"It's kind of a spectrometer."

by Michael Hudson

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 2398

Why would human Twilight have a device for picking up ghosts? Would you believe that it all started with chaos gods, Cthulhu, and a curious Twilight, who also so happened to be a wraith?

For a woman of science, intellect, and knowledge, isn't it a little strange that Twilight would use a device that picks up ghosts, or any sort of supernatural entity? Especially when ghosts weren't something even the magical, talking unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, didn't believe in?

Of course, most would consider a wraith and Cthulhu to be strong evidence to become a believer.

Side story for the Twaith universe. Reading it isn't ABSOLUTELY necessary, but it will help to understand some of the jokes.

Also, crossover tag is there for a cameo appearance by Beerus and Whis from Dragonball Z in the beginning.

Thank you to Foals Errand for prereading.

Published 2015-09-30 21:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-30 21:50:02 UTC

Scientific Inquries

Beerus’ cat ears twitched as he put down another week token on to the pot. “Are you willing to risk it Celestia?”

The white alicorn sipped her tea, looking at the field of red that was her poker hand. “I suppose I can risk it.” She then hovered one of the thirty tokens amassed before her, all of which resembled another week that Celestia had before Beerus would come to destroy her world, and threw it on the pot in the middle.

While the two finished the hand, Twilight, who was laying on top of Cthulhu’s arm and having her essence pet, was staring at Whiss, unable to relax. She fidgeted a bit, and frowned. The wonder of the blue alien’s ‘hands’ had been an object of curiosity in the past, but the lord Cthulhu had always interested her more. Not to mention that Beerus was usually more riled up for poker night and offered a good distraction. Today though, she just had to know. “Whiss, what type of being are you? I mean, Beerus is obviously a huge, purple cat, but I don’t know what you are.”

The blue man smiled as his pupil screamed bloody murder, partially from Twilight’s description of him, and partially from his two pair losing to Celestia’s flush. He swallowed the last of his bite of pizza, and put a hand to his chin. “Well, I suppose the best explanation I could give that you might understand that I’m a humanoid. Does that clear it up?”

Twilight shook her head, biting into her lip as she crossed her hooves. “No, because I’ve never heard of such creatures. Are they a subspecies of something?” She let out a small yelp as her eldritch pillow turned into something that simply stood on two legs. A long, black cloak covered most of the stranger, and he smiled, a white smock over his chest, and a tall, top hat was used to cover sandy, blonde hair. He then opened his arms, and spoke in eldritch.

Twilight put a hoof into her ear, trying to make sure she hadn’t missed anything. “I’m sorry, but what was that last word? I’m not familiar.” She nodded as a long stream of words came out of Cthulhu, causing the lights to flicker, the croissants to become cupcakes, and for a Shoggoth to come in, wave hi, and then be blinked back out of existence.

Twilight slowly nodded, coming closer to Cthulhu, and almost purring as he started to scratch her chin, having not lost his ability to touch the wraith. “So you’re a human? Where do they even exist?”

Celestia took a sip of her tea, glancing down at the four aces in her hand, and the five weeks Beerus just bet. “Well, to us, in a different dimension, just like Cthulhu. I… I honestly don’t like to think about them very often though.”

Twilight frowned slightly as she hovered over to Celestia. “Why is that? Do they kill ponies? Are they cruel barbarians who want nothing else but to see each other's demise? Do they not like books?” Twilight held her hooves up, a gasp being ripped out of her before going through Celestia because she tried to grab the princess’ shoulders. “Do they not like books?”

Celestia chuckled as she shook her head, swiping away a tear before she smiled at Twilight. “No. In fact, I know almost nothing about them myself. All I know is that there is a portal in my cellar that leads to them, and that I almost lost that which I hold most dearly to them, one year ago.” Her head then hung low, thoughts of Sunset, one hoof in, coming back, and the fear she had until the two had left that room.

Twilight put a hoof against Celestia’s shoulder, this time merely hovering it over. “I’m so sorry, Celestia. I didn’t know.”

