“Well? Are you going to show me or what?” the woman asked again, but the blue hands that covered her eyes remained in place as she was gently guided forward.
“Almost,” he replied as he looked back and forth between her and their destination. His eyes held a gleam of excitement the further he lead her within the warehouse, directing her past tables of discarded hardware and the winding circuits that filled the cathedral like building. Much had changed since assuming the role of a hero, but the mess of numerous unfinished projects still remained. As they continued towards the significantly tidier section of the workshop that had been cleared away fro the special occasion, he nodded at an awaiting brainbot. It echoed an electric ‘nom’ and flew away.
“Come on, tell me,” she playfully begged.
“Just a second,” he replied before cueing the rest of the brainbots with silent nods. “Trust me; you’re going to love it.”
“I better considering it’s all you’ve been doing for the last month,” she replied.
“And I’ll make it all up to you.” He gave her adoring glance before looking back to large object waiting for them. Stopping a dozen paces away, he removed his hands and dashed forward. “This is going to change everything!”
Blinking at the sudden return of her vision, she looked curiously to the large thing that was close in size to a tractor, and she smirked at the sight of the cheaply hand sewn sheets that covered it. She guessed that given how important it was, he had wanted to make the cover instead of his much more skilled partner that had yet to show himself. “Just what is that?” she asked in feigned scepticism.
“The future!” he replied dramatically, slowly waving his hand above his head as if he reached for the stars. “With this machine, I will be able to accomplish things that were normally thought impossible before, even by me! It will bring about a new age to Metrocity!”
She smirked at knowing no matter how many times she tried to correct him, he had never been able to pronounce it as ‘Metro City’. Thankfully for his sake, it had become rather endearing for her.
“Behold!” he said shouted while snapping his fingers. Immediately, numerous Brainbots noisily appeared from above and grabbed fabric covering with their metallic claws, and with simultaneous coordination, lifted it away. “The Matter Duplicator!”
Her eyes widen at large machine and she brought her hands to her mouth. “This is incredible,” she said with awe, causing his proud smile grow further. “Really, this is incredible. You still can’t design anything that looks remotely appealing.”
“Yes, I know it’s- wait, what?” Frowning, he looked back and forth between her and the machine. “It’s plenty appealing! Just look at the detail!” He thrusted a hand at the spikes that lined the edges of the machine. “See? Rounded spikes! Perfectly safe! And I’ve gone a shade brighter with the blue! It’s happier!”
She raised an eyebrow as she gave him a smug smile. “Rounded spikes, huh? I’m sure all the parents will feel safer for their children now that they won’t be poked as much.”
“People are too soft on their children,” he said dismissively. “Just look at me. I was raised behind barbed wire and I turned out just fine.”
“Right, because terrorizing a city for years on end with villainy would be considered ‘fine’,” she playfully replied. His shoulders slumped at the statement, and she rolled her eyes as she walked over to him. “I’m sorry, Megamind. I shouldn’t tease you about that.” She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle squeeze. “I know how hard you’ve been working since then. You’ve really done a lot of great things.”
“No, you’re right,” Megamind replied with a reminiscent tone, looking upward with a quivering lip. “I was a villain, and the best of them, too. I suppose it was inevitable that my dastardly evil charms and brilliant plans would leave a lasting scar.”
Rolling her eyes again, she directed his puppy-dog gaze back to his creation. “So, exactly what does this do?”
“I’m glad you asked,” Megamind replied excitedly as he rushed over to the controls. “The Matter Duplicator is my greatest invention yet! Gone will be the days of manually combing the streets for new villains or dividing my time amongst the city’s reconstructions projects. No longer will I be plagued with responding to a crisis after the initial damage has been wrought, or even be late to an autograph signing! Its power will be even more fantastic than my robotic Never Ending Ice Cream Truck!”
“And it does what, again?”
Megamind paused as he thought about in another perspective, and then returned to pushing the various buttons. “It copies things.”
“Copies things?” she said in a skeptical tone.
“Yes, things!” he replied with more enthusiasm. “And by things, I mean everything! Brainbots, chemicals, defense weapons! Anything!” With the last entry pressed, he pulled an unnecessarily large lever, and then dashed to the center of the machine that held a series of black pads that were beginning to glow blue. “But the most important thing it can copy is me!”
“Wait, Megamind! What are you-” she began as she reached a hand out to him. But before she could act, a sudden whine of turning machinery caused her to pause, and a bright light flashed from the pads. She instinctively threw up her arms to shield herself from the blinding light, but as quickly as it appeared, the brightness vanished. Blinking away the lingering spots in her vision, she hesitantly looked back to the machine, and her jaw dropped at the sight of Megamind, or rather, Megaminds.
The two Megaminds were grinning at each other, and then turned to grin at her. “Isn’t it great, Roxanne!” they said in unison. “Now I’ll be able to protect the city at every moment and have time for you!”
“You copied yourself!?” Roxanne said, still stunned.
“Yes, I did!” they said together.
Roxanne’s mouth opened and closed as many thoughts passed through her mind, each of them bringing a different reason as to why this was the worst idea she had ever heard. “I… I need a moment,” she said as she covered her face with the palm of her hand.
“What’s wrong?” one of them asked.
Peeking beneath her hand, she hoped that she was at least addressing the original. “Aren’t you worried that, oh, I don’t know, that maybe this will go horribly wrong? How am I even supposed to tell which one is the real you?”
“No, see, this is the best part!” one said as he ran up to her, leaving the doppelganger behind who simply stood with a happy smile. Megamind gently pulled her hands into his and wrapped their fingers as he looked into her eyes. “Each one will have my amazing mind and memory, which means they’ll know that I’m the real one and they’ll understand why they were created! But for extra measure, I’ve made it so they’ll accept whatever their surrounding environment is as normal until their brain patterns become set. Because of that, they’ll accept whatever truth is told to them and apply it as they begin to process problems on their own. All I have to do is explain to them how things work and voila!” He gently gripped Roxanne’s fingers. “They’ll be able to guard the streets, make public appearances, oversee the public projects, and more! With them taking care of the busy work, I’ll finally be able to spend more time with you!”
“Oh, Megamind…” Roxanne said. Pulling one of her hands from his caring grasp, she placed it against his cheek. “I feel… appreciative, that you’d go so far for just to spend more time with me. And granted, there’s been a rise in villains since you became good so I understand wanting to defend the city more, but this isn’t the answer.” She peeked over his shoulder at the other Megamind who still stood patiently with a carefree smile. “I have a bad feeling about this besides from, you know, the obvious moral questions about it all.”
“It’ll be fine,” he replied as he leaned in for a kiss, and Roxanne found herself subconsciously leaning in to meet him. “I’ve pretty much got all the kinks worked out, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
She stopped and pulled her head back. “Kinks?”
Megamind froze mid pucker, then glanced away. “You know… Bugs. It’s happens with every creation. Really, it isn’t a big deal.”
Roxanne gave him a scrutinizing look, noting that despite his usual shoulder shrug and the confident tone he spoke in, he was now avoiding eye contact. “What kinds of bugs?”
“Nothing important,” he replied before finding the bubbling beaker on the nearest table incredibly fascinating to look at.
“Megamind...”
“Oh, fine!” he groaned as he threw his arms up. “Minion!” Crossing his arms, he began tapping his foot impatiently as he muttered, “You know I hate it when you use that tone...”
“Right here!” Minion replied, appearing from behind one of the many tesla coils. With a brief cough, his gorilla-mecha suit strode casually towards them while giving a wide smile on his fishy face. “As you know, Roxanne, our projects, while incredibly important, aren’t without their faults. Honestly, besides Metro Man, whose perfect? But it isn’t healthy worrying about all the little details when there’s so much else to focus on!”
Megamind gave an agreeing nod as Roxanne simply raised an eyebrow.
