Today marks the forty-seventh day of spring. Mares are calling off work and walking out in the streets looking for stallions out and about to rut them so hard, their own members would look like fire station poles. But it seems not that many are willing, as even they are calling off work to hide away in their homes until the springtime ends and all of their marefriends return to normal. James, on the other hand, or should I say hoof, is up in Celestia's room, looking through the telescope and seeing what chaos is happening in Canterlot.
James spots a poor stallion in an alleyway. He has two mares slowly walking towards him, having a face that could scare any stallion. The poor victim was a tall, skinny earth pony with a straight blue and purple mane and an almond coat. His tail was all dirty, probably running away from the mares, but it seemed to have a slight curve to it at the very end of it. The sweat coming off of him was thick as it reflected off the sun, but the mare's sweat was even stronger. Both of the unicorn mares must have been sisters, or close to it. Both had the same mane style of their mane and tail. The only difference was their coat. One of the two mares had a blizzard blue coat and a curly blush pink mane color, while the other was the opposite. A blush pink coat and a blizzard blue mane.
The stallion was backing up slowly, mouthing something off the mares, but they didn't seem to listen. They only have a wicked grin on their face, all the while keeping their eyes on the prize, slowly walking up to their prey and keeping their flanks higher than their own head. One of the unicorns use her magic and pinned the stallion to the ground, making him go spread-eagle to the two horny mares. The face he was making was the true face of horror as the two mares jumped him. A faint scream could be heard by James, so he quickly turned the telescope out to another part of the city. One with a little less rape.
He stopped when he caught sight of an earthpony mare walking across one of the many bridges in Canterlot, looking for something. James could only take a wild guess as to what she is looking for. But a moment later she catches sight of the human, admiring her. (Well so she thought). The mare was a little messy, her mane was all tangled and her tail was cluttered up. She had a deep cinnabar color on her coat and her mane style was a little like Spitfire from the Wonderbolts, only was a chocolate brown color. Her cutiemark couldn't be seen due to the sun's light reflecting off of her sweat.
Her citrine colored eyes locked onto James, then dropped down into a very seductive look and making sure he saw her hungry grin. The mare sat down, harder than anypony really should, and just kept staring at him. But James couldn't help but do the same, as he started getting a blush on his face when the mare took both of her hooves and started to make an up and down action, clearly being her giving him a hoof-job. The whole idea of a hoof-job just sounded painful, but given that ponies have fluff on their hoof made it sound a little more pleasing. His eyes never left the mare, now using her tongue to poke the side of her mouth, creating a sizable bulge.
The horny mare continued her actions, licking the ring of her hoof and sitting on the edge of the bridge and slowly making her way down to her own flooded neathers. Slowly, she spread her legs out to James, making sure he knew how much she wanted, no, needed it. The blush was now all over James's face, who still couldn't take his eyes of the mare.
Now in a full spread eagle, her hoof slowly made her way down to her spot, rubbing her thighs as if it was James touching her. He didn't want to watch, but the show being presented to him was just too good. But his little trance was broken by a sound of Celestia's door unlocking, making James turn his head and away from the show. The big oak doors open so fast he was surprised that they didn't fly off the hinges. Right outside those doors were the sun goddess herself, Princess Celestia. Her mane was a little messed up, and a little slower on its whole 'living-mane' thing. Her eyes looked closed but only a little slit keeping them open. She walked into her room and slammed her door, making sure it was locked yet again.
Usually, if a mare did this around a stallion during the springtime, they would jump out the nearest window to escape the week-long rash that would form on their member. But James didn't have to really worry about Celestia, as she gained most of her control during this time of the year. But she is still a mare, and all mares have needs.
"Hello James," she says in a very drained tone. He could tell this was not a good day for her.
"Whats wrong Celly?" She looks up at him slowly to see his shit-eating grin, knowing good and well that he knows why she is so fatigued.
"I have been around a countless number of stallions, and 'ONLY' stallions, while in the process of keeping this fucking country in control. It doesn't make it any better that I was able to be whiffed from trottingham and back!" There she goes, using language from James's world. But now her eyes were starting to get some life back.
"Well, my day has been productive as well, seeing stallions getting raped in the streets and even getting a show from a nice mare." Celestia just looks at him, with a grin on the right side of her face, tilting her head and giving the expression 'really?'.
