Oubliettes and Ogres

by Kobla

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Adventure, Main 6
Length: 10618

Twilight and the gang get together to play some O&O

Twilight plans to run a game of O&O for her friends. Join them as they find out what O&O even is and get to grips with the world of fantasy adventure.

Well, adventure slightly more fantastical than their regular lives, anyway. Together they'll face an ancient vampire, discover a mystical castle and try to cope with the fact that they let Pinkie of all people play a Druid.

As of Dungeons and Discord, this fic is now some kind of AU. It's an incredibly minor change, though, so I won't be tagging it.

If Fimfiction allowed it, I would tag this story both Adventure and Slice of Life. As it is, I can't.

Published 2015-09-21 00:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-04 15:24:13 UTC

Prelude to Adventure

Pinkie was excited as she hopped up the path towards Twilight's castle. Twilight had invited the girls over to play some kind of new game, and that was cool for two reasons. Firstly, that she'd be hanging out with her closest friends, which was hardly rare but always nice. Secondly, that Twilight was trying something new – much as Pinkie loved all her friends, she knew some ponies were just no good at doing anything new. It was really thrilling to see Twilight giving it a go.

As she got to the door, she wondered whether or not she was the first to arrive. She gave it a quick knock and then poked it open, craning her head around to have a look-see. She guessed she was the first one there, as the only sound was the pitter-patter of Spike's feet. “Just a second,” he called as he came into the foyer, “I'm comi- oh. Has that been open all day?”

“I dunno, I just got here. By the way, Hiya!” She held out her hoof for a bump, and Spike obliged her.

“Hey. We're upstairs in the smaller library, I'm just helping Twilight set up.”

“Oh, sure thing. I can help put together whatever this is.”

Spike peered around Pinkie back down the path. “Uh, hold that thought, I see Rainbow Dash and Applejack coming.”

As it turned out, Rainbow and Applejack had rounded up Fluttershy and Rarity. Pinkie waved hello four times as hard as she normally would, to make sure everyone got their fair share. When the girls had come all the way up the path, Spike lead them up to the Castle's Auxiliary Library. Once there, they found Twilight sitting at a table surrounded by strange books and sheets of paper.

Rainbow Dash gave the room a once-over. “Hey Twilight. Thought we were having some kind of game night tonight. You need some help clearing all your egghead stuff up?”

Twilight giggled. “Actually, Rainbow, this egghead stuff is why I called you all here!”

“Aw dangit, this was all a trick to make me do my taxes or something, wasn't it?” Rainbow folded her front legs and scowled at the treacherous books.

“Heh, not quite. This, girls, is Oubliettes and Ogres.” Twilight accompanied this declaration with a sweeping gesture, taking in the myriad of books, dice and loose sheets strewn across the table.

“Oh, that's nice.” said Fluttershy, “So what does that mean?”

“O&O is a roleplaying game. You all take on the role of adventurers in a fantasy world. I'll be the Ogre Queen. It's my job to build the world around you and fill it with monsters to fight and strange new places to explore.”

“But having adventures and exploring strange places sounds like the sort of stuff we do all the time.” objected Rainbow Dash. The others nodded.

“That's true,” admitted Twilight, “we're not exactly the target market. But you can still enjoy an adventure story, right? In fact, I bet you enjoy Daring Do and other books like that so much partially because you've been on real adventures.”

Rainbow shrugged. “Yeah, maybe. So you're saying this game is like a story you can share with your friends?”

“That's a very nice way of looking at it, Rainbow.”

“Well, alright, I guess I could get into that. So how does it work?”

“Well, to start with, each of you comes up with a character. Then, we get those characters together and you all go on adventures in the land of Graufalke.”

Rarity tapped her chin, deep in thought. “I don't think I've ever heard of that before.”

“That's because me and Shiny came up with it when we were foals. He was always more into the game itself, but I was fascinated by all the world-building. We've kept up with it over the years, and he always keeps me posted on anything major that happens in the games he runs up in the Empire.”

“Have you played it before yourself?”

“No, that always seemed a bit messy to me. I mean, it might do strange things to my carefully constructed world history, right? But for a while now I've been interested in actually playing rather than just writing. I mentioned it in a letter to Shiny a while ago, and he was really enthusiastic about the idea. I think he'd always wanted me to play, so he was happy that I was finally getting into it in the same way as him and Spike.”

“Oh, you've played?”, asked Fluttershy, relieved that at least one player would be going in knowing what they were doing.

“Yep!” beamed Spike, “With Shining Armour and his old group back in Canterlot. If somepony else was running, me and him would flip a coin to see who got to play the paladin.”

Twilight giggled. “Well, if you want to call dibs for this game, I don't think anypony will argue with you.”

“I'll say.” agreed Applejack, “I don't even know what a paladin is.”

“A paladin is a questing knight, embodying the will of one of the Alicorns. There's a lot of those in Graufalke by the way. At least 20.”

“So it's sort of like you when you used to be Princess Celestia's student?”

“Kind of, I suppose, but a paladin would have had a sword and shield, and would go around actively looking for trouble. Smiting monsters, that sort of thing.”

“Oh, so it's more like if Rainbow Dash was Princess Celestia's student.” Pondered Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash nodded proudly.

“In any case, it's all about to get a little bit Kuti Marx, because we'll be talking about race and class.” Rarity and Spike chuckled softly at this, but the others all looked blank. “Uh, in any case I've prepared lists of available races and classes here, along with a brief summary of each.” Twilight handed out six copies of the lists in question. Each player took one and sat back down, contemplating it.

Applejack sat deep in thought for a second before looking up from her list. “Could you pass me the proper book? I'd like a closer look at the rogue.”

“Certainly.” She floated the Player's Hoofbook over to Applejack's side of the table. “I must say, I wouldn't have expected you of all ponies to go for that.”

“Sure ain't my usual speed, is it? But you said yourself this was all about adventurin' and stuff, so I figured I'd go kinda the opposite of what I usually do.”

“Hee-hee!”, giggled Pinkie, “Imagine if we all did that? We'd end up with Rarity the barbarian!”

Rainbow pushed herself up in her seat and adopted a thick accent “Clothe your enemies! See their dresses before you! And hear the lamentations of the critics!”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Oh, go and boil your rumps, both of you. I will play a barbarian! A Griffon barbarian, to be precise.”

“That's great!” exclaimed Twilight, “Now all you'll need is a name.”

Rarity rubbed one hoof under her chin in thought. “Hmm. What's a good name for a savage brute?”

“Blueblood?”, suggested Fluttershy.

Pinkie boggled. “Oh, wow!”