“Everything gets documented, patched, and finalized before mass production. You know, people did questioned the safety of fortifying the structural integrity of the city while they still work inside of them. I guess the idea of having three-story tall robots scaling the walls didn’t sit well with everyone. And some still couldn’t distinguish the difference between the construction bots, despite their rounded spikes, from the previous ‘Evil Robot Suits’...” he air quoted with his fingers. “But even though we received justified and reasonable warnings, everything turned out alright! Sure, there were concern, and even some hiccups. But in the end everything turned out just fine thanks to our diligent and careful monitoring to ensure a solid end product. In fact, I can list a dozen more examples of this happening.”
Roxanne folded her arms at the smooth and eloquent explanation Minion gave, finding that she had the patience to let him continue for only moments more before raising a hand to stop him. Sighing, she turned to Megamind and gave him a disapproving glare. “Just because he wanted to be a Toastmaster, doesn’t mean he gets to become your spokesperson for your projects.”
“But he’s so good at it!” Megamind exclaimed.
Roxanne sighed again. “Just tell me what kind of bugs there are.”
“Well, we’ve narrowed them down to just a few now,” Minion happily answered as he began counting off from his fingers. “We’ve seen the copies suffer from memory loss, physical deformities, morale suppression, acne, skin discoloration, nano-woven muscle, excess hair, diarrhea, unstable personalities, and abnormally small geni-” Noticing the icy glare Megamind was giving him, Minion quickly shut his mouth and gave Roxanne a toothy grin. “Nothing too bad as you can see.”
Roxanne gave him a thankful nod, and then addressed both of them. “See? Do I really have to convince you that this is a bad idea? They sound dangerous”
“Roxanne, trust me,” Megamind said. “Everything will be fine. My copies are practically perfect now. They’re completely and utterly focused on helping. Why, they wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
A sudden crash made the three of them turn around, and they saw the copied Megamind grappling with one of the brainbots. “This poor woman is suffering from androdiziation! We need to perform surgery on her to remove this metal, stat!”
“Androdization?” Minion asked in confusion.
Roxanne and the real Megamind met eyes before he shrugged his shoulders. “You know, ‘practically’ is a strong word.”
“Hmhmm, and so is he apparently,” Roxanne replied.
Following her gaze, Megamind saw his copy frantically rushed towards the nearest bench while ripping off the brainbot’s mechanical arms with unnatural strength. What was more alarming, however, was that their struggle was leading them close towards a machine that was even more important than the Matter Duplicator and the Robotic Never Ending Ice Cream Truck combined. With a sinking dread, he ran after his copy. “Stop! Don’t go any closer!”
The brainbot was thrashing frantically within the copy’s arms, trying to pull itself and its remaining limbs free as the two of them started spinning in circles for control, ever drawing closer to the machine that held a glass container of suspended liquid that changed colors.
Megamind was already pulling his De-Gun from its holster, intent on dehydrating the copy and the brainbot at once. But even as he brought the crosshair over them, the two crashed into the glass, shattered it and causing the floating liquid to spill onto them.
An eerie silence came over the warehouse as everyone became still, and Megamind whispered, “Oh no…”
The copy and the brainbot suddenly began twitching as specks of color flashed across their bodies, and then to everyone’s horror, started to rapidly expand in a cartoonish fashion.
“Minion! Go plan ‘Get-Roxanne-Out-Immediately-With-The-Express-Water-Dive’, now!”
Before Roxanne could form a word at the inexplicable sight before her, Minion lifted her up and chucked her across the room to soft pad waiting for this exact purpose. Even as the air left her lungs from the relatively soft impact, her groan turned into a scream as the pad launched up towards the ceiling, sending her flying through a hole that opened within the ceiling for a clear and unobstructed flight to the ocean next to the warehouse.
Turning back to the matter at hand, Megamind and Minion saw that the copy and the brainbot were no longer grappling, but their bodies were already seizuring as their forms became bloated and warped, randomly growing smaller and larger at different parts on their body.
“Quickly, we have to contain them!” Megamind shouted. At once, dozens of brainbots swarmed the two calamities as others brought forth a circular cage made of wires and black hexagon pads. The Megamind copy was the first to be overwhelmed and thrown into the cage where it quickly expanding to the cages physical limits, then poofed into nothingness, leaving behind a glittering smoke cloud that twinkled away.
Everyone’s attention then turned to the still growing brainbot, but despite all their efforts, no one was to grab it as it suddenly warped into an impossibly thin line, then reappeared ten feet to the left. Its proportions were becoming erratic as it twisted and shined as its unnatural growths.
“Hurry!” Megamind commanded, feeling the panic rise within him by the second. It had already gone past the point where he could dehydrate the ticking brainbot given the nature of the problem, leaving his only hope that they could still somehow subdue it and disperse its body slowly through the containment cage. But even as the other brainbots attempted to hold their warped comrade down, it became clear that it was already becoming too challenging to even fit a portion of it within the containment sphere, and Megamind feared the resulting explosion would be too large for him and Minion to escape in time.
With a sinking sensation in his gut, he watched wordlessly as the other brainbots still attempted to grapple the monstrous brainbot, unknowingly moving themselves closer to the Matter Duplicator.
Megamind’s fear became tenfold as the near bursting brainbot collided with the Matter Duplicator with a metallic crunch, throwing the containment brainbots in all directions from the force of the impact. In their attempts to right themselves, a few of their mechanical claws scraped the console of the Matter Duplicator, inadvertently turning the machine on.
“Oh poopie…” Megamind said as the whining machine grew bright, then flashed across the entire warehouse at the exact moment the warping brainbot exploded with a poof.
Seconds passed as Megamind and Minion held their eyes shut in terror, waiting for the devastating destruction to sweep them from their feet into who knows what kind of horrors. But when nothing happened, they cautiously opened their eyes, and saw a relatively normal warehouse. The rest of the brainbots were murmuring quietly amongst themselves as they stared at the colorful ring that was the remnants their comrade showed their confusion as well.
“Huh… I expected something else to happen,” Megamind said as he lowered his arms.
“Where do you think it went?” Minion asked in awe.
“I don’t know,” Megamind replied. “But it’s gone from here, and Roxanne and Metrocity are safe.”
A minute of silence passed between them as they stared at the remains of the near disaster before the echo of the front door slamming reminded them that a furious and soaked Roxanne was coming.
“Do you think we should have told her about the experimental Dimensional Goo?” Minion asked.
“Maybe later, when we’re in less trouble,” Megamind answered, followed by a gulp
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Faraway…
“Ooooo… My head,” a voice groaned. Fighting through the pounding headache, it called out, “Minion?”
“Y-Yes… I’m here, sir,” another voice replied, equally as weary and confused.
Opening his eyes, Megamind looked about the lair, squinting from how hazy his vision was. “What happened?”
Feeling his own headache dissipating, Minion opened his mouth to reply, but found he that didn’t know. The last thing that he could remember was a blinding light filling the whole building, an odd popping sensation, and then the feeling of everything settling back to normal. Sitting himself up, Minion dizzily spun within his fish jar, trying to restore his sense of balance. Once he was settled, he looked about the lair. “Everything seems to be intact,” he announced. “The beakers are unbroken, the tesla coils are sparking, the ceiling bombs looked accounted for, and the brainbots are still floating.”
Minion watched as the brainbots slowly righted themselves from their upside down or sideways positions in mid air. They were slowly accustoming themselves as well as their red eyes scanned the lair for damage. Minion turned his head to the windows, and tilted sideways in his fish bowl. “Although, I don’t remember there being trees outside.”
“Trees?” Megamind replied as he brought his hand to his head. But instead of feeling his fingers running running across his temples in a soothing fashion, he clunked himself squarely with a solid limb. after shaking his head from the painful impact, he looked down at his arm.
“Minion?”
“Yes, sir?”
“Did I always have hooves?”
