Quest for the Music

by Artie Smartie

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Equestria Girls
Length: 8544

Lemon Zest loses her headphones.

Lemon Zest has always loved hearing music with her sweet headphones. So what happens when she loses said headphones? A zany adventure, of course!

Set in EQG Universe.

-Artie Smartie

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-12 16:02:12 UTC

A Big Loss

Had she known what she would've inevitably had to go through, Lemon would've listened to her worst nightmare.

But alas, Lemon Zest woke up that morning to boring, classical music.

Tchiakovsky.

Mozart.

Beethoven.

Euch. How bad can you get?

She slowly opened her eyes, and smiled. Time to put on a better beat!

Instantly, Lemon stood up onto her bed, and immediately began air guitarring to the sweet rock beat playing in her head. Her red two-piece pajamas, with music notes sprawled all over, swished around as she bounced on the bed and "played" her sweet rhythm.

Then, the song ended. Lemon stopped playing, and sighed in relief. Thank goodness that's over!

Now it's time for me to get my morning groove on!

Immediately, she jumped off her bed, unbuttoning her pajama shirt and slipping off her pants, and hopped into her bathroom tub, throwing off her undergarments faster than Speedy Gonzales. As she showered, she sang, in a heavy-metal sort of tone:

Singing in the shower,

Gimme the power!

It's Saturday, and it's the hour,

To get up, get down, and sing in the shower!

She then turned off the shower, and dried herself off quick as a whip. She went to her dresser, and quickly threw on her undergarments,  an orange V-neck T-shirt, and white shorts. She looked at herself in the mirror.

With guilty pleasure, she struck a high-fashion pouty-face pose

She looked gooooood.

Then, she hightailed it to the stairway, riding down the handrail like Fred Flintstone on a dinosaur. She slid into the kitchen, grabbing a bowl and her favorite cereal from the cabinet, and poured herself a bowl. As she poured, she sang some more, this time in a rap style:

Some cereal, yeah, some cereal,

It's nothing serial, just some cereal!

Gonna have it now, have it here-eal!

She continued to beatbox this tune as she crunched down her cereal. Her tune fell on deaf ears, given her parents were already at work, the workpeople they were. Lucky for me, cause I get the day off today! A whole day to listen to some sweet tones on my phones!

By "phones," of course, she meant her headphones. She had gotten them as a birthday gift when she was eight, and ever since, she has listened to some of Canterlot's greatest songs with them. It would be especially nice to have some sweet music time today, too, after that fiasco with the Friendship Games. Boy, was that tiring!

This thought in mind, she washed her bowl, and rushed back up the stairs to her room. As she went up, she continued her beatboxing rap:

My headphones, yes, my headphones!

Gonna listen to some tunes and tones!

They gonna chill me to the bones.

Oh, yeeaah, gonna get my headphones!

She had reached the door to her bedroom, her head still in rap-mode, as she reached towards her bedside table for her headphones.

However, her fingers only felt hard, polished wood. Confused, she looked towards where her hand was, and gasped.

Her headphones were gone!

Lemon started to hyperventilate. Without her headphones, she couldn't listen to any of her songs! None of the songs she really, really liked played on her radio. The only thing that did play was classical music from the stone age. She didn't hate old-timey music, per se, she liked all kinds of music. However, classical was one of her least favorites.

Lemon checked all over her room. In her dresser, all she found were socks, shirts, and pants, but no headphones. On her shelf, her music catalogues and magazines were stacked in nice rows, but no cigar with the phones.

She then tried her backpack. No luck there. Just homework. A LOT of homework. Lemon reminded herself to get to that before the weekend was over.

Lemon then sighed, and plopped onto her bed. Wherever her phones were, they weren't in here. She groaned again, and lay down on the bed.

Her eyebrows then tightened down. Can't give up just like that! She glanced at her shelf containing her self-written music. It's like songwriting: stop doing the work, and you don't get a song! She sat right back up again. I just gotta face the music. I have to try harder!

She then glanced at her backpack again, contemplating whether or not she looked inside all the pockets. Suddenly, a memory came back into Lemon's mind;

It was just a day after Twilight Sparkle, the lone, smart girl of Crystal Prep, went all she-demon and nearly destroyed the school, not to mention the human world. Lemon and her friends, including the team leader, bipolar Sour Sweet, competitive Indigo Zap, and fashionable Sunny Flare, were helping clean up at Canterlot with its students.

Everyone was having a good time, truly symbolizing what the Friendship Games were supposed to be about.

At one corner of the front grounds of the school, Sour Sweet was picking up rubble with litter-picking sticks and trash bags. Pinkie Pie, Canterlot High's party student and friend to all, was picking up rubble alongside her, bouncing along like a jackrabbit. Sour Sweet acted annoyed as Pinkie talked to her, jumping around picking up litter, but secretly giggled at the pink-skinned girl's antics.

At the back of the school, several students were helping to make the back grounds look good, too. Sunny Flare and Rarity were tending to the flowers, smelling them with delight but grossing out at the sight of the mud. Applejack, Canterlot cowgirl, and Sugar Coat, Crystal Prep's honest girl (a bit too honest, to some people), were picking up fallen branches. Indigo Zap and Rainbow Dash, Canterlot's sports girl and leader of the Rainbooms band, were racing with lawnmowers, cutting the grass as they raced.

Lemon, on the other hand, was raking leaves on the left side of the school, jamming to music on her headphones. She air guitarred with the rake as she listened to her favorite rock star, Elvis Presley.

