Cleanliness Is Next to Rarityness

by Dr Atlas

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rarity, Adventure, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Comedy
Length: 5303

With a broken shower, and a closed spa, Rarity sets out to get clean by any means necessary! Filthiness ensures.

When Rarity finds out her shower no longer works,
and that the spa is down for maintenance,
she goes out to get clean elsewhere.
It doesn't go well...

Author's Shower SHOWER SHOWER!: Title and concept based off one of my favorite episodes of my favorite show.
I'm...uh, pretty sure you can guess which show I'm talking about...
Also, this takes place before Twilight's tree house was blown to pieces...too soon?

Published 2016-02-07 04:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-07 04:40:02 UTC

May I use your shower?

“Did you try turning it the other way?”

Rarity continued fumbling with the shower handle as her sister sat by the bathroom doorway, still surprised to see her sister trying to turn on the shower. “Sweetie,” Rarity said while straining to get the water on. “I’ve tried every single direction! I don’t know why it isn’t working.” Rarity switched to her magic while Sweetie came closer.

“M-Maybe you just have to-”

“I know what I’m doing, Sweetie belle. I just need...nrrgh..need to….gah!” Her horn was starting to spark with how much she was twisting, making Sweetie Belle stepped back.

“Don’t you think that’s dangerous?”

Rarity rolled her eyes and continued pulling. “Oh, please, like the escapades you and your friends do to get your cutie marks arent just as dangerous.”

“But we have a reason.” Sweetie pointed out. “The only thing you’ll get out of this is being clean. It’s just a bath, Rarity.”

Rarity stopped pulling and went wide eyed. “J-Just a bath?” She faced her sister. “Just a bath!?”

Sweetie instantly regretted saying that with the look her sister was giving her. “U-Uh..I-I mean, um.”

Rarity adjusted her bathrobe. “Sweetie, it’s not just a bath, it’s something far greater than that. It’s what ponies do to wake up in the morning, what they do to sleep through the night, what they do to relax after a stressful day, what they-”

“Okay!” Sweetie yelled. “I get it.”

Rarity shook her head and turned back to the faucet handle. “I don’t think you even know half of it.”

Sweetie sighed. “At least I know how to use it, and I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be turning it that much.”

Rarity huffed and started turning the knob again. “These are just extra measures I’m taking.” Rarity said as an excuse, still thinking this was the only way to get the water on.

Sweetie then started thinking of the obvious. “So, if the water’s not turning on, does that mean you forgot about paying those bills you told me not to-”

*SNAP*

With another tug, the handle came off. surprisingly, no water came out. Sweetie came up beside her, seeing her sister's face. “Rarity, you okay?”

Rarity looked at the knob in shock and horror, knowing exactly what she had to say in a time like this.. “Oh...Oh no...t-this is terrible, this is quite possibly the wo-” She shook her head before she could finish. “No, no. It’s fine, I wanted to go to the spa anyway.” She tossed the knob at Sweetie belle, who managed to catch it before it smacked her in the face.

Sweetie looked at it and then at her sister as she walked out. “The spa?” Sweetie followed close behind as they made their way out the bathroom door, now going down the stairs. “You’re gonna go to the spa now? Really?” Once they were downstairs, Sweetie sat in front of her sister. “Don’t you think you’re taking this too far?”

“Too far?” Rarity looked down at her. “Why, I don’t think you understand the severity of the situation, Sweetie.” She went nose to nose with her. “Do you know how important it is for a lady like me to have a natural bath every morning?”

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “Not really. From the looks of it, it’s like not taking a bath is like the end of Equestria. There’s no way it’s that important!”

Rarity sighed and patted her sister’s head. “You’ll understand when you’re older, and when you hit a certain age when showers are needed every single day.”

“Every day?” Sweetie found that ridiculous.

“Now, Sweetie, if you’ll excuse me…” Rarity used her magic to push her sister out of the way.

“But Rarity, what about the store?”

Rarity grabbed the door handle. “I’ll only be gone for a while, Sweetie, it won’t be the end of the Equestria if the shops closed for a while.”

