The biggest Derp
"Directer, are you sure this business plan would work? You know how people can be."
"Do you think I don't know what I'm doing? Look at these numbers, Mccarthey! In two weeks this companies money will double, and in a year? We could buy the New Canterlot!"
Meghan Mccarthey sat docile, not daring to disagree. She couldn't argue with the numbers- she just worried about how the law would affect this. Thankfully someone spoke up.
"Is Obama willing to apply all amendments to the Enquines?" A tall man spoke to the Chairman, who simply laughed at the question.
"He said all projects are go as long as he gets Celestia!" The chairman chuckled. People snickered as they reshuffled files.
"We have the problem of not all of them willing to go." Said another, regaining a serious tone.
"That's actually not," A scientist stood up, preparing to speak to the executives.
"In the case of this situation all laws and orders have been reviewed by their monarchy which was a discombobulated mess. It has been theorized that beyond singularity exist tunnels - shortcuts - to other ends of the universe. These "wormholes" could be a solution to interstellar travel, which currently is limited by relativity. However, many complications surround this possible theory. Most notable is the fact that the gravitational force of a black hole would crush any possible interstellar spacecraft, which is something that will have to be worked out. While this theory about singularity is questionable at best and will probably be left to science fiction, there is another theory about the center of a black hole that has been gaining more acceptance from respected physicists and astronomers, and describes a whole new view about our known universe.However, the circle and multiverse theories have been tested and as it turns out there are little to no borders on this-"
"ENOUGH CHITCHAT! TIME IS CANDY!" A bubbly mare, who had remained mostly quiet, finally jumped up at the speech.
"Miss Pie, please be seated-"
"BLAH BLAH BLAH!" She shouted, making Meghan smile. That was Pinkie for you. There wasn't a time where that mares presence couldn't don't cheer her up.
"Annnnywaaaay, here's any files you would need!" She pulled a clipboard out of her puffy mane, tossing it to the directors.
Most of the papers were filled with complicated mathematics and equations, as well as assorted charts and graphs that would have made Steven Hawking proud. (In that moment he was sitting next to her, giving each other a bro hoof.) The surprisingly organized data finally ending with free coupons to an ice cream shop. A smile curled onto the chairmans lips.
"And I trust this portal is ready?" He said. Pinkie nodded, her eyes holding a twinkle of pure excitement.
"Then all projects are go. Let's get some ponies!"
..............................
In front of you lies a package. To you, it is extremely important, and are surprised that it came so fast. Ever since hasbro made the living ponies everyone (even the president) have been ordering them. Now after two months of waiting, your pony has arrived.
It all started with a humble multiverse portal-taking the cute colorful horses and preparing the ones who wish to leave ready for the human world. With so many galaxies and the shattering of a fourth wall, many debated that in truth they never leave their homes. One of the many Pinkies were able to prove that true. Granted, they weren't the exact same as the show, but that's a humble detail considering these ones are even cuter. (That last opinion is still being debated by scientist globally.)
Your hands shake as you lift the small package, a rumbling sound comes from within. You can't believe it-your very own Derpy! As one of the first to order one (11th in line) you have received a treasure. A treasure which every other brony and their grandma will admire. On your counter holds trays full of muffins- after all, you want her to like you!
You glance back at the interior of your home. Besides the pastries there hangs a large sign reading 'welcome home!'. Your heart flutters at the reaction you'll surely get.
"Hey! Can I get out!?" A slightly squeaky voice proves it's not the show Derpy, but hopefully has the same personality. Through the breathing hole a violet eye looks over your appearance, a hint of disgust in her voice.
"Something's not right, Derpy isn't like that." You mutter, a small gasp from the box before silence.
Rushing to your couch, you gently lay the box down. In a flash your letter opener as sliced through the tape. The box opens, and a mare with a light grey coat pops her head out. She flicks her braided grey mane out of her glasses, scoffing at the inconvenience.
"S-silver spoon." You say. She reaches out a hoof which you gently shake. Both of you stare at each other, drinking in this awkward situation.
With a roll of her eyes, she speaks again.
"Something wrong with your delivery?"
Something wrong? SOMETHING WRONG?! You just made the purchase that proves money can buy happiness and got the wrong results. Instead of a bundle of joy you now have a bundle of brattiness. Your hands curl instinctively into fist. You're trying to stay calm. You're trying to remain positive. But how positive can one be after such an error?
It's still a pony right? That's something isn't it? You sadly shake your head, unable to understand. Your eyes are filled with longing and regret. The poster welcoming a mailmare now feels limp and unwanted. Derpy could've brought joy, what can Silver Spoon give?
You snap back to reality, realizing that you now have a filly to take care of.
She awaits what you say next.
Author's Note
This story is driven by the commenters! What should you say to silver spoon next?