Fluttershy was helping Lemon with the raking, but was more interested in helping the nearby animals in the trees. She was, at that moment, cuddling with the squirrels and the bunnies.

Then, not looking where she was going, Lemon had backed up many a feet until-

BUMP

Down went Lemon, tumbling over Fluttershy and landing on her butt next to her. The next thing she saw were the animals running about in fear.

"Oh, dear! I'm, I'm very sorry, miss!" Fluttershy said, her face filled with worry. She stood up, and offered Lemon a hand. Lemon took it and stood back up alongside her.

"Oh, it's all right!" Lemon replied, "just got a little too into the beat."

Fluttershy and Lemon then got back to raking the leaves, Lemon not noticing the lack of music in her ear as she talked with Fluttershy as she raked.

Aha! Her phones must have landed on the ground at that school!

Lemon quickly threw her shoes on, and ran out of her house, running as fast as her legs could run to get to Canterlot High and her headphones.

Back to School

Lemon could only crawl as she saw the Crystal Prep building in front of her. Every single muscle in her body just wanted to ache.

"Kid, it's just a few feet." Lemon looked back at the bus driver driving the bus which brought her here.

"I know," she replied, " but they're the feet of giants!" She panted, and laid her head on the ground.

The bus driver only facepalmed in response, and drove away.

Lemon rested there for a few seconds, but then remembered her mission. She stood back up, and immediately went to the left side of the grounds. Her heart beat excitedly knowing it would find the phones!

However, Lemon was hit like a ton of bricks with surprise: The phones were no where to be seen!

Worried, she thought for a moment. She then had an idea. Maybe someone put it in the lost and found!

She went to the front door of the school, repeatedly banged on it for a few seconds, and waited for someone to open the door.

A moment later, an old, gray faced janitor with yellow eyes and a snaggletooth poked his face out. "What is it?" he asked.

"Need to look through your lost and found! Lost an item! REALLY NEED IT!" Lemon shouted, faster than a speeding A-chord.

The janitor merely frowned at her. "No students in the school after hours. Sorry."

"But I really-"

"No entry! THAT'S FINAL!" he shouted back.

Lemon scoffed, then crossed her arms. "Well, what're ya gonna do to stop me from getting in?!" she retorted back.

She got her answer as she was thrown back to the curb, landing on her butt once again. The janitor then raspberried at her, smiled, and then closed the door.

Lemon put a hand on her cheek, and thought to herself with a determined expression. Then I guess this means war.

The janitor heard a knock at the front door sometime later.

"Oh, who does Discord the janitor need to deal with this time?" he whined, putting down his cleaning supplies and walking to the door.

He opened the door. Just outside it was a rather familiar-looking short man, with a large, black mustache, and a dark-blue suit similar to his one-piece janitor outfit. He had on a Shadowbolts cap backwards.

"Hello, good sir!" the man said, "I'm here to deliver a package for Mr. Discord!"

The delivery man then pulled out a small box, holding it out to the surprised janitor.

"A package? For good old Discord the lowly janitor?" Discord smiled, and took the box. "I'm..I'm touched." A tear formed in his eye. "I, the janitor of CHS, am finally getting noticed by my peers."

The delivery man smiled and handed Discord a hanky as he cried with joy.

"This occasion is actually sooo special, in fact-" Discord then smiled a more devious smile, pointing the top of the box towards the delivery man, who put on a surprised face-"i think you should experience it, too!"

He then opened the box, and immediately, a springed punching glove shot out, knocking Lemon's delivery disguise off and sending her straight back to the curb.

"Nice try, miss. But you'll have to get up pretty early to outsmart good old Discord! I used to be quite the prankster myself!" He then laughed as he walked back into the school, leaving Lemon contemplating some more.

Lemon sneered at her newest plan. She tiptoed closer to the entrance, her bush costume losing leaves along the way.

She then poked her head out. The window next to the entrance was open, and there sat the janitor, reading a newspaper and drinking some Starbucks coffee.

She then readied her dartgun. She had gotten it for a camping trip some time ago, in case of a wild animal attack, which never happened. Now, she was really happy she kept it around.

She put a dart into the blowhole of the gun, and aimed until the janitor was in her sights. Then, giggling, she pulled the trigger.

However, as the dart streaked towards him, Discord ducked, smiling, making the dart ricochet off the wall, and out the window, and, unfortunately, into Lemon Zest's neck.

Uh oh. Lemon speedily tensed up, her tongue sticking out and all feeling dissipating from her body. She then crashed back to the ground.

Well, looks like it's back to the drawing board.

As soon as I get my limbs back, that is.

Lemon readied her tall pole-vaulting pole into position. If I can't get in the regular way, I guess i'll have to get a bit *over the top*!

She began running from the other side of the street, gaining speed as she went, until finally, she jabbed the pole, and went flying straight to the roof of the school. She hoorahed as she fell to the surface of the roof.

However, she found herself in the center of a trampoline, with Discord smiling and waving at her, before she was sent back into the air, and back to the other side, where her face and body collided with the nearby house.

She skidded down the side of the house, and landed in a rose bush, jumping out in pain as the thorns poked at her butt.

Boy, he sure knows how to bounce back.

Discord continued reading his newspaper. "Hmm, 'Students Get Credit For Helping Animals in Neighborhood-Canterlot student Fluttershy and her friend Tree Hugger commended for excellent service in the natural community as she builds bird houses and squirrel huts for the local forest dwellers.'" He sat back in his seat. "Seems like a nice girl, that Fluttershy. Though that Tree Hugger seems kind of fishy to me..."

