Suspense was, according to the dictionary, "a state or feeling of excited or anxious uncertainty about what may happen".
The thing about that, Twilight knew, was that it was the excitedness and anxiousness that words could not define. Minutes felt like hours, and it was as if you could feel every drop of sweat course down your body. She wasn't nervous; she was in suspense, and the thought of Sunset Shimmer opening the door to her apartment terrified her.
So, naturally, she did.
Sunset wore a smile when she opened the door, but upon seeing the Princess of Friendship standing at her doorstep, her countenance quickly changed to one of confusion.
"Twilight...um, sorry, I really wasn't expecting visitors. Uh, hold on just a sec..." Sunset promptly ran back into her house, and after a few various cluttering noises, trotted back to the door.
"Come in, please. I have some snacks and stuff if you're hungry," she said. Twilight didn't respond, instead giving a curt nod and following Sunset into her apartment. She had only just gotten it a few days ago, as she had just made her permanent return to Equestria. It looked very old and run down when she moved in, but Twilight could see that Sunset had drastically improved it. The walls had been repainted a very nice beige, and she had installed a carpet to match over the old wooden floor previously installed. She bought new furniture, too, it seemed, and while they didn't look at all expensive, they fit in quite nicely with the quaint abode.
"I love what you've done here, Sunset. It looks nice," remarked Twilight. Sunset chuckled as she sat down on the couch in the center of her living room. On the coffee table was an unfinished game of Solitaire, and what looked to be a half empty glass of red wine.
"Thanks. I still don't have a bed yet, but the couch will do until next month," replied Sunset. Based on her voice, Twilight could tell she was quite content with what she was doing to the place, and that thought alone caused a smile to creep along her face.
"Do you have a job, Sunset? How are you adjusting?" asked Twilight. Sunset leaned back on the couch just a bit more as she began to speak.
"Yep, as a clerk at the local market. Celestia told me I could get a job at her court, but...I don't want to just yet. I don't want to be given everything when I come back, ya know? I'll eventually accept, of course, but for now...I just want to know the community again. I wanna live as a pony. I wanna start everything from scratch, as cliché as that sounds." she levitated her wine glass to her mouth and took another sip. "But enough with the small talk, Twi. You have a problem. Spit it out."
Twilight recalled what Princess Celestia had once said about Shimmer. "That mare has a sixth sense, I swear. Her intuition is what made me choose her, actually; she could always tell when something was bothering you, always tell when you'd be disappointed, always tell when she made you happy. I don't know how she does it, but you'll just meet her for the first time, and it's like she's known you all her life." As a result, Twilight had been prepared for her to instantly guess her plight, and Sunset had not been a disappointment.
"Yea, you got me. Listen...I met with Moondancer, and old friend of mine. We went out to lunch together, and before we knew it, we were talking about the past, and she brought up something I did to her right before I left Canterlot. Nothing big, I just didn't show up at a party, but...I said something mean. Really mean, actually, and then she stormed out and I tried to follow her. I've been writing her letters, but she doesn't read them. She won't meet with me again. And...you, Sunset, everyone forgave you for what you did. I want to know how to make her forgive me, because...I don't know what to say."
Sunset was silent for a few minutes. Twilight was in suspense again; had she offended her? Would she be kicked out of here, too? Suddenly, she slowly levitated her wine glass back to her coffee table, and let it down so softly that Twilight could barely hear it hit the wood.
"You know, Twilight," she began. "I haven't just said one really mean thing. I've said a thousand. I've been doing my best to make up for every single stupid utterance I've ever said, and some of them still haunt me. And during my time with Celestia, I said some things that would make you cringe. I'm the mare who sold the world. Every time I look at you, Twilight, I immediately think to myself, "that could have been me." Twilight tried to butt in and say something, but Shimmer closed her eyes and waved a hoof, making it clear she did not want to be interrupted.
"And I ain't just talkin' 'bout the wings," she began. "You're the sweetest mare I know, Twilight, really. You always work hard to get what you want, you're inquisitive, you're a genius, you care so much about others--I could have been like that. But I wasn't. I was cruel, inhospitable, and I only thought about myself, and you know what? Looking back, I just don't know why. So I went to go see my mother when I first came back.