The princess shook her head as she laid down her cards, causing another burst of cursing from Beerus. “It’s fine, really. Just… please tell me you won’t go, okay?”

Twilight nodded, before crossing her hoof over her chest, and placing it over her eye. “Pinkie promise.”

=======+++++======

Cthulhu opened one eye, the peace of his home being disturbed by his own language. At first he considered just ignoring it, just as he did with most of his followers who awoke him from his slumber. On the other hand, there was a familiarity to it, and he furrowed his brow in thought, hoping it wasn’t Steve. He hated Steve.

His maw of tentacles squirmed as he pinpointed the voice, and amplified it to hear it better. Almost immediately, his cheeks grew rosy as he realized that it was his kitten who called. Coming out of the mammoth sized rift, Cthulhu held out his arms, only to find the spirit ramming his face, her eyes level with his own.

Twilight panted in front of him, one of her eyes twitching. “I need to know more! I need to see what humans are, I need to figure out how they work, I need more!”

Cthulhu blinked a few times before letting out a sigh that brought a table to life in the dimly lit room. He then began negotiations with Twilight. At first, he offered to let her see them, but nothing more. Twilight wouldn’t have it though, stating that a conversations was a requirement to sate her appetite. He then offered a follower of his, but when he had to admit the person would be considered crazy by most humans, she shot that down. Besides, Steve would be the only one available without interrupting his other plans, and he was not about to subject his wraith to such a fate.

Finally, by glancing at time and space, Cthulhu found an option. She would go and meet herself, claiming she was an ancestor, and a ghost. Twilight’s eyes shone, and the deal was struck as the spirit danced in the air.. As she was pushed in though, she realized something crucial. “Why will she believe I’m an acest-Eep!”

The next thing Twilight knew, something was screaming, and she felt… odd. She blinked a few times, before looking down at her body. She wore a long, tattered, black cloak, that covered most of her figure. She also had two legs, and two arms, just like Cthulhu, Whiss, and Beerus. However, she was still purple, and a quick check on her head yielded a disappointing lack of cat ears. She then looked down at the other purple girl, in a maroon vest, plaid skirt, and white shirt. Slowly, the wraith waved. “Hi?”

Twilight grabbed a book, and chucked it at... herself. It went right through though, and the girl simply tried to crawl away now. “What are you?”

Twaith huffed as she lowered herself, gently attempting to put her feet on the ground, like she would with her hooves so as to not weird other ponies out. “I’m a ghost, an ancestor of yours fro-”

The human narrowed her eyes and stood up, having regained her composure by her sensibilities being smacked with a sledgehammer. “No you’re not. Ghosts don’t exist!”

Twaith’s eyes widened, before she floated forward, the temperature in the room dropping almost twenty degrees as a black aura came out from behind her. Twilight took a step back, for a moment thinking one of her more recent experiments must have accidentally summoned Slenderman, something she was quickly finding faith in. “Do not insult my mother like that you despicable wench! She dedicated her entire life to studying ghosts and their magic! I will not have you insult her or her works!”

The two stayed silent for a few moments, breathing heavily as the magic, and cold, faded. Twaith blinked a few times before stepping back. “Oh, oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so aggressive.”

Twilight blinked a few more times, before deciding it was best that she didn’t try to annoy the creature in her room. “Umm, n-no problem, I suppose.” Her mind was desperately trying to wrap itself around what had just been said, and what she saw now. But one word stood out above them all. “Magic? Why did you say magic?”

It was now Twaith’s turn to snap her eyes wide open, before her cheeks reddened and she put a finger next to her mouth. “Oh, um, did I say that?”

“Yes, yes you did.”

“And you’re sure you didn’t hear something, anything else?”

Twilight stepped forward. “You said your mother researched ghosts, but no one in the entire Sparkle Family has, disproving you as one of my ancestors. So, this means that the portal you came through couldn’t have been time travelling. Unless of course, you expect yourself to be why I investigate ghosts, which isn’t going to happen, and would create paradoxes anyways.”