His thoughts were interrupted hearing a nearby voice.

"Hellooooooooo."

The voice sounded, how could Discord put it.......seductive.

Discord looked out the window, and immediately gasped.

A well-shaped woman stood out a few feet from the window, her dress showing off her nice shoulders and smooth arms, and its tightness showing her astonishing, thin shape. Her dark skin somehow shone with seductiveness, and her green eyes, make-up, and hair simply were dazzling.

"Hey there, big boy." She walked over to Discord, and leaned on the window. "You work here at this school, I assume?"

Discord could only stutter, partly cause her hand was cold, and partly for other reasons. He somehow managed to nod.

"Well, then,"-she smiled, then gave Discord a kiss on the cheek, the lightest of kisses, making Discord shudder from head to toe-"maybe you could help me, then. I don't know if you know this, being the smart one you probably are, but I am sort of not the brightest, or goodiest, girl out there." She grabbed his chin, and looked into his eyes. "Could you teach me how to be good, teacherman?"

"U-uh, w-well, uh, y-you see, I'm, heh, just a janitor here. M-m-miss." Discord straightened out his suit, checking for any sweat marks that may have developed.

"Oh, but I am a bad girl, good sir." She pouted as she said this, making Discord shake again. Then, she smiled, and fluttered her eyes. "Maybe you, kind janitor, can clean up my act?"

"Ohhh, I could." Discord drooled at the thought. He did like the bad girls. Plus, he wouldn't mind finally having a girlfriend for once.

But then, a sudden thought appeared to Discord's mind, which made him gasp in realization. His face then contorted in anger.

He jumped out the window, making the woman gasp in surprise. "I'm not falling for this, you little brat!" With that, Discord dropkicked the black-skinned seductress into the nearby bush.

He dusted off his shoulders, thinking that was that, but then heard a slight, "uuuhhhhhhhh..."

He turned around to see Lemon Zest, in a rather poorly-fashioned seductress kind of outfit, ready to be used to trick Discord.

Discord double-took at the sudden realization, then heard a menacing growl from behind.

The woman growled, her dress and make-up smeared and ruined by Discord's mistake. "I try to flirt with you, and you kick me into a bush?!?" She pulled up her dress laces, clenching her fists in undying anger.

All Discord could do was manage to say a small, "uh oh," before being mauled by the furied female.

Lemon could only watch as the chaos unfolded. Maybe i'll search somewhere else, she thought, as she slowly backed away.

As she backed away, her eyes caught sight of a seagull nearby, pecking at the ground. Lemon then saw that the phones were wrapped around the gull's neck!

"Hey! Get back here!"

The seagull flew away in a panic as Lemon chased it away across the street, and straight north, the direction of the beach.

Beach Balls and Bikinis

Lemon ran and ran, following the seagull all the way to the beachside. She stopped, thinking her lungs were gonna fall out of their sockets. Boy, did this day get all washed up!

She saw the seagull land near the beachside hot dog stand, grabbing a hot dog from the vendor, in the process dropping the headphones. Lemon then gasped as a brown-skinned boy, with permed blonde hair and large square glasses, pick up the headphones after having his hot dog crudely taken from him. He put on the headphones and slowly walked away, leaving Lemon sweating in panic and tiredness.

Gotta get it! Gotta face the music, no matter what!

Lemon ran down the side of the beach, the sand seeping into her sandals.  The boy was resting a half a mile away. Lemon was nearly there. Almost therrrre! Lemon grinned with excitement!

BAM!

Lemon found herself lying in the sand, dazed and confused. A shadow came over her, shielding her eyes from the blinding sun.

"Yo, Lemon! You're here just in time!"

That voice sounded familiar to Lemon. She stood up , and took a better look at the person behind the shadow.

There stood Indigo Zap, sporting a simple blue one-piece swimsuit and red, white, and blue armbands, her hands on her hips. Lemon looked behind, and saw a large volleyball net. On one side were her friends Sour Sweet, wearing a short pink shirt and shorts, her hair in two buns; Sunny Flare, who had her purple hair in a ponytail and her figure in a nice yellow sports bikini and yellow shorts; and Sugar Coat, who wore a plain white T-shirt and a black bikini bottom, who looked Lemon up to down.

"You look tired. You should consider getting more sleep." She saw the sweat on Lemon's skin. "And exercise more."

"What are you guys doing here?" Lemon asked, wiping sweat off her forehead.

"These knuckleheads over here thought they could beat us in a volleyball match!" Indigo pointed to the guys on the other side of the net. One was a giant of a giant, with white skin, big muscles, and grey swimshorts, his red eyes piercing yet not too bright. The second guy was black-skinned, with a blue and white Mohawk and light blue swimshorts. The third was a tallish fellow, with blazing dark-blue hair, light blue skin, and a blue shirt and swimshorts, with the shirt having the word WONDERCOLTS emblazoned on it (rather good-looking guy, Lemon thought). The final guy was not so like that. His pimples and zits on his almost pale skin weren't all that nice to look at, and his hair was slicked back, showing off his hairy, nasty, glasses-covered face.

"Us Shadowbolts, of course, were gonna prove them wrong! However, we're missing a player! Wanna join?" Indigo invited Lemon onto the court with a wave of her hand. The other Shadowbolts did the same.

