One Last Letter

Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I wish it didn't have to end like this.

I had so many dreams, so many hopes.

I wanted to travel the world, experiencing every culinary delight.

I wanted to read a book in every country.

I wanted to start my own business, in Canterlot or Manehatten

I wanted to find that special somepony to snuggle with, in front of a warm campfire.

None of those things will happen, no matter how hard I try.

Now, I'm trapped in an endless pit of misery and despair.

I'm stuck, drifting from bed to bed, scrounging from trash bins for my next meal.

I spend my nights huddled in a ball, sobbing, desperately trying fight off the nightmares that haunt me.

When morning breaks, it's all I can do to get out of bed, knowing that if I stay put I'll die.

I'm too weak to work, because I'm starving. But I can't buy food without working.

It's a vicious cycle, and nopony cares enough to help.

I know plenty of people that could feed me for a full year, with one weeks pay.

But they don't care, about me or anypony else.

All they care about is lining their own pockets.

In fact, I don't even think my "friends" care what happens to me.

I whine about my problems, and yet they do nothing to help me.

They only tolerate me to be nice.

If I was gone, they'd all be better off.

Everyone would be better off if I died.

I would be better off if I died.

I can't go on like this.

Nothing is going to change, at least not for the better.

I'm so tired.

Tired of being hungry.

Tired of being cold.

Tired of being sad.

Tired of being unwanted.

Tired of being unloved.

I've given up.

I've lost all hope of anything ever improving.

I just don't care anymore.

There's nothing left for me to live for, so what's the point in living.

I'd like to blame somepony, anypony, for my lot.

But I can't. It's just the luck of the draw.

I was born in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

I guess this is where it ends.

I stole a bag of morphine from the hospital, and an IV drip.

Finally, I can end this lifetime of pain and misery.

I won't have to worry about food, or shelter or being a burden ever again.

I won't cry or be in pain.

I'll be content, for the first time.

Maybe I'll see my family again, I miss them so much.

I don't expect you to forgive me, Princess, but please, understand why I'm doing this.

Don't spend any time regretting that you didn't save me.

There are too many of us, and only one of you.

You can't save everypony.

But you can save others, and most importantly, you can influence others.

Change the system somehow, don't let my story repeat itself over and over.

Because I'm not the first to have broken under the weight of the world, and I probably wont be the last.

Sure, I'm taking the cowards way out. But I don't care.

I've lost everything.

My family.

My home.

My future.

If there was a way out of this mess, I'd take it in a heartbeat.

But I can't see any way to continue on.

My fate has been sealed for a long time, I just haven't had the courage to do anything until now.

I'm sorry it ends like this.

I wish I could have been stronger, but I'm not.

I'm just an average mare, with no special talents.

How can I stand my ground when everything is trying to bury me.

I tried so hard to make my way in life, but I could never get a foothold.

I hate myself so much.

I can't do anything right.

I can't even compose a proper suicide note.

I'm just blabbering randoms things, delaying the inevitable.

I'm so scared, what if I mess up.

What if it doesn't work.

What if somepony stumbles in and saves me.

I just want the pain to end.

Well, there's no going back, I've started the drip.

I wonder what happens after.

Is there an afterlife?

Or is it just nothing, forever.

Maybe I'll come back, as a different pony, with a better life.

What if I get to chose what I do for eternity?

I'd chose to live in a world where everyone is safe.

Where there's no pain or suffering.

Everyone will have everything they need.

Everything would be perfect.

Why me.

Why did my life have to be so horrible.

Why did I have to live with so much pain.

WHY

why me

What did I do to deserve this.

I'm sorry, I didn't want this, any of this.

I wanted a life.

I wanted to be happy.

I wanted to be loved.

I don't want to be in pain, I don't want to hurt anymore.

It hurts so bad, why won't you let me die.

Please let me die, I'll do anything.

Just stop this pain.

My heart is on fire, ripping itself apart.

I think I'm screaming, but I can't tell.

SO MUCH PAIN.

My heart hurts, my chest hurts, my foreleg hurts, my head hurts.

I'm on fire, it feels so good.

I can feel everything, for the first time in a long time.

Is this what dying feels like?

It's amazing, why would anyone want to live when they can feel like this.

I feel so good, like I'm floating on water.

Ha ha.

So smooth, and the lights going out.

I guess fhtef_____

Goodbye,
Shadowed Song