"Well if you are done using my scope as a way to get a free show, I am needing to relieve some stress without your presence." It didn't take a dirty mind to know what she meant, so James just gives her a little chuckle and makes his way out of the room. "I shall be done in no less than twenty minutes. I really got to make sure this itch is gone for the day."
"I know the drill, you don't have to remind me."
James unhinges the lock and slowly opens the big oak doors, he turns back to already see Celestia bring out her lube and toys, wasting no time on helping herself. She turns to him seeing that he hasn't left yet.
"Are you going or not?" Celestia sounded a little irritated.
"Yeah yeah I'm going."
James closes the doors and locks it from the outside, just to make sure nopony walks in on her unwanted. The subtle slap of hit bare feet hitting the marble floor in the massive hallway sends a cold chill up his spine. How the floor stays so cold with the sun beating down on it all day remains a mystery to him. The sun's rays always seem to aim right into his retinas, as if Celestia is just toying with him in the midst of doing her 'session'.
A small walk down the hallway on the path to the guard's breakroom passes right into the Lunar quarters. The tiles get darker to fit the nightly mood and the dark curtains attempt to abolish all light, but some always seem to slip through. Whether that is purposeful or laziness by the tailors is beyond him, as he is just glad that he can still find his feet in front of the other. Several more steps lead him to the front door of Luna's room. The door is slightly ajar, and even has a slight tinge of light seeping from the inside. At this hour Luna should be resting for her lifetime job in the dark. So it confused James as to why her door was open if she needed the sleep.
James made sure that his footsteps were quiet as he neared the door, making sure he wouldn't wake up the lunar princess with the sounds of bare skin slapping on the ground. Each step seemed to get colder as the door inched closer to him as if the frosty chill of the moon itself was inside the room. In a physiological way it was, but physically no. The dark cold steel of the door handle was in his reach. The slight reflection of light coming off of it was now covered by his hand as he reached for it. It seemed like forever to him, which was odd. Something as simple as closing a door to help someone get some rest did not seem like a bad thing, as more as it was an act of kindness. So him being nervous about this made no sense. His hand lands on the metals and grips it slowly, just to make sure not even a decibel of sound is created. He pulls the door slowly towards him, the large doors do take some work to move, but they are beginning to move.
There are only a few inches left on the door. The light coming from the inside slowly fades away, and so does Luna's slight snore. The tricky part about the whole scenario is getting the lock on the door without it making that loud *click* noise. With the door at the barrier of closing, he slowly holds down the small thumb lever above the handle and closes the door all the way, then releasing the lever slowly to make sure it closed. But it didn't seem that the door was at its closing point, as the strike and strikeplate weren't lined up the way he wanted to and created the loud click noise he did not want to happen. Of all the bad things in the scenario to happen, the worst one just had to happen.
Oh well, the door was closed, that's all that he was after. Plus with the deep sleep that Luna seemed to be in, surely she wouldn't wake up to just her door closing. It would have to take a gunshot, or a changeling invasion to wake her up. Well, maybe not that second one.
He slowly walks away, continuing on what he had planned in the first place. Just hanging out in the breakroom and hoping someone that he knew would be there on their break. But that would have to wait, as a roaring voice came from behind him.
"WHOSE'S THO CLOSED THINE CHAMBERS!?!"
The voiced echoed loudly in the empty hallways. All guards around the nearby corners panicked as their pupils were the size of a ball-point pen. Soon they all just bolted from the area, as if there was a bomb planted in the area, and that bomb was Luna.
Her door swung open with such force James could feel the air a good thirty feet away from him. A messy mane Luna peered out of the doorframe, looking around the door to see if the culprit is still around. Her eyes were glowing dark blue and have shadows waving out of them. Her mane wasn't in her normal ethereal state, just in a normal cornflower blue state.
She looked to the left first only to find nopony that was fleeing from her, but quickly turned to the right to see a panicked human just standing there half turned and looking right at her. She marched over to him, almost leaving cracks in the marble for how hard she was stomping. James could just feel the anger radiating off of the enraged lunar princess putting, even more, panic in his body. He wanted to run and avoid death, but at this point, there was no escape. There was no will written in his room, everypony in the castle would wonder where the only human went and none of them would know. His death would be an unsolved mystery that Luna would turn down the search for.
She was right up in his face, glaring into his eyes to fully show her anger towards him.
