El Dorado Has a Great Morning
El Dorado woke up from his evening nap, flexing his massive pecs and blinking his gorgeous eyes as his eight inch cock wafted in the breeze emanating from a nearby open window. He slowly got up from his throne o' sleep(referred to as 'beds' by filthy commonfolk) and walked his way over to the restroom, gingerly stepping over piles of letters from thousands of adoring fans. Speaking of adoring fans, El Dorado was further brought out of his state of half-sleep by the sound of a cheering crowd. He made his way over to his open window and looked down, only to see the usual sight of crowds of busty women presenting their breasts to him as they cheered and whistled. El Dorado knew what these gals wanted, so he flexed his muscles, and all of the girls instantly came, releasing a flood of cunt juice just outside his domicile.
El Dorado scoffed and shook his head, closing his window to allow himself some private time. He then went to his bathroom, took his morning piss, and got into the shower. He cooed as the warm water cascaded down his sculpted body, caressing his manly buttocks in a warm, comfortable sensation. He shampooed his long, glorious golden hair, then applied conditioner to avoid frizz. He stayed in the shower just long enough for the room to fill with warm steam, and exited the shower, shutting the door behind him with manly gusto.
As he dried himself off, El Dorado idly surfed FIMfiction.net on his Google Glass, chuckling at the antics of the horrible, disgusting community that littered the buggy, decrepit website much like plague rats littered the buggy, decrepit streets of Medieval Europe. He guffawed at the literal human garbage that inhabited that website which was oh so lucky to have him. In truth, El Dorado often wondered why he'd stayed on the website for over four fucking years, why he hadn't moved on to greener pastures like moderating a website that would actually pay him or something. Perhaps, he pondered, it was some sort of Stockholm Syndrome keeping him there as he wasted away stewing in the stench of his own masochistic tendencies. It would explain why he remained on the website, dealing with douche after douche who sought him out for their own sick pleasure.
"They've nothing better to do," said El Dorado aloud in a beautiful baritone that crackled with sexual energy. But then, those who bothered him may have nothing better to do, at least they were having fun. El Dorado hated wading through the shittiest of shitfics written by pretentious children and wannabe trolls. Some would just forgo grammar in a cliche attempt at pissing off the community, while others would do something completely fucking stupid like pour thirty minutes into an unfunny, poorly-written Nazi story that had literally nothing to do with the show and spam it in groups in a vain attempt to stave off their crippling loneliness.
"It'd be fine if people like that wrote something worthwhile, but they've typically only written one, maybe two arguably decent stories and the rest are absolute trash. They're never funny, I'd know cuz I'm a fucking riot," he said as he made his way to his pet parrot who also had abs and pecs, "hi Boy Zone, who's a good boy?"
"I swear to fucking god next time you're asleep I'm going to peck your eyes out and fuck you to death," replied the parrot lovingly. El Dorado proudly fed his prized bird, still basking in the accomplished feeling of having taught it about sarcasm.
After feeding his birdy, El Dorado went to the kitchen to feed himself some broccoli and horse ankles, which is the secret to his gorgeous body. he made his way into the living room with a hot plate of delicious grub and put a Blu-Ray copy of Airplane, which is the greatest movie of all time, into his DVD player.
"Leslie Nielsen is so god damn funny," cried El Dorado as he chuckled and yukked his way through the movie, "I love this movie, why does it only have a 7.8/10 on IMDB?"
"I don't know, it's at least worth an 8.3," replied El Dorado's trusty pet parrot. El Dorado beamed at his pet, so proud of its taste in movies. He even kissed it on the tip of its beak, which isn't gay at all because it's a fucking parrot dude, I'm not making fun of you. Please don't ban me, I'm just so god damn bored all the time, I only have a part time job because nobody else is hiring, and the place I work at is going out of business, I'm sorry. I don't even really like My Little Pony. I know I give you a hard time but I could never moderate a website like this for four years without losing every shred of sanity I possess.
It was at that moment when seven busty naked chicks busted through El Dorado's door, their sopping wet pussies dripping with desire. El Dorado scoffed and took off his stylish bath robe which he's been wearing this whole time and invited the bitches onto his dick. They eagerly jumped on, hitting El Dorado with a god damn heptagonal titfuck, which is a technique that only the studliest of studs can withstand for more than ten seconds. El Dorado lasted twice that before showering his seven sluts in cum, marveling at the glee with which they caught and swallowed his stream of semen, drooling as they savored the flavor.
And so it was that El Dorado spent his morning eating breakfast, watching Airplane, and fucking seven bitches. He then moved to Utah and married them all, and they had orgies every day.
And they all lived happily ever after, the end.