Irreversible and Irreplaceable

by Skylarking the Stargazer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tragedy, Dark, Sad
Length: 3068

Fluttershy remembers why she hasn't returned to Cloudsdale ever since.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are enjoying their time in their Pegasus residing birthplace, but it all goes wrong when a strikingly familiar memory of her family recalled to the yellowy one, that she has regretted to recall until now.

Thanks (unknown) Background Pony #A852 for making this awesome artwork! https://derpiboo.ru/147

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-18 00:55:12 UTC

But Still Dash Forward

Puffs of empty spaces, and enormous white clouds, Rainbow Dash went for the big game by soaring through the air and twirled through a cloud what was shaped like an obstacle course. Without a single fumble, an aerial maneuver, looped and coiled a cloud into a twizzle, the cyan pegasus ended her stunt with the unmatchable Sonic Rainboom. Perfectly landing onto the large piece of uninhabited cloud. Rainbow glanced around at the scenery; pillars that were about four feet tall, perfectly distributed two by three. In the middle of the cloud there was the large playground equipment; such as bars for lifting and climbing, two slides for foals to enjoy their short and sweet ride, and of course there are large pipes for ponies to go in and hang out.

Taking a deep breath, Rainbow shouted out "Halle-Celestiah!". She didn't even know why she said something so strange before, but her hype was too much for her to handle.

Not satisfied with her accomplishments, she shot up into the sky and flew in a circle all around, enough to create a mini wind storm that spread color by color. Then finally plummeted down, with another unflawed landing. Now that she's quenched her thirst and had enough stunts to continue her day, Rainbow Dash turned back to where she came from, she raised a hoof and waved it back and forth, calling out,

"Fluttershy!" The voice was loud enough to stretch across the large valleys and gorges where the dragons reside in. "Still not here yet?!"

A figure with long pink and cherry blossomed hair started to pace her flying towards the cloud where Rainbow was standing on. She made it, but with great exhaustion of energy. She skidded across the cloud and almost fell over. She panted hard and breathed heavily. Rainbow Dash flew by her side, trying to take a look at Fluttershy's dying face. She almost laughed out loud, because she can barely see the yellow pegasus' face through her thick pink hair.

"I-" she panted more and finally raised her head out. Fluttershy's face after getting out of her hair, was her normal expression. "I t-thought you were going to wait for m-me."

"Ha! Wait?? Who has time for that when you have the right to show off who you are by speed and agility?! This is Cloudsdale, remember? The freest city in all of Equestria!" The cyan pegasus stood tall and proud, her head looked up to the sky, eyes beamed at the sun's gaze, she closed it and sniffed a breeze from the north.

And let it all out

"Well, if you suppose..." Fluttershy walked over to the swings section, and just sat there, pushing herself almost lifelessly. "I do enjoy these sets, though. They do give me quite the thrill!"

Rainbow Dash, however, was not impressed by her opinions. She facehoofed herself and shook her head, just thinking on when will her friend stop being such a passive minded featherbrain and board the express. But even to a pony like Rainbow, watching and witnessing somepony like Fluttershy enjoying her life calmly and peacefully can touch her and make her addict to the mindset that she never had.

She went onto the swing as well with near full reluctance.

"Ugh okay, you win this time," Rainbow grumbled, but then tilted her head down to their shadows, she changed her mind, "but now that you mentioned, Fluttershy, this place really gives the memories away..."

"Really? Because I don't recall coming here before. A-actually," the cherry blossomed pegasus paused for a moment to think, trying to recall her photographs from her original birthplace. "I don't think I ever returned to live in Cloudsdale since I fell onto the land."

"What?!" Rainbow Dash turned her head, focused onto her best friend. She jumped off the swings and was nose to nose with Fluttershy, her ruby eyes were half shocked but somewhat angry at the same time. "You're saying you NEVER returned back to Cloudsdale since you were rescued by those swarms of butterflies?"

