The Changeling Attack

by AnonymousAlicorn

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Berry Punch, DJ P0N-3, Changelings, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1527

Changelings attacked Canterlot, we all know this. What happened with Berry Punch during the invasion, exactly? She was drunk off her ass, and looking for a fight. Perfect timing, wouldn't ya say?

Berry Punch is not only a bar tender, she's also a notorious drunk. She was having a bad day, so got drunk off her ass at noon, when the changelings attacked Canterlot. She was normally a nice drunk, but today was an exception. Seeing her bar trashed by changelings, she takes it upon herself to start a bar fight with the poor, stupid things. did I mention, she has never lost a drunken fight, and she's gotten drunk in the royal wine cellar before. The most Royal Guards to ever be in a hospital at once, aside from wars. Vinyl's also drunk, mad about the changelings breaking her stuff, and ready to fight because why not?

Published 2015-10-09 01:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-09 01:50:02 UTC

The Changeling Attack

The 12:00 just passed, and Berry Punch was going to buy the first drink of the night, from her own bar of course. It was better for sales when the customers could drink with the owner. DJ-P0N-3, the usual dj, was always the next on weekdays, and it was Friday. On weekdays, she could just put a playlist on random, and have fun, as it was only the hardcore clubbers then. They each got a first free Applejack Daniels bottle, toasted, and chugged. They kept the pace of a bottle every 15 seconds for at least 2 minutes, 8 bottles, then stopped. They were drunk enough to only remember to drink more than a swig from time to time in just a moment, as it caught up.

"Here we goooooo-" Berry brutally slurred her words as she trailed off. She received half a nod from Vinyl, who just put her head down and not back up. The doors burst open, the sound of chaos leaking inside. A 4 changelings ran in, and 2 of them went after the 2 drunken mares. The other two began smashing up the place.

The white mare began her protest to the destruction of her setup. "H*hic*heeey! That's my dj- uh, stuff!" She began staggering towards them, but was halted with a punch to the side of the face. Amazingly, she didn't topple over. The punch broke her shades, as well as launch them across the room, however. She slowly swung her head loosely around to meet the blue gaze, staring drunken shattered glass with her crimson red eyes. As she was doing this, her hoof was connecting with the changeling jaw. The changeling was flung onto its back, while the other came running at her from behind. Berry punch threw an empty bottle, and smashed it square on the back of the changeling's head. The other two were surprised at this turn of events, and rushed over. The first changeling was getting back up as well, but the second was out cold.

Berry was now rushing over, barely on her hooves, and she slipped on the broken glass anticlimactically. However, she twisted in what seemed like a drunken senseless movement, but it brought one changelings out from underneath it. Surprised, it fell and scraped its face on the broken glass. While it was writhing in pain, Vinyl jumped at the other one, tackling it to the ground. These two were actually way better fighters when drunk, apparently. Berry had somehow gotten off the glass unscathed. The pair went back to the counter, finished their drinks, and 6 more came in.

Vinyl flipped a table at them with her magic. Berry Punch staggered towards the entrance, and was charged at. Vinyl had jumped and landed on her back, and bucked one of the jumping changelings into the roof while Berry slammed her hoof into a face and sending that changeling tumbling to the side. Berry Punch could really punch, surprising she didn't have a Boxing cutie mark. The descending changeling was then bucked across the room, as Vinyl rolled off Berry via head and into crowd of merciless bloodthirsty monsters. She was slammed into the ground, and broke a leg of a changeling who kicked her while she was down. Another jumped on her, and was flipped into another one. Berry threw another mighty punch, and broke a few teeth out of one of the remaining 2, now 1. The other 2 who were on the ground on top of eachother were now being confronted by the drunken Dj who flipped them like that. They shared a quick glance, and one of them ran outside. The remaining 3 were now regrouping, biding their time.