“And taking a bath is?” The only response Sweetie Belle got was the door closing in front of her, making her groan and sit in the middle of the room. “It’s just a bath.” She said, inspecting the shower knob. “How dirty does she even need to be to have one?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I wonder what I should have first...” Rarity said to herself as she strolled down the street. “Maybe I should start with one of the specials, or perhaps the morning treatment, I’m sure the twins can...can…” Rarity started toning down her voice by the sounds of drills and hammers in the distance, she raised an eye and craned her ear toward the noise. “Strange, that sounds like it’s coming...from.” Rarity’s eyes went wide before she went into a gallop, hoping her ears didn’t deceive her, but as she turned to the final corner leading to the spa, her jaw dropped to the floor by what she saw. “Oh no…”

Rarity looked over the building, seeing that half of it was missing it’s walls and, more importantly, the bath’s in that section weren’t there. In front of it were several ponies in hardhats either carrying different types of lumber or drilling pipes, cutting wood, or nailing boards to the spa. “T-this can’t be…” Rarity walked up to the nearest pony, who was currently sawing wooden boards. “E-Excuse me, sir?”

The stallion stopped sawing and turned around. “Not now, mam, I have work to do.”

“B-But why so close to the spa...i-in fact, what’s wrong with the spa?”

The pony tilted his head. “Didn’t you hear, the spa’s closed right now.”

Rarity’s heart stopped for a few seconds. “C-Cah-Ca-Closed?”

He nodded. “Yup, closed. Apparently some weird incident involving excessive use of oil and a hairdryer caused the place to catch an indoor fire. Don’t worry though. We’ll have the place fixed in about three weeks.”

“THREE WEEKS!?” Rarity yelled. “W-Wait, y-you don’t understand, I have appointments scheduled in a couple days, a-and I need to take a bath right now!”

The worker then looked at his non-existent watch. “And I should be on break soon, but you don’t see me worrying about it.” He rolled his eyes and went back to work. “Just take a bath at home. I’m sure you’ll-”

Rarity lit up her horn and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him toward her until they were eye to eye. “My bath’s broken and I need a shower! Do you understand?”

“And I have work to do. Do you understand that?” He stepped away from her and turned back to his work again. “Just wait it out, mam, missing one shower ain’t gonna kill ya.”

Rarity slowly stepped back and looked at the slightly burnt down spa in disbelief. “T-This is the worst-” She shook her head again, still not wanting to say it. “No! N-No...It’s fine, I-I’m sure someone can lend me a shower for the time being.” She turned around and started walking, but not before getting her hooves stuck in mud, which she looked at in disgust. “Oh for crying out loud…” She shook some of the filthy substance off and started walking to the first pony she could think of.

“I’m sure Shy will understand, she has to.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

“Coming!”

Rarity breathed a sigh of relief, thankful to know that her friend was home. “Finally, I can get clean.” She looked at her muddy hoof, cringing. “I just hope it’s not too late.”

The knob twisted and the door finally opened, revealing a yellow pegasus at the door. “Oh...uh, h-hi Rarity. W-What brings you here?”

Rarity adjusted her throat. “Fluttershy, I need to use your shower, it’s very important.”

“M-My shower?” Fluttershy was surprised to hear that. “W-what about your shower?”

“My shower isn't working and the spa is down for construction, I-I guess I should tell you our appointments will be on hold for a few weeks as well.”

“O-Oh...um...I-I see.” Fluttershy looked inside for a quick glance and looked back at Rarity. “W-Well, I-I’m sure it won’t be that bad, w-we’ll just have to wait it out until then, right?”

“But I need a shower, Fluttershy.” Rarity pointed out. “Surely you can let me borrow yours, right?”

Fluttershy bit her lip. “Um...s-sorry Rarity, but...um, my bathrooms kinda...occupied right now.”

“Occupied?” Rarity repeated. “By who?”

Fluttershy opened the door wider, showing a line behind her leading to another room, making Rarity’s jaw drop. “Um...well, it’s bath day for the pets, a-and I haven’t even gotten to all of them yet...y-you can wait your turn if you want.”

“W-Wait my turn, after that many different types of animals wash in your bathroom?” Rarity shivered, not wanting to even know where Fluttershy’s animals could’ve been before they got clean, but she knew desperate times called for desperate measures. “B-But how long will this take?”

