Once Upon a Saturday... (According to Caramel)
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A Macintosh for Your Thoughts
Once Upon a Saturday... (According to Caramel)
Author's Note
Last Warning: The following chapters contain some M/M shipping. You have been warned.
Once Upon a Saturday... (According to Caramel)
“Big Mac,” I said aloud, “I… no,” that wouldn’t work. Maybe something else like, “Hey Mac, has anypony told… no!” Celestia, this is harder than I thought, even walking to Sweet Apple Acres is tough enough. I heard somewhere that saying aloud what you’re going to say is a good way of practicing. Since I don’t see anyone around, and no one to listen in for me to say, “Mac, I think that…” but why is it so hard to just say that word with his name attached.
Who am I that is walking down this familiar dirt path towards the big apple farm in town? Well, to the Apples, I’m Caramel, or simply “Mel” to one giant pony. I don’t mind being called that either way, especially from him… my… best friend. And this is where the problem lies.
Oh don’t get me wrong; he and I are great friends for… how long was it again? Twelve? Thirteen years now? Since the third grade near the end of the school year, we have been good pals for years. From our long friendship, I have memories of helping him out with his chores in the summer. Or those times we went to see some good movies, or swimming when we were little, or that one dare we took up that we would go into the Everfree Forest on one Nightmare Night as teens.
There were holidays and sleepovers. From getting into trouble to getting out of it, there’s no pony that I want to be with than Big Macintosh Apple.
So, on the dirt road alone, I start again once I cleared my throat. “Say, Mac, you’ve been a great friend to me. I know that you’re my only friend, and certainly the longest too! Ha-ha… But, I really don’t think I need anypony else. (Yeah, that’s a good start,)” I nodded in approval. “Because really, we have so much in common like our work ethic like me making horseshoes with care and you bucking apples and giving out your best fruit. I mean… You do know that I like you right? That even though you don’t say much, I’ve always wanted to that wisdom you have. I’m impressed actually that I’m the one whom you’re sharing these ideas you have, and I’m grateful too.
“So, I guess, what I really want to say is…” Of course, my stupid mouth couldn’t able to say those four words in one go, now that the bright red barn is in sight now.
Shaking my head, do I really want to do this? Right on the day of the week that we hang out? I mean, for Celestia’s sake, I have come out to him three years ago! He already knows that I’m gay… in fact; he’s actually the only one that knows. Nopony, not even my own family knows about it except for him. Through a hoofwritten confession that happens to leave out the one thing that I’m planning on telling him.
As you can guess it by now… I’ve developed feelings for the big guy. Which makes things all the more awkward than it already is for me, just how do you tell your best friend that you love him? It’s probably a bad idea anyway right, like mixing apple cider and maple syrup with mustard kind of bad. Especially when it’s all about him that I’m planning to confess to.
Before I know it, my hooves are on the porch and my right one mechanically reaches up to knock on the door. And like the rising and setting of the sun, he’s the one to open the door.
“Afternoon,” I nodded, “ready to go?”
“In a sec,” he said in that deep, country enrich drawl of a voice, “Need ta get ma bits first.”
As usual, it doesn’t take long for him to disappear and out the door with his saddlebag. The one that I gave him as a gift for Hearths Warming a few years ago, “So,” he said, “what we’re doin’ today?”
“Let’s see…” I replied, “You wanna see that new spy movie today? It starts at five though.”
“Heard its good,” from here, we started to head out to town. “But we’ve got a few hours ‘til then. So what do we do before the movie?”
“Well… When’s the last time we’d bowled?”
He shrugged, “Can’t say. Guess it’s been too long.”
“So you up for a round or so?”
“I’ve got nothin’ better to do,” he said with a smile. “Sides, Ah’ve been itchin’ for some fun anyways.”
All I could do is nod. To him, this was just another Saturday, a free day for the both of us where we could lay off our work and just unwind. But this Saturday is only filled with anticipation and doubt. Now with him by my side, walking by the lines of apple trees, I’m trying to hide my worry from him.
“Somethin’ on yer mind?”
“What?” I snapped my attention to him.
“You look like you’re thinkin’ of somethin’ heavy. Is somethin’ wrong?”
Oh, Mac, you have no idea, “Just a little tired is all,” I lied, “with work and all that.”
He knowingly nodded.
As we started to walk into town, my mind was filled with questions that buzzed around like bees in a hive. If I told him, how would he react? I mean, his acceptance of me did give me hope. Perhaps, he’s much more enlightened than I gave him credit for. Or… Looking to the side to see his face, I wonder… Does he feel the same way as I do?
Perhaps… he’s in the closet like me, only he’s much less secure than I am. Maybe he’s scared to say he likes me back and I just have to break the standoff. Could it be possible that he’s just started to go out with Cheerilee just to hide what he really is? But if that were even true, where do we go from there?
“You’d think they might have renovated this place,” Mac muttered, now catching up to the fact that we’re standing outside of the bowling alley.
“Huh? Oh yeah, I’ve just realized this place hasn’t changed since the last time we were here… Come to think of it, we haven’t been here since we were colts, have we?”
Shrugging, he walked in and I followed. We paid our way in and got our bowling balls off the rack. Since he’s stronger than me, he got the heavier one that’s about the size of my head. After choosing on a lane and set up the scoreboard, we took turns rolling the balls down to hit the pins.