"Oh, that does sound rad, Indigo-" Lemon smiled, but frowned-"b-but I have to do something."

"Gasp! Did I hear a stutter?" The black-skinned man chuckled heartily. "Sounds like someone's too scared to go against us!"

The white giant shouted a giant "YEAAAAAHHH!," which resulted in all the guys laughing, which made Lemon blush with anger.

"Oh, now you're gonna get a beatdown, volleyball-style!"

With a swish, Lemon zapped over to the changing booth, quickly slipping off all her clothes, and grabbing on a green striped bikini top and bottom, and jumped out, her eyes ablaze with competing.

"Let's rock their world, Shadowbolts!" she shouted, which led to an almighty cheer of the girls as they readied for battle.

Little did Lemon know when she accepted helping her friends out that she knew squat about volleyball.

It took quite a while for Lemon to get used to the new sport. She always managed to fumble up with the ball, not hitting it hard enough or not catching it at the right time. Lemon even managed to give Sunny Flare a splitting headache after misaiming with a spike, which led to some laughs from onlookers.

Lemon decided to watch and learn as she played. Over the next half hour, she began to get better. In the next half-hour, she was practically an expert. She even made a song in her head as she learned, with a Queen kind of style of music:

We're gonna, we're gonna spike the ball!

We're gonna, we're gonna spike the ball!

The Shadowbolts began to get a good run as their points got close to the guys', which made the boys start to sweat, the girls to jump with joy, and the increasing crowd to cheer with excitement.

It was a close end. The crowd was in full cheer mode. The points were tied. The ball was continuously in the air as the boys and girls batted it against each other.

Then, through chance, the ball was over Lemon. She glanced over the crowd. Everyone was watching what she was doing. The Shadowbolts had determination all over their face, hoping to show their dominance over these braggers.

The determination passed over to Lemon, and, with a strong arm, punched the ball straight to the ground.

Then, she gasped with joy and surprise as the boys tripped, missing the ball and letting it hit the sand with a big thump.

The crowd started shouting in pure sportsmanship, making waves and chanting, "Shadowbolts, shadowbolts!" The girls grouped together, throwing Lemon in the air as she giggled with glee at her accomplishment.

Then, her eyes caught a glance at a pair of eyes, staring right at her. The brown-skinned boy stared right into her eyes. Lemon got down from the group and stood there, not really sure what to do.

The boy walked over to Lemon. "Why, you did really good there, Lemon."

"oh, uh, thanks, uh-"

"Trenderhoof. I go to your school."

"Oh, yeah. You helped maked the the new, wicked fashion policies of the school for the past few years!"

"Indeed. My notes for detail and finding the amazing-that's my biggest talent!" He hit a big pose, as if he struck down a great evil, which made Lemon giggle some more.

"And, of course, uh,"-Trenderhoof started to fumble with his words-"what I saw on the volleyball court just now-that was definitely amazing." He stared into Lemon's eyes again. "You were amazing."

"Oh, uh, well, uh"-Lemon felt a big blush coming on, along with a big smile-"thank you."

"And, you know what?" Trenderhoof continued, "I'll bet you're incredible with other things, too, like art or music!"

Lemon continued her awkward enjoyment of his words for only a moment, but then gasped, remembering her mission. "Music! Right! Headphones!" She grabbed his arms, her eyes wide with worry. "The pink headphones! A bird had them! NEED THEM BACK!"

"Oh, those were yours?" Trenderhoof started step back, biting his lip. "Oh, dear."

"What's wrong?"

"I, uh, don't listen to music much," Trender replied, putting his arms behind him, his look of guilt increasing, "so I gave them away to my friend."

"WHAT?!?"

"He just left, though!" Trenderhoof pointed to the street nearby, at a green convertible Corvette. "His car is still here. Maybe you can catch him, still!"

Lemon gasped again, though, as someone, a well-fashioned man with glasses, a sweater wrapped around his green shirt, and white shorts, sat in the driver's seat.

"Oh, I better get going!" She began to run, but then turned around again, looking Trenderhoof in the eyes. "Uh, thanks again-for everything."

"Oh, uh..no problem, Lemon."

Trender and Lemon both started to blush. Lemon then waved goodbye and turned back around, but soon saw the Corvette turn into the street and begin to drive away.

"Waaaaaiiiiiiitt!" was all Lemon shouted as she chased the car down the street, with the Shadowbolts watching her go.

Sugar Coat turned to her fellow Shadowbolts. "She does know she's half-naked, right?"

Sugarcube Shenanigans

Lemon ran for a good few blocks, never getting her sights off the speeding car. She began to pant in exhaustion and stress. I seriously don't see why dogs like this!

She continued like for a few more minutes, before the car and its driver reached its destination.

Sugarcube Corner was abundant with activity as the car turned into the street next to it. A line stretching a few feet beyond was in place, with customers waiting eagerly for tasty treats and sweets.

Lemon stopped running as soon as her hand rested on the back bumper of the car. She watched, her lungs heaving, as the sweater-neck driver of the car walked past the line, his chin up high, and opened the front door of the Corner, walking in, leaving some of those waiting in distress and anger and the others in confusion or sadness.

That action seemed kind of rude in Lemon's eyes. Unfortunately, I have to follow him! Gotta get the phones back!

She passed the people in line, apologizing as she did. She was met with weirded-out looks. Lemon became confused, and continued.