Fluttershy started fidgeting. “W-Well, i-it’s gonna take a while, u-usual I need to get some of the fur that might get stuck in the drain, a-and some animals have to be washed a couple times to get them clean, a-and I know angel likes to take the longest of showers when-”

“When will it be done!” Rarity shouted, hoping for a straight answer.

Fluttershy flinched. “U-Uh...p-probably the whole day, Rarity. I have a lot of animals that can’t get cleaned by themselves, you know.”

Rarity sighed, knowing this was hopeless, but she knew Fluttershy wasn’t her only friend that owned a bath. “Very well then. I-I’ll go somewhere else to take a bath.”

“I-I hope you understand, Rarity...I-It’s very important for animals to-”

“Trust me, darling, I can understand when an animal needs to be clean.” Rarity pointed out. “But I suppose I should let you go back to helping them…” She finished sadly.

Fluttershy smiled. “Thank you, Rarity. Now, uh. W-Where did I put that plunger.”

As she shut the door, Rarity took another sigh and turned around. “Applejack’s close by, and mud po- farm pony or not, she must have some way to get clean after working.” Knowing she still had hope, she made her way to AJ’s, only to trip on her bathrobe and land on the dirt road on her first step. “Oh for Celestia’s sake, give me strength…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure ya got everything offa me?”

Applejack smiled and continued drying her sister off with a towel. “Everything ah can see, not spec of dirt should be on ya, for the time being.”

“Wha did we have ta use the hose?” Apple Bloom pointed upstairs. “The bath would have probably cleaned me.”

Applejack laughed. “Like that could-”

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Both of them turned to the front door. “Who do ya think that is?” Apple Bloom asked, the towel covering her head..

AJ shrugged. “Not sure, Mac’s workin’ and Granny’s still out…” Applejack adjusted her stetson and walked up to the door. “Who there?”

“A pony who needs help!” A voice called out.

“Rarity?” Applejack opened the door, seeing exactly who she thought she’d heard. “What are ya doin’ here? And...uh, what’s with the robe?”

Rarity adjusted her robe, hoping she didn’t track too much dirt during her walk. “Applejack, I need to use your shower. The spa’s closed, my showers not working, a-and Fluttershy’s has a line! You have to lend it to me.”

Applejack looked at Apple Bloom, the towel still on her head. “Sorry Rare, I’d help ya with yur shower problems, but let's just say a certain filly and me have already had our bath, and I don’t think-”

Rarity stomped the ground. “I don’t care if a thousand other ponies took a shower in your bathroom! I need a shower and I need it NOW!”

Apple Bloom stepped closer. “AJ says that our bath ain’t really that...uh, usable right now.”

Rarity didn’t want to believe that, she couldn’t believe it, not at a time like this. “Y-You can’t be serious!”

Applejack rested her arm on her sister’s head. “It’s the truth, Rare. You can see for yourself if ya want.”

Rarity narrowed her eyes, thinking this still wasn’t true. “Oh...I will.” Without another word, Rarity pushed past Applejack and started walking upstairs.

“It’s down the hall to the left.” Applejack said, but ended up following her.

Once she was upstairs, she started opening doors, trying to figure out which one was the bathroom. “Where is it?” Rarity yelled.

Applejack sighed. “Right behind ya.”

Rarity turned around, seeing that her ticket to getting clean was right in front of her. “Finally…” She whispered as she grabbed the door handle.

Applejack raised her hoof in the air. “Wait! Don’t op-” Rarity flung the door open and opened her eyes, making them go wide in shock. She gasped and turned to Applejack, who sighed and walked up beside her. “Told ya.” AJ said, pointing at the mud covered bath tub. “That tub’s filthier than Apple Bloom about five minutes ago.”

“And ah was really filthy.” Apple Bloom pointed out. “More mud, dirt and clay than...than, uh...w-well, I just had a lot on me.”

Rarity stepped back. “Wh-Wha..w-what...h-how did...ha..how!?”

Apple Bloom came in between them. “Me and AJ went out ta get the mud ready for the animals...but, uh...w-we kind got carried away.”

“By that, she means a mud fight happened.” Applejack the towel off her sister’s head. “Believe it or not, it made the job go by faster.”