All the while, my thoughts return. If he does feel the same way and I told him, what then? Would we suddenly start acting like one of those annoying, stereotypical gay couples? The ones that go shopping every other day to get the latest whatever, act over-the-top lovey-dovey, holding hooves so much in public that would even make Rainbow Dash hurl. Would we move in together, maybe get hitched, and raised a family of our own?
“Mel?” Mac hoofed over my bowling ball, “Yer up.”
“Thanks,” taking the orange and blue striped ball, I didn’t care if I would hit or not. Going to my position, I thought back to those questions. For one thing, when I came out to Mac, I told him that I don’t want to act gay; I just wanted to be me. So I can be honest around him, something that I appreciate him over, in that he understood my need to be authentic.
In truth, I don’t care for fashion that much, heck, I don’t even wear clothes that often! I’m just the guy who makes horseshoes for a living. It’s something we have in common, in that we’re very basic. We just need a place to live, an honest job, some good food, and… him.
I rolled the ball into the lane when strike!
Big Mac blinked, “Wow, that’s gotta be the first strike Ah’ve seen ya do. Not bad bud,” while he congratulated me by patting on the back, I looked away, praying that he won’t see the tint of red on my cheeks.
You know, I shouldn’t feel embarrassed. There’s no need to be embarrassed at all, especially being complimented. “Y-Yeah, thanks,” I walked back to my seat, “Your turn.”
Mac didn’t seem to have noticed, (thank Celestia for that!) as he got his ball and concentrated before him. Meanwhile, I watched from behind… Okay, that came out wrong. I-I didn’t mean to say that I’m the kind of guy that takes peaks at his best friend’s rear every chance I got. It’s rude to stare… then again; I confess that I do take some quick glances here and there, but never long enough that he’d noticed or anyone else.
But my feelings on him aren’t on lust. No, anypony could have the body that he has. But I know it’s shallow to fall for ponies on looks alone, I know that. If I did base my feelings on every muscle, curve and stray hair, those feelings would be nothing but shallow. No, I don’t believe that I feel for him because of his physical traits.
Although, I would be lying if I didn't say that it helps a little.
My red friend fires the ball and misses; I could hear the grunt of disappointment from here. As the ball rolls back, I wonder about what if we moved in as a couple. Knowing him, he would prefer to live in on the farm which he grew to love. Not that I would mind much, I know how quiet the country can get at night compared to my apartment. And I’ve heard it’s a great place to raise foals.
Although, as young as I am, I don’t think I’m ready for something like that yet. I don’t know if I could handle being married to another pony, even less with raising a kid too!
“Mel, yer up,” Mac said, stepping off the wooden lane and onto the tiles.
As we bowled, I concluded that if we somehow started dating, we should start slow, at a place where it’s comfortable for both of us. And that marriage can wait; I think we still got time.
Time?
I looked at the clock on the wall, “Hey Mac, I think we should start heading over.”
He looked too, with a nod; we put the balls and scores away and headed out the door.
“Yer sure that nothin’s wrong?” he asked and I wondered what he was talking about. “You’ve been quieter than usual today. What’s goin’ on?”
“I’m just… thinking.”
“Ah see that,” he pointed out, “But at least you tell me what’s happenin’.”
It’s true, being his closest friend; I do tend to go to him to help resolve my problems that I couldn’t figure out on my own. Yet, I can’t really tell him what’s on my mind, not here in the open, and especially not now. “It’s nothing.”
“C’mon,” he drawled, giving me a scolding kind of look, “Somethin’s botherin’ ya. What is it?”
“I… uh…” crap, what am I supposed to say? C’mon Caramel, think! “I think I… might have a crush on-”
“Oh!” my red friend quickly realized, “Finally got yer eye on somepony?”
I couldn’t look at him; try to glance at anything but him.
He laughed, “Don’t be shy, who is it?”
“I-I uh…”
“Mel, you’ve gotten me curious, who is he?”
‘The one that’s talking to me,’ I thought. “Mac, it’s uh… a-a bit early to tell.”
“Ah see,” looking up again, his judgmental expression was exchanged for a smirk. “Need time ta think things over?”
I nodded while adding, “We really should hurry, the movie’s gonna start any minute now.”
Mac agreed and we started trotting with a new thought in my head. What if I told him and he doesn’t feel the same way? Then again, why would he of all ponies? As far as I know, he just sees me as a good friend, and never saw me anything else. For all I know, I’ve been falling over a stallion that’s straight as a ruler.
Besides, I remember growing up, he would look at the other mares in our class and occasionally ask who among them was the prettiest. And not to mention when he does tell me about this or that mare he wants to date, it just sewed nothing but jealousy.
Yes, jealousy. When on those occasions that he’s with somepony other than me or his family, how could I not feel betrayed deep down even when there’s no reason to be so? With every fillyfriend, it’s been another silent stab to the heart. Even something as simple as spotting him walking next to a pony like Cheerilee I couldn’t help but bitterly questions why it couldn’t be me?
Perhaps, deep down I already knew the answer. Because he’s straight, oh the vicious irony of it all!