“Dang, girl!” Applejack offered a high-hoof. Fluttershy raised one hoof, hesitated for a second, and then took it, flinching as she made contact. She looked very proud of herself as she slid back down into her seat.

“In all seriousness, though, what do I name her? I'm a little out of my element here.”

“Ragna.” Said Rainbow Dash. “Yeah, Ragna Bloodaxe.” She flexed her foreleg muscles as she spoke.

“Ooh, I do like that.” Rarity jotted it down on her character sheet. “How did you come up with it?”

“I kinda didn't. The first name is from this Griffon sci-fi thing and the second name is from a comic book. You know, one of those ones that's obviously copying Spirit of Cimmeria.”

“I'll take your word for it.”

The table lulled into thoughtful quiet, and Twilight took the opportunity to pipe up. “Oh, one thing to bear in mind when you're making your characters is alignment. You've got nine options on a pair of axes between Lawful and Chaotic, and between Good and Evil. Try and make sure you fit together reasonably well.”

“Axes?” asked Applejack.

“Yeah, like Lawful Good or Neutral Good or Chaotic Neutral or what have you. You have to pick where your character falls on the alignment spectrum.”

“And what was that about evil?” asked Pinkie, “Who'd want to be evil?”

Rainbow nodded. “Yeah, I know you said this would be a new experience and all but I'm not sure I'm really into that.”

“Then don't play an evil character. Look, I know it's a little distasteful, but the whole point of the game is doing something completely outside your ordinary life. For some people, that includes being evil for a little bit.”

Rainbow Dash was absolutely incredulous. “And you're OK with that?”

“Sure! It's like characters in a book – they can't really do anything. I mean, Rainbow Dash, you've read stories about aliens invading Equestria, right?”

Rainbow shrugged. “Yeah, a couple.”

“And you enjoyed them?”

“Well, sure, some of them were pretty good.”

“But you don't actually want to be abducted by humans, do you? It's just a bit of nonsense and escapism, it doesn't have to mean anything.”

“If you say so, Twilight. I still think I'm going to stick to the side of Good. I know you all think I'm gonna just make a pony who's me, like with flying and speed and stuff, but I'm gonna do something new – I'll make an Earth Pony.”

Applejack nodded thoughtfully. “You know what, Dash? I'll swap ya. I'll make me a Pegasus.”

Twilight made a note behind her screen. “Well, OK then, that'll help keep things interesting. AJ, I know you'd like to play a rogue, but what class will you pick, Rainbow?”

“Rainbow Dash doesn't have any class.”, commented Rarity. The table, minus Dash, giggled while Pinkie mimed touching a hot stove.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Ha ha, Rarity.”

“Oh, that joke was inevitably going to come up at some point. Honestly, I couldn't tell if it would be used on you, Applejack or Pinkie.” Applejack and Pinkie shrugged at this, accepting the inevitable.

“But anyway, I wanna have some kind of combat role. These guys might get hurt without me to look after them.”

Twilight considered this. “In that case, have you considered a monk?”

“A monk? You mean like Clover the Clever?”

“No, more like those Kung Hoof masters who live up a mountain. You know, mastering their own body and hitting you in the chi.”

“OK, I can get into that.”

“Excellent, grasshopper. One thing to bear in mind is that as a monk, your access to weapons is kind of limited. You've trained well with a few, rather than training a little with a lot.”

Rainbow shrugged. “Makes sense. I guess a monk with a giant axe doesn't really work, huh?”

“That would definitely be strange. Also, one of the weapons you can use is nunchuks.”

As Twilight had expected, Rainbow Dash's face lit up like a foal on Hearthswarming. “Oh, awesome! I'm gonna be all wa-cha! Hi-ya! Chop-socky!”

“So we have a go on Rainbow Dash the monk, huh?”

“You bet! Hey, can I make my monk a ninja? 'Cause that's kinda like Kung Hoof, isn't it?”

“Well, they do share some similarities. And yes. You won't be a ninja master right out of the gate, but you can certainly develop into one.”

“Great. I am super on board for that.” Rainbow turned one of her sheets over, and began sketching a design for a ninja version of her cutie mark.

“Spike, you've been very quiet. Have you come up with your character?”

“Zebra, Cleric of Life, Neutral Good, Acolyte background. I'm still working on a name, but I'm thinking something with a lot of consonants.”

Twilight scribbled down notes, struggling to keep up with her assistant. “That's quite thorough.”

“Well, I have played this game before – not fifth edition, but enough to have the basic idea down. I was actually gonna go for a Nature cleric, because Reofax is probably the coolest Alicorn in the game, but we needed a healer.”

“Yeah, good call on both of those statements.”

At this point, they all rolled up their stats. Your author does not wish to bore you with a detailed description of 6 people rolling 4D6 and discarding the lowest, so you can simply assume that they all got a pretty decent result.

“What's this about a background?” asked Rarity. The other new players nodded and made inquisitive noises.

“Oh, we can deal with that when we get to it. Right now, let's focus on getting everyone up to having species and class. Pinkie, Fluttershy, would either of you like some help?”

Fluttershy was giving her sheet a double-check. “Oh, I think we're both done, actually. I'd like to be a Fighter. And looking at the weapons the book says I can have, I'd like to use a lance.”

Twilight nodded. “Sure thing! And what species will your fighter be?”

“Oh, Pegasus. I know we're all playing different types of people, but it says if I have a high strength I'm a good flyer, and I thought that might be nice.”

“OK then.” Another note. She looked up to face the last player to declare her character's race and class. “Pinkie, how about you?”

“I'm a Changeling!”

“I see. And what does your Changeling do?”

“Buzzer turns into things!”

“Well, yeah, but...you know...” Rainbow Dash made a vague gesture with her hoof.

“Wait. Pinkie, do you mean to say you're playing a Druid of the Moon?”

“Yep! And my goal in life is to travel the world to find all sorts of new and interesting things to turn into. Like, wouldn't it be super cool to be an octopus?”

“OK, great! That's the basics. Now, assuming you're all taking the quick-start gear your class has to keep things simple, all we have to do is backgrounds. Those start after the classes. It's pretty self-explanatory, really. You can either come up with your own character traits, or roll for them randomly.

“I've gotta say,” commented Spike, “this is all going much quicker than back when I used to play with Shining Armour and his other friends.”

“Well, they always insisted on using all the splatbooks, didn't they? That must really slow things down.”

Pinkie sat upright and stared at Twilight, eyes wide. “OK Twilight, I need you to tell me what splatbooks are, because they sound like my new favourite kind of book.”

“They're more properly called supplements. They contain extra material, new character options, more detail on the setting, that sort of thing.”

