the neet in equestria

by what the kek

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Random, Slice of Life, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Rarity, Romance
Length: 9632

James finds a genie, and wishes to go to equestria. shenanigans ensue

James finds a genie, and wishes to go to Equestria. He falls in love, and does some morally questionable things, and ends up enjoying his new life, but does Equestria enjoy him? Warning: edgy as bismuth, also NSFW

Published 2015-10-04 17:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-04 17:00:02 UTC

chapter 1: getting settled

A man named James just woke up. Before doing anything else, he noticed that there was a box at the door to his bedroom. He didn't have any clue how it got there. He walked over to the box, and picked it up. It was pretty light, so he thought that If this was a bomb, then it was the lightest bomb ever made.

James set the box down. He went to another room to get a knife to cut open the box with. He came back with one. He cut open the box, and inside was a lamp. Memories come to his mind of all the lamps he bought over the years. None of them contained genies, but could this one be the one to make all his dreams come true?

"There's no way" James assured himself, as he started to rub the lamp. Clouds of smoke started to shoot out of the lamp. The clouds started to move on their own, and formed a shape. It looked like a floating blue skinned human, with no legs, and a cloud like appearance. It folded its arms, and floated in the air.

"You get wishes" the genie vaguely stated.

"oh yes," James said. "i wish we were teleported into Equestria".

"this may temporarily mess with your vision" the genie warned. The genie clapped his hands together, and James's vision went all blurry, and kept getting blurrier, until everything he saw was white. After his vision went pure white, his eyes started to de-blurr everything, until his vision was normal again, and what he saw was that he was in Equestria. He was just outside Ponyvile.

"I wish to become an Alicorn" the genie clapped his hands together, and James's body changed from a human into an Alicorn. His body changed so fast that James didn't even notice for a second. He looked at his hooves. He looked at his reflection in a nearby pond. He turned to see what his cutie mark was. It was a a square and a right isosceles triangle with a line between them, and the line had arrow-ish ends on either end. It looked like someone put two arrows together non point end to non point end, and put it in-between the square and the triangle. James tried to lift some of the blades of grass off of the ground with magic. The grass was ripped out of the ground and thrown several inches into the air. While James was busy looking at himself in his new body, and testing out various things he can do, Twilight Sparkle walked in on this scene, and started to observe James.

"Is it everything you ever dreamed of" the genie asked jokingly.

"What does this cutie mark even mean" James says. his mind is in a semi high from the fact that he is the master of a genie now.

"I think it has something to do with transformations" Twilight Sparkle says.

"How long have you been standing there?" James asks Twilight.

"All she has seen is you looking at yourself. she has been here for about 30 seconds" the genie says.

"Genie, make this pony fall madly in love with me and only me forever".

"Can do".

"Wait, wha-" Twilights said, her sentence cut short by the clap of the genie. Twilights eyes went completely white for a moment, as the magic was affecting her.

"How do you feel, Twilight?"

"Never mind me, are you okay?" Twilight asks, moving her face just inches from James's face. This is so close that it makes James feel uncomfortable.

"Woah, personal space, Twilight" Twilight backs up a few inches. James still doesn't feel entirely comfortable with Twilight being so close, but he doesn't think he can get Twilight to move any further away, without putting out more effort than he cares to do just for the sake of making himself feel a little bit more comfortable. "I'm fine Twilight, thanks for asking".

"No problem, uhhh..." Twilight stops because she doesn't know James's name.

"My names is James" James says. at this point James notices that the genie is still looking at him, as if James were his master still. "What do you want genie? Aren't you going to fly off?"

"Why would I?" the genie asks.

"Don't genies leave after 3 wishes?".

"Who told you that? someone with a vast knowledge of genies, and their rules and powers, or just some random guy on the internet?"

"Whats the internet?" Twilight asks.

"A series of tubes" James says jokingly. This causes both James and his genie to laugh. Twilight also tries to force out a laugh, as if she understood the joke, but James and the Genie can tell that its forced. Nearby Pinkie Pie is walking along and the genie spots her.

"Hello pinkie pie" the genie says, waving his hand at her.

"Hi Harold" Pinkie Pie said, stopping to wave back at her old friend Harold.