Our trots slowed down as we approached the movie theater. Checking the time, The Pony from F.A.T.H.E.R. was still a few minutes away. So we bought the tickets, grabbed some soda, a few candy bars and went in. Luckily for us, we came in while the trailers were playing.
Sitting in the dark, next to Big Macintosh, I’ve been distracted by the movie itself with some good action scenes and story, from the pony next to me. I admit, during the slower scenes, I spend less on the characters on the screen then I do with my thoughts. Thinking about what would happen if I told him and he doesn’t return such feelings. What would he do?
Let’s see… worst case scenario, he climbs the top of Twilight’s ugly crystal castle and jumps off of it as soon as he finds out. Or maybe he’ll swallow the nearest poison he could find as soon as he hears the “L” word leave my mouth. Maybe he’ll get creative and finds some way to use the straws to hang himself from the rafters.
Looking at Mac, chuckling at a funny joke that the spy had made, another scenario comes to mind. What if I tell him, and he never wants to speak to me again? That would be the worst of them all! That would be like I just died and he’ll avoid me whenever we’re in the same room. I don’t think I could handle anything like that. How could I go on with life without seeing that smile of his or hear him laugh up-close? I can’t imagine what it would be like if we didn’t as so much as talk every once in a while.
True, I could stalk him like in that one horror movie, probably hide in the apple orchard, or put some listening device in the barn, or probably watch him work on a hill somewhere with a telescope. But, not even fantasy could match up with the reality sitting next to me, munching on a chocolate bar. Sitting next to this gentle, warm giant that even without looking, I could feel my right foreleg being pressed up against his makes me feel secure. Besides, he’s not the kind of guy who would be outright rude to anypony, it’s neither in our nature.
“Mac,” I whispered.
“Hum?” he takes a sip from his soda, finding that it’s empty.
“Uh…” my mind panics again and automatically searches for some sort of excuse. “You want me to refill that?” ‘Oh C'mon!’ my inner voice yelled at me. ‘Are you dead serious?! It was all too perfect to say something and you just ruined it ya idiot!’
“Sure. Thanks,” he hoofed over his now empty cup to me, and I entered the lobby with the urge to bang my head against something hard. Thankfully, Mac didn’t question the possible bruise on my forehead when I came back.
Once the film finished with the rolling credits, our stomachs told us that it was time for dinner.
“So,” I said as we walked out, “You wanna go home or…?”
He put a hoof underneath his chin, “Nah, Ah wouldn’t mind eatin’ out someplace.”
“So… maybe like hayburgers or-”
“Eeyup,” he cut me off, “That sounds mighty fine ta me.”
We checked our bits, turned out; we still have plenty left over to get something to eat. So we headed over to the little fast food place that has gotten a bit more attention thanks to a certain purple Princess.
Thankfully, it wasn’t too far from the theater either, a mere stone’s throw away. And by the looks of it, there’s no line to stand behind, which was good news for us when we went up to the counter.
“Welcome to the Hayburger, home of the hayburger, can I take your order?” the mare behind the cash register with the paper hat asked us in a monotone voice.
One combo from me and three from him with a side order of apple fritters, and a tall milkshake later, we sat down by one of the window seats and dug in. It’s really amazing to watch the big guy go through all of that food. There were times that I’ve been invited to the Apples for dinner, and I’m still amazed at all the stuff he could shove down. Mac somehow eats three or four times of a meal then I can to satisfy his hunger.
So, while I ate, my mind wandered back to the question of telling him today. It was now that I considered a third option: not telling him at all. Maybe telling him isn’t the best option. Since it might end badly, do I really want to risk the friendship we’ve crafted because I have to be the jerk to develop feelings for him?
It is unfair, I know. But there’s a reason why I have to keep some secrets away from ponies that I care about. Heck, coming out to Big Mac was a risk in and of itself! In a town where although there are laws that keep me from getting fired, kicked out, or beaten up for no go reason, yet when it comes to gay ponies in Ponyville, it ’s not exactly the norm. There’s a reason why there’s no gay bar or any of those straight alliance organizations or the fact that the nearest place that holds any Rainbow Days is Canterlot – simply because there’s not that many of them here. Heck, at times I wonder if I’m the only gay stallion for miles.
Sure, there are rumors here and there like Lyra and Bon Bon. They keep saying that they’re “best friends,” but that doesn’t stop the gossip circles from wondering.
But I’m getting off track here. As safe as keeping these feelings for the big guy hidden is… it’s frustrating. I mean, I’ve been in the closet (well, I’m still am technical) for years, and Mac is the only pony I trust absolutely in sharing my secret.
What if I wait too long to tell him? How long will it take now before he gets married to somepony? If I wait that long, just keep bottling up all these feelings only to probably get depressed, get drunk at the reception and spill both the campaign and my hidden confession while doing some weird dance.
“So…” snapping out of my thoughts, I looked up at Big Mac who was putting his hayfries down. “About this special somepony,” oh crap, “Ah don’t think ya told me who it is.”
“Oh come on Mac, I don’t really wanna talk about-”
“But you’ve been thinkin’ though,” he pointed out, picking up his third hayburger. “So whoever he is, it must be real special to ya.”
‘You literally have no idea.’
“So, is it someone I know?”
I gulped, “In a way.”
“Earth, Pegasus, Unicorn, or Alicorn?”
I blinked, “Alicorn?”