Lemon opened the door to the Corner. Everywhere, there were people, talking, being happy, and having sweets. The short, plump, and blue-skinned Mrs. Cake and the tall, thin, and orange Mr. Cake were not even hurrying to keep the line short, as they continued to make delicious desserts for their customers, baking and frosting them with delicacy and carefulness to create good quality goodies.

Lemon took a step inside, and already she was met with the same disgusted looks as the ones inside. Lemon thought for a moment on why. Then, with realization hitting her, she looked down at her beach getup from a while ago, and immediately blushed, covering herself with her arms . Thoughts of those going-to-school-naked dreams came to Lemon's mind as she started curling up as much as possible in embarrassment.

Then, Lemon gasped, and got an idea. She grabbed a silk table cover from a nearby surprised couple, and swished it around herself. As the cover calmed, the patrons of the Corner dropped their mouths at the now beguiling sight of Lemon. The red and orange striped cover had spinned around her, turning it into a fine red and orange striped fancy dress, with a red silk rose resting in Lemon's hair, turning Lemon not only into a customer of the Corner, but a sensation of the Corner.

Lemon looked at the faces of the patrons again, and smiled with glee. Thank you, Rarity and Sunny, for teaching me that trick!

She glanced around, and saw the driver of the car she had chased to this location, the only face to not show surprise at Lemon. Rather, he, with crossed arms, turned away, his chin still up and his lips in a pout.

Lemon sat across from him. She noticed a white cat in the man's lap.

The driver looked at Lemon with a frown. "Ah, I've been expecting you," he said, petting his cat on his lap, "given you followed me here quite a distance. I am Mister Jet Set. And you are?"

Lemon, surprisingly rather afraid of Jet's demeaning, criticizing look, put on her best serious face, and looked directly into his eyes. "The name is Zest." She squinted. "Lemon Zest." She noticed a sort of British accent as she said that, but pushed that thought aside.

She waved to the Cakes, who had been watching them to that point, and said, "Milkshake, please. Shaken, not stirred."

Within a moment, a waiter, with a beard, brown hair, and a waiter's suit as handsome as that of maybe a young Sean Connery, was at their table, with a vanilla milkshake with a cherry on top on a silver platter.

Lemon grabbed the shake, and began to sip it, still squinting. "You have something that belongs to me."

Jet, looking back still frowning for just a moment, then smiled, and chuckled. He put his hand into his handbag, and pulled it out back, holding, to Lemon's shock and elation, her pink headphones. "So, you are the proud owner of these." Jet put the phones on his neck, snapping to the beat they played. "Yes, Trender did say he didn't really have a taste in music, and he didn't have the slightest idea who they belonged to, except for maybe the bird. That bumbling idiot." He chuckled again. "He may have an eye for fashion, but when it comes to common sense, he is merely blind."

"Hey, be nice." Lemon's cheeks went slightly red as she said that. "The dude seems like a good man." She held her hand out to Jet. "Now, give them back, please."

"Oh, but why should I?" Jet patted the phones with his hands. "They seem like quality technology. And you did lose them, and I find them. Therefore, oh what is it they say nowadays? Oh, that's right." Jet pulled his face closer to Lemon's until it was in inch away, a devious smile on it. "Finder keepers, loser weepers." He then laughed, still holding Lemon's precious phones and petting his cat, who too chuckled with her master.

Lemon winced and snarled. "Well, there's another thing they say: Those who take lost things-" Without another word, a slash flashed across Jet's face, which left him confused until half of his milkshake fell to the floor-"lose their face."

In a flash, Lemon reached for her phones, but, in another flash, Jet jumped up off his seat, and landed on the floor.

He smiled, straightening his hair, and laughing maniacally. "Pardon me, but I am not familiar with that phrase."

He then grabbed a nearby senior's bowler hat, and threw it with great speed at Lemon. Lemon ducked out of her seat in time, and rose back up to find a dramatic dent in the seat where the hat hit it.

Jet, frowning in shock, then dove his hand into the senior's mouth, grabbing his metal-filled teeth, and then jumped to the corner. With the teeth, he chewed off the supporting wires to the light fixture hanging above Lemon.

Lemon only had a half-second to dive away from the impact. She breathed a sigh of relief, and looked back at the senior.

"Sorry," he said, "Had a looooooot of sweets in my time!"

Lemon stood back up, only to be pelted by icing as Jet had ducked behind the sweets counter, and grabbed a few icing packs from Mr. and Mrs. Cake, who cuddled in the corner, with Mr. Cake sucking his thumb a thousand times a second.

Boy, I've had tough situations before, but this guy takes the cake! Lemon threw down a table, and ducked for cover behind it.

Lemon then crawled away, hiding from Jet's sight, until she managed to get behind him.

Then, Jet saw with great shock behind him as Lemon groped him, sending him to the ground.

The phones flew off Jet's neck, and flew a great distance, until, to Lemon's surprise and annoyance, it flew out the door, and landed in the trashcan nearby.

Lemon then saw to her horror that the dumptruck, as per his schedule, had just arrived to gather the trash for the week.

She dashed towards the front, only to be tripped back down to the floor. She looked behind her to se Jet Set, also on the floor and holding Lemon's dress by the edge.

Jet Set then began to laugh maniacally once more. "If I can't have it, no one can!"

He then laughed a moment more, before he was interrupted by a whack to the head, leaving him unconscious and with a large bump on his head.

Lemon looked up to his attacker, and found the waiter from before, this time with a baking pan.

