For the Woman Who's Everything
Discord and Midnight Sparkle floated in an endless chaos of her design. Discord looked at Midnight.
“So,” He said.
Midnight blinked. “So.”
“Was it worth it?”
Midnight Sparkle surveyed the chaosscape. “...I think so. I now know everything there is to know about magic.”
Discord hummed. “That may be true, but now you have no one to share it with.”
“That’s okay.” Midnight Sparkle shook her head. “I didn’t really have any friends anyway. Now I have power, which is better.”
“Eeyuch,” Discord said as he visibly shivered. “That’s what I don’t like about you nihilist types. Always destroying everything.”
A patch of condensed nothing creeped by Midnight’s head. “W-what do you mean? I’m not a nihilist!”
“You’d be hard pressed to convince me otherwise, considering you just destroyed everything.” Discord snapped his talon. “Look at that: nothing. No trees, no ponies… no toaster waffles.”
“...I like toaster waffles.”
Discord sighed. “Well, that’s too bad, isn’t it? Because you’ve destroyed all the waffles and the toasters, not to mention all of the electromagnetic forces required to power such a device.”
Midnight bit her lip. “I think I messed up.”
“Oh, really‽” Discord glared at Midnight. “Whatever gave you that idea?”
“Well, it’s just—”
“No, I’m serious! Every time a nihilist destroys reality and we’re at this spot, it’s always the same thing: They feel fine with it until I bring up something trivial. Last time it was internet. The time before that it was toilets.”
“Toilets aren’t trivial.”
Discord pinched the bridge of his muzzle. “Well, we don’t have toilets either. Happy?”
“Well,” Midnight said as she clenched her fist, “I’m not really one to dwell on failure. How do I make these things again?”
“That is the question, isn’t it?” Discord asked. “Because you can’t very well create these things without consuming your power, and by the time you create enough of the trivialities to be comfortable, you’ll probably have to breathe again, and you’ll die.”
Midnight grasped her throat. “I’m not breathing right now?”
Discord facetaloned. “Now she figures it out,” he murmured.
Midnight started hyperventilating. “But if I’m not breathing right now, how am I alive? I mean, you have to breathe to be—”
Discord slapped her across the face. “You’re pretty much pure energy right now, you don't have to breathe. Calm down.”
“...Oh.” Midnight rubbed her cheek. “How do you slap energy hard enough to make it hurt?”
“Hi, I’m Discord,” he said as he extended a paw in greeting.
Midnight pursed her lips. “That doesn’t make sense.”
Discord grinned. “Hi, I’m Discord.” He retracted his paw.
“Well, anyway, thank you,” Midnight said with a smile. “I almost lost my head there.”
“As opposed to when you lost your head eating the universe?”
Midnight Sparkle looked down. “...About that. How do I fix that?”
“In my experience,” Discord said as he tapped his chin, “the only way to fix that is to become the universe.”
“I don’t follow.”
Discord chuckled. “You’re a science type, right? Well, right now, you contain all of the energy in the universe as potential energy. Were you to detonate yourself with enough force, your personal mass combined with the newly created kinetic energy would be enough to seed a new universe.”
“Okay, now I get it.” Midnight squeezed her eyes shut. “But I don’t like it.”
Discord wrapped an arm around Midnight’s shoulders. “Think of it like this: you’ll have done something scant few have accomplished. Surely there’ll be some sense of pride in that.”
“But who will remember me?”
“Who will remem—” Discord sharply inhaled “—okay. Let’s think this through. Who’s around to remember that you consumed everything?”
“You are.”
Discord nodded. “And who will be around to remember that you seeded a new universe with your own matter?”
“...You will.”
“That’s right!” Discord pulled away from Midnight. “Now what are you waiting for?”
Midnight cringed. “Do I really have to destroy myself to fix everything?”
Discord smirked. “Well, you really won’t be fixing anything as much as creating a new everything.”
“I suppose that’s true.“ Midnight nodded, then glowed with an incandescent brilliance. “Thanks, Discord. I suppose this will be a new adventure for me, finding out what it feels like to be destroyed.”
Discord put his arms behind his back and winked. “It’ll certainly be an undiscovered country, that’s for sure.”
Midnight smiled. “Right.” With that, she detonated with an untold force that quickly expanded light-years in a span of nanoseconds.
Discord looked at his wrist. “Now to wait several billion years…”
“..and that’s how Hipporia was made!” Discord told Maelstrom the wizard as they both lounged in the lush grass.
Maelstrom stroked his beard with his hoof, staring ponderously into the air. “I don’t believe you.”
Discord placed a paw on his chest. “Me? You don’t believe me, your very best friend?”
“Well, my best friend keeps turning my cloaks into snakes,” Maelstrom said with a chuckle. He stood up. “But I’m sure it’ll make a riveting story to tell Princesses Penumbra and Crescent.” Maelstrom shook his head as Discord stood up and dusted himself off. “It’s the tallest tale I’ve ever heard.”
Discord chuckled as he pat Maelstrom on the back. “Well, I always believed tall tales are the best form of story.”
Maelstrom looked over his shoulder as he walked away. “You coming, Discord?”
“In a minute,” Discord said as he waved away Maelstrom, “I’ll catch up.”
“Well, I’ll be waiting for you in the Endless Castle,” Maelstrom said. He left Discord alone. Discord looked down, then up into the sky and winked.
“Told you I’d remember,” Discord said with an impish smile as a fresh breeze caressed his face. He sighed and headed towards the Endless Castle, satisfied that he kept his promise. He learned the value of keeping his word a long time ago.