“And it was fun!” Apple Bloom said with a smile.

Rarity didn’t even want to know. “So, I can’t get clean here either?” She asked, knowing she could see the answer right in front of her.

“We got’ah hose and a bucket ta help ya wash if you want.” Applejack suggested. “That’s what I had ta do to Apple Bloom once the tub started having more mud than water.”

Rarity shivered at the thought of getting clean by that. “Applejack, I’m desperate, but not that desperate.”

Applejack shrugged. “Suit yourself. If ya need us, we got some more stuff to do.” She turned around and started walking downstairs with Apple Bloom close by.

“Can we get hay ready next?” Apple Bloom ask as she leapt on the back of her sister.

Applejack smiled and rolled her eyes. “Only if ya don’t treat it like mud.”

As the two made their way outside, Rarity looked back at the bath in disgust. “T-this is the worst…” She stomped the floor. “No! Don’t say it...t-there’s still hope, I still have three more options, might as well go see-”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Spike!” Twilight yelled. “Are you almost done in there?"

“Scales take more time to clean than fur, Twilight.”

Twilight groaned and continued tapping her hoof in front of the bathroom door of her tree house. “Spike, don’t make me come in there.”

Hearing that made Spike rub the soap faster on his scales. “J-Just give me a sec, and I’d rather not let you see me like this!”

Twilight facehoofed. “You don’t even wear clothes, Spike, how can you be-” Rapid loud knocks interrupted their conversation.

“Who’s that?” Spike asked.

Twilight couldn’t think of anyone who would visit her so early. “I’ll get it, just...just hurry up, okay?”

Spike rolled his eyes and continued scrubbing while Twilight walked up to the door. Once she opened it, she was greeted by a white unicorn in a dirty bathrobe.

“Hi, Rarity.” Twilight said, not noticing the face of desperation on her friend. “How can I-”

Rarity grabbed Twilight and shook her. “Twilight! I need to use your bath!”

Twilight was so surprised by the question that all she could say in response was, “W-what?”

Rarity stepped closer. “Bath, Twilight, I need to use it.”

“Y-You need to use my shower?”

Rarity nodded furiously. “YES! Please, It’s urgent.”

Twilight was still confused. “But why my shower? What about yours, a-and what about the-”

“The spa shut down for three weeks and my shower isn't working, not only that, but Fluttershy’s has a line of animals, and AJ’s is covered in mud! You’re the next pony I could think of.”

Twilight looked back at the occupied bathroom, guessing that she should at least tell her. “Listen, Rarity, I’d let you use it, but Spike’s been using it for a while, and-”

“I-I don’t care if it’s cold at this point! I-I just needs something that will wash this off me!” Rarity looked over herself, her bathrobe covered in mud, leaves, sap and was slightly torn in places.

Twilight was curious. “How did you-”

“This is what happens when you walk through the forest in a robe, I fell three times tripping on this thing, and I’d really appreciate it if you’d let me use your bath, cold or not.”

“It’s not that I’d be cold, it’s just that, well…” Twilight started fidgeting, realizing this was a bad decision.

“Well what!?”

Twilight started feeling bad at this point, knowing she was going to tell something so embarrassing to someone besides her and Spike. “There’s a reason why I shower before he does…”

Rarity crossed her arms. “And what reason might that be?”

Twilight looked at the bathroom door one more time, still hearing the sounds of rushing water and hoping Spike wasn’t hearing this. “U-Uh...well…” Twilight stepped closer and whispered in Rarity’s ear, making the white mare’s eyes go wide seconds later.

“He does what in the shower!?” Twilight shoved a hoof in Rarity’s mouth, hoping Spike didn’t hear that from all the way over here.

“I-I know, Rarity, I know, b-but it’s just what he does, I-I’d tell him not to, but it’s just a...really touchy subject.”

Rarity was utterly disgusted from hearing such a thing. “H-How do you know?” She then realized her question and said. “A-Actually, don’t say it, I don’t wanna know.”

“Trust me, you don’t.” Twilight could almost remember how embarrassing it was when she caught Spike in the act..

Rarity still found this hard to understand. “B-But why would he do something so...s-so-”

“Rarity, he’s just a baby, and I’m sure he’ll reach an age where he’ll understand not to do...that, in the shower.”

