One Last Letter

by Shadowed Song

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Tragedy
Length: 1439

A broken mare sends one last letter.

A broken mare sends one last letter.

Published 2015-09-27 15:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-24 04:15:59 UTC

A Final Goodbye

Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I wish it didn't have to end like this.

I had so many dreams, so many hopes.

I wanted to travel the world, experiencing every culinary delight.

I wanted to read a book in every country.

I wanted to start my own business, in Canterlot or Manehatten

I wanted to find that special somepony to snuggle with, in front of a warm campfire.

None of those things will happen, no matter how hard I try.

Now, I'm trapped in an endless pit of misery and despair.

I'm stuck, drifting from bed to bed, scrounging from trash bins for my next meal.

I spend my nights huddled in a ball, sobbing, desperately trying fight off the nightmares that haunt me.

When morning breaks, it's all I can do to get out of bed, knowing that if I stay put I'll die.

I'm too weak to work, because I'm starving. But I can't buy food without working.

It's a vicious cycle, and nopony cares enough to help.

I know plenty of people that could feed me for a full year, with one weeks pay.

But they don't care, about me or anypony else.

All they care about is lining their own pockets.

In fact, I don't even think my "friends" care what happens to me.

I whine about my problems, and yet they do nothing to help me.

They only tolerate me to be nice.

If I was gone, they'd all be better off.

Everyone would be better off if I died.

I would be better off if I died.

I can't go on like this.

Nothing is going to change, at least not for the better.

I'm so tired.

Tired of being hungry.

Tired of being cold.

Tired of being sad.

Tired of being unwanted.

Tired of being unloved.

I've given up.

I've lost all hope of anything ever improving.

I just don't care anymore.

There's nothing left for me to live for, so what's the point in living.

I'd like to blame somepony, anypony, for my lot.

But I can't. It's just the luck of the draw.

I was born in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

I guess this is where it ends.

I stole a bag of morphine from the hospital, and an IV drip.

Finally, I can end this lifetime of pain and misery.

I won't have to worry about food, or shelter or being a burden ever again.

I won't cry or be in pain.

I'll be content, for the first time.

Maybe I'll see my family again, I miss them so much.

I don't expect you to forgive me, Princess, but please, understand why I'm doing this.

Don't spend any time regretting that you didn't save me.

There are too many of us, and only one of you.

You can't save everypony.

But you can save others, and most importantly, you can influence others.

Change the system somehow, don't let my story repeat itself over and over.

Because I'm not the first to have broken under the weight of the world, and I probably wont be the last.

Sure, I'm taking the cowards way out. But I don't care.

I've lost everything.

My family.

My home.

My future.

If there was a way out of this mess, I'd take it in a heartbeat.

But I can't see any way to continue on.

My fate has been sealed for a long time, I just haven't had the courage to do anything until now.

I'm sorry it ends like this.

I wish I could have been stronger, but I'm not.

I'm just an average mare, with no special talents.

How can I stand my ground when everything is trying to bury me.

I tried so hard to make my way in life, but I could never get a foothold.

I hate myself so much.

I can't do anything right.

I can't even compose a proper suicide note.

I'm just blabbering randoms things, delaying the inevitable.

I'm so scared, what if I mess up.

What if it doesn't work.

What if somepony stumbles in and saves me.

I just want the pain to end.

Well, there's no going back, I've started the drip.

I wonder what happens after.

Is there an afterlife?

Or is it just nothing, forever.

Maybe I'll come back, as a different pony, with a better life.

What if I get to chose what I do for eternity?

I'd chose to live in a world where everyone is safe.

Where there's no pain or suffering.

Everyone will have everything they need.

Everything would be perfect.

Why me.

Why did my life have to be so horrible.

Why did I have to live with so much pain.

WHY

why me

What did I do to deserve this.

I'm sorry, I didn't want this, any of this.

I wanted a life.

I wanted to be happy.

I wanted to be loved.

I don't want to be in pain, I don't want to hurt anymore.

It hurts so bad, why won't you let me die.

Please let me die, I'll do anything.

Just stop this pain.

My heart is on fire, ripping itself apart.

I think I'm screaming, but I can't tell.

SO MUCH PAIN.

My heart hurts, my chest hurts, my foreleg hurts, my head hurts.

I'm on fire, it feels so good.

I can feel everything, for the first time in a long time.

Is this what dying feels like?

It's amazing, why would anyone want to live when they can feel like this.

I feel so good, like I'm floating on water.

Ha ha.

So smooth, and the lights going out.

I guess fhtef_____

Goodbye,
Shadowed Song

A First Hello

I woke up to the sound of music. But not just any music, my music. In fact, it was the flute piece I'd composed and been working on for most of my life. A piece I'd never performed in public, and certainly never made a recording of. As I sat up and looked around the room in confusion, my brain slowly caught up. This wasn't the cheap inn I had broken into, this was a hospital room. And sitting on the bedside table was a gramophone, and a sealed letter, addressed to me. From Princess Celestia. There wasn't an iv dripping morphine into me, and I wasn't dead. Shocked, I picked up the letter, opened it, and read.

Dear Shadowed Song,

I am so sorry. You slipped through the cracks, and I didn't find you in time. All those years alone, in pain and afraid, I cannot begin to express my regret that I couldn't save you.

I know you thought that nopony cared about you. That nothing you did mattered. But I want you to know, and truly believe me, there is somepony that has watched over you your entire life. She spent every moment of the past twenty years cheering for you, and listening to your music. She did everything in her power to try and help you out. Your music floated through the night, and found her when she needed it most. In the depths of her despair, your song saved my little sister, and gave her a reason to fight back against her own nightmares.

Last night was the first time I've heard from her in almost a thousand years. Thinking you were about to die, she broke a part of the spell binding her to the moon, and implored me to come save you. She could have escaped from her banishment, but instead she used her magic to keep you alive until I got here. She asked me to tell you, please, keep making music. Keep her company until she's able to return to Equestria, and hear you in person. She loves your music, and she truly cares about you.

I would also ask you do this. Please, I beg of you. Play for my sister, and live. You've done more for her than I ever could, and thank you for that from the bottom of my heart. Once you've recovered enough to leave the hospital, I would like to talk to you, face to face.

Until then, be well. And thank you once again.

Yours truly,
Princess Celestia.

I put the letter back onto the table and laid back down, tears streaming down my muzzle. I couldn't tell if it was from the letter, or the fierce ache I could now feel throughout my body. As I listened to my music, and drifted back to sleep, I smiled, for the first time in years.