"Well, I've came back for visits and maybe sometimes duties that required me to come here, but staying..." Fluttershy now has her front hooves pressed onto her head, her eyes closed in a serious manner trying to remember. In the end, however, was all a blank space.

"I never did, I believe. I think I was an orphan the whole time, in that old cottage of mine..."

Rainbow Dash released the pressure between them, she flew up onto the black bar where the the chains of the swings hang. She lied onto it with her back, legs crossed like she always does when she's bored, and thought for awhile.

'Alone... All by herself... Never returning back to Cloudsdale... Orphanage... How is it even possible for somepony like her to take care of herself for such a long time...?'

"Ugh!" The cyan pegasus shook her head off this disturbing topic, and gazed around to look for something else to do. She noticed the green slides connected to the large structure of the playground nearby, and was relieved so that this matter can slip away. She flew back down and pointed towards those comfortable looking slides,

"Hey! Check it out! Maybe we can talk on those instead!"

The yellow pegasus only giggled as she slowly got off the swings, as Rainbow was busy wondering why she did so, Fluttershy replied,

"Really? I always you wanted to be "cool"."

"Umm, well..." Rainbow did a phony smile, and tried to come up with a good response, but her best friend is already beginning to trot towards the slides. Refusing to be beaten by her snail pace, Rainbow Dash darted straight towards the main playground. She stood tall and proud again for winning in such childish manner.

Once she reopened her eyes however, Fluttershy was there standing, not budging an inch, her head hung a bit lower than usual, her mane was covering her face again, everything suddenly just stopped. Rainbow began to feel a rush of cold air, as if it were the wendigos trying to chew up her soul. She was intimated by Flutteshy's speed, which she believed to be slower than even a snail.

But this, this is just too slow.

"Fluttershy!" The rainbow maned mare finally called out (with a breath of courage of course), "What are you doing?!"

Fortunately, the pink maned pony responded immediately, and began flying towards Rainbow and the slides. Although still a bit puzzled by Fluttershy's actions, Rainbow shrugged it off and flew up onto the large structure of playground equipment. Front hooves behind her head as she lied down, legs crossed just like before, she waved her counterpart to come to where she was laying.

"Umm, so. Why did you choose this place again?" The yellowy pegasus asked timidly, didn't want to sound rude to her friend's decision.

"Ehh, I just wanted to switch the mood a bit. Besides," she got up but still sitting, "who wants to sit by the side and not be in the center of attention?"

Fluttershy froze, thinking of how she would act on the stage, assailed by the eyes of millions. She can only stand there, as if they were all threatening her with lethal weapons. She shook her head to get out of this mind trap as Rainbow continued,

"Nopony knows who you are if you're not out there expressing yourself, Flutters. Nopony would be able to help you if you don't speak up."

Right after Rainbow Dash finished her last word, Fluttershy screeched for a second, and now had her hooves pressed heavily against her head. She panted much harder than before, she is now rolling back and forth on the wooden equipment platform, her mane covered all of her face again. Rainbow panicked, and was in an equal amount of pain for her friend. She put her blue hooves onto the grieving mare, trying to get a clearer image of what actually is happening to her.

"Fluttershy? Fluttershy! Are you okay?! Respond to me!"

It was futile. Rainbow's voices entered into Fluttershy's head and conflicted against her thoughts, making her suffer even more.

Dreadful deeds indeed.

It was raining.

There was a heavy dose of atmosphere laid upon all of Cloudsdale.

Just in a typical castle like house; but even with the rain's beat, ripples inside a cup of tea can be heard. Not far by the large windows covered with rosy red curtains, there was a mare, also rosy red, reading the Cloudsdale Daily on a green sofa drawn with flowers and vines. Page by page, looking for her best topic in terms interest. Followed by the sound of flipping paper, was a navy turquoise pegasus walking into the living room, he gazed around, and finally got onto the sofa next to the mare. He opened his mouth and asked,

"Do you think our little honeybun is going to be fine in school? I mean, although it is a kindergarten, but this may affect her future."