"Did thou close thine chambers?" She said in an angered/calm tone, kind of like a mother asking why her kid just painted all of the walls a variety of colors and didn't want to show her full anger at them.
"Y-yes.."
"Did I say you could close my door?" Her tone getting a little more agitated.
"N-no" Its so hard for the words to come out without going into a full apologetic mode, going onto his knees and begging for his life.
"Then WHY DID YOU CLOSE THINE DOORS!" Her eyes brightened up and mane shooting into her ethereal state. This took the breath away from James and pushed him back onto the floor making him fall on his butt. He looked back up at Luna to see her breathing has gone up. Her muzzle was scrunched up and her nostrils were flaring out with every exhale. At this point James knew he wasn't going to win with just subtle 'Im sorry's, he had to get a serious tone in his voice.
"Listen, princess, I was just doing an act of kindness. I had no idea you wanted your door open. How was I supposed to know!" James gets up from his sitting position and stands slightly above luna, but not too close to her face. "All I was thinking of was that you left your door open accidentally and I closed it so that anyone in the hall wouldn't wake you up and disturb your time to sleep. So I'm 'SO' sorry that I tried to do something kind for you. If you want I'll never do something like that again."
Having added the sarcasm into his little rebound may not have helped his argument with a goddess that could end his life in an instant and he only knew that after he said it. But instead of a giant death beam flying towards him, all he got was silence. Luna just stared at him, her face was twitching rapidly like she wanted to say something back but couldn't. Why would she, though? James just took the kindness of his heart to simply close a door and think about her well being, how would of he had known about her liking her door slightly open?
Several more seconds of a massive stare-off ended with Luna scoffing at him and turning around back to her chambers. She was walking quite fast back, probably to go scream in a pillow to let off her anger. As soon as she entered her room, the door slammed shut, surprisingly enough not cracking the walls connected to it. James took this as a sign to walk away now before anything else life-threatening happens, but he still just stood there, looking into the blank hallway.
What the fuck just happened?!
He had just stood up to a fucking princess. The princess that made EVERY guard in the area flee like little school girls. Should he feel proud, or terrified that she is going to kill him in his own dreams. Freddy Krueger can do it so why can't she?
After several more seconds of standing there, James snaps back into reality, remembering what he was still going to do. Right now he needed that lunch break more than anyone. Plus the breakroom is only two more corners away, so it wouldn't be that far of a walk with his numb legs.
A few minutes later of stumbling and hugging the wall, he finally makes it to the break room. There aren't as many guards as the usually would be, but luckily there is one that James knew good and well.
"James! What brings you here!"
"Hey Shimmering, I just got back from a living nightmare"
Shimmering Shield, a kind young stallion guard. He has only been a royal guard for about two years now and James has been with him ever since he graduated boot camp. His coat has a copper color to it while his mane is pointed in different ends with thick crimson and cream stripes going at an angle across. With him being new, he never wore any of the big, thick gold armor that higher ranks do. He just wore a small iron chest piece that covered his chest and half of his back, while his upper waist and flank were exposed to the world, showing his cutiemark. It was a tilted purple shield with a gold inlay around the edge and had a red diamond in the middle of it. The rest of his armor which included small iron boots, dagger holder and his helmet.
"I could tell with you stumbling into the room. You look more tired than me during Tartarus-week at boot camp, what happened to you."
"Its a long story that I really don't want to try and recall right now."
Shimmerings face took a 'bullshit' look to it, but before he could say anything, whispers filled the room. A glance around the room showed the rest of the guards in different groups and keep turning back to see James, which is covering his face with his hands trying to forget that whole situation.
"James, what did you do. I haven't seen anypony do this to you after the first year of you being here. So whatever you did has gone viral around the castle." He took on a more serious tone, really trying to pry what happened out of James.
"It involves me getting in a situation with Luna."
"What did you do? Close her door or something?" He gives a little chuckle to himself, thinking that some so bazaar would happen.
"Yup..." James said very blunt but didn't think until now that Shimmering actually got it right. He passed it off as a lucky guess.
After a few seconds of silence from Shimmering, James looks up at him to see him trying not to laugh. But it didn't hold long as Shimmering couldn't hold it in any longer.
"Whats so funny about it!" James said slightly irritated.
"That's a good joke man."
"I'm being serious."
Shimmering mostly stopped his laughing fest to actually say some recognizable words, "If you would have closed her door you wouldn't even be here right now."