Pinkie deflated slightly. “Oh. Well, I guess that's pretty neat, but it's not as much fun as what I was imagining.”

Applejack patted her on the shoulder. “Well when you eventually get round to writing that cookbook, why don't you call it The Splatbook?”

“That's definitely going on the shortlist.”

Author's Note

And so begins the tale of a bunch of dorks playing an RPG.

Tabletop RPGs have been a passion of mine for some years now - I don't have the childhood experience of AD&D or 3.5 that many gamers do, but I've been into the hobby for a while, and what with Oubliettes and Ogres being a canonical counterpoint to D&D (and hobby of Shining Armour's), this seemed a natural story to tell.

I hope you all enjoy it, even if you don't play tabletop RPGs yourself - I'll try to keep the jargon limited. This chapter was always going to be a little heavy on it, because D&D is so focused around character creation. After they get their backgrounds and gear finalised in the first half of Chapter 2, the adventure proper will begin.

The Call of the Quest

Twilight cleared her throat. “In any case, back to backgrounds. The basic idea is that it gives a little snapshot of what your character was doing before they became an adventurer. Spike, you mentioned you were going for Acolyte?”

“Yup.”

“So that background would describe how that upbringing affected his character.”

Rarity nodded as she looked through the list of backgrounds. She hovered over some longer than others before eventually making her choice. "It seems that the most logical fit for me would be the Outlander. That's rather the idea of a Barbarian, isn't it?"

"Historically, that's true," agreed Twilight, "but of course you can pick any background you'd like."

"In any case, that's what I'll stick to. Let's keep things simple to start with, shall we?"

Twilight nodded. "Speaking of keeping things simple, and Ponies who rarely do - Pinkie, you look like you've come to a decision."

Pinkie was in fact bouncing in her seat, like a foal who had guessed the answer to the teacher's question. "Yup! I'm gonna be a sailor."

"A sailor, huh?" muttered Twilight as she jotted the choice down. She looked back to Pinkie and spoke up. "That's not what I would have imagined, but I can see how it works."

"I'm a different girl in every port!" beamed Pinkie.

Rarity smirked wryly. "I'm not quite sure that's how it goes, darling."

"How what goes?" asked Spike. Rainbow Dash and Applejack giggled, while Twilight turned slightly red.

"I, uh", prevaricated Twilight, "I'll tell you when you're older."

"Oh, OK." said Spike innocently, "Like that time I found a store that sells hoof-cuffs?"

The giggling from the peanut gallery intensified, and even Rarity and Fluttershy could not resist joining in. "Yes, Spike", said Twilight as she turned approximately the shade of Big Macintosh on a hot day, "exactly like that." She adjusted a few sheets of notes theatrically. "On to the next of our stalwart heroes. Fluttershy, how's your backstory coming along?"

"Oh, I'm quite proud of this, actually. I'd like to have the artisan as my background. See, I used to be a, uh, candlestick-maker but then one day I got bored of it and I went off to have an adventure."

"Sounds like an interesting character. Do you have a name?"

"I'm working on it. You can just deal with the others until I come up with one though, I wouldn't want to hold anypony up."

Rainbow Dash sat up a little straighter in her chair. "Hey, Twilight, you mentioned Monks were, like, those guys in secret hidden temples, right?"

"A lot of them, yes."

"So I'll take hermit. That's what that is, isn't it?" Rainbow was fairly confident she had the word right, having seen it in a number of pulpy adventure novels. It seemed to mean either shut-in or weirdo, and she liked her odds.

"Yes, hermits are people who live off away from the rest of society. Back when I was more of an introvert, I used to think of my library in Canterlot as my hermitage."

"Well ya had Spike, didn't ya?" asked Applejack as she gestured to the dragon in question. "Not quite a hermit."

"No, that's true. In fact, Spike here is probably the main reason I wasn't even more of a shut-in than I was when you met me."

Spike made a gentle gesture with his hand as if to brush off the praise. Twilight didn't have the heart to tell him it was the sort of thing that only really worked for a girl. "Aw shucks, you'll make me blush."

"Any time, my number one acolyte. Applejack, you're the last one without a background. I imagine your character didn't spring fully formed from the head of Faust?"

Applejack chuckled. "Well she might tell you that, even if she didn't. She's a charlatan." Applejack pronounced the word as if she were talking about a man named Charlie.

Rarity could not help but correct her. "It's pronounced with a softer ch. More like a sh, really."

"Well how come it ain't spelled with a sh, then?"

"It's from Prench, originally." Rarity struggled not to preen too obviously, though any mention of Prance made it a struggle.

Applejack shrugged. Prench folks did things funny, and that was explanation enough in her mind. "Fair enough. I figure it means a Flim Flam kinda Pony."

"That's about right. If I recall correctly, there are some details about that background that we'll have to work out in private, but for now I think we're all set. Now it's onto our gear! Fluttershy, you've already chosen a lance, but the fighter starts the game with enough weaponry to start her own war."

Fluttershy nodded. "I'd like the light crossbow and a warhammer. Oh, and the explorer's pack."

"I'll tell ya what, Twilight, I'm real glad those premade backpacks are all there. I'd hate to have to try and pick all that stuff out one by one."

"That's something I dislike about 5th edition, personally." Said Spike, "I always feel like half the fun of O&O is putting your character together just right. But we've got a big enough group that I'll just go with the default gear this time."

The rest of the group chose their starting gear, some ponies taking longer than others. Eventually, even Rarity was satisfied that she had her character just so, and Twilight felt ready to begin the game proper.

She cleared her throat from behind her Ogre Queen Screen. "I'm going to stick with a winning tradition and start us all off in an inn. We'll get to what you do inside in a moment, but for now why are all of you spending the evening at The Leaping Wizard? It's not exactly the fanciest place in the world - not horrible, but not the kind of place you'd bring your parents either."

Pinkie made an amused noise. "I'd like to hear the story behind that name. Oh! Speaking of stories, maybe that's why I'm there. Does the inn have a bard or a skald or anypony like that?"

"It does now", said Twilight, scratching out some of her notes and hastily writing in replacements.

"As for me", mused Rarity, "I imagine that a barbarian isn't welcome in some of the finer establishments. Ragna's here because this is the nicest place she can get a room."

Fluttershy took her turn to speak up. "A barbarian coming to town sounds awfully scary. I'm there to keep an eye on Rarity and make sure she doesn't raise any trouble." Rarity leered at Fluttershy and raised her forelegs up ready to pounce. The rest of the table giggled.