Minion frowned from the question, then turned to Megamind,and saw instead a blue pony-like creature staring at its hoof in puzzlement. It was a strange sight at first, given its deep blue coat and black mane. Stranger still was the image of a brain within a domed glass jar on the pony’s hind legs; a picture that was very reminiscent to the brainbots control module. But the longer Minion stared at the pony, the less strange it seemed to him. Even as the pony looked to him with distinct and familiar green eyes, just beneath the bulge that could be called a cranium, it all started to feel normal. Even the horn that poked out from the forehead was starting to appear natural, and Minion eventually concluded that despite some small oddities, the pony was indeed his lifelong master. “I believe you did, Sir. But I’m afraid I can’t remember much else, or even what happened to us.”
“Is that so…” Megamind replied as he flexed his leg in front of him. “Funny, I can’t seem to remember much either.” Examining his body further, Megamind scratched at the picture of a brain within the glass dome, looked beneath his hooves, twitched his ears, and even flicked his tail, finding each sensation holding a new but familiar motion to it. When he brought his hooves back to his head again, he felt some relief at the more reassuring sensation of his larger than normal skull, but he paused when he felt the protruding horn on his head. Casting his eyes up, he was just barely able to make out its tip. “Was there always a horn on my head?”
“I can’t remember with certainly, Sir,” Minion replied. “But I suppose you always did.”
“Huh,” Megamind simply replied, gently feeling the subtle, grooved lines that curved along the horn towards the tip. “So that would make me… make me uh…”
“I believe the word is unicorn, Sir.”
“Unicron,” Megamind whispered, still feeling his horn in curiosity.
Confident that the identity issue had been settled, Minion stood up. “Everything seems fine in here. I’ll begin damage assessment from the outside.”
Megamind’s ears perked up and he scrambled onto his hooves. “Wait! I’ll come too!” Minion waited patiently as Megamind stood onto his legs, only to collapse moments after. Megamind furrowed his brow and tried again, this time more successful but still appeared to be having trouble giving how shaky his steps were.
“Do you need any assistance?” Minion offered with an outstretched hand.
“No, I’m quite alright,” Megamind replied, the entirety of his focus on placing the next hoof after another. He soon reached Minion, then glanced up towards him and gave a curious stare. “Were you always so tall?”
“I think so?”
“Huh,” Megamind replied. “Shall we, then?”
Slow deliberate steps eventually became a confident stride as Megamind fell into an easier pace beside Minion, and he found that moving was requiring less and less of his concentration. By the time they reached the front door on the other end of the lair, Megamind could walk casually with only having to glance down now and then. Despite the feeling of pride within Megamind at figuring out the problem with just a little effort, and the joy Minion felt that his master was starting to look better, apprehension filled both of them as they opened the doors together.
After adjusting to the outdoor light, they saw that the lair was surrounded by a dense forest that grew so tall, the highest branches were well above the roof. The fact that any sunlight could penetrate the thick foliage at all was questionable despite the beams of light that somehow found their way through.
“Where are we?” Megamind asked as he stepped out into the thick grass.
“I have no idea, Sir,” Minion replied, performing a three-sixty swivel within his bowl. “But wherever it is, it sure isn’t Kansas.”
“What’s a Khan-zas?”
“It’s,” Minion said, but paused when he couldn’t answer. “Actually, I have no idea.”
Megamind tentatively sniffed the air, and gave the otherwise dark and disheartening environment a neutral and curious look. “Well, whatever happened to us, it appears we are left with more questions than answers.”
“An astute observation, Sir.”
“Then it’s settled.”
“What is?”
Megamind gave him a sly smile, and then looked back to the haunting woods. “We start by figuring out what we can remember and where we are. Assemble the brainbots and have them scout out our surroundings. In the meantime, we’ll check the lair for further damages and try to piece this unusual puzzle together.”
“Yes, sir!”
Feeling more at ease with his body, Megamind spun around, and gave a few prideful trots back to the lair. There was a sense of excitement filling him even though their odd and mysterious circumstances should have done otherwise. But a lifelong sense of determination and motivation overrode the dwindling sense of confusion. “Something important is happening here, Minion. We just need to find out what.”
With Minion’s command, a large number of brainbots vanished into the woods, casting menacing red and blue lights against the bark and foliage as their electronic voices echoed within the dense vegetation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“The basement’s intact!” Megamind called out as he climbed up the stairwell. “Most of the generators are functional and the few damaged ones should be easy enough to repair.” When there was no reply when he reached the last step, Megamind looked about the expansive lair. “Minion?” he called more loudly.
“Over here, sir!” Minion shouted back with a muffled voice.
Looking to the corner, Megamind saw the multitude of computer monitors begin to flicker with static, and he walked over to them. “How are the command modules?”
“Some of them are fried, but all in all, good shape! We’ll be operational in no time!”
As Megamind approached, he saw Minion’s mechanical and furry gorilla legs sticking out from beneath the large control console that was the base of the monitors. “Any response from the brainbots?”
“We’ll know soon! I just… need to… finish this last… section!”
The sounds of metal bending and circuits sparking satisfied Megamind enough to prevent further questioning, and so he headed towards his rolling chair to seat himself. But as he lifted one of his front legs onto it and sit in it as normal, he paused at the realization that it wouldn’t work, and frowned at the unexpected puzzle.
“Minion?” Megamind said without turning away from the physical dilemma.
“Yes, sir?”
“I don’t mean to sound odd, but how exactly did I sit in my chair?”
“Like you’ve always have, Sir!” Minion happily replied from within the console.
“Right, of course…”
Running a hoof through his mane, idly thinking how strange it was to feel his hair while mentally tackling the odd issue, he smacked his lips. “Alright then. Let’s try this.”
Minion in the meanwhile, was finishing the last rerouted connection, and flailed his fish fins at the job now done. The lair was near full operational capacity again, the brainbots were exploring their environment, and his master appeared to be otherwise unaffected from the strange event that had occurred. All he needed to do was focus on keeping everything normal and looking out for the most important thing in his life.
“I’m done in here!” Minion shouted as he shimmied his way out from beneath the console. Halfway through exciting, he stopped from the sight of Megamind struggling with the chair. His back legs were sitting properly as Minion imaged as they would, but his front legs were stretched downward at their limits and gripping the ground as he attempted to steady the rolling chair, nearly sending it slide each time he tried to lift his hooves up and sit in normally.
“Is everything okay?” Minion asked as he stood up.
“Just… a little… furniture difficulty!” Megamind replied as he tried to keep balance, flinching each time the chair threatened to roll away and send him falling face forward.
“Here,” Minion happily said as he grasped the back end of the chair with one hand, and scooped up Megamind’s chest with the other, settling him into the seat in a full sitting position.
“Ah, thank you, Minion,” Megamind replied. He felt awkward sitting in the chair as a dog might do, but he wasn’t about to attempt to chance the matter again.
“We’re ready to receive signal from the brainbots now, Sir.”
“Excellent.” Megamind looked to the controls eagerly, then held a sad realization that he was nowhere near them. “Um, Minion?”
“On it,” Minion said, already pushing the chair closer.
Megamind’s rubbed his hooves against each other as he approached the console, then stopped when he saw that the buttons were at nose height.
“Was it always this tall?”
“I’m… not sure…” Minion replied, equally as confused. “I’ll see about getting it lowered.”
“Low enough for a shorter chair, too,” Megamind added. “Raise me up.” After a quick readjustment of the chair’s height settings, Megamind resumed rubbing his hooves together, and he reached out across the control console. With a few button presses and toggle flicks, the monitors came to life, replacing the static screens with various displays.
“Look at that, Minion,” Megamind said after glancing at the telemetry that each brainbot reported beneath their video feed. “They still haven’t left the forest!”
“Just how big do you think it is?” Minion asked with a note of trepidation at the possible fact there might be no end to the trees.