Rarity shivered. “Oh, h-he better...t-that is just...just...ugh.” Rarity didn’t say any more, she closed the door in Twilight’s face and walked away.

As for Twilight, she stood motionless for a few seconds before hearing Spike say, “Who was at the door?” She then turned around, seeing Spike come out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist.

Knowing that Spike would be mad if she told him Rarity was here and he didn’t even get to say hi, she waved her hoof nonchalantly in the air and said, “Oh...uh, n-no one. So...uh, h-how was your shower?”

Spike stretched. “Pretty nice, but a little cold at the end.” He crossed his arms, knowing why his showers were like this. “I still don’t get why you have to have one before me, I barely get enough hot water.”

Twilight glared at him. “Spike, you know exactly why I go before you.”

Spike knew what she was talking about and stood straight with his eyes closed and one claw pointing up. “Twilight, there are two types of ponies in this world, one’s who go number one in the shower, and one’s that are dirty, dirty liars…” He eyed Twilight for a few moments before walking away, leaving Twilight to question his opinions on using a tub for such an act.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rarity’s robe was starting to catch even more mud from walking everywhere, she could already feel the weight of it dragging on the floor, it only made her more determined to find someplace to get clean. “Okay, Rare, take it easy, t-there’s still two more chances you have, Pinkie and...Rainbow Dash?” Rarity looked up, seeing a rainbow tail hanging from a cloud with snoring coming from it.

“Rainbow Dash?” Rarity called out, not getting an answer. “Dash…” Rarity said louder, still receiving snoring as an answer “Rainbow Dash!” Rarity yelled a third time, making the pegasus’s eyes shoot open and look around in a blind panic.

“Znnguahuh! W-What?” Rainbow Dash looked down, seeing Rarity with an annoyed look on her face. “Oh, hey, Rarity. You called?”

Knowing there was no way she’d get in Dash’s house without wings, and guessing she didn't have as shower either, Rarity asked, “Dash, do you have any rain clouds around o-or something that has some form of water that can help me?”

Dash shook her head. “Sorry Rare, but all the storm clouds have been moved over to some town that has a cul-de-sac in it. Apparently some stallion’s been running around and trashing up the place while screaming shower three times, so the weather team moved ‘em there to clean it up...I think it was...peachy lake? I dunno, it had fruit in the name.”

Rarity eye twitched, thinking this was impossible. “When will they be back!?”

Dash shrugged and laid on her cloud again. “Eh, I dunno, soon.”

Rarity gritted her teeth. “I need a time, Dash! It’s very important!”

Dash sat back up. “What’s so important about a rain cloud...Wait, why do you need a rain cloud anyway?”

Rarity took a deep breath. “My showers not working, the spa’s closed, Fluttershy’s bath still has a line, AJ’s is more dirty than clean, and Twilight’s is...uh, n-not that clean either.”

“So, you’re trying to find a shower?” Dash then realized something. “Oh yeah, that reminds me.” She stood up. “I need to take a shower.”

“Y-You have a shower!?” Rarity smiled, almost crying in joy. “W-Why didn’t you say that to begin with? Y-You have to take me to it!”

“Rare, I’m a pegasus, you’re a unicorn. The clouds aren’t really that stable of a surface for you to walk on. Now, I’d carry you, but two mares takin’ a bath at the same time?” Rainbow Dash cringed. “Yeeaaaah, no...Maybe in another story with less plot, but not here.”

Rarity put her hooves together. “Dash, please, I-I need to find someplace to get me clean!”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Sorry, Rare, but I can’t help you.” She started flapping her wings and waved. “Good luck finding one, though!”

“W-Wait! Dash!” But it was too late, the pegasus already left with a rainbow colored trail behind her. Knowing another opportunity of getting a shower was lost, Rarity’s eye started twitching again. “T-This is...the worst...posi-” She smacked herself. “NO! Y-You are not done yet! You still have one last hope, Rarity...n-no matter how weird it is…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mr. Cake rested his arm on the counter and sighed. The day had been far too slow for him. Only a hoof ful of customers came in and, even though it wasn’t noon yet, it still felt like no one else would show up. He was about to take an early break and eat, but the sound of bell, followed by a door slamming made him snap back into reality. He looked up, seeing that a white unicorn had kicked the sugar cube corner door open, almost knocking it off it’s hinges. She breathed heavily and looked around the room as Mr. Cake watched in a mixture of confusion and terror. “Um...H-Hi.” He said nervously. “Welcome to su-”

“Where’s Pinkie!?” The mare shouted.