Twaith narrowed her brow at the last line, before floating forward. “Oh, and why wouldn’t you want to research spirits? It’s a plenty respectable profession, and you don’t want to be caught unaware if a wraith comes to get you, do you?”

Twilight pinched the bridge of her nose. “Even if I were willing to accept you as a ghost, instead of some sleep deprived vision, I will not concede to wraiths existing!”

Twaith extended a hand, grabbing hold of a cabinet in the room and quickly icing it over. “Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle, the good wraith. Nice to meet you.”

Twilight blinked a few moments, looked to her notes, and then back to Twaith, just before a smile broke out over her face, and she charged forward, a layer of frost covering her as she ran through Twaith. Turning around and dusting herself off, she shouted, “Let me research you!”

Twaith stopped for a few moments before raising an eyebrow. “What?”

Twilight rubbed her hands in front of her, just before she started grabbing different components, trying to come up with something to use. “My current research studies have been yielding less than positive results, but if I were to show concrete evidence of ghosts, and magical ones at that, they would have to approve my application to Everton. You could be my ticket out of this place!”

Twaith raised an eyebrow, before her own curiosity grew. She could help this family of Sparkles grow to be pioneers in a field that had never been looked into apparently by this world, or had at least been lost to them. She knew she shouldn’t. She was only there to observe, and not change things. However, the sounds of Twilight murmuring to herself about theorems and possibilities was simply too much. “Alright, but let me help!”

And for the next two hours, they worked. Both asked questions about each other, and technology, as they tried all manner of scanners, probes, and meters. All in an attempt to try pick up any sort of reading from Twaith other than temperature wise. Meanwhile, the wraith got more and more delicious news about this new race as she asked about her counterparts life, though the apparent lack of kindness in the world did disappoint her. However, that only bolstered her want to help the girl more.

Finally, they got a reading. Twaith stared at the machine as the needle on it glowed slightly, and pointed straight at her. “So, umm, what is that exactly?”

“It’s a modified spectrometer, using your specific frequency of electromagnetic waves In theory, it should pinpoint you from about five feet away, though I hope to make it stronger with future versions.” Twilight circled her new friend, making sure that she was indeed correct, and that the device continued to point at the spirit. Twilight let out a small squeal of pleasure, hugging the frail device to her chest. For now, it was just a core and wires, along with the needle, but with proof that it worked, she already designs for a portable version running through her mind. “With this, I could revolutionize how we look at the afterlife, if not the human spirit in general!”

Twaith clapped her hands together, but before she could say more, a green portal opened up beside them, and a clergyman stepped out, his top hat covering his face. He spoke in hushed tones, and only to Twaith, but what Twilight could hear, made her head hurt. Twaith seemed to put up a protest, but inevitably gave in to the man, speaking in his odd tongue as well.

Cthulhu then turned to the human, and removed his hat from his face, showing off his beautiful, tentacle filled maw. Twilight gently drifted to the ground with the aid of his magic, before the two left, back through the portal.

It was only about another minute later that the human Twilight woke up, holding onto her head. “Oooh, why does everything smell like copper?” She tried to shake the feeling clear, but only manages to make her head hurt. In an attempt to relax it, she pressed her forehead against the cold wood of her desk.

That was when a small buzz came from the device next to her.

Twilight picked up the unfinished device, her brow furrowing as she looked at it. Glancing at the computer, she could see that the file name to the program was, Special Spectrometer. She frowned even harder at the preposterous device, just as the arrow on the instrument glowed, pointing to behind her... and a frozen cabinet.

Placing a hand on the steel drawers sent shivers down her spine, and no matter where she stood, the device pointed to the ice. Twilight felt a knot in her stomach form, and knew she had to preserve some for future testing. Something was up, and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

It was at this time, on the other side of the portal, unaware of what they may have just caused, that Twilight was being throttled by Pinkie for having broken her promise

Author's Note

If you want more side stories like this, or just wish to support the Twaith universe in general, consider supporting me here. Also, this may or may not lead to more for Twaith far down the road, but as I cannot be certain, I wanted this to be not really canon to the main story.