"Well if you don't believe me, go ask that guard over there. Last I saw him he was running away like a little baby when I heard the yelling." James points over to one of the guards surrounded by four others. The noted guard seemed to be a higher rank than Shimmering as he wore more cumbersome and detailed armor, even having some gold outlines. But even with his higher ranking, he was more in a panic than James and he wasn't even at fault. Was it for leaving his post or that I was able to survive something that no-pony thought they could.
Shimmering walks over to the guard, asking him if what James said was true. The guard just gave a little nod and created a little whimper. Shimmering refused to believe any of the guards telling him that it was true. A slow turn around from him back to James showed that it wa all true. Shimmering walked back slowly to the table but kept his large eyes locked onto James's.
"How in Equestria are you still alive..."
"What the big idea with closing Luna's door! Everypony in this room is treating it like it is a big deal!"
"IT IS A BIG DEAL!" Shimmering said while bolting up into the air. It caught James off guard as he jumped back in his chair. "Luna had never told us 'why' she wants it open during her time sleeping. But one thing is for sure, anypony that has closed her door was fired if they worked in the castle, and sent into the dungeon for a minimum of three moon cycles. But that's only the smallest punishment!"
Three months huh? Just for being nice and closing a door so a princess can have a nice time sleeping? That just seems unreal.
After learning that he may have just escaped death, he gets what power is left in his legs and goes to the cafe connected to the breakroom. Every day is something different in there, hay burgers, hay fries, hay salads, hay. But even with all of the hay James has gotten used to eating it. The nutritious in it don't match up to what he needs, but the hay in Equestria has the strangest taste of potato shavings. So he does the only sensible thing and gets a nice nutritional salad, minus the hay. First the actual salad, then tomatoes. cucumbers, onions, and dressing. A perfect meal for a death-defying human. A quick transaction of bits to the cashier and the walk back to his table. Nothing changes in the few minutes of getting his food, the guards were still whispering and looking and James on how he avoided Luna's wrath.
Soon his table was in front of him, and Shimmering still contemplating with his face tilted down on how the whole thing happened. After a snap of the finger from James, Shimmering comes back into reality. His head shoots back up into a horizontal position then looks at James above him, which is just standing there enjoying his salad. After sitting back down, James tries to start talking about other subjects.
"So how has your day been?" The most generic way of starting a conversation. It could either go well or just stop after one sentence.
"It's been well I guess. I woke up this morning to my marefriend grinding on me begging for a foal." James just laughs from that remark, receiving a sharp look from Shimmering that could pierce only his armor. "Dude it's not funny! I'm not ready for a foal yet. I can barely even control my own marefriend."
"No one can right now, I hear stories all the time of guards having problems with their significant other, especially this time of year. I never had to deal with this back in my world."
"Well, you are lucky."
The conversation continued out like every guy conversation. Talking about manly stuff like sports, weapons, and how crazy their girlfriends are. But after about thirty minutes of talking, Shimmering had to return to his post outside of the walls. Goodbyes are shared, trash is thrown away, and the walk back to Celestia's chambers begins again. During the time walking back, James was thinking to himself. This wasn't the first time him going from Celestia's room to the break room, and he always walks the same path. So how hasn't he noticed that Luna's door has always been open? Was he just not paying any attention to it or just blind to see that it was open.
James decided to take the longer route to Celestia's room and avoid Luna's. He already got in enough trouble as it is, he didn't need more. The slapping of his feet continued to silently echo down the hallway, but the coldness of the floor didn't bother him anymore for the time being. The solar guards stand at attention as James walks by them just like they are supposed to, but there are a few that just slight break their form and give him a little smile or even a hoof-to-hand shake. Without there being any mare guards in the halls it feels a little empty. No one to hug, or get hugs from. If James were to do that with a stallion it would just seem a little awkward for the two.
There are only a few more corners back to Celestia's room, the trip was longer than usual but at least James avoided certain death. After some more smiles from the guards, the doors to the room are now in sight, and that means James will be safer than before. He still couldn't get the feeling that he is still in trouble. Like something bad is going to happen to him later. It is a possibility, but Luna may just have to sleep it off.
James steps in front of the doors and gives them a knocking pattern on them, just to tell Celestia that it is him.
"Come on in James!" The large doors open with a yellow aura around them. James walks in to see Celestia putting away her toys into her dresser. "I had just gotten done with my necessity, and I should be okay for the next few hours."