"Excellent!" Beamed Twilight. "Lastly, what are a monk and a cleric doing at the Leaping Wizard?"

"We're arguing about philosophy." Deadpanned Spike. Rainbow sniggered.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Well, it's as good a reason as any. OK, so you're all in the tavern one evening, when…"

+++

The gentle, insistent rain drummed against the windows of the Leaping Wizard, as it had all night. All of the inn's regulars were seated at their accustomed spots, along with a few newcomers and outsiders taking shelter from the weather. Farmers swapped jokes and anecdotes each had heard a dozen times before over their pints, while a storyteller regaled all who would listen with the tale of how prince Haygen was kidnapped by Griffons.

A Changeling sat listening, idly turning one of her hooves into a paw and back. A hulking barbarian towered over the bar, while a knight tried and failed not to look like she was spying on the outsider. Another foreigner was sitting with a priest in one corner of the room, the conversation veering between religion and beer.

On the other side of the tavern, a slick-looking Pegasus sat down at a table with a Griffon wearing a dark hood. The Pegasus' pale blue coat and claret mane contrasted with what little was visible of the Griffon himself. "Howdy, Lars. How's business?"

Lars the Griffon looked up from his drink, though he kept a talon wrapped around it protectively. "It's been better, Wandering Eye. Seems all the low-hanging fruit around here's already been picked."

Wandering Eye shrugged languidly. "Heights never bothered me none." She shook her wings meaningfully. "If there ain't no easy jobs, that must mean you know about somethin' dangerous you're too chicken to go and do yourself."

"Don't bring race into this, it's crass. But you're right. As a matter of fact, I know about a potential big score. You're probably not going to fancy it any more than I do, but you might as well know all the same. Have you ever heard of Castle Innskar?"

Wandering Eye paused for a second. The thunder rolled, sounding as if it were right above the tavern. "Reckon I have. Didn't think anypony lived there these days."

"No pony, no.", agreed Lars, "The castle's latest inhabitant is a horse of a different colour."

"What's that you said about crass?"

Lars shrugged underneath his voluminous cloak. "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. Word has it that the new master of Castle Innskar is a Vampire. I know it sounds a little far-fetched, but I've heard this from people I trust implicitly."

"Who do you trust, anyhow?" asked Wandering Eye as she raised one eyebrow.

"People who are bad at lying."

Wandering Eye laughed into her drink, and spent the next few seconds trying not to choke on it.

Lars thumped her on the back. "Even if you are going to go for it, I wouldn't recommend trying something like that alone." he said meaningfully.

"Who said anything about being alone?" asked a newcomer. An Earth Pony with a dark grey coat and a brown mane stood over the table. She was dressed in strange, foreign clothes, covered in all manner of sigils and signs. Next to her stood a Zebra, dressed more recognisably as a wandering priest of Rojobrasa, Alicorn of Life. The familiar sign of the interlocking wheels stood out in gold against his white robes. "Sorry to interrupt, but I heard you talking about something that sounded real interesting. Dikembe and me want in." She turned to her erstwhile conversation parter. "You do want in, right?"

The Zebra nodded, his expression stern. "You've got that right. Vampires and their kind are an insult to Rojobrasa."

The foreign pony nodded proudly. "Well there you have it. You have a Vampire problem, and we're willing to help - for a share of the proceeds, of course."

Wandering Eye looked at the pair of them skeptically. "What kind of monk goes out lookin' to make a profit?"

"The kind who wants to eat." She stuck out a hoof, and Wandering Eye shook it dubiously. "Name's Thunder. Pleased to meetcha."

Wandering Eye looked from one of them back to the other, and she found it harder to tell who she thought was the bigger fool. "And you really want to go huntin' for Vampires with folk you just met?"

"Well I sure do!" announced a new voice, full of bubbly cheer. The Changeling had wandered over, and inserted herself in between Thunder and Dikembe. "That sounds like a blast! I'm Buzzer. I'm a Changeling - you could probably already tell that - and I-"

Wandering Eye slammed a hoof down on the table. "Hold it right there, missy!"

"Buzzer."

"Sure. But hold it right there anyway. How'd y'all overhear us? We was bein' quiet, or at least I thought we was."

Buzzer giggled. "Oh, I just gave myself dog ears, and then I could hear you just fine."

"What kind of dog?" Asked Dikembe.

Suddenly, each of them was struck with an irresistible feeling that they were getting off-topic, and that they ought to return to the matter at hoof. Lars cleared his throat slightly awkwardly. "Are there any others in this tavern who want to interrupt my conversation?" he asked as he rolled his eyes.

The barbarian lurched up from the bar and loomed over him. Next to her, the knight abandoned all pretence of staying hidden and wandered over to join the group. Thunder looked the two over appraisingly, pondering whether or not she could beat them in a fair fight. She rather fancied her chances. The group of six fell into a hubbub of chatter and idle musing, with Dikembe and Ragna's voices clearest in the noise.

"Very well!", declared Lars, his voice cutting through all others, "It appears you have yourselves an adventuring party. Now, which of you knows how to get to Castle Innskar?"

The thunder rolled again, louder than before. Eventually, the knight spoke up. "Um, I don't think any of us do."

Lars chuckled. "I thought as much. Well, I'd be happy to give you a map…for the low, low price of 20% of your loot."

"20%!" choked out Dikembe, "Why, you no-good, dirty rotten…" The nameless knight had to hold him back.

Wandering Eye held up a hoof for peace. "Now hold on a second, we can be reasonable about this. Lars, we've done business before, right?"

"Sure, lots of times."

"And have you ever asked for a slice of the pie that big?"

Lars scratched one talon under his beak. "There was that time at the pyramid of Nephren-ka…"

"And was you takin' a fifth of the booty despite bein' one of seven?"

Lars' talons scraped along the tabletop. "Alright - fine! I was being greedy! You can't blame a guy for trying, can you?"

"I guess I can't."

Thunder groaned. "OK, look, are you two going to sit there and talk about old times all night? Some of us have adventures we want to be on. Lars, why don't you just take a 10% cut and be happy with it?"

Lars sighed. "Very well. That will have to do." He reached into his cloak and pulled out a rolled-up map. He slid it across the table to the waiting party. "This will show you the way to Castle Innskar. I look forward to meeting with you again - if all of you make it back!" With that, he stood and strode out of the Leaping Wizard, pulling his black hood up as he stepped out into the stormy night.

"That was neat", said Buzzer as the rest of the party looked over the map. "So now what?"

Once again, the six of them suddenly felt strongly that they were tired, and ought to go to bed to begin their adventure bright and early the next morning. They paid the innkeeper with only a bare minimum of arguing over prices, and went off to their separate rooms. They would wake refreshed, and ready to begin their perilous quest.