“P-Pinkie?” Cake asked, only for Rarity to run right up to him.

“Where. Is. Pinkie!?!?” Rarity yelled again, her breathing getting heavier and heavier.

Mr. Cake started shaking. “U-Uh…” He pointed upstairs. “S-She’s upstairs taking a bath.”

Rarity looked upstairs and growled. “Not on my watch…” Rarity stepped off the counter and started running up the stairs.

“W-Wait, d-don’t you want to buy...something…” Knowing he wouldn’t get an answer, he slumped on the counter top again. “It’s always on tuesday…”

Rarity looked around the hall until she saw light coming from the sides of a closed door, which she then knocked loudly on. “Pinkie! Are you in there?” She pressed her ear against the door, hearing sounds of a loud gasp and some splashing. After a bit of muttering and another loud gasp, Rarity lost it and opened the door herself.

Inside was just as she suspected: a pink pony who was taking a bubble bath with a nervous surprised look on her face. “Oh...uh...Hi Rarity. What can I...R-Rarity?” Pinkie then looked over her friend. “A-Are you alright?”

Rarity took one step forward. “Bath. NOW!” She said with a twitch in her eye.

Pinkie’s eyes looked down at the tub, then back at Rarity. “Um...Yeah, I-I really don’t think you’d want to...be in here, right now...” She nervously laughed.

“And why not…” Rarity cocked her head, making her neck crack.

“W-well, uh...I-I’m using it, for one...a-and-”

“Pinkie, you don’t understand what I’ve been through today.” Rarity took another step forward.

“B-But Rarity-”

“I’ve gone through so many places…” Rarity was now inches away from the tub.

“R-Rarity…”

“I’ve walked through town many times…”

“Rare…”

“And I’ve been more dirty than I’ve ever been today!” Rarity put her hooves on the side of the tub while Pinkie looked back and forth at her friend and the small form of bubbles coming out of the water. “So, get out and let me-”

“GUUUUUUUUUAHHHUH! BLEAH!” Rarity stepped back as a black creature with blue eyes came out of the water, panting uncontrollably. “Bleaah...huff...huah...ugh, pleah. Pinkie, that stuff does not taste like...like…” The creature then turned to Rarity and smiled. “Oh, hi Parity, what are you doing here?”

Rarity’s face went blank as the changeling continued looking at her. Pinkie looked back and forth at the bug and at Rarity. “U-Uh, Rarity, I-I know this looks bad...b-but it’s not what it...looks like?”

Rarity didn’t say anymore. She slowly backed out of the bathroom, grabbed the door handle, closed the door, turned around, and made her way out of the building. The changeling and pony watched in confusion until the bug said, “Well, that was weird. Okay, back to seeing how long I can hold my breath.” He then took a deep breath and dunk his head back in the water.

Pinkie glared at him. “Doomie, you are nAH!...o-okay, you are…” She then laid her head on the side of the tub and sighed. Hoping her lingfriend would break his record this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rarity staggered through the town until she hit a dirt road next to a wooden fance, her mind on the verge of being lost. “T-This can’t be happening...I-I had six chances of getting clean...o-only for all of them to fail...t-this is by far the worst...p-possible…” Rarity couldn’t finish as she fell face first into the dirt on the path she was walking on for the fifth time today.

Once she got up, her mind had finally broke, her right eye began to twitch, and her body started to shake. “Th-Thing…” Once she finally finished that sentence, she laid in the mud again, this time with a smile and irises the size of pinpricks Before long, she took off her robe and threw it at the fence, grabbing patches of grass and leaves and throwing them on herself. “Wha...Why clean when you can be happy dirty!” She yelled as she started rolling around, laughing to herself. As she continued going insane, the robe started waving across the wind. It only took seconds for it to fly into the field, coming right at a pair of ponies carrying hay.

“Is it lunch time yet?” One of the ponies asked, receiving a look of annoyance from her sister.