“I have no idea,” Megamind replied in a focused tone as he pressed more buttons. He switched between the live feeds of the brainbots, each of them showing nothing but green as they whizzed through the forest. Nothing but thick, wide bearing trees covered in moss, and nearly impenetrable foliage that prevented them from seeing more than a few feet in front of them. The gravity of the situation was beginning to set in as minute after minute show nothing but endless forest, until that is, Minion pointed to one of the smaller screens who video became starkly different than the rest.
“That one!”
Megamind quickly brought it up on the main monitor, and they watched with held breaths as the forest slowly gave way to what looked like a grassy field.
“We found the edge!” Megamind declared. Relieved that the entire world wasn’t a dense forest, he remotely ordered the brainbot to move to the nearby hill that was ahead for a better view. The grass filled the video entirely as the brainbot hovered up the incline before finally coming to the peak and looking at landscape.
“Look at that,” Minion said with awe.
The monitor showed a large town with numerous houses scattered about between much brighter and cheerful looking trees, streams, and colorful flower bushes. It appeared as a slightly technologically unadvanced town the two story thatched houses and cobble streets that snaked between them. But what drew Megamind’s attention the most were the figures walking those streets, and though their forms were hard to make out from the brainbot’s distance, they appeared similar in shape and size to him. Surprisingly, one of those figures suddenly took to the sky, and Megamind and Minion watched with bated breath as the brainbot panned the view to follow the soaring figure until the brainbot settled its lens on a distant mountain. Focusing its image, the brainbot revealed a large and extravagant city built into the edge of the mountain.
“A city,” Megamind whispered, marveling at its towering structure and spires. Then, something clicked inside of him, and his eyes widened. “Oh! Oh! Minion!”
“What is it?”
“I can remember!” Megamind replied enthusiastically as he turned to Minion. “I can remember who we are! The pieces are still coming back to me, but I remember our purpose!”
“Really?” Minion asked in hope. Relief was flowing through him from the fact that his master has rediscovered their goal in life. He didn’t care what it was, just as long as he could be there to help.
“I do!” Megamind said. “We’re villains!”
“Villains?” Minion repeated, though it was more with well received surprise than doubt.
“Yes! Supervillains! We’re the bad guys!”
“The bad guys?”
“The bad guys!”
Minion smiled toothy grin as he threw his arms up. “We’re the bad guys!”
Megamind pushed himself back from the console without care, sending the chair rolling as he lept off and starting happily trotting in place. Minion accompanied him, and they danced around each other as they chanted, “We’re the bad guys!”
Minion, however, soon paused as he noticed the screen change, and pointed at it. “Sir, the brainbot.”
Megamind turned around and watch as the brainbot descended the hill, moving towards the nearest stretch of road that lead to the town. As it did, a sign came into view, and the brainbot stopped in front of it. Zooming into the legible text, it showed the word ‘Ponyville’.
“That’s where we’ll start, Minion,” Megamind in a hushed tone. He and Minion approached the console to look closer at the screen, eying in marvel at their first target for their villainy. A devilish grin spread on Megamind’s face. “Ponyvile.”
Minion nearly corrected him that given the two ‘L’s in the word, it was pronounced, ville and not vile, but the thought left at the realization that the master of all villainy could call it whatever he wanted to. The fact that everything was coming back together and Minion could recall some parts of their life and all the evil plans they created assured him all was right.
“I hope you’re ready, because Megamind is here,” the Megamind stated dramatically as he raised a hoof towards the monitor, reaching out as if he could grasp it all. He was the spitting image of a evil unicorn, and he intended to show the unsuspecting town his full might. “And your town will be mine! Today will be the beginning!” His eyes twinkled as he watched the images appear one after another on the monitors, revealing every new detail that appeared. With help from Minion, Megamind sat back into the chair and resumed control of the brainbot.
“A new beginning from what, Sir?” Minion asked.
“I don’t know,” Megamind replied without looking.
Minion waited for him to continue, but Megamind appeared to be too enthralled with Ponyville to explain. “Shouldn’t we be figuring that out, Sir?”
“Oh, Minion, you mustn’t let yourself live in the past,” Megamind cheerfully replied as he whirled the chair so that he could face him. “Why worry about what happened yesterday when we can decide what happens tomorrow!”
“Do you even remember what happened yesterday?”
“Of course! Yesterday we-“ Megamind paused when the information didn’t come to him, and his excitement turned to perplexion. “Huh, you know, I can’t seem to recall what happened yesterday.” He brought a hoof to his chin as he thought about it, and Minion felt relief at the fact Megamind was now treating the matter more seriously.
“That is odd,” Megamind said as he scratched his chin. “Oh well, can’t worry about it now.” With a dismissive shrug, his carefree smirk returned and he whirled back to the monitors. “I’m sure it wasn’t important.”
Minion’s jaw dropped. “B-But Sir! What if it’s something important? Isn’t it, I don’t know… alarming that we can’t remember what happened?”
“Oh, Minion,” he replied while spinning the chair again, all while chuckling humorously. “That’s in the past, remember? We have to keep looking to the future! We must accept our strange and fruitful circumstances. We must ferment in opportunity’s juices until we are ripe with sweet, delicious evil! Like an evil pomegranate! Don’t you see? This is the chance of a lifetime!”
“It is?”
“Yes, it is,” Megamind whispered in glee. Then, considering the matter solved, he whirled back to the console to look over the newest images.
“If you say so,” Minion replied with an apprehensive tone.
Without further distraction, Megamind and Minion eyed the video feed. “Look at them, Minion. See how they move? How peaceful and happy their lives are? Can you imagine anything so dreadfully dull?”
Minion leaned in closer to the screen of the figures going about their day. “I’m afraid it’s a little hard to see, Sir. Maybe you should move the brainbot closer?”
“No, we must stay remain hidden,” Megamind replied with an ominous tone. “This is a ripe and unsuspecting town! When we announce ourselves, it will be with flair, style, and lasers!”
Minion gave a toothy smile. “All about the presentation, Sir?”
“It’s always about the presentation,” Megamind agreed with a nod. “Until we make our grand entrance, we must remain in the shadows, biding our time until we’ve learned more about our target.” Megamind lifted his hooves and wiggled them menacingly, ignoring the fact that he felt he ought to have tinnier appendages to wiggle instead. “We shall be Ponyville’s elusive ghost, floating just beyond their edge of their reality until the moment is right. We will be a specter of mystery and fear.”
“How evil of you, Sir.”
“Thank you, Minion.”
After reviewing the surveillance photos for some minutes more, Megamind ordered the brainbot to return to the lair, then hopped off his chair and started walking away. “I must go there, Minion. I must see this raw material we will be working with.”
“Shall I get your costume prepared, Sir?” Minion asked as he followed.
“That won’t be necessary, Minion. This mission requires stealth. My glorious and, without doubt, jaw dropping outfit would simply draw too much attention. They would be unable to help themselves but be in awe at my presence. No, I must blend in with them; become one of their society and their everyday lives.”
“So, as you are then.”
Megamind halted and gave Minion an incredulous look. “What are you, crazy? I’m not going out in public without any clothes on!”
“But you aren’t wearing any now, Sir,” Minion pointed out.
Megamind frowned as he looked himself over, balancing on the tips of his hooves as he glance at every inch of himself that he could. Then, with an incredulity expression, he looked forward again and coughed. “So I am. That’s rather odd, isn’t it?”
Their eyes met, and Minion merely shrugged.
Megamind coughed again into his hoof. “Well then, it seems I require some garments.” As casually as he could, despite his growing sense of discomfort, he looked about the lair for some item of clothing. He spotted the large pile of cloth in the corner of the room, though, the thought as to why there was a pile of fabric with nothing else around them didn’t register on his mind. “That will do.”
Minion followed his gaze then frowned. “Those, Sir?”
