find a note from Fluttershy written on the underside of the cover that she hadn't seen before. It read:

Dear Rainbow Dash,

You are the greatest friend a pony could ask for, and I know there's a lot coming your way. I hope that this journal will be of great use to you throughout your future adventures as a wife, mother, and Wonderbolt. Have fun!

Love,
Fluttershy

Dash couldn't help but feel greatly moved by what she'd just read. Hearing such a kind and heartfelt message from her friend was something she really needed right now, and this certainly did the trick.

The cyan pegasus then turned the page to find the first of many blank pages that were conveniently lined. With a deep breath, she leaned her head down slightly until the tip of the pen touched the paper, and she began to write.

Dear Journal,

You don't know how happy I am right now to have you. I was beginning to think that I would be able to get a hold of my feelings and not have to express them this way, but so much has happened, and since my husband is away tonight, I need someone to talk to. Thankfully, I found you, so I hope you're ready, because I have a lot to say.

First of all, I'm eight months pregnant right now, which means I'm about three months away from delivery. I'm having twins, so it gonna be a bit hectic once they arrive. Though I'm really happy that they're on the way, I can't help but feel really sad, because I'm a Wonderbolt now and I can't fly with those guys until the foals are born. In the beginning, I was devastated and furious that this had happened, only because I know I conceived them the night I was sworn in. My coltfriend at the time, Soarin, who is now my husband, and I felt a little too excited about this whole thing, so we went back to my place and had a little fun, which ended up being a little too much, as a short time later, I felt like I was becoming violently ill, when in all reality, I was pregnant.

I should be mad at Soarin right now, but I'm not. Early on in my pregnancy, I went through a few twists and turns. I had to decide whether or not to terminate the pregnancy, which was followed by me wondering if I should give up the foal for adoption. Once I realized I was having twins, my thoughts changed completely, and it was at that point that I ultimately decided to keep the foals for myself, and right after I did that, Soarin proposed to me. I obviously said yes, and now, here we are, happily married and awaiting the arrival of our twins.

At this point, Rainbow Dash had gotten quite comfortable with writing in her own personal journal, rather than the journal she shared with her friends. She felt like she was having a conversation with an inanimate object, but it seemed to be helping her.

So far, married life has been treating me pretty well. Living with Soarin full-time has been more awesome than I could've ever imagined. Unfortunately, about a month after we got married, his dad was in a construction accident in Cloudsdale and nearly died. He broke both his wings and had such a severe concussion that his brain was swelling. This ended up causing him to have amnesia, and when Soarin and his mom told me everything, I was crushed. Wait, let me rephrase that. I was as crushed as my father-in-law's wings.

Even though Grey Nimbus (that's his name) isn't my real father, he's definitely like one, and I felt like I was gonna lose one of my closest friends. Thankfully, that didn't happen. He's been in the hospital for about two months, and he got released today, which is why I'm alone right now. I can't fly at the moment, and Soarin's staying with his parents tonight, just in case either of them need help with anything.

As for me, I don't have much else to say. I've had several ultrasounds and tests lately, and the foals seem to be healthy and developing normally. I don't know yet if I'm having two colts, two fillies, or one of each. You know, now that I think about it, it might be fun to have a little contest with my friends. I could have them guess what I'm having, and whoever's right in the end could win something. I'm sure Pinkie Pie would love to do something like that.

Speaking of Pinkie Pie, it took me nearly an hour to convince her that throwing a party for when my father-in-law got out of the hospital was unnecessary. She was noticeably upset, but I eventually got her to realize that not every single happy event deserves a party. I know she's trying to be thoughtful and do what she's meant to do, but still...

I guess that's gonna be it for now. I'll talk to you again when I get the chance. Bye!

With that, Rainbow Dash wrote down today's date, placed the attached silk bookmark in-between the appropriate pages, and closed her journal. She then just lay there, thinking about what she had just done. "Wow..." she thought to herself, "That was actually kinda fun. I was able to talk about stuff I wanted to talk about, yet I never physically spoke a word. Why didn't I start doing this sooner?"

Rainbow soon placed her journal and pen back in the drawer and closed it. The pegasus then put the pillow back in its appropriate place and got back under the covers, lying on her right side once again. This time, she felt much more content as the silky-smooth blanket graced the left side of her body. She lay there with her eyes closed for a mere two minutes before sleep took over, sending her to a distant land where she could relax and enjoy herself as her body reenergized itself.