Equestria Noir Side Story "Welcome to Ponyville"
Equestria Noir
Side Story
“Welcome to Ponyville”
By Jacoboby1
Perspective: Evenstar
I always liked the sun. I know, strange for a batpony to say such a thing since most of us are nocturnal by nature. But, I always liked the idea of something big and warm looking over our home. You rarely see it in the city, if it isn’t blazing down at you it’s being blocked by this or that skyscraper. Not so here, here in this town called Ponyville, the sun is front and center, always bright, always there in your life...not unlike it’s people.
I stretched out on the warm, cozy bed that Twilight and Private gave me, and looked around the small spare room they gave me. Honestly, it’s good to have a roof over my head that doesn’t leak every time it rains. I didn’t bring a lot from Manehatten...just some baubles and trinkets I happened to like. So, my room was relatively uncluttered, something that Twilight seemed to enjoy.
I had only been in Ponyville for about two days, spent most of it sleeping honestly. Having an actual bed helps matters in that department.
I slowly got up, and spread my large leathery wings, and stretched myself. That was a good sleep, the best I had in awhile. I saw some sunlight peek out from the covered windows that dotted my room, must be at least morning. Ah well, some fresh air couldn’t hurt…
I reached into my drawer and pulled out my day goggles, these things were designed to make sure my light sensitive eyes didn’t immediately go blind when I take a step outside. Handy for a batpony who wanted to operate when Luna or Celestia was up.
I slipped them on, and stepped out of my room into the main library itself. It didn’t look like any other library I’ve ever been in. The school library was… less quaint. But then it was a large room inside a larger building. Not situated inside a hollowed out tree. Books were aligned with fanatical order upon the shelves, and the central table with the horse head was there, of course. It was also squeaky clean. The library at the school often had little bits of trash here and there, and lewd messages carved on the tables.
Another door opened and out stepped my, technical roommate, Spike. I’ll admit it was weird seeing the baby dragon for the first time. Most of the dragons I encountered had been in textbooks of some kind. None of them were short, purple and, well, bipedal.
“Well, you certainly are better than my last roommate,” Spike said, going to place a comic book on one of the tables. “Trixie would sometimes snore so loudly I’d swear the tree was shaking.”
“I still can’t believe you have this place all to yourself,” I said, looking around the library.
“Yeah, well somebody has to look after it after Twilight moved to the love nest.” He said with a little laugh. “Nobody but me and Owloylicious here.”
The aforementioned Owl hooted in response.
“So, are you finally going to go out into the jungle?” Spike asked.
“Jungle?” I asked in turn.
“Ponyville,” Spike then blinked and looked up at me. “You’ve been here for two days and haven’t seen Ponyville first hoof? Boy are you in for a treat.”
“It can’t be that bizarre...can it?” I asked, nervously.
Spike laughed, “Famous last words Even. Between Pinkie, Discord, Lyra and who knows what else. You’re going to have a pretty interesting time.”
I gulped, and nervously looked at the door. “Well, here goes something.”
Spike smirked, walking up to me. “Uh uh, allow me to give you the proper Ponyville experience, one experienced by Twilight Sparkle herself!”
“What do you mean?” I asked as we walked towards the door.
“Observe,” He said, suddenly opening the door to the outside...and kicking me out into it.
I groaned as I hit the grass. That rotten little dragon...I may just mix our breakfasts one day..see how he likes cockroaches...I looked up…
There before me was the quaint little town I had seen that one night before me in its daylight glory. Plastered houses with thatched roofs, and dirt streets going every-which-way, and ponies of all three tribes trotting or flying about. Directly in front of me was a busy market square with stands selling all manner of things. Then there was a trio of ponies fainting in unison over a broken stem on a zinnia. What?
Well, may want to get some air at least, so that I’m not totally into crowds…
I spread my wings and took the sk-
CRASH!
I rubbed my head and groaned as I saw...Rainbow Dash glaring at me.
“Hey watch where you’re going batboy! I gotta practice my moves for the Equestria Games!” She yelled, then took off into the clouds.
Huh, she seemed, shorter than in the papers. And a lot more cranky…
“Don’ mind that there featherbrain. She can get a little too focused on her practicin’ ta remember her manners,” came an accented voice from nearby. “Why don’ cha come over here a spell? Ah got just tha thing fer a growin’ colt.”