The rosy red mare did not immediately respond. Instead, she put her paper down and got herself upright on the sofa, putting a hoof onto  the stallion, and gave him the brightest smile that a stallion can ever receive.

"Humming Tree, sweetie! Our little Flutts is going to be fine! She never had any issues with her classmates. Why the tummy ache already?"

"Sigh, I know Silent Silva," Humming Tree replied, he opened his wing slowly, and closed it tight. "But she always seemed so, fearedof us..."

"Is it because I wasn't good enough of a father? I-did I do anything wrong? Was it because of my clumsiness-"

"Humming! Please! Stop being such a worry wart!" Silent Silva snapped, but her voice was too calm and beautiful even when upset in an ugly way, "All the time! That's how you mess things up in this house-"

The neighs have called, outside the couple's window was a chariot and a driver, carrying the last little passenger on it. The filly's mane and tail swooped high as she ran towards the front door, opening it with a key. Both Humming Tree and Silent Silva noticed that their five year old daughter is back from kindergarten.

Only not the best return.

They saw Fluttershy, running to her room; or the room that the whole family shares, crying and sobbing onto the bed. Immediately knowing how to put the situation with the best response, Humming Tree and Silent Silva followed Fluttershy into their room. The scarlet maned mare went behind Fluttershy,  blanketed the yellowy filly into her grasp, while the deep green maned stallion got onto the bed, in front of Fluttershy. He slowly and gently picked her head up with his hooves. With a natural smile, but he was quite nervous while doing so, his hooves sweated like flood, enough to give him a quick bath. Humming then asked her,

"Sweetie, what happened at school today?"

The small pegasus looked into his eyes, the amber of his pupils reminded her of her own skin, which she learned that it represents fear, timidness and passiveness. Subsequently, she couldn't even bring up her courage to speak. The mother intervened and calmly whispered to her daughter's tiny ears,

"There is no need to be scared, we're here for you honey. Your daddy is only trying to help you."

Taking a short breath, Fluttershy finally chose to empty her grief, and responded quite quickly too,

"There were ponies that are making fun of me because I couldn't speak up when called. They point hooves at me and jeer because I couldn't even flap my wings for a second. It's not fair because I'm the only pony who couldn't stay in the air. Even the teachers give me scary looks because I couldn't open myself and speak to anypony. I couldn't make a single friend because of this. They are mean to me because I... I couldn't."

She choked on her last word, and sobbed few more tears. Silent Silva wrapped her hooves around the little filly. Putting her cheek against her forehead. Silva's eyes were onto her husband, giving him the message to do his-role-as-a-father. Nerve wracked, Humming gulped and attempted to inject his medicine through his mouth. It just proved to be futile, as Fluttershy's still weeping, but it was quiet and just as painful as listening to a crybaby wailing. Silent Silva glared towards Humming Tree, and shook her head angrily, the blue stallion can only sigh and got off the family bed. He shut his eyes tight, and while not shown directly, the red mare can tell he's about to cry.

"Give me a moment dear," he whispered, "I need to make myself some breeze."

Humming Tree opened the front door, and gave him way to step outside into the haphazard storm. Rain shot down as if it were arrows sent by a heavenly spirit. Wind picked up like the explosions of deadly spells. The thunder just cackled and laughed, the soldiers in the battle were either just celebrating or yelling in rage, hatred and the unquestionable pain. The self reflection Humming saw in a puddle front of the doorsteps:

He was not a good father.

Despite all the troubles he knew he must face away from his home, Humming tilted his head up at the smoked clouds, he closed his eyes, and let silence perform the rest of his wish.

Cry.

Silent Silva nudged Fluttershy to sleep, and right away she turned out to the window, where her lover stood. She can read his tears raining onto the ground even if it was blended in with actual raindrops. The rosy mare bit her lip, and sighed in heartache. She then coughed onto her hoof, she felt a drop of liquid rolling down her hoof, but it blended in with her natural born skin.