"Go for it, girl," he said to her, in a gruff, yet handsomely rugged British kind of voice. He then winked, which made Lemon smile.

Then, without another word, she got back up, and dashed out to rounds of applause from the audience of the intense fight that just ensued, and ran in the direction of the truck.

Mr. and Mrs. Cake got back up, the mister getting his thumb out from his mouth and asking the waiter, "uh, who exactly are you?"

The waiter answered, in a regular New York accent, "Oh, just a regular Joe."

Disaster With Dogs In A Dump

Lemon sniffed and recoiled at the mixed smell of dirt, rotten milk, old furniture, and bad food entering her nostrils. She looked in horror at the piles of dirty garbage and trashbags, and the large hills of gunk and junk that towered over them.

She then looked over the sign, which read, in big red letters, City Dump.

Lemon didn't want to go in there at all. She didn't even like taking out the garbage in her own home.

But her phones were in there. She had seen just a few moments ago as the dump truck rolled into the entrance to this kingdom of trash, and heard in terror as it dumped its pile somewhere deeper in the facility, burying her phones somewhere where she might never find it.

Lemon scrunched her face, plugging her nose, but then, after a moment, unplugged it and put on her best face of determination. Nothing's gonna stop me from getting my music back, even if it *does** get me down in the dumps!*

So, with that, she bravely walked into the dump, unknowing of what lurked ahead.

The dump looked much scarier to Lemon as she hiked through it. The sun had set sometime ago, leaving the hills of garbage with a menacing-looking darkness about them which shook Lemon to the core.

scrunch! Lemon heard scrunching and crackling from behind, and turned around to see what was going on.

Crackle, Crackle! Lemon's heart began to beat faster. Her hands began to clam up.

Scrunch, crackle, scrunch, crackle!  Lemon looked to see a semi-big pile of newspapers a few feet from her. They mpoved and contorted as they made the terrifying noise. Lemon began to shake and sweat.

Crackle, crackle, scrunch, scrunch, crackle, crackle, SCRUNCH, SCRUNCH! CRACKLE! Lemon felt like she was drowning in water. Her clothes began to leak from sweat as her mouth tried to scream but couldn't. She shut her eyes and braced herself.

Then, to Lemon's surprise, the noise died down. She opened her eyes, and sighed as a small black kitten walked out of the pile of newspapers, scrunching them up as it did, and rubbed itself against Lemon's legs.

Lemon dropped to her knees, petting the kitten with a smile. Awwww, man! Can't believe I was being such a scaredy-cat about this little guy! She booped its nose with her finger, giggling as it jumped and rubbed its face against hers.

But then Lemon saw the cat's face start to frown. The cat then backed up slowly, then scampered away a moment later.

Lemon scratched her head, thinking what got his tongue, when she looked at the ground below her.

She noticed her shadow had multiplied.

She turned around and found herself staring at hideous, slanted eyes in the darkness. One pair, yellow, near the ground, another, a ghostly white, above her height, and a final one, a gruesome green, in the middle.

Lemon began to think like the cat and started to back away herself. Her ears picked up a quiet, hoarse noise, almost like a laugh, like one that Gollum from Lord of the Rings would bellow out. And with every second of this pretentious amusement, getting closer and closer with the eyes, her heartbeat got faster and louder.

Despite the force of fear closing in on her, quite literally, she managed to choke out, "Wh-wh-who are you?"

The eyes had stopped suddenly. Then, the green eyes walked closer till they were only a few feet from Lemon, whose nose picked up a very bad smell, like a dog that hadn't been bathed in weeks.

"We," said a gruff voice, like an old demon's voice, "are the predators. And you, girl, are our prey." More ungodly giggling was heard, along with slight murmuring and whispers.

Her then were blinded for a moment as the eyes were flashed by the flashlight in his hand. Lemon could now see a  grey, muzzled-like face to go with those green eyes. She noticed his pointed ears twitch as he scratched his black-haired head.

"I'm...your....prey?"

"Yeessssssssss," Green-Eye whispered, "to the Diamond Dogs!"

Lemon's eyes were flashed again as two new faces appeared to go with the other eyes. The tall, white eyes had the same grey muzzleface, only lighter, rounder, and with red hair. The small yellow eyes shared Green-Eye's black hair, but had browner skin and smaller face features.

Lemon straightened herself up, but still kept her arms around herself. "The Diamond Dogs?"

Small-And-Yellow spoke up this time. "Yessssss, our little prey. The Diamond Dogssss."

"Filthy Guardians and Keepers of this Dump," Big-White said immediately. Filthy was right, Lemon thought, her fingers urging to plug her nose from that animal stench.

"This is where we live," Green-Eye said, waving his arm to the trashhills to emphasize his words, "And only us live. Anyone else,"-he stared into Lemon's face, which sent another chill into her soul-"is merely our prey."

"And prisoner, yess, yess," Small added,

"That is, if Prey does what it is told by us Dogs," Big piped up.

Green looked back at Big. "Fido! I, Rover the leader, wanted to say that!'

"Oh, but why must you, Rover the leader?" Small asked, "Does what is said by who matter?"

"Yes, it does, Spot!" Rover paused, pointing to the reader, "especially in fiction, where what character says and does may change whole story!" He looked back at the reader. "Right, fiction reader?"

"No it doesn't, reader! Don't answer him, reader! BE QUIET, READER!" Spot shouted, jumping in front of his leader, who shot a dirty look in his direction.