“You’ve asked that three times already, Apple Bloom, and we haven’t even gone through half the hay.”

“But it feels like we went though all of it, can’t we just-” Apple Bloom stopped and screamed as something filled with mud and cloth covered her face. “AH! I-I can’t see!” Applejack dropped the hay bale and grabbed hold of the robe with her teeth, pulling it off her sister.

“What the hay is this?” Applejack threw the robe on the ground, getting a sense of deja vu.

Apple Bloom inspected the fabric in front of her. “Huh...This looks like Rarity’s robe...just, uh, less clean.”

Applejack took off her hat and scratched her head. “What’s Rare’s robe doin’ here, and wha’s it so...dirty?”

Apple Bloom shrugged. “Maybe she lost it while she was tryin’ ta find someplace to get clean.”

AJ picked up the robe again. “But that mare takes care of every piece of clothes she makes."

“Well, maybe she...she…” Apple Bloom flicked her ear. “You hear that?”

Applejack set the bathrobe down. “Hear what?”

Apple Bloom cupped her ear with her hoof. “That.”

“You hearin’ things sis?”

“Nah, look!” Apple Bloom started running up to the fence, right where the noise was. “Ah told ya I could hear it.” Apple Bloom pointed past the fence, right at Rarity who started stomping on the mud with a smile even wider than before.

Applejack put her hooves on the fence. “What the hay?”

“Is that...Rarity?” Apple Bloom asked.

“A-Ah don’t know…” Applejack hopped the fence, her sister doing the same. “Uh...Rarity.” She asked, stepping closer. “Is that you?”

Rarity turned around, her smile still present. “No! Not really.” She said as she continued rolling in the dirt road.

Apple Bloom felt concerned and hid behind her sister. “What do ya think’s wrong with her?”

“I dunno…” Applejack said as Rarity started laughing. “Must’ve hit a mud too hard…”

“Should we...do something?” Apple Bloom asked as Rarity started grabbing leaves and throwing them in the air, laughing even louder.

“Might as well.” Applejack sighed and stepped closer to her friend. “I was hopin’ it wouldn’t have to come to this, Rare.” Applejack turned to her sister. “Get the hose.”

Rarity’s body froze. “Wh..what?”

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“WOOOO! Nothin’ like a shower to finish off the day!” Rainbow Dash flung her wet hair back and stretched her wings as she finally got out of her bathroom, a cloud of steam from the heat started forming the second the door opened. “Time to dry off.” Making sure she could still fly, she flapped her wings and flew out the door.

She was about to head to one of AJ’s apple trees to sleep, but something caught her eyes while she flew over the barn.

“Is that…” Dash decided to investigate and fly down in front of Applejack’s barn, where she saw exactly what she thought. “Whoa...Rarity?” Dash stepped forward, seeing her friend covered in mud inside a large bucket. “That you?”

Rarity didn’t say anything, she rolled her eyes and continued sitting in the bath bucket, completely humiliated with all of this. Apple Bloom came from around the corner of the barn with a hose on her back. “Hi, Dash. You here to watch too?”

“Watch? Watch what?”

The barn door creaked open as Applejack stepped outside, a sponge in her mouth. “Hmph hmphy hmfh hmm.” AJ said, spitting out the sponge next to a smaller bucket of soap and water. “Watch Rare get clean, farm pony style.”

“Rarity, getting clean...by you?” Dash started snickering.

Rarity groaned. “Yes, ha ha ha, it must be very funny for all of you. Now, can we please get this over with.”

AJ couldn’t hold in her smile as she dunked the sponge in the soapy water and raised it and the hose in the air. “Now, let’s see if gettin’ dirt out of your hair is easier than mah sister’s.”

“But you said mine wasn’t easy.” Apple Bloom pointed out, making Dash laughed even louder.

“Exactly…” Applejack said, stepping closer to Rarity as Apple Bloom started turned the water on.

Rarity covered her eyes and prepared for the worse, knowing that this was quite possible the worst possible thing. Dash made it worse by laughing even louder and saying something that would’ve made Rarity run right at her if it wasn’t for the jet of water coming toward her face.

“Wait a minute, AJ. Lemme get a camera!”