"Our genie's name is Harold?" Twilight said with a chuckle.

"OUR?" Pinkie Pie said, looking back and forth between James and Twilight for a bit "are the two of you a couple?"

"Yes" James said.

"I love you anon" Twilight said "can we get married soon?"

"Sure" James responded.

"Why are the two so madly in love?" Pinkie Pie asked. James started to laugh. Pinkie Pie turned her head to look at Harold, and suddenly understood, although there were still things that didn't quite make sense in her mind. "i thought you couldn't make two ponies fall in love with each other".

"Where did you hear that? the internet?" Twilight said, bursting out in laughter. James laughter not only continued, but peaked as Twilight said that.

"Wait a minute" James said. He pointed at Harold, and Pinkie Pie "The two of you know each other?"

"Oh boy do i ever?" Pinkie said rhetorically "Harold here is a good friend of mine. and a friend of my friend is also a friend, so that makes us friends James" James thought about asking Pinkie how she knew his name, but decided that in the list of mysteries surrounding Pinkie pie, that was probably near the bottom in terms of 'this makes no sense whatsoever'.

"How do the two of you know each other?" James asked.

"Do you honestly think you are the first person to ever have a wish involving this universe?"

"I guess not" James said. He looked at twilight, who at this point was staring at the ground and looked a little bored "Twilight", he said, causing Twilight to look directly into James's eyes "What were you doing before i came along?"

"I was looking for spike" Twilight said. "Oh no, I hope you don't mind but I'm worried about spike".

"How many more wishes do i have?" James asked Harold.

"I don't think there is a limit" Harold lied in an attempt to get James to waste all his wishes on pointless stuff "So you have infinite more wishes".

"I wish you would tell me where spike is right now" James said. Harold clapped his hands.

"Spike is in the cutie mark crusaders clubhouse" Harold said.

"Lead the way, Twilight" James said. Twilight started to go toward the cutie mark crusaders clubhouse. James and Harold followed.

"later" Pinkie Pie said, waving to the group as they left off into the distance.

After the three of them had moved pretty close to the cutie mark crusaders clubhouse James asked "what is spike doing at the cutie mark crusaders clubhouse anyways?"

"I don't know" Twilight said. At this point they were withing eyesight of the cutie mark crusaders clubhouse. There was also loud music coming from the clubhouse, and the three of them were close enough that they could hear it. They walk up the steps to the clubhouse, and James opens the door. For his body this is a natural reaction, but his mind is not used to this body, so altogether it feels a little weird to him.

In the middle of the room Spike is laying unconscious. His penis is not fully erect, but not the polar opposite either. On the tip of his penis is semen. Standing around Spike are the three cutie mark crusaders, Applebloom, Scotaloo, and Sweetie Belle. There is also a music player making the loud noise sitting in one of the corners.

James turns the music player off with magic. "You peop- err ponies are disgusting" he says to the cutie mark crusaders.

"We didn't do anything wrong, we swear" Applebloom says.

James points to Spike "then explain this" James gently flicks Spikes penis "explain this".

"We didn't have anything to do with that, he was like that when we got here" Scootaloo said.

"Honey, perhaps you should calm down" Twilight said to James.

"Do you think these fillies are telling the truth?" James asked.

"I don't know, and I don't really care, but seeing you made like this makes me sad. I don't you to feel any sort of emotional pain or agony, or anger. Whatever these fillies did, I'm sure they had good intentions, even if their reasoning was misguided, and based off of misinformation".

"Thanks for your concern. I'm not angry, I just feel like there is something that the three of these fillies are not telling me, and i am curious" James said.

"I saw spike earlier today, he was mumbling something, and seemed to be angry" Sweetie Bele said.

"Where did you see him?".

"He was exiting the carousel boutique".

"Where is rarity right now?".

"I think she is at the carousel right now. She has a meeting with Fluttershy soon if I remember correctly".

"I'm going to go there right now" James says lifting Spike onto Twilights back. "What will you be doing?" James says to Twilight.

"I know that there is a reason that I needed spike, but I can't remember. I think I have it written down somewhere in my castle though. so I'm going there" Twilight said.