He shrugged, “In this town, you’d never know.”
My hooves shifted uncomfortably, “Earth,” I muttered.
“In town?”
I nodded.
The red guy tapped his chin in thought, trying to deduce who it is. “Smart?”
“Yeah.”
He munched a bit on his burger, “Is this fella married?”
“Huh?”
“Ya know that Mr. Cake is married right?”
This took me completely by surprise, “What?! No! He’s too old and has kids.”
“Sorry,” he held his hooves up defensively. “Ah’m tryin’ ta figuring out who it is. So… Is it that Doctor what’s-his-name?” I raised an eyebrow, “Mostly brown and has an hourglass cutie mark?”
I shook my head.
“Doc Top?”
“No.”
“Filthy Rich?”
“No.”
“Uh… Toe-Tapper?”
“No.”
“Ace?”
“Who?”
“The one guy that plays tennis,” I shook my head, “Is it Baritone?”
“I thought he has a marefriend.”
“Oh, that’s right… It’s ain’t Mr. Breezy ain’t it?”
I shook my head while he scratches his golden mane.
“Karat?”
“Nope.”
“Parcel Post?”
“The mail pony?”
He nodded.
I sighed with annoyance, “No.”
“Savoir Fare?”
“Way too uptight.”
With a defeated sigh he tells me, “Alright, Ah give up.”
“Mac, just… don’t worry about it.”
“Aw c’mon, there’s no need ta…” he trailed off. For a moment I panicked thinking that he’s figured it out. “You haven’t told him yet have ya?”
‘Oh thank Celestia!’ my mind cried in relief. “Well… no.”
He reached over the table and put one of his strong hooves on my shoulder, “It’s alright Mel. Ah wasn’t that entirely confident askin’ mah first date out either. Not ta mention the many times Ah’ve been turned down. Now, Ah know you never have gone on one yerself, but these things won’t happen unless ya ask.”
I blinked, “But… W-What if he says ‘no’ and doesn’t wanna see me again?”
“Then maybe that pony wasn’t worthy to be with from the start.”
“Even if you care for him?” I muttered.
“What was that?”
I tensed up, “N-Nothing.”
“Mel,” the country god scolded me lightly, “You know that not everypony you’ll run into is a jerk right? So what if they’ll say no? Maybe things would get awkward for a while, but you’ll get over it.”
I said nothing. He’s right. Perhaps when I’ve told him, he would still be my best friend because that’s how strongly our kind of relationship is. We’ve been through worst, school transfers and arguments over other ponies being our “friends” we still stick.
Even as I finish eating, I wonder how long have I really been in love with him. I don’t know about you, but I for one don’t buy into the whole “love at first sight” thing. If that were true, I would have shown up to my third-grade class with a box of homemade chocolates and a bouquet of wildflowers.
I did say that it started since High School did I? Or was it in late Jr. High that he started to take notice of how all the fillies say how “attractive” he was? Perhaps it was when some student who accidentally brushed against him did I feel that spark of anger? Or is it that I have loved him all along but didn’t realize it until a few years ago?
Yet, as we walked out, heading towards the farm in the light of a sunset, I asked him about the school teacher. And for a good ten or fifteen minutes, I had to endure verbal torture, unknowingly being inflicted by him. I had to keep my jaw shut as he gushes on about her. Going on how Ms. Perfect is oh so wonderful. Every compliment about how she’s this or that chips away my claim on him. As if the possibility for him to be mine is fading with every passing word until he disappears altogether.
Even on the dirt road, it feels like I’m losing Mac. Even as he smiles at the mentioning of her name, I think I’m at my breaking point where I can’t pretend to be happy for him. By now, I’m already sick to death of forcing feeling numb whenever he talks about any of his marefriends with the kind of care that should be mine.
“Welp,” he said with the farmhouse in sight, “See ya next week.”
I had to do something. Say something to make him change his mind. Enlighten him that the pony he’s been looking for be with for the rest of his life was right here, watching him trot away. Even with all the doubts screaming in my head not to, even with all the millions of concerns and thoughts that I have today being around him, I had enough of remaining silent to keep me from being happy like everypony else.
Even as big as a coward as I am, having the dreaded gut feeling like I’m coming out all over again, I blurted out, “I love you.”
It was as if, for one little moment, I made all of time and the universe stand still. Even Big Macintosh stopped as those words left my mouth. Everything went quiet except for the birds chirping somewhere and the bugs flying by.
Mac slowly turned around with wide-eyed confusion, “Eh… what?”
“I-I…” I croaked, feeling my throat dry up, “I love you. Big Macintosh Apple.”
For me, I was helpless as he blinked, trying to process through his brilliant mind what I so stupidly spat out. I knew this was a bad idea from the start!
“Mac, I…” what could I say? What is there to say now with this dread swallowing me whole? I slumped down on my hunches. Oh, goddesses this was incredibly dumb of me!
I didn’t look up as I heard careful hoofsteps coming towards me; I turned around towards the setting sun. The last thing I wanted to see right now is his face. Yet, he sat down right next to me without saying anything.
There have been many frightening things that I remember from my past, like the dark, the supposed monster in my closet, the Everfree forest, the Apple’s attic, being afraid that the town would find out that I’m different, coming out to my best friend, and now, this silence… this is perhaps the worst of them all. With Mac not saying a word, how am I supposed to know what is going through his mind right now?
