The Equestrian Wasteland

According to Safe-Tec protocols, all first contact scenarios with those of the Post-Apocalyptic wasteland are to be handled by the Overmare. If the Overmare is indisposed then your Stable’s Safe-Tec representative will handle the responsibilities.

One week later
Loud noises, red, flashing lights, and gunshots, were what I woke up to. Then, all of a sudden, the radio on my Pip-Buck and the PA system of the Stable were turned on and out came the Overmare’s voice, “Attention all non-security personnel, please evacuate to your rooms! This is not a drill! The Stable door has been breached and invaders have entered the Stable!”

“What in Tartarus?” I said to myself before I heard gunshots on the PA system and suddenly the screams of a mare filled the air. I quickly made sure the lock on my door was activated and I hid under the covers. It felt like an eternity but slowly and slowly the gunshots began to wind down. I poked my head out from under the covers just in time for the gunshots to be heard again.

“Please! Please! Please! Don’t hurt me!” I heard a stallion’s voice say before that same voice screamed in agony. I quickly darted my head back under the covers, my face covered in tears. I was praying to Celestia and Luna that they wouldn’t check my room now that they were in the living quarters.

Over the next quarter of an hour, all I heard was the sound of the alarm and the sounds of doors opening and closing, along with an occasional plea for mercy or a scream of pain. What wouldn’t I give to have a 10mm pistol or even a BB gun? I thought as I heard the mixed door and scream sounds get closer and closer.

“Last one, boys! 10 caps on it being another one of those changers, do I have any takers?” I heard an authoritative mare's voice say.

“Hell yeah!” I heard some sort of stallion say, with a very raspy voice like if his voice box was crushed or something.

I tried to say very still as they fumbled with the lock, but I couldn’t even steady my breathing. When the door finally did open, oh why do we use those types of locks, I heard them moving about the room and there was a lot of hushing. After a minute, I began to hear some hooves leaving the room and I was hoping that my terribly thought out hiding plan had worked.

“Guess who?” I heard a voice say above me before the blanket was thrown off of me.

I screamed in terror before my legs were caught in a magical field. I heard the sound of cocking guns and some laughter.

“Look at this! I knew it! Hey, Gobby you owe some caps after this job!” The Unicorn mare, whom I named Blue Mane, holding me in her magic said.

“Aw damn! Why are there so many Celestia damned Changers in this Stable?” I heard that same rapsy voice, who I assumed was Gobby, say. I turned my head towards that voice where I got the fright of my life.

Looking at me was a corpse, re-animated and walking. He/She/It stared at me, like those zomponies I’ve seen in some of the film rolls in the theater room. There were holes everywhere, even more than I have, and they went through the zompony’s body, I couldn’t see a horn or wings on it. So, what did I do? I screamed, quite possibly, the loudest scream of my life. Right after I also yelled “Zompony! They’re real!” followed by me trying to escape the magical field. I was hoping to put some distance between myself and this zompony but instead I got smacked in the head by something hard and metallic.

“Shut your mouth, Changer! Your kind ain’t got no need for any lip, and trust me, I will cut it out myself!” Gobby yelled at me.
My head throbbed from the hit by what seemed to be a pistol that he seemed to be aiming at me. “Y-yes sir,” I sheepishly said with tears in my eyes.

“Sir? I like that. What do ya think about it Starry? Fits me quite fine. Sir Gobby Gobber of New Appleloosa, makes me sound noble, like those Unicorns in New Canterlot.” Gobby laughed in that guttural voice of his.

“Too bad you lost your horn then, we could’ve used a noble connection,” Blue Mane, or rather Starry, laughed in reply.

"What horn? I never had a horn," Gobby asked.

“You mares done trading secrets about hooficures in there? We need to get these items to New Appleloosa,” A stallion, who I named Hoofy, said.

“Who you callin’ a mare, Disky! Don’t get your sheath twisted up in a knot, we’re coming,” Gobber replied to Hoofy, who I from then on knew as Disky. I probably shouldn’t give these ponies these temporary names if they’re just gonna say their real names right after.

An hour later
“Shut up back there, we’ve got a long journey still to New Appleloosa, and I’d rather we not have to deal with Horseshoe’s scouts, some of ya might get shot,” Disky said to us.

Strangely enough the entirety of the changeling population, or what seems to be the entirety, had been captured by these ponies. I saw a few normal ponies among the captured but there were some notable missing ponies, such as the Overmare. I took a look at the group of five ponies that had come into our Stable and had screwed everything up. Disky was a Blue Pegasus stallion with a red mane and tail, both cut short; Starry was a complete color swap of Disky with a medium length mane and tail; Gobby was a grey colored corpse of a pony with no mane nor tail; and the other two ponies whose names were, apparently, Lock and Load were twins both being black with yellow for their manes and tails, the only difference between the two being that Lock’s mane was longer and Load was a mare. I couldn’t see any cutie marks on the ponies, and not due to a lack of trying, but their barding kept their flanks covered and little else.

“Somepony likin’ what they’re seein’?” Starry asked. It took a moment for me to figure out that she was talking to me. Why did I have to be at the front of this pony chain! I was only looking at her armor dammit!

I only responded with a wide-eyed look, hoping that she wouldn’t say anything else. I then tried to look at the scenery around me.

“Eyes over here, Buggy,” I heard and so I turned my head and OH MY CELESTIA!

In front of me was Starry with her tail up exposing her… well… her marehood. That barding did not cover up that part of her body and I didn’t even notice! I, in my greatest wisdom, did what any sane pony would do in this situation, stop walking, which meant that the entire pony train stopped, which brought Gobby with his whip, which he then cracked over our heads.

“Keep walkin’ you S.O.B.s!” He yelled. He then turned his head to Starry, “Don’t randy up the items, Starry. Horny items are harder to control, remember?” I saw Starry roll her eyes as Gobby turned around. Unfortunately for me, not only was I starting to feel a bit of heat running through my body but Starry kept her tail up, giving me perfect looks at her marehood. Damn this mare..