I’m not a little colt…
I looked down and saw, yeah that’s Applejack. Hat gave it away. She was in front of what looks like a small market stand, selling, you guessed it, apples. She was looking up at me expectantly, a cheerful smile on her face. Apparently she doesn’t mind meeting new ponies.
“Can I...help you…?” I asked, a little nervously as I fluttered down to her.
“Ah was ‘bout ta ask you tha same thing, youngan,” AJ said, handing me a couple of fritters and a bottle of Apple Juice. “But ya didn’t look like you’ve had breakfast, what with Spike tossin’ ya out like that.”
“Said I had to have the, ‘Ponyville Experience’.” I said, glaring for a moment back at the library. But, I was polite enough to actually take a bite at the food offered. You learn quickly on the streets to take what you can get...and...and….
This is…
AMAAAAAAZZIIING!!!
I bit into the fritter and it was like I was tasting pure heaven! I have never eaten such wonder! Such beauty! Forget a party in my mouth or some other cliche, my mouth was marrying this fritter! It was declaring it’s undying love for such gorgeous food!! HALLELUJAH!!! Applejack just looked amused.
I...may or may not have considered buying all the treats...for a moment…
“Ah’m glad ya like ‘em. That’s an old Apple Family recipe,” she said with a smile. “So… Tha Ponyville Experience, huh? Heh. Yeah. Best ta just dive on in. Like rippin’ off a band-aid.”
“Well, at least I know I won’t starve anytime soon,” I said, and saw Aj putting some more treats in a bag. “Wait, I didn’t pay you…”
“Consider it a ‘welcome to Ponyville’ present, sugarcube. Ah’ve got a few too many ta be brutally honest.”
“You’re just, giving them to me?” I said, genuinely shocked.
“Yeah… Manehatten ain’t known fer it’s Generosity, ain’t it? Even after Rarity came in and showed ‘em it’s better ta be generous than’ selfish,” Applejack said with a shake of her head.
“Tha-thank you.” I said, taking the bag of treats and trying not to reel at what just happened. She was right of course, Manehatten was hardly a generous place at all...lots of crowds, all looking away from people in need of help..it was really da-
CRASH!
AGAIN!?
I looked up, into a pair of big blue eyes. They were attached to a pink earth pony, who I knew I’d have to face eventually..and yet no amount of warning could’ve prepared me for my first...Pinkie moment.
“Oh….my...GOSH! You’re that new batpony who came by two days ago! The one who’s working with Private now! That’s amazing! We used to only have one batpony before, but now we got two! And from the looks of it you’re much older too! Betcha Earshot’s gonna love ya! Check that, everypony should love ya because everypony in town should be friends! Friends keep you all happy and gushy inside! Like a cherrychanga! Gosh I’m so glad I finally decided! Oh wait is that the time!? I gotta go! I’m practicing for the Turkey Gobbling contest! There’s no way Big Mac is gonna beat me this year! CIAO!”
And with that..she zoomed off, leaving me oh so very confused...
From nearby came a long-suffering sigh, and a grumble about Pinkie being a little too Pinkie, today. I looked to find a mulberry coated mare, with two-tone pink mane and tail, and a cutiemark of gleefully smiling daisies.
“I can imagine Pinkie is a lot to handle when you first meet her.” She said to me with a kind smile. “You must be the newest addition to Ponyville.”
“Yeah, name’s Evenstar,” I said, dismissively, about to walk away.
“Hold on, aren’t you the colt that Private brought from Manehatten?” She asked.
“Well, yeah.” Guess word must travel fast.
“I’m Cheerilee,” She said, introducing herself. “I’m the teacher at the elementary school here.”
“I’m a little old for that Miss Cheerilee.” I said, trying not to sound too snarky.
“You’re never too old for an education. Has Private set you up at our high school yet?” She asked.
“I, didn’t really get around to that. Private and I have been busy getting me settled in.” I confessed. “Besides, I kind of sort of, dropped out of my old school.”
Cheerilee sighed, “Even still, you should try to at least check it out. Ours is much smaller than those up in the big city. At the very least would you consider meeting with a tutor?”
“A tutor? Seriously?” I asked. “That’s a nice offer but-”
“Oh don’t be so dismissive, the tutor I’m about to suggest is your age and very kind. She’ll help you at least catch up while you’re off doing who knows what with Private,” Cheerilee said earnestly.