Or perhaps, I do know what he’s thinking as he gazes at the sun, ‘How do I say no as gently as possible?’ Yet, I hope against all hope that he would say something but that.
“So…” he finally speaks, like a god of justice, “Why?”
I gulped, “Why you?”
He nodded.
“Well,” I started, “Why not you?” he turned his head to look at me. “Mac… Y-You have been nothing but great to me. I can’t remember a day when you weren’t kind, or patient, or willing to listen to me or to give me useful advice. You’re the wisest stallion I’ve ever met, the most hardworking, incredible when it comes to challenges, dedicated to fixing anything no matter how long it takes, and… you’ve accepted me. Even telling you that I’m gay, you still want to be my friend.” Sighing, I added, “But I guess that’s over, isn’t it?”
I wouldn’t lie to you if I didn’t jump when I felt his hoof on my back.
“How long?”
Shrugging uncomfortably, I answered, “I don’t know… Jr. High maybe? I can’t really tell anymore.”
Another silence, yet he wouldn't remove his hoof off of me. We looked up at the sun that slowly descends below the mountains, bathing the sky in violet. “Mac,” I said softly, “Which is worse: knowing what you’re going to say, or not?”
He raised an eyebrow at that.
“Look,” I sighed, “I’m not stupid. I already know that you’re trying to come up with something to turn me down gently.”
“How’d you know?”
“Isn’t your talk of your marefriend enough to go off of,” I said bitterly.
“Wait, Mel, are you… jealous?”
I snorted, nearly snapped back at him. “What do you think? That I had to stand there, listening to you talk about Lady X as if she’s the greatest thing in the world and oh why could she not just notice me when I have these muscles when you don’t even see that I’m…” I cut off my rant short, closing my eyes tightly. “Why is it that the very pony I want above the warmth of the sun, or the hammering of horseshoes, or the sweetness of apples, is the very pony that I can never have? Mac,” my voice cracked as I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes, “I’m so sorry.”
The hoof on my back slithered around me, then another wrapped around my chest like snakes. I didn’t need to see to find myself in the safest place in the world. “You don’t… feel the same, do ya?” I asked.
“Ah… can’t say Ah do.” He told me, “Guess Ah’m flattered though. It’s just-”
“You don’t feel the same.” I finished his sentence, feeling the tears breaking through.
“Hey now, this ain’t the end of the world.” As much as I appreciate him trying to comfort me, his words fell on deaf, folded back hears. This is what I was afraid of, and it has become a reality. Cursed to the bone, to be forever alone.
“Mel,” I could feel his hoof stroking my mane. “Mel, Ah don’t want ya ta be miserable forever." He paused when my failed to hold back sobs came. “Look, maybe it’s the situation and all but… Is there somethin’ Ah can do?”
“Like what?” I moaned.
“Ah don’t know. Do y’all wanna… you know…”
“What?”
He took in a deep breath before answering, “Mel… Ah can’t believe Ah’m sayin’ this but… do y’all wanna… go out with me next Saturday?”
I jerked my head up, whipping the tears away in shock, even escaping his forelegs, “W-What? Mac did you of all ponies just-”
“Ask ya out?” he put a hoof behind his head. “Ah suppose Ah did.”
My eyes sharpened, “Why?”
“W-Well,” he stuttered, “Like Ah’ve said, Ah don’t want ya ta be miserable. Or think Y'all ain’t worth nothin’ to nopony. ‘Cause ya really are. Ya know, you shouldn’t think yer some walking tragedy that you can love anypony you’s want, but never given the chance ta get the same back. Yer right, it’s really unfair, especially to ya.”
Mac pawed at the ground, “In truth, Ah don’t know about you, but Ah’ve never done anythin’ like this befor’.”
“But… I thought you’re straight?” I pointed out.
“So? And never gave mah best friend a shotta be happy too?”
“Yeah,” I said glumly, “friend.”
Mac put a hoof over my shoulder, “Aw, don’t be like that. Ah guess things will be different now, maybe Ah won’t return what you feel fer me. But Ah don’t want us to separate because of it. Mel, you’ve been kind ta me, and it’s really unfair that Ah shouldn’t do anythin’ to make you not jus’ a better pony, but a good one at that. If y’all want, Ah’ll let ya decide what we should do next week and Ah’ll go along with it.”
I looked up, perhaps he could see the hope shining out of my eyes, “You really mean it?”
“Eeyup,” he nodded. “You’re a good stallion Caramel, and somepony like you should not go on all miserable like.”
I sniffed, "But, what about Cheerilee?"
"Have y'all heard a word Ah've said? We're not officially a couple yet. So for now, we're just datin'."
I couldn't help but laugh, “Wow. Mac, I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s all fine,” he turned around, “We should head home now. Thank ya for hangin’ out with me.”
“My pleasure,” I told him, getting up on all fours.
“G’night Mel,” he called out as he headed towards his home.
“Good night Macintosh,” I said smiling.
For the rest of the way home, I couldn’t stop laughing and singing like a madpony. Now, in my life, Big Mac had performed three great miracles for me. The first was being my friend that has withstood the test of time. The second is his acceptance of me when I came out to him. And the third was what was about to happen next Saturday. And I was to make sure that it’ll be perfect, not just for me, but more importantly, for him.
