I flew down to the ground shortly after 25 minutes of practice. I felt stronger than ever before. As I trotted off, I stepped on a book. It said "The Cough." I picked it up, and opened it.
I read many lines, and my eyes began to flood. Finally: I read the last few sentences:
The weather mare's hooves dropped back to the floor. She stood shaking, her eyes wide and her heart beating nearly out of her chest. Her fetlocks were drenched with sticky blood; she could feel it beginning to clot. She wondered despite herself whether the mess would stain, whether her coat would always bear the red residue of her deed. She wept quietly to herself.
Silence reigned.
In the darkness, somepony coughed.
I began to sob. I would NEVER do something like that! But...are coughs suddenly...viruses? "I need to go lie down," I said. "Hopefully I will feel better later."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I woke up, I noticed the book was gone.
"Where did it go?! It just disappeared! Oh, geez, is somepony else going to read it?"
I started crying into my pillow. "Oh, Celestia, this is too overwhelming! Why can't I just FORGET it? Oh, no, what if FLUTTERSHY finds it?! Oh, this is a DISASTER!"
It was 2:00 in the morning...I was so distressed.
I put my pillow over my head and cried myself to sleep.
I was bucking apples, as usual, when suddenly, some book popped up in front of me. It said "The Cough." When I read the last line, I began to twitch. "Boy, oh boy," I said as my face turned redder than a tomato. "Whoever wrote this is getting bucked in the face five hundred times," I said. "Maybe even more than that."
I went to lie down, and when I woke up, I felt somepony massaging my hooves. I could tell it was Apple Bloom. This happens whenever I get angry. "Thanks, lil' sis," I said as I let out a moan of pleasure. "I needed this, but I'm still upset. Who could write such a thing?"
"Don't know, AJ," Apple Bloom said sadly. "There's some terrible foals and mares and stallions out there." As she gently rubbed the bottom of my right hoof, I murmured in agreement. "Relax, now, sis," she whispered passionately. "Everything'll be okay. It's only a dumb fanfic, whatever that is."
She moved her front hooves upward on my hind leg as I drifted off to sleep.
I HATE STEPPING ON THINGS! Usually the only thing I hate is boredom. Well, anyway, I stepped on a book, it said "The Cough." Because of my dumb curiosity, I picked it up. But I regretted it. When I read that last line...my life was officially ruined.
"No, no, no, no, NO!" I yelped. "Please tell me this is just a bad dream." I smacked myself. "OW! Nope. It's real." I went to my house. I WAS SO F**KING ANGRY! I grabbed my favorite pink ballon and stomped on it. When I saw the popped balloon on the floor, I dropped to my hooves.
I was thinking Flutters could've written it because she was just...weird. Or Rainbow because she hated her? NO NO NO WHAT AM I THINKING?! Honestly, NOBODY loves Fluttershy more than Rainbow. Ugh, my mind is discombobulated. It's always been.
Who wrote this?! SERIOUSLY! Ugh, I still think it's Flutters. Because of that, I said the STUPIDEST phrase that anypony could have come out of their f**king mouth!
"*sigh* I can't control myself anymore...and it's because of Fluttershy."
Rarity and Twilight Sparkle
This is the story of how I got pissed off by a book.
I found this book that randomly teleported into my boutique, and the title was "The Cough." I picked it up, read half of it, and fainted. When I woke up, I was ENRAGED.
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"WHAT KIND OF F**KING BITCH WOULD WRITE THIS SHIT?!" I yelled as loud as I could.
I need a f**king fix or something. These shitty authors stress me out more than f**k!
"SPIKE!"
This is the one book I HATE. Why would I tell Rainbow to kick Fluttershy to death? I showed Spike the book and he went into a TOTAL coma. Ugh, dragons. Well, I'm gonna go hit myself over the head with a frying pan so I can forget this shit!
The moment y'all been waiting for...Fluttershy.
Ahhh, I love animals. Angel and I just had a picnic. Best one ever! Bunnies are interesting as HELL once you can talk to them. As I was walking back to the cottage I found this book, "The Cough," on the bridge. I was reading it, and silently sobbing, when I heard hoofsteps behind me.
I heard Dash's voice. "Where is she?! If she reads it, I'm dead! AHHHHHH!"
They all found me on the bridge, they could hear my sobbing now. Rainbow Dash dropped to the ground.
"No, no, no, no, no! Oh, Celestia, why?!"
When I thought she had written it because of some feeling of hatred, I made the BIGGEST mistake of my life. I stomped over and smacked Rainbow Dash in the snout, drawing blood. "How could you write such a thing?!" I yelled. "I thought you were my friend!"
Twilight and the others tried to stop me. "No, Fluttershy, stop!" Twilight yelled. "She had NOTHING to do with this!"
"You are such a wh*re! Why do you have to ruin my life?!"
Applejack tried this time. "Sugarcube, she did nothin'! Some other heartless jerk was responsible for this!"
Rainbow Dash gazed at me. I hit her in the snout again. AJ is the Element of Honesty, and I didn't believe her. "You have NO idea how many criticisms I'm going to spit out, you heartless son of a bitch!"
I hit her in the eye this time. Pinkie tried. "Fluttershy, this isn't you! Just stop! There's nothing she could've done!"
This only made me angrier. "LIKELY STORY! Rainbow Dash, you have a heart of ice that doesn't melt! I'm supposed to be your best friend, but apparently I was mistaken!"
Rarity tried me. "Darling, please! None of this was her fault!"
I was screaming this time. "OH, REALLY?! WELL, MAYBE THE CRYING AT THE END OF THE STORY IS FAKE! MAYBE THIS REALLY IS HER FAULT AND SHE JUST WROTE IT TO VISUALIZE THE PLEASURE OF MURDERING ME! RAINBOW DASH, I...I...I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Worst moment ever. Especially when Rainbow finally reacted.
"Well...even though I never wrote the thing, I hate YOU! You're a cold, heartless monster and I NEVER wanna see you AGAIN!"
The poor thing ran away bawling her eyes out, which made me feel ten times more horrible than I already did. "Oh, dear Celestia, what have I done?!" I was bawling myself.
Applejack stroked my mane. "Sugarcube..."
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I yelled. "I don't want to hurt you after I hurt the best friend I could ever have...I've gotta find her."
Before the girls could even respond, I zipped towards the Everfree Forest. She was there, a yard from Zecora's.
"Dash..."
"Go away!"
Her eyes were as red as a tomato, and the grass was stained with tears. "Rainbow Dash, I'm so sorry. My mind was messing with me. I thought you wrote it because you felt...hatred."
"What? No. I have NO IDEA who wrote it!"
"I know, but I never thought of that because I am SO stupid..."
"What? No!"
"Yeah, I am. I thought you wrote the dumb thing. I'm always stupid."
Rainbow Dash gave me a tight embrace and replied, "No you're not. And you never will be. Oh, here come the others." Our friends walked over. Next thing ya know, group hug.
"I'm so sorry, Rainbow."
"It's alright, Flutters. Ponies get mixed up."
We had a good laugh and went home. Life was finally back to normal.
Finally.