James leaves the clubhouse, and so does twilight. the two of them fly off in different directions. James flies around, and sees the boutique from the skies. he lands in front of it. Fluttershy enters the carousel, and James notices this happening. James goes into the carousel after Fluttershy, before she can even close the door.

Rarity is waiting near the door. she was waiting for Fluttershy. because Fluttershy and James entered at almost the same time, rarity assumed in her head that they at the very least knew each other, even though the two of them entering at a similar time was just a coincidence.

"You don't get to bring friends" Rarity said.

"They are not my friends" Fluttershy said.

"Who are they then?".

"I'm James, and this is Haro-".

"I'm sorry, but why are you here?"

"Well, I heard spike was here earlier, why was that?"

"That's personal, and I'm not about to reveal details of my life to some stranger. If you are just here to interigate me, then you can leave right now" Knowing that James would soon leave Harold opened the door behind James. James continued to stare at Rarity in the eyes for a few seconds.

"Do you at least know where spike went afterwards?" James asked as he turned around to start heading outside of the building.

"I think he went to Applewood acres" as soon as Rarity said that, James, already outside of the building, closed the door with magic.

"You know where that is, right?" Harold asked James.

"Its all those trees outside town. I'd think it would be nearly impossible to miss, especially while flying" James said. James took flight, and flew over to Applewood acres.

"There sure are a lot of trees here. Any specific landmarks you can think of that you might want to start your search at?"

"Can't i just wish for you to make a beacon of light appear where spike went or something?"

"Overall you have no limit on wishes, but per day you have limited wishes"Harold said, lying once again.

"Whatever" James says "I guess we should just start at that barn over there". The three of them then fly over to the barn. James can hear something going on inside the barn, and suddenly gets a suspicious feeling. He puts his ear up to the barn wall and hears what sounds like party sounds. "I can't deal with your shit right now Pinkie Pie" James flew up into the air to try and search again at another landmark. Up in the air near him was Rainbow Dash, who had spotted James a while back, and was following him because she found James suspicious.

"What were you planning on doing to pinkie pie?".

"Nothing".

"Are you a spy?".

"I never really was on your side" James says, in his best impersonation of the spy from TF2.

"What did you say?".

"Calm down, it was just a joke. I mean no harm, I swear. I'm already friends with Twilight and Pinkie Pie. In fact, me and Twilight are getting married soon".

"This is the first I'm hearing of it" Rainbow Dash said, clearly not buying it.

"lets just go and see Twilight and she will gladly confirm all of this" James said, as he started flying toward Twilight's castle.

"I'm not just going to let you near all my friends to do as you please" Rainbow says, as she flies toward James, grabing his wing, and causing him to lose balance, and start to fall. Rainbow Dash just stands there for 2 seconds before she flies downward to catch James. Twilight, flying parallel to the ground catches James while he is falling, before Rainbow can catch him.

"Are you okay James?" Twilight asks.

"Yes I'm okay" James says, getting his balance back, and flying again.

"RAINBOW DASH" Twilight yells at Rainbow Dash "how could you do that to James? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Jeez Twilight, I wasn't going to let him hit the ground. Just let him fall a little bit, just to scare him".

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"He seemed like a creep. He wanted to get near you, and he was spying on Pinkie Pie"

"Please, no need to fight over me" James said jokingly.

"As if" Rainbow said.

"Please tell Rainbow here that we are getting married soon".

"Yeah, please clear this up for me. This jokester thinks the two of you are getting married. You aren't seriously getting married to this creep, are you?".

"No, we are getting married soon. I already had spike send a letter to Celestia about it".

"WHAT? Twilight I can take a joke, but sending a letter to Celestia? You are taking this joke a little too far".

"Shouldn't that alone be proof that it isn't a joke?" Harold asked.

"Why are you marrying him?".

"Because I love him".

"How could you have fallen in love with this pony within a couple hours at best?".

"Because he made a wish and his genie friend Harold here granted it".

"WAIT WHAT? You are aware that he has tricked you into loving him, and yet you still want to mary him? Why".

"None of that matters because I love him" Twilight said. Harold starts laughing.

"You motherfucker" Rainbow said as she charged at Harold. She went right through Harold, because He was not made of material strong enough to stop Rainbow.