There were Two Ponies and a Picnic. (According to Big Mac)
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A Macintosh for Your Thoughts
There were Two Ponies and a Picnic. (According to Big Mac)
4:45.
Ah’ve been pacin’ around mah room for a while now. It’s been a week since Ah’ve asked a certain somepony out on a date. Except, unlike some of them that I’ve been on like with Cheerliee or Rose Luck that Ah had developed some crushes in the past, this time, it’s the other way around – not only that but now it’s with a stallion. Even more so, it's mah best friend that Ah’m goin’ with.
Not ta say that this wasn’t what Ah expected ta play out last week. Grant it, all that Ah knew for a few years that Mel swung that way, and the fact that he prefers ta be around me. But in hindsight, Ah guess Ah’m an idiot in not seein’ this comin’. Guess it goes ta show how blind Ah’m really am when it comes ta ponies really likin’ me.
Looking at the alarm clock on mah nightstand, Ah wonder what Mel had in mind for us. Since it’s obvious that Ah’ve never been on a gay date befor’, Ah honestly have no idea what to expect from out of this. But Ah do have my doubts that Mel would do anything out of line, he isn’t like that. So how come Ah couldn’t feel anything but nervous?
Perhaps it’s because Ah’m not sure if AH should go with him in fancy clothes or not. After all, he didn’t say anythin’ about where and what we’ll be doing. What if he booked us in some high-class restaurant that requires everypony to wear a tux? If that were the case, Ah would be unprepared in more ways than one.
Or is it something else…
“Hey Mac!” mah little sister shouted, “Caramel’s here!”
‘Okay, just breathe Mac, it’ll be fine.’ Ah tell myself as Ah left my room and walked down the stairs. Trying to keep as calm as possible before Ah answer the door. When Ah pulled it open, there was Mel. He wasn’t in any suit or tie which Ah inwardly sighed with relief.
“H-Hey,” he greeted me looking down at the floor and pawing his hoof nervously. “You uh… ready to go?”
Immediately Ah thought up with a million responses to that simple question but settled on a nod and a “Eeyup,” because, frankly Ah’m a bit nervous about this too.
By the time we started walking off the porch, Ah couldn’t help but notice the huge saddlebags he was carrying, not to mention the smell that came out of them. So it immediately clicked that he was holding a bunch of food, probably for a picnic somewhere.
“So…” Ah stared, “Where we’re headed?”
“I know a little spot in the Whitetail Woods,” he said, “Someplace where not many ponies would usually go to so we could be left alone.”
Nodding, Ah understood his reasoning behind it. Mel isn’t exactly the most sociable pony in town. Not to say that Ah hasn’t in the past tried to help him make friends when we were in school together. But those friendships never last as long as our kind of relationship since he trusts me so much. Even to go as far as to tell me by a letter one day that he’s gay and was afraid of losing me because of it.
As we headed down the path away from the orchard and through the town, Mel looked a bit jittery as a jumpin’ bug that’s afraid of lightning. His eyes looked this way and that, completely paranoid by the looks of things as if somepony would point us out to what we’re doin’. All the while, he never said a word until we were on the path into the Whitetail Woods.
But once we were out of everypony’s sight and earshot, Mel cleared his throat. “So Mac, how are you doing?”
Ah shrugged, “Fine Ah suppose.”
“Oh… Anything new on the farm?”
“Other than preparin’ for Cider Season, it’s all chores as usual.”
There was a pause as we walked through the path that’s used for the Running of the Leaves. We walked past the lines of trees, with a roof of green leaves that shade us.
So breaking the silence, Ah spoke up, “How’s your job goin’ along?”
“Huh? Oh, it’s alright I guess. I’ve been doing some commissions here and there. But I’m not looking forward to next month, to be honest.”
“Why’s that?”
“Fall and winter are the busiest times of the year. I’m just waiting for a landslide of customers demanding for new shoes before the snow hits. Yet, I can’t imagine what autumn must be like for you.”
Chuckling, Ah reply, “Ah hate it. The real harvest is pure chaos if somethin’ goes wrong, in which every year it does.”
“Like the time you hurt yourself before the harvest?”
“And when AJ wanted ta show that she could take care of the harvest without anypony’s help? That’s it,” Ah nodded, “Or the time when little Bloom nearly set the barn on fire.”
Mel snapped his attention ta me, “She really did that? When was this?”
“Jokin’,” Ah laughed. “As young, as she is, do ya really think somepony like AJ is gonna allow her anywhere near matches, candles or anythin’ else?”
This made Mel chuckle. At least the mood was lightening up a bit. “Anyway, we’re almost there,” he hopped off the path and Ah followed him through the woods until we came to a clearin’ where the only thing there was a log and patches of grass.
He asked me to help unload the stuff in his bags, which I did. And it’s quite a surprise of what he was carryin’ all this time. Asides from the blanket that you’d lay out for a picnic, he had everythin’ that we’d like. From the hayfries from the Afternoon Daisy to the Honey Oat pie from Sugar Cube Corner, this was apparent ta me that Mel did put quite some work into this, probably cost him more bits he would usually spend.
Seein’ all of this spread, it’s rather flatterin' how much effort he went into this, all for me.
