The Adventures of Adventure Clyde: The Adventuring

Ponyville awoke to a scream.

A VERY loud scream.

Twilight Sparkle, alicorn extraordinaire, screamed a loud scream.

Deep in the reaches of the Crystal Empire, ponies awoke to an ice scream.

It tasted of strawberries.

~~~~~~~

Deep within the clutches of Closet-topia, A lone stallion hero wandered the wastes. His blue outline and white body shone in the beating sun, his butt-tattoo of 'A HAT' shimmering in the light.

This was no ordinary wasteland, however...

Our hero (And Twilight's) fought the evils around him, as the villain made itself known. Soon, he was surrounded!

Surrounded by the evil fabric!

OH NO this sounds familiar...

The fabric began to speak:

"I will be the ONLY one worthy of Twilight Spackle's luxurious body!" The fabric pulled tighter around Clyde's neck, Oh he's in a pickle for sure now!

"Or maybe, I AM the pickle!" Clyde triumphantly posed, his limbs and body suddenly made of ten succulent dill pickles.

The fabric reacted, trying to pick a peck of pickled pony, but the perplexingly pickled pony wouldn't be picked!

With a battle cry, Clyde broke the spell of the fabric, tumbling out of Closet-topia, and landing in front of his girlfriend, Twilight Sparkle. His mismatched eyes and dashingly large mouth smiled up at the mass of purple.

"Twilight, I have saved you, and now you can LOVE me." Adventure Clyde peered down at Twilight through his Cool Cat glasses.

Twilight screamed a loud scream. Until she realized who it was in front of her.

"Oh, not YOU again!" Twilight turned around and looked away in total badassery. "We can never be together, Adventure Clyde! The fates are against us, but mostly you." Twilight frowned.

"And SO AM i." A wicked and smooth voice came from behind Clyde.

Clyde turned and saw the evilest evil since the dawn of evil:

INACTION DAVE!

DUN!

     DUN!

  DUN!

Inaction Dave sat still, unmoving in his inaction. "I have come to put an end to your adventuring, Adventure Clyde!" He laughed. "And also to steal your girlfriend, Swilight Tarkle."

"That's not how my name is-"

"Hush, bby, Clyde will take care of this big meanie." Clyde kissed Twilight's hoof, which burst into flames. From the heat of passion.

Adventure Clyde turned and faced Dave with the darkest heroic stare ever seen. "Twilight loves ME, you'll see!"

"Actually, I don't love eith-"

"LOVES ME!" Clyde bellowed.

"LOVES YOU NOT!" Dave screamed, shooting magic at Clyde.

"LOVES ME TOO!" Clyde was hit unconscious OH NO!

"AHA! It is I, Inaction Dave, who wins the heart of Swilight Tarkle AFTER ALL!" Dave posed triumphantly.

Adventure Clyde lay motionless, his inaction pleasing Inaction Dave. "It is now YOU who are inactive!"

"I don't have all day, you tw-" Dave kissed Twilight suddenly, claiming his prize.

"..." Clyde said.

"...no..." Clyde stirred.

Raising a lopsided blue limb, Adventure Clyde pointed at Inaction Dave accusingly.

"You have fallen into my TRAP!" Clyde stood triumphantly and grinned.

"It's a TRAP?!" Dave grumbled!

"Oh YES Inaction Dave. I have fooled YOU! By attacking me and trying to STEAL my girlfriend..."

"I'm not your girlfrie-"

"AHEH-HEH-HEM! You, Inaction Dave, have become..."

Clyde leaned in close, quivering his lips and clacking his teeth menacingly.

"...Active."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY ONE WEAKNESS: PLOT ADVANCEMENT!" Dave screamed in rage and pain as his inactive limbs lifted him from the floor and began to move him around the room.

"STOP! NO!" Dave kept moving. "JANE! STOP THIS CRAZY THIIIING!"

"There are no brakes on the ACTION TRAIN!" Clyde smirked, hugging his soon-to-be-girlfriend close.

"AAAGH I CAN'T STOP MOVING!" Dave cried as his now-mobile limbs carried him across the room and out the door. "I am INACTION DAVE! WHY AM I MOVING?!" Dave screamed as he walked and walked, toward the edge of town. His screams echoed through the town.

"CURSE YOU, ADVENTURE CLYDE! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" Inaction Dave was no more. Now, there was only Active Dave.

And our hero, Adventure Clyde. Will the evil fabric be defeated? Can Twilight stop thinking about Clyde? Has he won the eternal affection of Twilight for his heroic deeds?

Twilight shivered awkwardly.

"Um...No."

"Good enough for me!" Clyde picked Twilight up and put her on his back. He took off out the door, chasing after Active Dave. "Let's go, bby, adventures AWAIT!"

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

THE END.

STAY TUNED FOR MORE ADVENTURES OF ADVENTURE CLYDE!