"Bitch, I'm made out of clouds and magic. Did you think you could even physically touch me?" Harold said, still laughing.

"Whatever" Rainbow Dash said in anger, before flying off.

"You wrote a letter to Celestia? What did the letter say?".

"Just that I met an Alicorn named James and that me and James are getting married soon".

"Do you think she will come here, to like meet me or something?".

"I don't know".

"Did you find anything out about why Spike was in the situation he was in in the clubhouse?"

"Yes".

"What did he say?".

"He said he was black out drunk, and 'didn't remember shit'. He was also very tired. I was lucky he was able to stay awake long enough to send the letter, although for some reason he looked at it for a couple seconds before sending it. Its weird that when that tired he would still take the time to look at a letter".

James' mind starts to wander. He is in Equestria. One of the ponies is in love with him. He could do anything he wanted to. He says "Twilight, lets go on a date. You pick the place".

"lets go the the Everfree forest" Twilight said.

"sure" James said. On the way there James and Twilight pass by Fluttershy's house. James notices that nopony appears to be inside the residence. They walk into the forest.

"Anywhere we could go?" James asks Twilight.

"We could go to Zekora's place".

"Take me there". The two of them start to walk toward Zekora's hut. Along the path they come across a Cockatrice.

"You know what happens if you look at this thing, right?"James takes that as a challenge. James gets close to the floor and looks at the chicken directly in the face. The chicken slowly turns into stone.

"Was that what was supposed to happen?" James asks jokingly.

"How did you do that?" Twilight asked.

"Probably something to do with my cutie mark. it seems to be related to transformations as you said, and this thing was unable to transform me, and I was able to transform it, and all of this without even any conscious effort, so it seems your earlier thoughts about my cutie mark were correct".

"That seems logical" Twilight said.

The two of them continue on toward Zekora's hut. they go up to the door.

"Who is the new one i see, accompanied by a genie?" Zekora asked.

"This is my date" Twilight said.

"We are getting married soon" James said.

"I see, but why do you tell me?" Zekora asked again.

"I don't know, this is just the first place we thought of to go to in the forest" James said.

"You wanted to come here, knowing all the danger constantly near?".

"I'm fine. what's in this forest that the princess of friendship and another random Alicorn couldn't handle?".

"If the danger doesn't scare you, then perhaps you do".

"What do you mean?".

"A date in this forest is no small task. if your love is just something to convince others, then your fate is the same as applejacks mothers'".

"We will be fine, lets just say that there is some magic helping us on that front" James says.

"Speaking of which" Twilight said "can I speak with Zekora alone for a bit James?"

"Sure thing Twilight" James said. Harold opened the door behind James, and James exited the Hut, the door being closed on them by Twilight's magic.

James sits down for a bit to relax. Thoughts of all the things he could do now run through his head. Then he notices a shadowy figure near the hut. He can barely even say the words "who are you" before the pony rushes past him, and into the hut. James rushes into the hut after the mysterious pony. "Whats going on here" he says, walking into the room. In the middle of the room there is a pot with a liquid in it, except its been tipped over, and most of the liquid has been poured out. The mystery pony was a black Alicorn named Chips, but none of the rest of the ponies in the room knew his name.

"I've been sent here to make your life hell, Twilight" said Chips.

"So how is tipping over one of Zekoras potions affecting her life in any way? Sure the initial act of doing so may be a little startling to her, but it shouldn't hold any long term effects." James said to Chips.

"I don't have to answer to you" Chips says. At this point Zekora was trying to sneak up behind Chips with a stick. Chips sensed it, and turned around and disarmed and pinned Zekora before Zekora even got close to whacking Chips with the stick. "I didn't come here for you. you can live or die, your actions will determine this. Leave now or you will die" Chips lets Zekora out of the pin, and she runs out of the hut, off into the forest.

"Twilight what is this pony talking about? What were you and Zekora even doing in here?" James asked Twilight.

"I think I can answer that. For some reason my magic didn't have the full effect it should have had on Twilight. I suspect she may have had a magic barrier up or something. Not everything she is and has been doing is an act, some of my magic did in fact get through, but most of it was blocked off, and she is only partially in love with you. Judging by what I can see, I suspect she was making some sort of potion to counter the effects of my magic".