“Do you… think this is enough?” Mel asked as he sat the soda bottles down on the blanket.
“Plenty,” Ah sat down on the log, “How long have ya been gettin’ all this?”
“Since after lunch,” he gently sat down. “It took a while to get all the orders in and trying to figure out how to keep some of this warm.”
When we started to dig in this feast, Ah couldn’t help but feel guilty again. On the one hoof, Ah really do appreciate what he’s doing. From offering a helping hoof ta open the bottles to cuttin’ up the pie for us. Like every step of the way, he’s treating me like royalty. Yet on the other, the fact that mah barn door doesn’t swing that way, Ah feel empathetic towards how tragic it is for him. This little date is probably the closest thing he could get to treat me like his own coltfriend, but Ah doesn’t feel exactly the same way.
“So,” he spoke up after munchin’ on some chips. “Compare with other dates, is this any different than the ones you’ve been on?”
“Well… Ah don’t think so. It’s kinda similar except for-”
“Me?” he interrupted.
Ah nodded, “Uh-huh. But it ain’t a bad thing. If anythin’, this is quite relaxin’ havin’ dinner out here.”
“Yeah, that’s the reason why I chose this place. In truth, it’s like one of those thinking places.” Ah raised an eyebrow and he explained, “This is the spot I’ve always come to since I was a colt to think over some hard things. It’s a good place too. There are not many ponies that come by or notice this place. So that way it’s always quiet here. It’s a perfect place to reflect on some important thoughts.”
“Really?”
He nodded, “But after a while, it can get lonely when there’s nothing except the trees and wind.”
“So you come here often?”
“Not always. Just for those days that you want everything to hold still for a bit.”
“Oh.”
Ah eyed one of the sandwiches, but before could take a bite, Mel asked, “Mac, are you sure you’re okay with this?”
“Well, Ah think Ah was the one that asked y’all out. Why do you ask?”
“Can I be frank with you?” Ah nodded as Ah bit into the sandwich, “When you gave your reason as to why you asked me out, I couldn’t help but think there was something you were holding back. So Mac, please tell me honestly, why did you suddenly decided to do this?”
Swallowing, Ah answered, “Mel, do ya remember the last Sisterhooves Sociable, when Ah put on a dress, makeup, and pretended to be a Cousin Orchard Blossom?”
He nodded, “Yeah, I somewhat ran into ya that day. It took me a moment to register what I was seeing. Why’d you ask?”
“Fer one, Ah has many ponies askin’ me about that, except for you.”
“I didn’t bring it up because I didn’t want to offend you. Besides, I have no idea how to bring something like that up.”
“But do Y'all know why Ah did it?”
He rubbed the back of his neck, “Kinda, something about your little sis wasn’t it?”
Ah nodded, “This brings up ma second thing. Ah dressed up fer two reasons. One of which was that little AB was feelin’ down since AJ was called away so she’d had ta miss it. But fer the other, she used ta look up to me like Ah’m a hero to her. But when she’d grew up, she became more attached to her big sis because of all the things she’s done. Ah mean, Applejack is the real hero. She goes on adventures with her friends all over Equestria, gets to attend parties for the most reserved, and even is the element of honesty itself.
“But fer me? What am Ah? Ah just do chores, keep the farm in order, if it weren’t fer ya and our Saturday outings, Ah wouldn’t be interested in goin’ anywhere. So, when ya told me you loved me and watchin’ ya break down, Ah thought back to when AB was there fer me after what happened at the Sociable. Fer a moment… Ah saw mahself as my little sis and asked what would she had done. So, here Ah am. Even if this might last fer a day, if it means ta make you happy, Ah’d do it.”
Mel was left speechless, he looked away but Ah could tell he was blushing.
“Hey, since we’re bein’ honest,” Ah started, “Mel, Ah want ta ask you somethin’, and Ah want you to look at me in the eye while sayin’ it.”
He did, “A-And what’s that?”
Ah smirked, “Did Y'all ever look at ma flank when Ah wasn’t lookin’?”
His eyes widen and his enter head turns bright red, “MAC! I… Oh Celestia, do I really have to?” Ah nodded, “W-Well… n-not all the time. Not that you look good or- no wait I didn’t mean like that I-” he buried his face in his hooves like an Ostrich that realized it was naked. “Maybe once or twice,” he muttered.
Ah laughed as I slapped him on the back, “Hey, Ah’m jus’ teasin’ ya.”
“That was embarrassing! You don’t just ask somepony anything like that.”
“Still, it was just a bit of teasin’. Guess Ah’m still honored though, so good lookin’ that even stallions swoon over.”
He shook his head, “But it shouldn’t be all about looks. I mean, they help, sure, but it shouldn’t be why anyone would fall for you.”
“Ah suppose yer right,” Ah said before taking another bite of the sandwich.
“Do you ever feel a bit jealous of Applejack,” Mel suddenly asked, “I mean, with what you did at the sociable, was all of that cross-dressing all over because of Applejack?”
Ah sighed, “Kinda. It gets frustrating that here Ah am doin’ all of this work, yet she and probably Applebloom to an extent has a better life then what Ah have. Sometimes…” no, stop right now, he wouldn’t want to-
“Sometimes, what?” he asks.
“It’s… Just forget it,” but his look sharpened.