“Yes, those will do.”
Minion’s fins twitched at the poorly stitched material before he reluctantly walked towards them with heavy steps. “If you say so, Sir.” He picked them up and tried to hide his disgust at their quality.
“And Minion?”
“Yes, Sir?” Minion replied as he turned around, but he saw no one behind him. Tilting his fish head in confusion, he was about to call out before spying Megamind poking his head out from behind one of the tesla coils, his otherwise blue cheeks sporting a shade of pink.
“Please hurry.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hidden behind a bricked corner, and masked beneath the hood of a plain but form fitting cloak that covered his entire body, Megamind tentatively peeked his head out to the lively street ahead of him. The hours of walking through the forest meant that it was early afternoon by the time he had reached the town, and despite his earlier confidence, apprehension was starting to set in. It was one thing to look upon a golden platter of unsuspecting ponies from a brainbot’s camera. It was another entirely to see them up close. And when he did arrive, he frowned in disgust at how many of them were going about their lives naked.
“Clearly they are more primitive than I thought,” he muttered to himself. Though, his plain appearance had not been his preference, and he wished he could have used the form changing watch or even bring his De-Gun. But even after learning how to hold objects again, he found that none of them fit his body, and he had been dismayed at the fact that Minion would have to resize his entire arsenal.
His dread at the situation, however, was quickly replaced with curiosity as he began to notice certain details of the ponies. While some of them had horns just like he did, although his was hidden rather uncomfortably beneath his hood, most of the ponies appeared to have no horns at all. Even more surprising was that there were ponies that even had wings, and he then recalled the video of one of them flying into the sky. Megamind blinked in surprise as he looked more closely at various differences between the townsfolk, confirming that he wasn’t seeing things as one of the ponies with wings flew over the heads of those walking on the ground.
“Fascinating,” he said to himself. “Extreme physiological differences, various shades of color, and… are those tattoos?” Frowning again, he saw each pony showcasing a colorful and differently decorated tattoo on their upper hind legs, and he unconsciously reached a hoof to touch his own through the cloak. “Genetic pigmentation? A current cultural phenomena? Social status? What are they? What’s their purpose?”
Leaning further from his hidden position away from the street, he noticed the much smaller ponies he assumed were children passing by had no markings at all. “Hmm… Perhaps a coming of age ritual? It seems there’s more to learn than I first thought.”
A faint crackling noise emanated from the lining on the lower portion of his hood, and a garbled voice spoke, *Brzt* – Code, How are you doing, Sir? – *Brzt*
Megamind pulled the lower portion of the hood closer to himself as he whispered into the hidden receiver. “Code, Ready to proceed.”
Hoping that his decision of preserving dignity with clothes wouldn’t betray his identity, Megamind gulped and stepped out onto the street. It was immediately a poor decision.
“Look out!” a high pitched voice shouted.
Megamind whirled around to catch the final moments of an orange blur speeding straight for him, and he jumped back to make way as it zipped by. One of his clumsy hooves, however, had been standing on the edge of his cloak, and the snag caused him to fall backwards in a tumble, knocking over a nearby barrel. That barrel happened to be the sleeping spot for a particularly grouchy cat, and it expressed its annoyance with a piercing yowl, followed by a swipe of its sharp claws. Megamind shouted in pain at the laceration, and unconsciously bucked out with his back legs, knocking the barrel over with such force that it crashed into the adjacent water drain that ran along the side of the house. Snapping at the pressure, the drain dislodged itself from the roof and crashed into the street with a loud and metallic clang, causing ponies to jump out of the way.
Everypony froze from the echo metal and the following piercing scream, and concern rippled through the crowd at the suspicion that another monster had entered town. But apart from the bent water drain that laid across the street, the crumbled roof tiles it had torn itself from, and the knocked over barrel upon which a bristling cat hissed from, there was no monster in sight. Even more confusing, the pony who screamed was nowhere to be seen, but had they paid attention some moments earlier, one might have seen the panicked cloak figure dashing around a building’s corner in what could possibly be described as the most clumsy and terrified escape as possible.
Two blocks away and huffing within another alley, Megamind panted as he leaned against a brick wall.
*Brzt* – Code, Is Everything Alright, Sir? – *Brzt*
With a shaky hoof, Megamind pulled the transmitter close to his mouth. “Code, Just Fine,” he replied between his heavy breaths. Letting go of the hood, he leaned his head back and groaned. That was too close, not at all how I imagined. Not only had I almost blown my cover, my perfect complexion was nearly ruined by that dastardly feline.
As his heart rate slowed to normal, his attention was drawn to the tugging sensation the hood gave him on his horn. The irritating sensation made him shift his eyes upwards as he scowled, barely able to see the pointed appendage. Was having a horn always this annoying? He fussed about the cloak, trying to find just the right placement of the fabric around the horn, but only became more bothered at its stifling touch, and even his tail started to flick in annoyance.
“Honestly, what’s the point of even having a horn?” he grumbled. After fruitless attempts to completely cover his head, he found he was most comfortable position was when his horn wasn’t covered at all. The cloak was still draped over his large skull, but his forehead and face was more exposed than how he wished them to be.
Sighing at the problems of having dignity, he decided that it was much more preferable than constantly having the irritable snagging and rubbing sensation the fabric had on his horn. How could Minion forget to cut out a hole for me? None of my other disguises bothered me this much.
With one last glance at the horn at the edge of his vision, and a simply head shake to test that the hood wouldn’t fall off entirely, Megamind turned back towards the street, reading himself for the next attempt. But when he did, he found a small pony starting up at him with wide eyes.
“Um…” Megamind mumbled in surprise. He quickly looked about for anyone else, but found it was just the two of them in the alley. Looking back down at the unexpected guest, he slowly asked, “Oh-lo?”
“Hello,” the small pony said back.
A little boy? Megamind thought, not having been able to guess the pony’s gender until it spoke.
“Are you new here?”
A moment of panic flashed across Megamind’s face, but he soon relaxed as he straightened his posture and gave an wide smile. “Why, yes I am. I’m new resident of Ponyvile.”
“Oh, okay,” the small pony responded.
Moments passed as the small pony continued to stare up at Megamind, and Megamind was feeling the corners of his smile beginning to crack. Then, after an uncomfortable amount of time, the small pony tilted his head to the side innocently and whispered, “Pinkie’s going to get you.”
“Excuse me?”
Without another word, the small pony turned around and ran off, leaving Megamind baffled and worried with an agape jaw. A strange shiver passed through his body, and he shook his head side to side. “No, I mustn’t lose focus.”
Stamping his hoof on the ground, he breathed deeply as he readied himself once again for another foray into the town, and he stepped back out onto the street.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Carrots! Get your carrots here! Hey, you!” a deep voice called out.
Megamind stopped in the middle of the market as he looked towards the gruff looking male pony that was pointing a hoof at him. Megamind looked behind them, then turned back to the pony and pointed to himself.
“Yeah, you!” the pony replied. “Come here and take a look at these wonderful carrots!”
Megamind shifted his eyes back and forth as he eyed the surroundings, and then cautiously stepped towards the stall, noting that the stall keeper had no horn or wings. “Carrots, you say?” he asked with feigned interest.
“Best ones in town!” the pony boasted.
“Best ones, eh?” Megamind said. With one last glance at his surroundings and at the boisterous pony, he leaned in to inspect the baskets of carrots.
“I got your whole sticks, thin sticks, raw sticks, diced, cut, shredded… You name it!”
“Hmm, impressive,” Megamind commented as he sniffed one of the baskets. The scent of the vegetables send a shooting sensation through his mind, and his stomach grumbled at the lovely aroma. Having hiked through a forest the entire morning and avoiding a disastrous entrance had built an appetite that he had been unaware of.
“Oh!” Megamind exclaimed as his mouth began to water. “This aroma… It smells delicious! Why, I’ve never smelled anything so wonderful!”