Author's Note

And so the quest begins! From now on, the story will be divided between the "real world" of the cast and the world of their game. Hopefully the game section was easy enough to follow.

Up the Hills

As they walked into the village, they were struck by its grim atmosphere. The place was quiet and subdued, and it was difficult to imagine what it might be like in the midst of a party. Its very nature seemed to reject such things, as if a celebration would be an unnatural and unwelcome imposition.

Clouds blanketed the sky, seeming to press the ground beneath them. When Wandering Eye flew up to examine them in more detail, it was clear even to her amateur understanding of weather that they were abnormally low and thick. This was not helped by the lack of wind, and even when Wandering Eye attempted to blow away some of the cloud cover with her wings, the wind produced faded out with unusual quickness. The pegasus drifted back down to rejoin her companions and raised a quizzical eyebrow at Sunny Splendour.

"They've been like that recently", explained the glassblower. "I don't understand all the details myself. In truth, I had hoped that you might be able to get them back to normal. It seems that we just have one problem on top of another around here."

"When did these clouds first appear?" asked Dikembe quietly. He was wearing a concerned frown as he scanned the horizon, and absently fiddling with one of the many trinkets hanging from his staff.

"Perhaps two weeks ago. At first we thought nothing of it, but as time goes on we've been getting more and more concerned. If they do not lift soon, I don't know what we'll do." She did not mention that she dreaded the effect the mysterious clouds might have upon the local farms. She did not need to, as concern was written plainly upon her face.

"Hmm. I suspect the hoof of the new lord of Castle Innskar in this." Dikembe's face grew increasingly grim as he spoke.

Buzzer tilted her head curiously, which was helped by the fact that at that moment she had an elongated neck. "How come?"

"Vampires hate sunlight," explained the Zebra. "I've never heard of one who could conjure clouds, but it seems like the sort of thing they'd be into."

"Not just a vampire, but also a wizard?" asked Ragna as she curled her talons in displeasure, "This is getting more complicated by the minute."

"It does rather complicate matters", agreed Silver Wing. "But then, I don't think this was ever going to be simple. It's like peering into a rabbit warren."

"You're right", agreed Ragna. "Complaining won't do any good, so let's get ready to do something that will." The way she hefted her weapons left no doubt as to just what practical measures she was considering. The others nodded, faces stern.

"OK", said Buzzer, "Now that we've all established that we're feeling determined and ready and a little grumpy, what now?"

This seemed to break the silence that had descended upon the village like fog. Ponies poked their heads out from their homes and came out to meet the adventurers, some with faint hope in their eyes and some with a miserable lack of it. They were mostly Earth Ponies, and ones who were visibly chafing under a lack of Sunlight and the ability to get out into their fields and practice their profession. The assorted heroes bid them gentle greetings, and were somewhat surprised when the first villager offered them a silver token on a thin chain - a holy symbol of Reofax, Alicorn of Nature. Silver Wing nodded her head and accepted the pendant, murmuring her thanks.

Thunder shook her head, proclaiming "I won't need any of that superstitious stuff. No evil can touch me!"

One of the peasants insisted, holding out a similar amulet of an Alicorn. "Please, take this - for your mother's sake."

+++

"Wait, wait, hold up. When you say an amulet of an alicorn, you don't mean, like, the Alicorn Amulet, do you?" asked Rainbow, looking concerned.

"Oh heavens, no. Nothing like that. In Graufalke, the Alicorns - they have a capital A in this case - are both more powerful and more distant than the ones in Equestria. They have quite a lot in common with the Gods of the Minotaurs. You know, throwing lightning and giving people quests."

"Uh huh. And would there be a little smidge of power fantasy in that?" asked a smirking Applejack.

"I'm more interested in how you pronounce a capital letter", pondered Fluttershy.

Pinkie beamed. "It's easy when you practice!"

"Quite", agreed Twilight. "As for the Alicorns, they've always been like that in O&O. When me and Shiny were working on Graufalke, we used the same basic structure as all the other O&O settings. In fact, the game was created before Cadance was born, so there's a separate Alicorn of Love that's nothing like her. However, Shiny suggested that maybe we could have our own Alicorn of Love in Graufalke, and perhaps she could have a pink coat and three colours in her mane."

"And, naturally, he was a Paladin in her name the first time we played with the setting", interjected Spike. "He had a lock of her mane tied to the hilt of his sword as a good luck charm, and a picture of her on his shield. At the time, I thought he was only in it for the bonus spells."

"Subtlety's not really big on his list, is it?" asked Applejack.

Twilight chuckled. "I wouldn't exactly call it his defining feature, no. In any case, let's get back to it. Rainbow Dash, I believe you were speaking to one of the village folk?"

+++

"I would take it if I were you", offered Dikembe, "Amulets such as that often have the power to ward away harm. Silver ones are especially potent."

"I am surprised that one such as you knows so much about our ways", said the villager holding the amulet in question, "I had heard that you Zebras were all heathens."

Dikembe fixed her with a flat stare. "Lady, I'm arguing on your side here. Come on." To her credit, the villager looked suitably chagrined.

Sunny Splendour nodded. "In any case, he is right. The last band of Ponies who went up to the castle scorned our offerings, and none of them have come back. Perhaps with the aid of the Alicorns, you will fare better."

Ragna cleared her throat, positively bristling under all the protective charms she had claimed. "Very well. Now what? I say we should strike while the iron is hot."

"I'll agree with you there", replied Wandering Eye. We clearly got a long journey on our hooves, so let's get to it!"

"I-I say we wait", suggested Silver Wing meekly.

"Another delay?" exclaimed Thunder, "We've been talking about this for ages! Let's just get it done and kick some undead butt!"

Dikembe nodded, and his multitude of tokens and fetishes rattled. "Though I would not put it like that, I agree. Buzzer, you have yet to speak. What do you say?"

"Let's git 'er done!" cried Buzzer. For some reason, this made both Wandering Eye and Ragna wince. For some equally strange reason, the assembled heroes were all filled with a sudden sense of great purpose and conviction, as if the world itself were encouraging them to just get on with it.

After waving off the last of the assembled villagers, and promising Sunny Splendour that they would come back alive by hook or by crook, the brave warriors set off up the trail that would lead them into the mountains. The going was pleasant enough, as the forest surrounding the village began to thin out and give way to grassy hills before the mountains proper. Over the course of a pleasant afternoon's country hike, the party grew steadily more and more relaxed, until they were chatting aimlessly and strolling along with scarcely a care in the world.