“Mac, tell me. It isn’t fair that I had spilled my heart out to you to express what I feel. Please, go ahead, I promise that I will listen to every word you have to say.”
Ah looked around the trees, even though Ah know we’re all alone, Ah still don’t want to risk anypony hearing me. “Promise you wouldn’t tell anyone?”
He smiled, “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
The Pinkie Promise… well, I guess it’s safe. “Well, sometimes… Ah just feel like Ah’m nothin’, ya know? When no matter how much work you put in, no matter what you’d come up with ta make someone happy, or even if somepony asked ya to do somethin’, Ah struggle ta see what the point of it all is. Ah work from the crack of dawn to the setting dusk, yet nothin’ Ah do compares to what my sisters have done. Savin’ a country? How am Ah supposed to compete with that? Who in their right mind would want ta remember a nopony?”
Ah fought the urge to cry. No, not in front of him, especially not when Caramel was watchin’.
Then, Ah felt his hoof on my shoulder, “As overdone as this is going to sound, I mean every word of it. You may be nothing to everypony, but to this one pony, you are everything Mac. So what your sisters have interesting lives than you? You have a pearl of quiet wisdom that I envy of having, with the strength to harvest a titanic orchard in a few days, and you being so open-minded to somepony like me. I don’t care that you’re not a hero to Equestria, nor do I care that you’re just a farmer. To me, you will always be more than that. You in my eyes are an unappreciated god that I’m willing to worship in all of your simplicity. Don’t let anypony, least of all you; think that you’re anything less of anyone’s attention, especially mine.”
Wow. So this is what he really thinks of me?
“Y’all really mean that?”
He nodded, “I told you, I love you, Mac, even when you won’t feel the same way.”
“But Mel, this ain’t fair ta ya at all. Ah know that but Ah jus’ don’t know what else to do.”
“You don’t have to,” this caught me by surprise. “Straight or not, you promised me a little happiness with this date. As kind as that is, I realize that it isn’t really needed. Just being with ya, be it helping with your chores or you in my workshop, or even just eating together is all I need. Realize that I didn’t fall in love with you because of your looks alone, but because that you’re… well, you. And the fact that this is my first real date, I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else except for a certain red Apple.”
Ah blinked, “Ah never thought you’d be the romantic type.”
Mel chuckled, “Guess it’s something that I’ve wanted for so long to do and say that it came naturally to me. More pie?”
Nodding, Ah accepted the extra slice onto a plate. “But it does bring somethin’ up. How am Ah bein’ yer date? Ah haven’t done much.”
“No, this has been good,” he told me as he got a slice himself. “I got to know you a little better after all.”
“Ah suppose,” Ah said with a shrug before eating, “Although, after all of this is done and over with, where do we go from here?”
Mel paused for a moment. “Go for whatever is comfortable to you since I don’t ever want to pressure you into anything you don’t want to. As of now, if you still wanted to continue to be my best friend, I’d be grateful for what you’ve done for me today. But if you for some reason want to be my special somepony, oh what joy it would be for me for that to become real. Yet, as long as I get the chance to be by your side, I’m happy all the same.”
“Thank you, Mel. Ah’m kinda wonderin’,” Ah said after taking a bite of the pie. “As much as Ah appreciate Y'all doin’ this fer me, Ah honestly don’t see this workin’ out like lovers. Forgive me Mel, but Ah just can’t picture us like this. All except as the best friend that Ah’ve always known and Ah don’t wanna lose that. Please don’t get upset with me, but Ah's sure that you’ll run into someone that you’d like.”
He raised an eyebrow, “Like who? Except for you, name one pony that will be crazy enough to go out with me.”
“Well…” my mind went completely blank. Come to think of it, Ah can’t name any other gay stallion that he would like. Heck, Mel’s the only stallion Ah know that prefers to us guys. The only one Ah could think of at the moment is Braeburn, but Ah’m not entirely sure of him sure since Ah would be goin’ off from rumors that may turn out to be wrong.
Mel sighed, “That’s what I thought. But it’s alright now. It may take me some time to adjust to what just happened. Yet, overall, I want to thank you, Mac, for your selflessness. But more importantly, to thank you for giving me the chance to show you how much you mean to me.”
Ah smiled, “Yer quite welcome Mel. Anythin’ ta make y’all happy.”
_*_
By the time Ah got back home, the sun was startin’ to set when Ah walked through the front door. Not only is Mel been given closer, but our relationship was still intact. Although, there was one thing that was botherin’ me, and it’s that him bein’ left empty hoofed. It’s like Ah cheated him out on something that Ah couldn’t provide.
“Hey’ya Mac,” AJ was the first ta greet me, “Had a good night?”
“Eeyup.”
“What did ya and Caramel do this time?”
“Dinner.”
“Ah, that was mighty nice of ‘em,” she commented as Ah made my way up to my room. “Which reminds me, Granny said you can invite him for dinner next week since Cousin Brae’s commin’.”
With her announcement still fresh in mah head when Ah closed the door and flopped onto the bed, an interesting idea formed in mah skull. Although Ah needed to talk with my cousin face to face to confirm this, it may give Mel the special somepony that he deserves. After all, Ah did say that Ah would lend a helpin’ hoof ta make him happy, so might as well give it a try.
