Thunderstorm: The 5170 year old virgin
I sit at the bar on a bar stool drinking an Applejack Daniels. The most awkward thing happened to me yesterday, I turned 5170 and I suddenly became known as 'old'. So, as I was saying, I was sitting at the bar drinking when Princess Luna came up to me.
" What are you doing here?" She asks me.
"Drinking." I tell her as I show her the almost empty quart bottle of beer.
She orders a seltzer water and turns to me.
" Your brother says you're still a virgin." She says.
" Yeah, so? Whats it to you?" I ask her.
" 5 millennium without d-" She starts.
" You've gone way too far, Luna" I say.
" We can go..." She starts again.
I get up and push past her and walk out of the bar.
I get home and Celestia is standing in my living room.
" Thunderstorm." She says.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?!?!" I yell at her.
" I was just coming to tell you that you are invited to my party but, for yelling at me, you are now forced to be the servant of my sister and abide to her every need." Celestia says.
" Aww... PISS!!!!!!" I yell.
The next day, Princess Luna and I were walking through the park and she was purposely jumping in all the mud puddles so that I would have to wash her.
Twenty minutes later, she was in the bath and I was washing her left wing.
This is so stupid. I thought to myself.
" Thank you Tstorm." She said.
I was shocked, nopony's ever called me that before.
" Why did you call me that?" I asked her.
" Tstorm, your cheeks are red." She told me.
" Luna, Why do you care?" I asked her.
She placed her hoof on my cheek and looked at me with her bedroom eyes.
" Tstorm, why don't you like me?"
I shook her hoof off my face.
" What's your problem?" I asked her.
She got up out of her tub as I walked out of the bathroom and stood in the entrance hall.
That's when I vomited.
Just a heads up, I vomit when I get nervous.
" THUNDERSTORM! I JUST CLEANED THAT!!!" Celestia yelled.
"Sorry, Celestia." I said.
She scoffed as I walked away.
When I got home, I turned on the TV and sat down in my favorite easy chair. The only thing interesting on the TV was the football game between the Canterlot Yellow Jackets and the Ponyville Golden Hurricanes. The time was 4 minutes left in the 3rd quarter, Ponyville leading by 2 when I heard the knock on my door.
"Who is it!?" I yell.
" It's me, Luna. Can we talk, mare to colt?" She asks me.
"This isn't one of your sexual advances, is it, Luna?" I ask her.
" No its not."
" Door's unlocked, then." I say.
She walked inside and sat on the couch.
" I'm sorry about today, Tstorm." She said.
" Yeah, sure you are." I say sarcastically.
" But, Tstorm, I have to ask you a question." She says." Why don't you like me?"
"Because."
"That's not a liable excuse, Tstorm."
"Okay then, I'll tell you why I don't like you. I have to live with everypony else not liking me so its easy to assume you don't either."
I looked at her and saw two things out of the ordinary, one, she was not wearing any eye shadow which, I didn't expect and two, she was crying.
" Luna? Don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry!" I said.
I cantered over to her and hugged her.
Thunder roared outside.
The door opened and in stepped my brother, Lightning Storm.
"What are you two doing?" He asked me.
" Watching football." I said.
" I need to go." Luna said.
" Let Thunderstorm fly you home."Lightning said.
Luna and I walked out back to my underground hangar and found the best thing I had ever owned, my armored UH-1B, Ol' Ironsides.
We flew to Canterlot and landed. When we got out, we went inside and a guard stopped us.
" Do you have a ticket to the ball, sir?" He said.
" He's my date." Luna said.
"Go right ahead, then." He said.
Luna took me to her room and pushed me against a wall.
" Listen here, Tstorm. I'm horny as hell and you need to do it with me."
"No." I said.
She walked into the bathroom and I heard water run.
It was so hard to control myself.
She walked out of the bathroom and moved her tail out of the way for me to see.
That's when I shot a wad.
My cheeks were redder than the bright red stripes on my nose and chin.
I was so embarrassed.
That's when I blacked out.
Thunderstorm: The 5170 year old virgin
The next thing I remember is me laying at a bar with my hoof clutched around a club soda.
"Huh? What happened?" I asked myself.
The bartender answered for me.
" I don't know how you did it but, you got drunk on club soda and also, there's a rumor going around that you got the hots for Luna last night."
"Wow! I must be one *HIC* lucky guy!"
I walked out to my helicopter and got arrested for supposedly having, 'Inappropriate acts on a princess'.
I was taken to a court room.
" Thunder Storm, for inappropriate acts on my sister, we have to punish you," Celestia said. "You have to fight the infamous beast known as Crabble."
I was taken to the fight ring and thrown in.
Twelve minutes,I told myself.Twelve minutes before I change form. Into Supercell.
For twelve minutes, I got thrown against walls and almost killed.
That's when Celestia took me out of the ring.
"Thunderstorm! You are hereby banished to the human world.FOREVER!!!!!!!" She said.
That's when I blacked out.
I woke up on something big.
"Where am I?"I ask myself.
"On the Starship Shackleton." A human said.
"Why?" I ask him.
"Supposedly, you have been banished here by the one they call 'Celestia' so, for the time being, you're with us." He said.
Author's Note
To be continued in Star Trek: Shackleton
(This chapter was so short because it was supposed to be.)