Vinyl was still kinda pissed. "Wha-*hic" What's wroooong, huh? you scurrrr-" Vinyl faded out as at least 10 changelings were flooding in. "Oooooooh, you wanna go tooooooo?" She actually chuckled in the face of what might be death. They were all pissed when they saw the various unconscious and writhing changelings around. Vinyl and Berry slowly backed there way to the center of the tavern, with much drunken uncoordinated clumsiness. They were now being circled by an increasing mob of pissy changelings.

"O-okay, I ha-*hic*have a plan. Take this banana," She pulled a banana from Celestia knows where, and gave it to Vinyl. "And do the thing." Vinyl nodded, and pointed the banana at the changelings like a crossbow. They shied away from the aim, cautious of it for no apparent reason. The only thing going on in Vinyl's mind, was make a scene.

"Yooooou aaaallll. Ya know what*hic*? Buuuck yoooooou." She took the banana, and stuck it down her throat to the point her gag reflexes made her puke. She did this on purpose, and aimed it into a changelings face successful. They were all shocked, as Berry stumbled towards the counter. They snapped awake awake at that, aside from the changeling with puke all over it's face. Vinyl burst out laughing, somehow slurring the laugh. It was incredible she was still conscious, and even more so she was still alive.

Berry awoke everyone with a loud crack in a changing jaw that was blocking her from the counter. She then dived for the safety of the counter, pulling out a wooden club. Something clicked in Vinyl's mind, and she magicked a chair over to her. As half of the changelings were going after Berry, she had some room to work. They wouldn't be able to do the overwhelming technique. She spun on her hind legs, holding the chair in front of her, and smashed it on the nearest changeling face. It launched the poor thing through the door comically. She had the stupidest grin on her face as she dived for a metal stool, and landed chest first on it.

Berry meanwhile broke a skull with a powerful hit, and was just swinging on another challenger. She was the queen of the counter, and no one else was allowed up. The other changeling had its jaw broken, and was now writhing in pain on the floor. Another changed into Vinyl, and failed miserably when it had it's shoulder pounded into shards. She had enough sense to know Vinyl would never, ever challenge her for queen of the counter, as she would never challenge her to queen of the turntables. She was that in multiple senses, and would never give it up for anything.

Vinyl just impaled a changeling with the legs of a metal stool. This was getting fun. She ran over to the pool table, and grabbed every pool Que she could and set them on the table. A changeling launched itself at her, and she swung a Que. Direct hit, but she was still now on the ground with an unconscious changeling on her. She shoved it off, and felt a stomp in her chest. She bucked, and hit another changeling between the legs. He was now on the ground, crying. That's gotta hurt. She rolled over to the hooves of another, and pulled it down to her level. She put a hind hoof around one of it's, and broke it. 2 broken legs so far. Her record for a drunk fight was 7.

The remaining few changelings ran out of the bar, except for two that hadn't been there before. These ones was bigger, and had blue eyes instead of green. They also had robes? This would be fun. The two shrugged off said robes dramatically.

"You *hic*toooo?" She took a nearly fall as she stumbled to the left of s lunge from the left one, as the right one ran to the counter. He got his skull caved in by a bat as Vinyl grabbed the base of a punching changeling hoof, and punched back. She hit the head, then elbowed it. She received a weakened blow to her chest, as the changeling stumbled back more in surprise than anything. The shock clearing his face, he charged into a table that was behind Vinyl an instant ago. She turned to buck the changeling, and met the same table. She turned to just barely reverse a tackle attempt and wind up on top. From there, she repeatedly punched him in the face. This went for 4 punches, and she was thrown off as he lifted himself in a sort of back flip onto his forehooves, then all 4. He spat green blood, and readied for another attack. This time, he approached slowly with caution, and swung with a passion. She barely managed to dodge, or stumble backwards, and forwards to give a similar swing right to the face once again. She broke a jaw this time, as it made a loud crack as he fell to the ground, joining the rest who were writhing in pain on the ground. She looked over to see Berry kicking what might either a corpse of or coma-induced large changeling. Completely ignoring the giant pink flash that sent the changelings flying through the walls and making the holes, she challenged Berry to a drinkoff.

"I be, I co*hic*could, drink you, under the taaaaaaaaaaable."