"That's almost right, genie. that's why I destroyed the brew before it was finished. I can't have her do whatever she wants, its my mission objective to make sure that she doesn't do so" Chips said.

"Who sent you?" Twilight asked.

"Woah bitch, slow down. is what this pony is saying is true?" James asked.

"Of course not" Twilight said defensively, but in a voice that gave away the fact that she was lying.

"My name is Chips by the way" Chips said.

"Well twilight just wait until tomorrow. you will TRULY love me then" James said.

"Wishes refresh at 12:00 am tomorrow, its 6:00 pm right now" Harold clarified, realizing what James was alluding to.

"12 am" James repeated once under his breath in an attempt to drive it into his memory better.

"Just to make her life even more hellish, I can put her in a cage until then. I know that out of all things being forced to love somepony like you would anger her the most" suddenly Twilight flew directly upward, breaking a hole in the roof. Chips followed, making another hole in the hut. James stands there confused for a couple seconds while Twilight and Chips fight in the air above the hut. James can't see most of the fight because he can only see the air through two holes created by the two now fighting ponies. suddenly a cage containing Twilight falls into the Hut, creating a third hole. Chips flies back down and lands on the floor of Zekora's hut next to Twilight. "I can easily keep her like this for 6 hours. For now just do something to pass the time. Chat with ponies, do a little dance, whatever. Its not really my business".

James shrugs and leaves the Hut. "any plans now?" Harold asks.

"No. I could do something involving rarity" James says.

"I don't think the two of you got off on the right foot".

"Yeah, I should try and rectify that".

They head out of the forest. On their way to leave they get attacked by timberwolves, but James just flies up and away until they stop following. Then James lands back on the ground. When he leaves the forest he sees that Fluttershy is just entering her house. James decides that he should go and talk with her. He goes toward Fluttershy's house, and knocks at the door. Fluttershy on the other side is surprised that somepony knocked on her door so soon after she entered her own home, and thinks that perhaps this is because somepony followed her from the carousel to here.

"W-w-who is it?" Fluttershy asks.

"I'm a friend of Pinkie Pie's" James says. Fluttershy does not recognize this voice.

"Meep" Fluttershy quietly says in a corner.

"I have a talking genie" James says, knowing that if a genie qualifies as an exotic animal, Fluttershy will be all over it, like she was with Spike in the opening episode.

Fluttershy rushes out of the door and sees the genie, and quietly gasps "oh my gosh I didn't know you were the master of a genie".

"You didn't know anything about me".

"what kind of genie is he? have you made any wishes? wait a minute" fluttershy says "this genie looks a little-"

"JAMES" Luna yelled, standing behind James. James turned around. "we need to talk"

"who are you?" James asked

"don't play dumb with me." Luna said, knowing that out of any random pony, her face would be one of the most recognizable in all of Equestria. Luna used magic to make a green circle appear under James and Luna's hooves. The circle started to raise, taking the three of them up along with it. Luna casts a soundproof spell around a semicircle around the two of you.

"Okay, Luna what did you want to talk about" james said as soon as they got a good distance from the ground.

"I assume by now you have met Chips?".

"Yeah".

"He is your friend. you can trust him to help you. i think you already know that by now though".

"So why is he trying to fuck with Twilight?".

"Simply put" Luna said, pausing for a moment "she needs to be put out of commission".

"Then why didn't Chips kill her when I was with her?" James asked.

"Who says he hasn't by now" this causes Harold to laugh.

"That sneaky bastard" Harold said.

"But what about all the ponies who saw me with her, and saw all the things i did with her?"

"Don't you think I have all that covered? I'm the princess of dreams. I can delete all these memories by simply making them all think that their interactions with you were only a dream. I've done it before, and it works just fine".

"Why did Twilight need to die?".

"She had too much power. When I take over the throne, the only ponies with power, will be ponies who are on my side, speaking of which" she moves her face really close to James' face.

"I'm on your side Luna" James said.

Luna moves her face away from James' face, and says "Good, I'd kill you if you said otherwise. Celestia being Twilights mentor for the longest time, would obviously side with her in the event of a fight. You seem like a powerful Alicorn, that's the only reason I care about you".