The pony gave a proud grin, and let out a hearty laugh. “I see that you’re a pony who has good taste!”
Megamind looked to the various cuts of carrots with renewed interest, doing his best not to salivate onto them. “Look at this color! They’re practically shining!”
“Only the best for my customers!” the pony said with a nod, speaking louder as his grin spread. “Why don’t you try a sample?”
“How generous of you,” Megamind replied without taken his eyes of the delectable treats. Picking a thin cut carrot, he slowly brought it his eyes for further inspection, aweing at its appetizing appearance before plopping it into his mouth. With one crunchy bite, Megamind’s eyes popped open at the bursting flavor. “F-F-F-Fantastic!”, stammered.
The pony gave another hearty laugh. “What’d I say? Best in town!”
“This flavor! This texture! Why, it’s the most delicious thing I have ever tasted!” Megamind proclaimed, trying to relish each bite of the carrot before swallowing it whole. “How have I missed out on this?”
“Well, for ten bits you can take a hoof-ful of carrots home with ya. But for a pony that can appreciate such fine produce, I’ll bring it down to seven bits.” The pony propped his elbow on the stand as he leaned in. “So, what’d ya say?”
Megamind, however, was still preoccupied with the overwhelming flavor. “I must try more! Apples, celery, peaches!”
“Well, after you buy some carrots, I know just the apple vendor who-“
“Nuts, berries, plums!”
“I know just the ponies who sell those too. So how about you-”
“Pears, pineapple, steak!”
The pony's grin quickly turned into a confused frown. “Excuse me?”
“Oh, what about pork?” Megamind said as his eyes widened further at the possibilities. “Or chicken! I bet even chicken tastes better as well! What a wonderful, wonderful town!”
The pony was now leaning away with a worried expression from the now unsettling look of joy on Megamind’s face. He felt a shiver pass through him when Megamind whirled towards to him and planted his hooves on to the stall, and leaned forward until he was uncomfortable close with a frightening grin. “Do you have chicken?”
The pony paled at the question. “Um… No.”
Disappointment past over Megamind’s face, but the pony paid more attention to a more unusual detail. Being so close, he could see beneath Megamind’s hood, and the pony's sense of unease grew at the sight of the larger than normal head hidden beneath. The pony had simply assumed at first glance it was just Megamind's mane causing the bulge.
“Then I must find somebody who does,” Megamind replied with fierce determination while looking to the distance at nothing in particular. “My good man, where would one might find some chicken?”
“Man?”
Megamind’s new quest was put on hold as he removed himself from the stand and looked at the pony with a neutral face. “Yes, I’m speaking to you. You are man aren't you?”
“What in Equestria is a man? I’m a stallion you lunatic,” the pony replied as he started to back away from his stand.
“A stallion?” Megamind curiously replied. “That’s funny, I could have sworn the word was man.” He brought a hoof to his chin in deep thought. “It must be from whatever caused our strange but fateful arrival here. Memory loss, perhaps? This town does have many things I don’t recognize. But if the word ‘man’ has been replaced with ‘stallion’, then what else is different?” Megamind pondered the question for some moments. “Um, excuse me, my good stallion, would you be willing to answer a few-“
Turning back to the stall, Megamind found the pony was nowhere to be seen. Megamind quickly scanned the market, looking for any hints of his return, or anyone else for the matter that happened to be looking in his direction at the moment. Seeing neither, he casually grabbed one of the baskets of carrots, and quickly made off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After devouring the last carrot, Megamind let out a content sigh as he settled himself on the park bench. “I think I can get used to this place,” he said happily. Lazily looking about, he saw the park was bustling with activity, ranging from ponies flying their kites to couples sharing quaint picnics. It was peaceful scene, one that only reaffirmed in his mind at how this town was the perfect location for his villainy.
Since his arrival in town, every sight he saw held a mix of new yet familiar sensations, as if he was discovering the world for a second time. Ponies went about their day with a lively mood, from watering their gardens to leisurely shopping and everything in between, creating a pleasant and peaceful atmosphere within the town. Thus far, the only concerning events where his near disastrous first step that was followed by the ominous warning of a ‘Pinkie’, the odd stall keeper who had vanished without a trace from a simple question, and the strange glances he got from how he sat on the bench.
Nobody else in sight was sitting on a bench for him to compare against, but he was getting the feeling that he was perhaps doing it wrong. Although, when a mint colored pony who also had a horn and sported a musical tatoo walked by, she took one look at his slouched form and dangling legs before giving him an approving grin before she was dragged away mare she was with. After pondering the equine nature of everything, Megamind simply assumed that the word for female was ‘mare’ considering stallion was used in the stead of man, but he wasn’t quite sure yet.
But that would be a puzzle for another time when as he returned his thoughts to the present.
What a grand stage to announce my entrance to the world, he mused as he watched a few children run by. Ponyvile is smaller than I thought, but it’s filled with rich material that brings so many plans to mind. Everybody just waiting for something interesting to happen in their happy but otherwise dull lives. Grinning evilly to himself, Megamind hopped off the bench. And I, Megamind, master of all villainy, will bring that excitement and wonderment to you. Slowly raising his head dramatically, he narrowed his eyes as he began to let out a quiet laugh. How blessed you are, citizens of Ponyvile. Soon you will know the true glory and terror of my awesome work, and your peaceful lives will never be the same again. I will conquer this town and all shall know my name!
Raising his hoof in the air, Megamind manically laughed into the sky. “Your peace will be at an end!”
His declaration was promptly interrupted by an explosion that shook the ground, followed by the appearance of a monstrous creature that had multiple heads. It reared itself over the houses at the edge of town and let out a terrible roar that echoed for miles.
Megamind stood frozen as ponies around him began to scream and run each way. What.
“It’s a hydra! Run!” one pony screamed by.
“Alright, you all know the drill. Single file now.”
“Call the guards!”
“We need to leave quickly!”
“By Celestia, again?”
Megamind watched in stunned observation as the monster smashed a house to bits, swinging its massive heads each way as it snapped and roared at the ponies undoubtedly running in fear nearby it.
“Look! It’s Princess Twilight!” one pony suddenly shouted.
“And Rainbow Dash!”
“It’s all the Elements of Harmony!”
Following the pointing hoofs, Megamind saw a purple and rainbow streak blaze through the sky, diving directly towards the monster and swirling about it in a mad fashion. The monster roared and snapped at the two blurs, but it was unable to catch either of them within its jaws. The purple figure shot beams of light that stunned and damaged the various heads, and the rainbow one zipped and ducked at it pounded away at the monsters hide with considerable strength. The monster bellowed in pain as it continued to grab the two blurs with renewed ferocity.
Megamind couldn’t make out the exact details from the distance, but he could of sworn he even saw a thin line of rope ensnare one of the heads and yank it down towards the street. There was an even flash of light that looked like shooting crystals that blinded the monster, and even one pink blur that, despite not being able to fly like the other two, poked and prodded the monster with unbelievable speed and acrobatics. At one point the echo of a cannon followed by fireworks sounded across the town, and one of the monster’s many heads was suddenly decorated like a clown’s face.
The ponies nearby ooed and awed at the extravagant fight, all while shouting cheers of encouragement as the monster was pushed away from the town and eventually out of sight. Megamind was the only pony who didn’t cheer.
“Another day, another monster!” a stallion said nearby.
“Yup, and it was a hydra this time too. I hope no one was in that house when it first arrived…”
“You can always count on the Elements of Harmony to take care of things. I don’t even know why we need the town guard at this point. They’d probably be better off somewhere else since not every other town has heroes like ours.”