Of course, that all changed when a giant black bird swooped down from the sky and attempted to snatch them up in its mighty talons.

"Hey-hey, alright!", cried Thunder. "Now this is more like it!" She leapt into action with a resounding yell, and her nunchuk smacked the enormous creature square in the beak. It flinched back, before fixing her with its predatory gaze and staring deep into her eyes. Thunder could not help but back up, as ancient instincts demanded she escape the carnivore, until the trance was broken by the simple means of an axe to the back of the beast's head. It staggered and wheeled about to see Ragna flicking her weapon, trying and failing to get all the blood off it.

The great bird let out a fearsome cry, and before Ragna could resume her ready stance one of its enormous talons raked across her. She took it as a point of pride that all her scars were on her front, and the wound the bird opened up in her shoulder promised to be an especially impressive one. This pride did not do especially much to ease her pain or make it possible to heft her enormous axe in a wounded arm, however, and so she decided that discretion might be the better part of valour and coolly withdrew.

As she stepped back, Wandering Eye came forth to take her place. Seeing that the bird had turned its attention back to Thunder, she drew her gladius, crept up to the beast and slashed it across the back of one of its enormous legs. The sudden, surprising blow caught it unprepared, and it wheeled about in fury. At that moment, Buzzer sprang into action. She hefted her scimitar in her sickly pale Changeling magic field and brought it down across the bird's chest. It struck true, and this final blow proved fatal for the beast. It fell to the ground dead, and in death seemed almost to shrink.

Thunder high-hoofed Buzzer while Dikembe waved his staff over Ragna's shoulder, chanting softly in his Zebra tongue. Though none of the others knew what he was saying, his voice radiated warmth and a feeling of nostalgia for childhood evenings spent listening to father tell a story. Ragna visibly relaxed, and even smiled as her wound glowed a gentle amber and sealed itself shut. A long, broad scar was all that remained, as if she had spent weeks convalescing instead of mere minutes. "There", said Dikembe, "That should just about cover it."

Ragna nodded appreciatively as she rolled her shoulder. "Indeed. I feel like a new hen."

Meanwhile, Silver Wing looked over the corpse of the great ugly bird as if she were about to give a eulogy. "Poor thing. It must have been starving to attack us like that."

Buzzer was struck by an idea. She peered over the body of the bird, examining it in minute detail. At one point she went so far as to give herself the nose of a dog, and she carried out a second investigation that way. Eventually she looked back up at Silver Wing, and sighed. "It wasn't hungry. This bird is as well-fed as a wedding guest."

"That can't be right!", objected Silver Wing, "The only reason a creature like that would attack people is out of desperation. I can't see a nest anywhere around here, so it couldn't have been fearing for its young. It must have been hungry!"

Buzzer pointed a hoof at Silver Wing. "I'm telling you, it wasn't. I'm sure as sure can be about this."

Dikembe sighed deeply. "That is extremely troubling. I have heard of such things, but never seen it myself."

"What do you mean?"

"Some Vampires have the power of hypnosis. If this beast really had no good reason to attack us, it may have been under the control of our enemy. It has been known for Vampires to command all sorts of creatures to attack others. They're most known for commanding bats and rats, but anything might fall victim to a Vampire's mesmer."

Silver Wing gasped. "That's revolting! Turning innocent creatures to evil like that, it - it, oh!" She strode away from the party, and began taking deep breaths. She continued on in this way for perhaps a minute, before giving a great shudder and returning to her friends. "I'm sorry about that, everyone. I just needed a moment."

+++

"Are you sure you're OK, Fluttershy?", asked Twilight. "I'm sorry if that hit a little close to home."

"It's fine, Twilight. Really."

"If you say so. I just wouldn't want to take this game anywhere that anyone isn't comfortable with."

"I wasn't getting so steamed up just because of the game. It's - well, anypony who works with animals hears horror stories sometimes. Ponies taking puppy-dogs and deliberately mistreating them to make them grow up violent and mean-tempered, that sort of thing. It's about the most evil thing I can think of, and I suppose it stands to reason that a Vampire would be cruel enough to do something like that."

Applejack stared at her in shock. "I ain't never heard of that, and I think I was happier not knowing about it. Hoo-wee, I can definitely understand you reactin' like that."

"Indeed", said Rarity emphatically. "I may be more of a cat pony, but the thought of what you described is awful. But if it helps, think of it as motivation for - ah, Rainbow, how did you so charmingly put it?"

"Kicking some undead butt!" cried Rainbow as she punched the air. "Come on Fluttershy, let's tag-team that sucker!"

Pinkie giggled softly. "Was that deliberate?"

Rainbow cocked her head. "Was what deliberate?"

"Vampire, sucker. That's a good one."

"Who are you calling sucker?" exclaimed Rainbow Dash as she planted her forehooves on the table and glared at Pinkie. She kept the stern facade up for perhaps 3 seconds before giving in to the giggles. Laughter spread around the table, until even Twilight could not remain stoic.

Twilight spread her forehooves out in front of her. "OK, I think perhaps we could all do with a little break. Let's get a little air and a glass of water and come back in 10 minutes. Sound good?"

As it turned out, that did sound good, and so they did indeed take a short break. But only a short one.

The Old House

Twilight stepped out of the auxiliary library - which she had started thinking of as the Game Room - and found Applejack sitting on a low couch in the hallway. The castle seemed to have supplied them for ponies waiting outside her doors, seemingly hang a much higher idea of her station and political career than she did. Her friend looked concerned, and Twilight sat down to her and made a sympathetic noise. "You OK?"

Applejack shrugged. "I probably am. But what happened to Fluttershy got me a little worried. I get that you're supposed to put a little of yourself into your character. I mean, it's like acting, right? But if that happens again, and for something more serious, I can see it gettin' real ugly real quick." She sighed, "I like this game, I really do, but I'm not sure if it's gonna keep being worth it."

Twilight nodded. "I know what you mean. But I think with Fluttershy and animals, it's a special case. To be honest, I knew that was going to hit her harder than anypony else, I just didn't know how hard. I was hoping it would light a fire under her, and now I'm worried I might have really upset her." Twilight slumped gracelessly. "If it was anyone else I'd go and apologise directly, but I think I ought to give her her space."

"I'll agree there. She'll go and be in her own little world for a bit, and then she'll come back to us when she's good and ready. Mac's the same way. You never, ever want to press him when he's upset, even if you mean well, but if you let him put his head on straight he'll come right back to you. Just be sure to say something before next week, you hear?"

"Yeah, I will. Luckily, I don't think anything else is going to come up which might have the same reaction any time soon. Gosh, I put this whole thing together because I wanted to share something with my friends. If I keep upsetting everyone, I'll feel like a total jerk."