“So, who’s the tutor?” I asked.
_________________________________________________
Okay, Even, you can do this. You faced off against street punks, a crazy guidance counselor and who knows what back in the city. You can handle this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking a….gorgeous pink unicorn with glistening purple hair and… NOO! NO Bad Even none of those crazy thoughts!
I shook my head and looked up at the modest home of the Doo family. It was a typical two-storey house in Ponyville, with a thatched roof, stuccoed walls, and timbered adornments that divided the expanse of cream into orderly segments, highlighting corners, and windows. All in all much more… quaint and kind of homey, compared to the stiff, cold brownstones of Manehatten. Sure the interiors could be cosy, if they’re intact, and kept-up, but the façade they present is cold respectability… Or faded respectability in my old neighborhood.
I stood nervously at the front door, what the hell was I supposed to say? Uh, hey Sparkler how’s it going? No that’s dumb! Hey babe, wanna help me ride the way to the top? That makes me sound like a douchebag! Her Sparkler I-
“Hey Even!”
I froze, and slowly looked up at the second story window, my eyes grew wide under my goggles, there she stood. Pink coat, so soft and glossy, that shimmering two-tone purple mane, those bright and inquisitive lavender eyes. That’s Sparkler, the most beautiful mare I’ve ever seen.
She grinned, gesturing to me. “So are you going to just stand there all day or come up? Don’t worry the roof over here is pretty stable, good enough to sit on.” She said, gosh her smile was-
I shook my head to get out of the stupor and flapped up onto the roof, sitting in front of the window she was hanging out of. “You, remember my name?” I asked, nervously.
“Course, kinda our thing in Ponyville to know everypony’s names,” Sparkler said with a small laugh. “Sorry we didn’t really talk much, been busy with foalsitting and whatnot, gotta earn money somehow.”
“Right,” I said, gulping a little.
She looked at me with a touch of concern “What’s wrong? Bugbear got your tongue?” She asked.
“Sorry it’s just, I didn’t…” I sighed, “I didn’t talk to, girls like you back home.”
“Oooh,” She said, and then looked where I know everybody looks eventually...the wings, the ears...the eyes. “Let me guess, nobody was a huge fan of batponies up there huh?”
“You could say that.” I said with a sigh.
“Well, screw them then,” She said, smiling.
“What?!” I said, not expecting so blunt a response.
“Even, I live in a town with a changeling, a baby dragon, a Pinkie Pie and not to mention a god of chaos. So you could say I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” Sparkler said, with a tender smile. “Besides, you got at least one friend here don’tcha?”
“Well, there’s Private but, he’s more mentor than…” I began.
“Not him, I’m talking about me,” She said.
“You...and me...friends…?” I said, my cheeks flushing.
“Well, yeah. I figure you need somepony to hang out with who’s mildly normal. Somebody you can talk to about any crazy stuff going on. Isn’t that what friends are for?” She said.
“You’re starting to sound a lot like Private’s wife,” I pointed out.
“Who do you think was the organizer until she came along?” She said with a laugh. “All seriousness Even, if you need anything I’m here.”
“Well, I was hoping for a...tutor…” I said, rubbing my mane nervously.
She smiled. “Great! How about next week? It’s a date.”
Date…?
“Even? Even? Oh great he just fell off the roof. I don’t know what makes it so hard for that colt to talk to me. He keeps this fainting up and he’ll never be able to handle the first monster attack.”
________________________________________________
I woke up in the office, Private looking over at me from the desk. “Sparkler brought you here, said you fell off her roof.”
I groaned, rubbing my head. “I, may have, been overwhelmed by Ponyville. And some other things.”
“So, planning on going around tomorrow?” He asked, smirking. “I was thinking of having you meet Swarm, maybe Vinyl and who knows maybe you’ll catch Potso.”
“Uuuugggghhh…” I moaned, falling back on the couch.
“Yeah, that was my first reaction to Ponyville, Even,” Private said with a laugh. “Be thankful you didn’t come around on Tuesday. That’s usually when the friendship problems come up. But don’t worry, it’ll solve itself in about an hour or so.”
“How do you know…?” I asked.
“With Ponyville, it’s best just to go with things.”