"Enough! That is not important as of moment!" He turned back to Lemon, with her eyebrow raised at this confusing team. He bared his big teeth at her, returning to his demon whisper. "What matters now is showing the prey who is top dog!"

"Ha! I see what you did there!" Fido piped in, an open smile on his face.

"Not now, Fido!"

The somewhat literally-named Dogs advanced more towards Lemon. Lemon gulped, sweating and trying to think as her distance between her and the group. She stepped on a crushed can, and slipped, her red dress getting covered in dust and dirt.

As she tried to get up, she noticed a large crane up above. Then, just like that, an idea appeared.

She jumped onto her feet and began to run up the big garbage hill near the crane hook. The Dogs looked up in horror as she ran.

"Hey!" Rover shouted. "This isn't supposed to happen! The villains are supposed to win and capture you right now!"

"Maybe this is one of those stories where the hero fights back!" Fido retorted.

"Don't say that! You're gonna give the readers ideas!"

Lemon smiled down at the as she jumped and grabbed the hook, swinging over them like Tarzan over the jungle.

"Sorry, boys!" she shouted. "I had fun swinging by, but I gotta find my headphones!"

She then smiled the biggest smile as she saw her headphones on the next biggest hill, sitting right on top, waiting for her to grab it.

She jumped onto the hill, giggling in anticipation. She began to run up the hill, her phones getting closer and closer. She laughed some more as she wanted to her sweet tunes again. Her hands were only a mere foot away-

"Ha!"

The phones were grabbed off the top, but not by Lemon's hand. She saw with wide eyes as the Dogs laughed, Rover holding her phones in his slimy, hairy hands.

"You dirty thiefs!" Lemon shouted out. "How did you get up here so fast?!"

"Simple, prey girl! uh-" Rover stopped, frowning and putting his hand on his head as he tried to think. He turned to his cronies. "How did we get up here so fast?"

"You got me, boss!" Fido pointed down the hill, where barbed wire, sharp rocks, and prickly plants resided. "This part of hill look impossible to climb, let alone climb fast!"

"Yes!" Spot added, scratching his head. "By all odds, it doesn't make sense!"

"Oh, ok," Rover responded, "at least we get our prey!" He giggled in anticipation in his thought of victory.

Lemon, her face red, grabbed the phones in his hand. "Gimme my phones!"

"Never!"

"Please!"

"No!"

"Why?!?"

"Because this scene requires conflict!"

Lemon, her face showing the best of her determination, used up the last of her strength as she pulled on her phones. The leader of the Dogs did so in return, managing to turn the scuffle around 180 degrees.

Then, the scuffle ended with a big slip of the hand.

Lemon started to fall from the hill, holding her phones in her hand.

Her dress was then suddenly grabbed by slimy paws as the Dogs looked down on her in anger.

"Give me those phones! Be our prisoner!" The Dogs shouted.

Lemon looked back in pure mixed fear and anger. "Never!"

Then, using her free hand, she pushed Rover off using the last of her strength.

She looked down as she fell towards the ground.

At least I have my precious! She shed a tear, having finally gotten her phones back.

She began to shout in joy, "My precious!" repeatedly as her distance between her and doom decreased quickly.

However, her head, along with her whole body, became wet as she splashed into the ocean.

She swam back up and surfaced, coughing up water as she wiped off her face. She looked at the water she currently floated in.

"Water?" she continued to look with a raised eyebrow, until sudden realization hit her. Then, she smiled. "Oh yeah! The dump is right next to the ocean!"

She began to laugh in relief, knowing she could continue to live, and now with her headphones in her-

Wait a minute. She looked at her hands, only to find both empty!

She began to look around again, her face contorted in horror and fear. Then, her eyes befell on a nearby rock. There, she found a seagull, cawing at her as he poked at the phones wrapped around his neck.

"THIS AGAIN?!?" Lemon facepalmed. "Oh, well, at least I can live to chase you again!"

"Have fun with that!" Lemon heard that phrase up above. She glanced above, and saw the dogs guffawing at her down below. She then noticed in pure surprise and disgust at what they held in their hands: her red dress from the Corner, and her beach bikini from a while ago.

"At least we got something from you!" Rover shouted out, shouting out gloating laughter.

"Yeah, Happy Birthday, naked prey girl!" Fido shouted as well, chuckling along with Rover's merriment.

Lemon began to cover herself, but then looked as the seagull began to fly away.

"Aw, nuts!" She began to swim towards the gull, hoping her body wasn't too visible.

Darn hormonal writers!

A Pirate's Life For Me

Captain Dusty sighed, slightly adjusting his captain's hat as he begrudgingly looked out into the sea past his ship.

I knew I should've just stayed in me bed today. He sighed, both in boredom and in nice thought at how comfy his bed was. Of course, he also recoiled at the thought of how he awoke: To the smell of seawater as it splashed into his shiproom window and guzzled into his nose.

But even that was better than this boredom.

Yep, me hearty Dusty, he thought to himself. This was just another day at the sea.

The boring, blue sea.

        Nothing, except waves.

        And tides.

        Fish..

        Girls...

Dusty stopped, furrowing his brow. "Wait a clamming minute."

Dusty looked into the water again. Laying on a rock, he saw a tangle of seaweed, greener than shining emeralds. But that wasn't the interesting part. The interesting thing was what they were covering.

Under the seaweed was a pink-skinned girl, with hair of green and lime, her eyes closed, breathing calmly. Why she was there, he didn't know the reason.