Applejack punched her on the shoulder in what Twilight theorised was some kind of affectionate gesture understood only by rough-and-tumble types. "Way I see it, the fact that you're so worried about hurting folks is what means you aren't a jerk. You done messed up this time, but that happens to everypony once in a while. Just try to learn something from it and hopefully it won't happen again."

Twilight giggled despite herself. "Dear Princess Applejack, today I learned…"

Applejack smirked. "Something like that."

+++

As Applejack had predicted, Fluttershy was curled up at the roots of a nearby tree. Most ponies would have said she was alone, but Fluttershy knew better than that. The world and all its creatures surrounded her, letting her pour her feelings out and draw in some of the serenity that nature could bring. The world was huge, and Fluttershy took a kind of comfort in the thought that she was such a small part of such an enormous whole. No matter what happened in her life, the world would continue to turn and nature would continue to take its course.

She felt all of her stress and anxiety flow from her. Tree Hugger felt a similar experience with her strange poses, Eastern music and questionable medicinal herbs. Fluttershy found all of those too distracting to really meditate, but out in the wild she could find something of her own. When Tree Hugger had tried to meditate out in the natural world, she had claimed that birdsong and the feeling of pine needles were distracting, so she supposed it must take all kinds to make a world.

Casually, almost as if by accident, Rainbow Dash dropped out of the sky and sat on a bench down the road. She wasn't close by any means, but she was visible, and if Fluttershy were to decide she wanted a Pony to speak to, she'd be there. Rainbow knew from experience that even if Fluttershy didn't want to talk, knowing that she could would make all the difference in the world.

+++

Spike sat at the dining room table and sighed into his glass of orange juice. He looked up briefly as Rarity sat down next to him. Naturally she was radiant, but he found it hard to muster up the energy to appreciate her beauty. He gave her a halfhearted "Hey, Rarity."

She rubbed his back softly, and he shifted in his seat. "Hello there, dearest. Feeling blue?"

Spike huffed. "Sure I am. I've ruined everything, same as always."

"How so?"

"Well, when Twilight first mentioned wanting to play O&O, I was super keen on it. I pushed her into running this game, and now look what's happened. Maybe if I'd kept by big trap shut we could have just played Monopony or something."

Rarity hooked a hoof under Spike's chin and tilted his head up. "Spike, darling, you're talking nonsense. Firstly, Monopony would have caused far more strife than this. Secondly, how can this little unpleasantness possibly be your fault? Your friend suggested a game for us all, and you joined in. Maybe you think you pushed her, but I know you and Twilight. I'm sure if I asked her, she'd say she pushed you." Rarity paused for a second to collect her thoughts. "Then, of course, Twilight brought up a touchy subject, and Fluttershy reacted poorly. None of that can be blamed on you."

He jerked his head away, looking down. "Huh. Easy for you to say."

"Spike…"

He winced. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be getting moody at you. It's just…imagine you take us all out to the theatre or something, and then AJ and RD start arguing. And like, you knew they were going to bicker, but it turns into a real shouting match. Even if you knew it wasn't your fault, wouldn't you still feel like a total jerk?"

"Maybe so, but I'd still take us all to dinner after the show and try not to let things end on a sour note. So, care to show us all the wine list?"

Spike nodded. He hopped off his stool and strode back towards the game room, Rarity in tow. As he headed back, a thought occurred to him. "Say, Rarity? Do you think if I drank wine, it'd catch fire?"

Rarity shuddered. "Let's put it this way, dear. While it's a shame what happened to the old library, I'm glad that when you come of age you'll no longer be living in a house made of wood."

+++

When Twilight came back into the game room, she was surprised to see Pinkie already present and working on the Equestria Daily crossword, idly rolling a pencil around in her mouth. "Hey, Pinkie. Can I get you anything?"

"Hmm?" Pinkie looked up. "No thanks. Just waiting for everyone to get back from their voyages of self-discovery." She looked back down at the newspaper, and then jotted a word down.

"Fair enough. You sure you don't want a little more fresh air yourself? You can't have taken very long for your break."

"Nah. I've been practicing a kind of compressed relaxation, where I squeeze twice as much rest into half as much time."

"Well I'm not sure how resting really hard works, but OK. You let me know how that works out for you." The rest of the group drifted into the room singularly or in pairs. Eventually, Fluttershy took her place and gave Twilight a nod. Twilight took the cue and cleared her throat. "So you continue up into the hills, leaving the Roc behind…"

The motley crew strode up the path, almost daring the universe to throw something at them. The mountains ahead were grey and indistinct against the cloudy sky, and they had expected the path up to them to be increasingly dreary as well. Thus is was to their total surprise that they rounded a bend into the leeward side of one especially sharp hill and found themselves in a garden. They stepped through an empty space where once a gate had hung, amidst the remains of a wooden fence. Half of the posts were missing, and those that remained were thoroughly rotten.

Ahead, there was a manor house, clearly once bright and cheerful but now faded and falling inevitably into disrepair. The garden itself was similarly untended. Once they got over the initial shock, they could see that the flowers in their beds were long overgrown, choking the trellises and creeping into the once-pleasant path. The stones of the path were few and far between, most having been swallowed up by grass. Another path leading from the house to a greenhouse had clearly once been an avenue of pleasant trees, but was now lined with grey and twisted remains, pillars in dead bark. The greenhouse was choked with vines and almost half of its panes were broken or fallen from their frames.

The house itself had once been gaily painted in bright blued, yellows and pinks, though what little paint had not peeled off had faded leaving near-white patches amidst the grey stone and dark wood. The effect was of some kind of unspeakable disease, and the assembled heroes did not know if it would be more accurate to call the house dead or merely dying. Wandering Eye let out a long, low whistle. "D'you reckon Sunny knew about this?"

Dikembe shook his head. "She said nothing about anyone living further up in the hills. Why would she hide some old country house?"

"Maybe she's part of the conspiracy!" exclaimed Thunder.

"The conspiracy to hide an old empty house?" asked Buzzer.

Ragna took a sudden step back, and her talismans rattled. "N-not empty!" she declared, pointing a quivering talon at the house. Standing in one of the dark windows was a pony, gaunt and sickly pale. The onlooker stared down at the intruders with ancient eyes devoid of any clear emotion. As the trespassers stared back up, eyes wide, the figure slowly disappeared. It was as if a picture in sand had been blown away by the wind. The last thing to vanish was its grim face, and they could not help but feel that it was judging them as it faded out.