"She's older than she should be, since I never really aged back in the human world, but that didn't matter; Starlight Shimmer is still the best mom a mare could ask for. I wanted to know if I ever exhibited any of this behavior as a child, and she said I never did; that I was super nice, I cared about my friends, and that I was always looking to help. And then I got it, Twi," she said.
"Got what?" asked Twilight. Twilight found herself a little more immersed in her story than she thought she'd be, but she was still waiting to get the advice she had been seeking when she came.
"I just had to be myself. So I went to every person I'd wronged, human and pony, I was just being myself. I said everything that my gut told me to, and I'm so thankful that they were able to accept my apologies. So here's the ticket, Twilight Sparkle--just be yourself. Be the sweet, loving, caring mare I absolutely know you are, and I have absolute certainty that Moondancer will accept you. If you really feel bad about what you did, then you shouldn't worry. You do you." Sunset took another sip of her wine before leaning over and flipping another card on her game of Solitare.
"I...thank you, Sunset. I'll-" Twilight never got a chance to finish.
"No no no, I ain't done yet. Remember that time when I transformed into a powerful demon fueled by hate and attempted to enslave an entire populace and use them as my mindless drones in order to launch a full scale invasion on Equestria?" Twilight nodded, and couldn't help chuckling at Sunset's description. Sunset cracked a smile with her.
"Well, when that was all over, I asked for forgiveness, and you gave it to me. After all the destruction and hate you'd seen me cause, you forgave me. Why?"
Twilight sunk deeper into the couch, and began cycling through her mind for an answer. Why did she forgive Sunset? She was a notorious liar, and a master manipulator at the time of the incident; who was to say she wouldn't just take advantage of our forgiveness? But of course not; there was one thing Twilight saw in Sunset Shimmer that day that allowed her to rest easy knowing that she had really felt bad about what she had done.
"Your eyes," she began. "I just knew that you couldn't have been lying. When you looked around, and you saw the wreckage and ruin...you were sorry. That seems lame, I know, but that was how I knew. So maybe...if I really present myself as if I care--and I really do--then she'll definitely forgive me, right?" When Twilight looked over to Sunset, she did not see her paying attention.
She was wide eyed, seemingly staring into a void that only she could see. Her posture hadn't changed, and she was still levitating a playing card in the air with her magic. It was quite obvious that Sunset was thinking back on the incident at Canterlot High.
One moment, Sunset Shimmer had been staring into nothing, remembering ever vile act she had committed during her tenure at Canterlot High. The next, she found herself wrapped in a very one-sided hug from an all powerful immortal superbeing. Twilight had sat down and embraced her, and Shimmer's playing card had dropped to the floor from the sudden interruption; she didn't particularly care at the moment, however; it was just a card.
"Thank you," Twilight said again. Shimmer smiled once again.
"No problem, Twilight. You're a friend," replied Shimmer. At those words, Twilight got up from the couch and slowly began to make her way towards the door.
"Well, it's getting dark out. I'll go and talk to her in person tomorrow; again, Sunset, I can't thank you enough. I'll have to visit you a little more often now that you're back, huh?" Twilight asked. Sunset merely shook her head at the question.
"Please don't. Not until I got everything ready," she replied, which caused them both to laugh. Saying her goodbyes, Twilight Sparkle left the apartment.
Sighing, Sunset walked over to her kitchen, drawing herself another glass of wine. She looked over to her game of Solitaire, which was nowhere near finished, and then to her humble apartment, which coincidentally also was not finished. She stood there for a moment, and then turned around, looking at everything she had accomplished in the last few months.
Forgiveness, thought Sunset, the virtue of the brave. If Twilight was brave enough to forgive me, then she's certainly brave enough to talk to this Moondancer...I need to see Tia again.
Sunset walked through her apartment, turning out the lights, and finally settled down on her couch, maneuvering herself into a sleeping position. She had work first thing in the morning tomorrow, so a getting a good night's sleep was an absolute.
Knowing she'd helped out a friend, she had a feeling she would.