Eventually the commotion died down, and the ponies went about their daily lives again, peacefully enjoying the day as if a three story monster hadn’t just attacked their town. Megamind still remained frozen in place, staring with wide eyes distant spot the monster and valiant ponies that fought it had vanished at. The notion that he would be the first one to terrorize the town had been shattered the instant each pony began treating the monster as if it were just another a weekly occurrence. But as heart breaking as that was, the spectacle of the ponies that fought who had been called heroes was more than enough to make up for it.
Megamind urgently raised the transmitter to his mouth. “Minion?”
*Brzt* – Yes, Sir? – *Brzt*
“I want everything accounted for and up and running by the time I get back to the lair. We have a lot of work to do.”
*Brzt* – Did something happen? – *Brzt*
“Only the most glorious thing that can happen to villains like us, Minion.” A child like grin spread across Megamind’s face as he felt his body quiver in excitement. “I’ve found our arch foes.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Did you see how I tangled its head up? All I did was a zwish, zam, zoom and I had him tied up like a knot!”
“Ah thought you might have cut it a tad close now and then, but at least it gave me some time to wrangle ‘em up with mah rope.”
“I must say, Twilight, you’ve certainly improved in your flying.”
“Well, after facing that tatzelwurm with Cadance, I figured some extra practice wouldn’t hurt. Rainbow Dash’s training is pretty rough so it’s nice to see some results from it.”
“Fluttershy, you were awesome! We were all like ‘Get out of here you big meanie!’, and you were like ‘He’s so upset that the other hydras ate his food’. Then you were like ‘The next time you get hungry just come on over and I’ll get you some delicious moss!’ You totally had him figured out once we got him away from town.”
“W-Well, it’s only thanks to Twilight that I knew what kind of food they eat. If it wasn’t for her, I would have never been able to make myself read about the… um… scarier magical creatures in Equestria. Hydra’s are still scary, I think, but they aren’t too bad once you get to know them.”
The six of them continued their victorious chatter as they walked through town, only stopping to speak to the ponies that came up to give their thanks and congratulations at saving the town once again. Each smiling and grateful face was replied their full attention, and they assured that the hydra was indeed gone and that they were sorry they hadn't arrive sooner. They were by all accounts heroes, and were completely unaware of Megamind cautiously trailing behind.
The Elements of Harmony… To think that I would find such heroes in the same town I’ve picked, Megamind thought with glee.They handled that monster like it was nothing, supplementing each other with their own unique strength and abilities. Surely they must be the finest heroes this land has to offer; the perfect team for me to face against!
Keeping his eyes locked onto them, Megamind kept up with their pace as he passed along the edge of the crowds. They’re all female, two of which don’t appear to have any extra physical traits. The blue and yellow have wings, the white one has a horn, and the purple one has… wings and a horn?
Megamind stretched his neck to see more clearly past the heads of the blocking crowd. Well I’ll be, she does have both. Ducking back down, he hurried ahead to watch them pass from a more unobstructed position, hardly remembering to breath as he watched them approach.
He memorized all he could about them as they walked by, taking note of each characteristic that immediately apparent. Facial expressions, body posture, speech patterns, overall mood, and whatever else he could derive. His mind was already creating detailed maps of what their personalities might be. Shy, confident, articulate, brash, modest, energetic and other descriptions appeared in his mind, and he began to feel the dull ache in his face that came from smiling too much.
I must learn everything I can about them. Just who are these impressive heroes? The Elements of Harmony continued on from where he watched, and he stealthily trailed behind as they continued through the town. The crowd was dispersing as everyone returned to their daily lives, but Megamind did not find it particular difficult to remain as a distant hidden observer. Each word and action from them, no matter how tiny, held his utter attention. Such a wondrous day for you, Elements of Harmony. Your heroic acts today have not only saved your town, but also drawn the attention of the most powerful villain you will have ever faced. There’s no doubt in my mind that our battles will be glorious.
Megamind chuckled to himself as he imagined the numerous scenarios to come. Robots, freeze rays, sleep bombs, toxic smoke that would make one sneeze for three days straight, and much, much more. He would exchange blows with them, hold ponies ransom, reply with witty banter, the whole shebang.
Having been preoccupied with the wild ideas that appeared in his head, he hadn’t noticed where he had arrived, and he snapped back to reality as the Elements of Harmony took an abrupt turn towards a building. Looking to where they headed, Megamind’s eyes popped at the sight of a massive crystalline structure.
They have a diamond castle, he mentally deadpanned. After rubbing his eyes, he looked again, still seeing the shining building. After some moments of pause, another wave of excitement passed through him as he started to tip toe on his hoofs. They have a diamond castle as their base! This is perfect! Surely such a impenetrable and spectacular fortress is only reserved for the best of the best among heroes! He snickered to himself as he tried to contain his joy. Can this day get any better?
“Aren’t you coming in?” one of the Elements said, and Megamind stopped his dance. He quickly turned his body to inspect one of the wares of the shop he had halted in front of, but kept a discreet gaze towards the castle as he strained his ears. The pink one was at the base of the steps while the rest were looking down at her from the front double doors.
“Sorry, can’t do,” the pink one replied as she shook her head.
“Why not, Pinkie?” the blue one asked. Megamind frowned slightly at hearing the name.
“I still need to greet the new pony that came to town today,” the pink one said as if it was a matter of fact. “He’s doesn’t live in Ponyville, but he’s close enough to be a neighbor, I think. So of course I need to welcome him. I almost had him too before that big old hydra came stomping in, ruining Rose’s house and all.” Her happily-go-lucky transformed into a serious and grim-determined expression as she spoke like a safari hunter tracking a wild beast. “He’s a sly one he is, but I got his number. Knocking over that barrel and scaring Ms. Fluffykins was just the first sign. Once I get back to that alley, I’ll pick up the trail again and track him down, then throw him the best “Welcome to Ponyville” party he’s ever had! Or my name isn’t Pinkamena Diane Pie!”
The other girls either rolled their eyes or gave supporting smiles. “Well, we’ll be right here whenever you’re done. We’re still counting on you to bring the desserts for the dinner tonight.”
Pinkie turned back to her carefree self and gave them a wide grin. “I wouldn’t miss it for all the cupcakes in Sugarcube Corner! Because I’m bringing them!” With that, she promptly turned away and happily bounced down the street, and the rest of the group retired into the castle, all while Megamind watched in frozen horror as a bead of sweat trailed down his face.
*Brzt* – How are things going, Sir? – *Brzt*
Megamind brought the transmitter close to his mouth, never taking his eyes off the pink pony until she vanished amongst the crowded street. “We’re going to have to be careful, Minion. I have a feeling this is going to be unlike anything we’ve faced.”
Wiping his forehead, Megamind turned around, and paused at the stoic stare of a frail, elder stallion watching him from a stool; the shop owner of the store Megamind had been standing in front of. A flash of worry that the older pony had seen and heard the transmitter crossed Megamind’s mind, but it was alieved when the old pony smacked his gums and spoke, “New in town, eh?”
“Yes, yes I am,” Megamind nervously replied.
“Trying to hide from Pinkie Pie?”
Megamind nodded, happy to at least to know the name of his would be pursuer that was also one of his arch foes. The old pony gave a simple grunt that before speaking as a judge issuing a death sentence, “I’d give you half an hour, tops.”
Hearing the ominous warning about Pinkie twice now sent a shudder of dread through Megamind. Shaking it off, he hesitantly asked, “Um, excuse me, but may I ask you a few questions?”
The elder gave a deep, toe-curling snort before spitting into a nearby pot. “Shoot.”
Megamind nearly gagged at the action, and tried very hard not to imagine how much spit had built inside the pot or when it was last washed. “Who- Ugh… W-Who are those ponies?”
“What, the Elements of Harmony? You ‘aint ever heard of them?” the elder said in disbelief.
“I’m afraid I don’t get out much,” Megamind replied after a nervous laugh.