They stood in silence for almost a minute, until Silver Wing said, "Hey, I just had a great idea. Let's all leave the haunted house and go be turnip farmers or something nice and safe like that."

Ragna nodded enthusiastically. "That sounds wonderful. Anyone else in favour of beating our greataxes into plowshares?"

The others were disconcertingly stoic. "What did I say earlier?" asked Dikembe. "The undead are an abomination, and they cannot be suffered to exist. Either that is a spirit of evil, and so it must be destroyed - or it is an innocent soul trapped on the mortal plane, and so we must help it to pass on to the afterlife. In either case, we cannot simply ignore the presence of an undead creature like this."

"Well, yes" agreed Ragna., "But I thought you meant things more along the lines of Flankenstein's Monster. Spirits are different."

"Wait," asked Thunder, "Does Flankenstein even count as undead?"

"Flankenstein's Monster", insisted Dikembe. "Flankenstein was the creator, not the monster. That's, like, the most annoying misconception in the world."

"Well in a manner of speaking Doctor Flankenstein was a monster", replied Ragna.

The party suddenly felts if some great cosmic power, which ruled all their destinies, had just rolled its eyes and sighed.

Buzzer shook herself. "Well, whoever turns out to be the real monster, we got a ghost problem. Come on, gang!" The great cosmic power nodded.

"Wait a sec", objected Wandering Eye, "Don't we already have a job to do? You know, vampire kidnapping village folk and all? Can we really just put that on hold to go on ghost adventures?"

Dikembe shrugged. "Actually, yeah. Big important jobs like hat can usually be left on the shelf while you do a few side-quests. Unless there's something scheduled to happen at the next full moon, or on the thousandth anniversary of some great event, most things tend to be fairly flexible when it comes to timing."

"Huh. Well, I ain't gonna argue with something that convenient." She trotted along with the bulk of the group until only Ragna and Silver Wing were left outside. The garden, unpleasant enough when they were in a group, was outright threatening when it was just the two of them. Knight and barbarian alike shivered in their armour, backing slowly towards each other until they stood shaking flank-to-flank like a pair of saplings on a windy day.

"You know", pondered Ragna, "In ghost stories and horror movies it's typically the one or two characters on their own who get picked off first."

"Y-you mean the safest place is inside the haunted house?" asked Silver Wing as she shook so hard her hooves started to drill into the soft ground.

Ragna took a deep breath and steeled herself. "I'm afraid so. We'd better catch up and hope Thunder gets it first."

+++

"Hey!" cried Rainbow Dash. "I'm getting a little tired of this, Rarity."

"What?", asked Rarity with an innocent face almost as convincing as Sweetie Belle's. "Of all of us, you're probably the most likely to offend a ghost."

Dash's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You mean, like, accidentally, right?" The others shifted awkwardly in their seats, wary of the chance of another pony storming off.

Rarity shrugged demurely, ignoring Dash's glare. "Either that or you'd pick a fight with it."

Rainbow Dash sat bolt upright, her previous umbrage forgotten in the face of a chance at a little action. "Hey, that's a great idea!"

+++

Thunder stamped her hooves on the ground and struck a defiant pose. "Come out, you punk ghost! What's the matter? You scared?"

"So, uh, Dikembe. This how you expected to die?" asked Wandering Eye.

Dikembe weighed his words for a second before replying. "Maybe expected is a strong word, but if you'd told me about it ahead of time I wouldn't have been surprised."

Thunder's taunts echoed into the house. What had started as a bold challenge to all enemies seen and unseen, a mailed boot thrown against the world, faded into the dark and became somehow pathetic by comparison with its surroundings.

As the silence stretched on, the assembled adventurers looked around the foyer awkwardly. A stopped grandfather clock peered down at them from one corner, its white face hovering in the dark like a full moon. It seemed that they were the first to step into the house in a long time, as their passage woke great clouds of dust and sent them falling gently over the room.

Buzzer jerked her head towards the landing and gasped. "Something moved!" She sprang up the stairs like a crossbow bolt, and the others wasted no time in following her. When they got to the top, they found a hallway just as empty as the lobby. They scanned their surroundings, as alert as if they expected to see a snake - or something that would make them wish they had seen a snake. "What was it?" asked Buzzer, "Just my imagination?"

Ragna picked up a framed and faded portrait from the floor. It depicted as our looking mare in a dress with a high collar. "Here's our culprit" she declared, pointing at a nail poking out of the wall above her head. "Must've been just about to fall for years."

"Or was it knocked off by the ghost?" asked Wandering Eye, as she passed an appraising glance over the rest of the landing. Spotting a pair of silver candlesticks that might once have been beautiful, she swiped them with her wing and stowed them quietly in her bag. She was pretty confident none of the others had noticed, which was a plus.

"Why would a ghost go around knocking the pictures off the walls? In their own house?"

Dikembe stood up a little straighter. "Wait a minute, everyone. I know a spell to Detect Evil."

"Detect Evil?" asked Thunder, "That sounds like a pretty useful spell."

"It doesn't work the way you'd expect. I mean, I can't walk down the street and go, ping - she cheats on her taxes, ping - he stole that hat. But it can definitely find unnatural creatures, so here we go." He stood stock still, until his head snapped straight up. His eyes were glowing pale blue. "Something is definitely in this house with us. I can't say for sure it's out ghost, but I know it's undead."

The others met this news with a clank of shifting wargear, and the general effect was very striking. True, in Ragna's case the noise came from a failed attempt to sneak towards the door, but it was still impressive.

As Buzzer noticed her companion's doorward creeping, she stretched out one leg to block her path. "Say, Ragna," she began in a bright tone, "I've been meaning to ask. What's your deal? Aren't you supposed to be rough and tough and laugh in the face of danger?"

Ragna sighed, and resigned herself to the inevitable. It seemed she really would have to stay in the accursed house. "Ordinary danger is one thing, but spirits are quite another. The Spirit World is all around us, and I'd prefer not to tangle with it if at all possible."

Thunder jumped, and all eyes turned towards her. "You may not want to tangle with it, but it doesn't look like we have a choice!" She pointed a hoof and, sure enough, the gaunt figure from the window was standing at the end of the hallway. Its white coat was as bright as a bonfire in the gloom, and as it took a step towards the party they noticed that its hooffall was totally silent.

+++

"Aaaand, let's leave it there for now" said Twilight with a bright smile on her face. "Good golly, this is more tiring than you might expect!"

She was nearly drowned out by the sound of her friends leaping to their hooves and exclaiming at her. All except Spike, who stared at her for a few seconds before bursting out laughing. "You're gonna leave it there? You're a real stinker, Twi."