Fluttershy cringed and panted, she now is in full flat on the equipment platform. Rainbow Dash, unsure what to do now, tries to think ways to calm her down.

"What does Fluttershy like that makes her feel better? Hmm, OH I GOT IT!" She zoomed off the playground equipment, and returned with a flower mixed between pink and purple in her mouth.

'Fluttershy will definitely love stuffs like these!' She confidently thought, as she poked her friend, who turned to look up at her.

"Y-yes, R-rainbow Dash?" She couldn't even make her words come out properly, as if she was in a terminating disease.

"This is for you, Fluttershy! Hope it can make you feel better!" She said as she passed the plant into the yellow hooves, Fluttershy did not realize what the thing she gave her really was, until Rainbow Dash asked,

"It's a pretty flower isn't it?"

Fluttershy stared at it for a hard twenty seconds, trying to locate what her brain was corrupting on about this specific object Rainbow is holding. Rainbow made a quiet gulp, anxious on what's going to happen to her friend, all she wanted to do is make her smile again.

"No... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!" She screamed to the top of her lungs, forcing herself to press on her head. She threw the flower down onto the platform, almost breaking it in half. She turned her head away from both Rainbow and the flower, trapped into seeing contents she once forgotten.

"I told you we have to pull the delivery to Canterlot at seven sharp! But you tend to not listen as always and take your own time for delight!"

Anger sparked, the house now is quaked by the fully grown pegasi, the smallest one can only shriek and hide herself in her bed, shutting herself away from all the screeching and fighting.

"Look honey, I know this damn delivery is so damn important to you and all, but I need to get my head out of this freakin' craze. I just needed some time to snap out of it-"

"Oh and now you're making such stupid and foalish excuses?! What the hell do you know about business and jobs? You were fired constantly yourself!" Silent Silva was no longer silent anymore, as if a whole forest is being burned down by an unstoppable wildfire.

"That's the whole reason, why I'm FUCKING THINKING FOR SO LONG! WHAT THE HELL DOES AN UPPERCLASS MARE LIKE YOU KNOW ABOUT MY STRUGGLES?!"

"SO YOU WOULD PUT YOUR SHIT TON OF STRUGGLES IN FRONT OF YOUR WHOLE FAMILY?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON'T MAKE THIS IMPORTANT DELIVERY FOR THE ROYALTY? I WILL BE FUCKING FIRED!" She slapped Humming Tree with her red hoof. In return, Humming grabbed a table and slammed it onto the floor near Silent Silva.

Not even a breath of fear or panic, Silent Silva turned her back against her husband and stormed back into the family room, slamming the door tightly.

She tried to shake these provoking thoughts away, but the stain remained to be impossible. Rainbow Dash then picked her up with her blue hooves, and put her yellow friend into her own clutch.

It certainly worked, as Fluttershy retained her senses. She got off Rainbow Dash, and just silently lied there, her eyes were not as cerulean compared to her normal self. Her mouth is neither a smile or a frown, worrying the cyan pegasus even more.

Finally, one sniff, and then another, followed with a tear or two... Was a puddle of blue liquid, leaking through the thin platform gaps. She screamed out loud again, repeating the exact same action like her first headache. Memories began persuing her down once again.

"Ha! She's so bad at flying!" Hoops laughed out loud, enough for the fillies and colts around hear.

"Just a klutz! Can her wings even open?" Dumb-Bell raised a hoof towards Fluttershy, who like he said, struggled to keep her wings wide and free. Other fillies and colts began to jock at her failure.

"Hey, I know! Maybe we can call her: Klutzershy! Haha! Get it?" Score yanked his head upwards and couldn't stop his own humor conquering him, the new name for the small, yellowy filly was welcomed into everypony's ears. Fluttershy could not help but think how she will live her life with this shame. She sweated and panicked, and still fell onto the puffy cloud. Everypony nearby laughed at