The elder eyed Megamind’s stitched covered cloak that wrapped around his entire the body. “I’ll bet.” Spitting again with a sicking sound that made Megamind’s tongue flop out, the elder spoke. “Well, that there is the Elements of Harmony, though they’re just regular ponies that live in town when they aren’t saving it from disaster. Except for Princess Twilight of course, she’s something special given that she’s royalty and all. But even after getting her crown, she’s still the town’s librarian, can you imagine that?”
“How noble of her,” Megamind commented as he recovered from the mental imagery of the pot.
The elder closed his eyes as he smiled, and a wave of happiness seemed to come over him. “She sure is a wonderful princess. Sometimes I like to check out the wrong books so I can go back and get her help to find the right on. Makes my day having such a pretty mare help out an old stallion like me.”
Aside from taking note that his suspicions were confirmed that females were called mares, Megamind gave an incredulous look at the elder whose face now held a shade of red. “How… Good for you?”
The elder chuckled. “But I’d be lying if I don’t enjoy each of their company. They’re all such kind and wonderful mares. Makes feel young again just being around them.”
“And the others?” Megamind asked, wishing the conversation to hurry up.
“Well, there’s Miss Rarity who runs the boutique in town, making sure we look nice in our festival bests. Some ponies go there to keep up with the fashion in Canterlot.” The elder nodded in the direction of the distance castle perched on the mountain side, and Megamind smiled as he admired its majesty, looking forward to someday spreading his devilish plans there as well. “Then again, others go there to peruse the finer items. I’d say it’s the best building in town to wait in while getting your tuxedo refitted.”
Megamind was incredibly thankful the shade of red lasted only for a few moments before the elder continued.
“Applejack is one of the apples, best apple farmers in all of Equestria I say. Her family lives out on Sweet Apple Acres just yonder. It makes my old heart dance when she passes my shop and offers some leftover apple after a day at the market. Those charming freckles and lively accent… Heh, she sure does remind me of her granny. By Celestia she was a looker back in the day.”
Once again, red appeared on the elder ponies faced as he became lost in the memory, and Megamind gently coughed into his hoof.
The elder snapped back and mutter something beneath his breath. “Let’s see, where was I… Ah, Fluttershy. She’s probably the best pony at handling animals I’ve ever seen. She’s a sweet thing mind you. She’s shy and timid, but don’t let that fool you. I once got caught and she gave me that ‘Stare’ of hers.” The elder shuttered at the memory like it had been a brush with death. “Thought the reaper himself would show up and take me right there and then to Tartarus...”
Megamind wasn’t entirely sure by what the elder meant by getting caught, nor was he keen on spending an iota of brain power figuring it out.
The grave mood passed as quickly as it appeared as the elder smiled innocently again. “But if it’s animal care you need, she knows her stuff more than anypony else. She still hasn’t turned her place into a vet yet, but I keep trying to convince her. I think it’d be good for her.”
“I see,” Megamind said. He was already attaching each trait and information to their respective Elements of Harmony in his mind, as well as the odd word choices the elder used such as ‘any pony’. Even though the elder didn’t say what each of the Elements looked like, Megamind felt confident he knew who was who based from his observations.
“And Rainbow Dash is the town’s best weather pegasus.” the elder continued, and his face became grave again as his voice dropped to a whisper. “Don’t ever let her catch you, I’ve seen what happens to the poor souls that do. If I wasn’t for my intense discipline and knowing which battles to fight, I’d have died long ago.”
The death warning made Megamind fearfully wonder what the elder thought discipline was.
The elder shifted back to his casual mood as if nothing at happened. “I’ll tell ya, though. She’s got the potential to make it to the top in weather management. She could probably end up as a regional weather master for the entire southern region. Celestia knows there isn’t a better flyer within miles whose handles so many storms, especially ones like those that come from the Everfree. Still, she seems happy enough dealing with the bigger projects while the rest of the pegasi handle the smaller jobs like watering the town’s gardens and such. Of course she’ll never climb the weather ladder doing that, but it’s her life. Though, last I heard she was making progress in the joining the Wonderbolts. Can’t say I blame her for taking it easy while she works on her dream. Heck, I did the same and look where I’m at now!”
Megamind looked at the various trinkets the elder sold, and raised an eyebrow. “Yes, quite the wares you have here,” he deadpanned. Megamind then glanced nervously over his shoulder. “So… who is this Pinkie Pie I keep hearing so much about?”
“Pinkie Pie? Why, she’s the most cheerful pony I’ve ever seen. You can bet your flank that if you ever need a party she’s the go to pony. She knows every pony’s birthday in town.” The elder gave a happy chuckle as his cheeks became red again. “I’m still holding out for the day she throws me a nice party with all the mares down at the Giggling Flank. If a stallion’s gonna die, it ought to be when he’s happy.”
“Right,” Megamind replied with an uneasy tone as he turned away. “Uh, thank you for the help.”
“Take care now and come back to buy something when you’re ready,” the elder said as he waved him off.
Megamind shook his mind clear as he walked away, focusing on the important details that he learned amongst the unsightly hints and images he was forced to imagine. Moving to an empty spot at the edge of the street and away from the elder’s shop, he pulled the transmitter up to his mouth as he gazed at the crystalline castle. “Code, reconnaissance was a success.”
*Brzt* – Code, are you coming back now? – *Brzt*
Megamind gave the castle one last look, then dramatically turned away, swishing the tail end of his cloak as high as he could. “I’m heading back now, Minion. Ready the brainbots. Preparations begin immediately.”
As Megamind left the town, he couldn’t help but glance back with gleaming eyes, already envisioning the battles, encounters, sparring dialogue, and evil plans that would occur within its peaceful confines. A chill wind picked up and it tasseled his cloak as he stood atop the hill, looking at the entirety of Ponyville with a greedy eye. “Enjoy these final days of ignorant bliss, ponies of Ponyvile. For soon, the full glory of I, Megamind, will come. And you, Elements of Harmony,” he declared while pointing at the castle. “Prepare yourselves for our inevitable battles! They will speak of our epic conflicts all throughout history as the stuff of legends! For this day, you have made an enemy of the Magnanimous Megamind! Master of all villainy!”
He held his hoof high in the air at his proclamation, until a booming voice shattered the ominous atmosphere. “WHERE ARE YOU!?”
The echoing shout from Pinkie Pie swept over him like a wind from an incoming storm, and a bead of sweat trailed down his face. “Welp, that’s enough declaration,” he stated before promptly turning around and entering the Everfree forest, trotting just a tad swifter than usual.
Author's Note
And here's the first chapter of Megamind and Minion's adventures in the world of Equestria. To layout some expectations, after the first few chapters lay down the ground work, this story will be episodic in nature as each chapter is intended to have it's own story, kinda like an epsisode of a show. How long it will run and what kind of plots it will have are up the air, as for now I will be just rolling with it and letting ideas come to mind, building upon the characters as they interact with each other. For me, Megamind is exactly what I love about a classic, over the top Supervillain with flair and style, so expect that kind of behavior with him and the evil plans he has for Ponyville and the Mane 6. Though, I will warn you now, the mid season hiatus in this will be very real. Due to the potential length of the chapters, and that this story is a second priority—right now it will be a comedic break I can come back to—as my main focus will be on my other in-progress story, so do not expect regularly released chapters here. This story is a way for me to relax from my slightly more serious main story (it's about vamponies so it isn't that serious) and it came to me as a whim, so it will receive attention and updates as the writing mood shifts. I've already dug myself a hole with another story that initirally was supposed to be a simple one shot that I forcibly turned into something more *cough cough*, so I want to make it clear that I am not holding any guarantee with this story. I plan for it too be considerable long due to the sheer amount of antics that could occur in this setting, but I am not making any serious promises or devotion of my time towards it. But if you did enjoyed this chapter, I apologize for this disappointing news, and I hope that you enjoy the future chapters when they do come. With that said, I'll just leave you with this.