So, the curious one he was, Dusty ran towards the edge of the ship, grabbing a lifesaver ring, and jumped into the ocean, swimming towards the girl as fast as he could (which wasn't really all that fast; he was a pirate, not a pro swimmer).

In a few seconds, he managed to grab onto the rock which the girl lay. He looked into her face. Her eyes were still closed, and her breath was still calm as ever. Quite a pretty face, he thought. His mind then wandered to when he last had a date...

Before that thought could manifest further, Dusty turned his thoughts to the seaweed wrapped around his lady.

Dusty, ever thoughtful, decided to cut it free. With that, he grabbed his pocket knife, and began to make a tear in the weed.

Suddenly, he stopped. Hold on a mere moment.

He took a small glance under the seaweed. he immediately closed it back up, his face now redder than a ruby.

Dusty gulped. Somethin' tells me beardy self that I just found me some booty. His face reddened even more. Quite literally.

His hormones beginning to rush to a place he would rather not think of, his eyes glanced down to where the girl's mentioned, erm, body part, lay, stilled wrapped under ocean plant, but still round.

It *has** been a while. And...the fair lady be asleep.*

A nervous smile began to creep up Dusty's face as his arm slowly began to advance toward her behind.

"One little feel couldn't hurt her, now..."

That was the last thing Dusty said before he blacked out.....

Lemon slowly sat up, shaking her hand, as it kind of hurt punching that pirate's lights out in one hit.

"There's yer feel for ya, matey," She said half-smirk, half-sneer.

With that, she cut herself free using the pirate's knife, took the pirate's clothes (leaving, of course, the undergarments), and climbed aboard the polished wooden ship.

She took a good look around. It was actually a pretty nice boat. Solid oak. She stomped against the floor and patted the sides a few times. Sturdy.

She then looked up at the sail. Black with a white skull and crossbones. Edged across the back of the sail were the words:

Dusty's Pirate Ship. Warning: Dusty's Pirate Ship. Property of Dusty. Do Not Touch Except For Dusty.

Unless yer a mermaid. Then you can touch me ship, and me booty, all you like.

Lemon gaped at the message.  Then, without another thought, she walked up to the sail, and, with her naked might, ripped off the sail with one sweep.

"The first to go on my new ship."

Lemon adjusted her newfound belt on her newfound oversized pants until it (somewhat) fit around her waist. Man, this dude was huge! She then sneered, remembering his sail message. No wonder the guy didn't have a girlfriend.

Then, the belt the best it could be, Lemon looked at herself in the mirror. The pants weren't the only things that were big. Her new white cotton shirt hung over her like drapes, going down almost to her knees. That wasn't all, though. The collar was so low, it exposed much of her chest for everyone to see.

Lemon grimaced. I've already done that a *bit** too much recently*. She shuddered at the thought of what those Dogs were doing with the thought of her dressless.

Her new boots were also too big, feeling really floppy on her tiny female feet. Not only that, they kinda smelled.

Lemon decided to look around for anything that might be smaller. She walked all around the captain's quarters until she came to a big unlocked chest.

She opened said chest, and gazed into what lay in it. In it were several garments, of all shapes and sizes. On the bottom of the lid was another message: Clothes stolen by me.

Lemon smiled, rubbing her palms together. I just found me some treasure!

Now this was much better, Lemon thought to herself, putting on her new outfit.

She looked in the mirror once more, and smiled. Her whitish-green top fit her like a glove, and was tied at the collar so that no more body parts could be exposed, and tucked in her pants and belt. Her striped brown and orange pants were still a little big, but now more of a stylish big. Like disco pants.

She also managed to find some nice dark-brown leather boots for her small feet. However, not from the chest. She had noticed them underneath the captain's bed, with another message:

In case Elizabeth Swann comes back.

The name sounded familiar to Lemon. Maybe from a movie. She did know one thing, though: that girl is probably not coming back.

Lemon put that thought away as she continued to look at her new pirate portrait. However, she felt that something was missing to complete this.

She put a finger on her chin, looking through the chest some more. Then, at the very bottom, she found something of interest.

At the bottom, she found two things: a very nice-looking standard pirate's hat, but light blue instead of brown, and a dark-green pirate trench coat, with whitish green trim color to match her shirt.

These are perfect! Lemon was filled with glee as she put on the pirate hat and slipped on the coat.

She jumped in front of the mirror once more. Now we're talking! She began to strut her pirate stuff, looking at each awesome angle as if she was a model, and the mirror was a cameraman.

But, then, she felt a slight itch at the back of her neck. Frowning, she reached around, and scratched her neck.

Her hands, however, scratched unto something else. A piece of paper, of sorts. Lemon groaned, bringing the paper around. Another note. She opened up the crumpled paper and read:

For when I finally go on that diet :)

Lemon shrugged and threw the paper into a corner. At least he tried. Now, I've got me some threads

With that, Lemon, smiling her best pirate smile, let out a mighty, "Yaaaaarrrrggh!!"

She stomped out the quarters, stroding towards the wheel of the oak ship, took its handle and began to steer.

She began to sing a mighty pirate shanty:

Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me.

We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate's life for me!

As she sailed into the sea, she suddenly remembered: how is she sailing if she took off the sail?

She looked up, and immediately saw a new sail in place. It was a nice, green color, with the image of music notes sprawled around. In the center of it was the spitting image of her headphones.

Lemon looked in awe and confusion. Then, with a grunt, she shrugged.