James really didn't want to, but he always kept watch of the toys that Celestia had. One was a normal, long pony phallus that for some reason she liked to call 'Chance'. Another was a dragon/pony type dildo as it had the tip of a pony but the base was all scaly to add some texture to the experience. The other two just seem to be ordinary buttplugs, one bigger than the other. A princess can't really have a large collection of these kinds of things just in case a maid walks in a see's them.
As she closes her drawers and turns back to James, she notices his expression and tone in his skin in not as he left it. His skin turned into a much paler color and has a terrified expression.
"What happened to you? You looked like you've seen a creation of discord's?" The concern from Celestia's voice was nothing out of the ordinary. Every problem that James has had was always discovered by her, no matter how hard he tried to hid it.
"I just closed Luna's door! Why is that so bad!" The thoughts from James's head finally came out and went into the ears of somepony that most likely knew the answer. All Celestia did was give a little chuckle, not knowing when this situation would pop up again.
"This isn't the first time somepony had done this, but usually, I would be getting them out of the dungeon. With you walking in here and saying you closed it and lived to tell the tale is surprising. But the answer to your question is actually really silly and ironic." Those last few words confused him. James left eyebrow went up out of confusion, what sort of answer for this is both 'silly and ironic'?
"Luna is actually afraid of the dark."
Silence filled the room for several seconds, James is just in shock at the answer. He has now heard it all.
"We are talking about Luna right?" saying to clarify.
"The one you came across in the hallway."
"The princess of the night. The one that her job revolves around the dark and the one that controls the night?"
"You are correct." Celestia is just having fun with this. Her face has a grin to it and is gently bouncing in her chair. James just sits there motionless, this has to be a prank because there is no way that Luna of all ponies is afraid of the dark. "Did you notice the lights from her room? She uses those to help her sleep, like a nightlight. The whole story about it is actually really funny."
James looks up at her with a mixed expression of shock and confusion.
"When I and Luna were young, we weren't able to do our jobs to its full extent, so our mother had to help us until we were grown enough to do it ourselves. During that time I had learned to raise the moon and the sun slowly and Luna had learned to travel into ponies dreams. Her first time going in something must have happened because she came out of her magical trance screaming in terror. She never told us who's dreams she went into, or if she went into any at all. But ever since then she has been terrified of the dark, so that is why our mother made the moon reflect light of my sun so she could see in the night." The puzzle was coming together in James's head, something went on in that first experience in the dream realm that made her fear the dark, and it stuck with her because she became scared of it as a child.
"Her very own large nightlight, that was very smart of your mother." Celestia nods in agreement. The conversation continues but changes the subject after a few minutes. Now it's just spending the next few with Celestia.
-Six hours later-
Goodnights were exchanged between James and Celestia as the sun princess headed off to bed. Another long day was ahead of her, but as for James he had nothing to do like every other day. He has been in Equestria for two years now and yet he still doesn't have any sort of job. The closest to a job he has is taking papers to certain locations for Celestia because she is either too lazy or has too much work on her hooves. But he is glad that the days that he wants to be lazy he is able to without anypony coming up to him saying he has to go to work. So it has its advantages and disadvantages. What he really wanted to do now was head over to the castle garden and sit down on the bench for a while.
The sight of the gardens was something else. Flowers of all different species and grass that never dulled. Bushed surrounded the sides of the cobblestone paths, and each bush seemed to have different berries growing on them. A handful of berries are obtained, now just need to find a bench.
Only a few more feet away and a nice clean bench underneath a nicely trimmed tree was in arm's length. As he proceeded to sit down, a rustle was heard in the tree above him. Leaves were falling down onto his head, so he moved to see if somepony was up there. Sure enough, a pony came crashing down, landing flank-first onto the hard stone. Panic soon went back into James's body as he saw who it was.
"L-Luna!?"
Author's Note
I had rewritten this whole fic, I felt as if the whole thing was rushed and I really didn't have a plan as to where I was going with it. But now I have an idea.
I really hope I did a decent job with this one as I am still new to writing. I don't plan on making this my profession, as more of just a way to pass the time and share ideas of the many worlds world created in this catastrophe that is my head.
But if there is something wrong, please tell me in the comments, all criticism is welcomed.
(Also about the deleted comments, I had no idea what I was doing at the time, but know that they were helpful and I wish I hadn't of deleted them)