"That and I have a genie on my side".

"He isn't perfect. That little fuck up earlier today with making Twilight love you proves just that. If anything he is only maybe twice as good as twilight at magic. He also only responds to wishes, and won't willingly use his magic at other times. I'm sure like all genies he also has other rules and limitations on top of all that".

"What about all the ponies who will wonder what happened to twilight?"

"They will think she went into the forest got lost there. Its not an impossible thought".

"But if memories of me are forgotten, then what would be the reason for her going into the forest?"

"Specifics like that won't matter because I will cause a large scene that will take ponies off of those thoughts. They won't waste time thinking about Twilights death after what I'm about to do" Luna said, alluding to her plan to kill Celestia and take the throne.

"What about the letter Twilight sent to Celestia. Surely out of all people, she would be resistant to you tampering with her memories inside of her dreams".

"Spike is already on my side. He never let that letter never get anywhere near Celestia, Spike sent the letter directly to me. Most of these average ponies are too weak minded to even think twice about weather or not a memory was a dream or not. That combined with some help from your genie is probably all the convincing they need"

"What about me? How do i fit into all this? How do we fit into your master plan? Did you know that we were coming?" Harold asks

"I had no idea you were coming, but leading Twilight into the forest, at least gives a reasonable excuse for her being missing. where did you come from anyway?" Luna asked James.

"I've wanted to meet twilight for a while now, so I searched for a genie lamp. When I found one I wished to be near Twilight" James said, avoiding specifics about where he was from because he doesn't know how ponies would react if they found out where he was really from.

"Sorry about killing her" Luna said to James.

"No problem. To be honest if I didn't think I would be put in prison soon after, I would have wished to be near you instead" James lied. he wouldn't have wished for half the things he wished for, but the fact that he actually found a genie put him in a sort of high, where his mind was running too fast, and he wasn't thinking properly.

"So whats the next step in your 'master plan'" Harold asked

"My plan is nearly complete. One of the last steps in it, getting rid of twilight, has been executed. The final step, killing Celestia, is coming tomorrow, But to do that I need to return to my abode" Luna said. she used magic and the three of them were warped into Luna's bedroom.

"So what do i get if i help you kill your sister?" James asked Luna, after looking around the room for a second, as well as thinking.

"You can live wherever you want. you will have a high status, and guards will build a house on whatever piece of land you want, and you will legally own it. But if you help me out with this, know that ponies will likely not look at you too kindly. I will kill you if you refuse this offer, though, so its not like you have much of a choice. Stay here until I get back" Luna said before leaving the room. James and Harold sat in science for a bit.

Harold started to speak"This is certainly more interesting than what my last master did, But alas, I am not of this world. My magic doesn't work very well here, as seen by the fact that it could be blocked by other magic. Not only that but I feel I am getting weaker very rapidly. At this rate I won't even make it through the night. I will give you half of my power, and then return to earth". His body transformed back into the clouds that he originally formed out of. A bottle appeared out of nowhere, and the clouds formed into two clusters. One cluster forced itself into the bottle, and the other vanished. James drinks the bottle. He feels a lot more powerful. After that he waits there for Luna to come back.

There isn't much in the room. There is a door, a bed, and a sliding glass door that leads to a balcony, that is currently blocked off by a curtain. James quickly gets bored. Just sitting on the floor. He thinks about what Luna is doing right now. He looks at the bed. He wonders what would happen if other ponies entered the room. Out of the many scenarios that play out in his mind, none of the likely ones seem good. He decides to hide under the bed, and pull the bedding over the bed so that anypony, except ponies who explicitly move the bedding, will not see him.

James waits under the bed for a bit mulling over various thoughts. After a couple moments two mares enter the room. They close the door. They are giggling, and one of them has a camera.

"I can't believe you actually talked me into doing this" one of the ponies said.

"Don't worry, Luna shouldn't be back for a couple minutes. We have plenty of time to snap a photo, and get out of here." said the other pony, getting in front of the bed "now get on the bed you little slut" the other pony got on the bed, and posed in a lewd position where her ass and vagina were clearly visible. James could feel that one of the ponies got on the bed from the fact that the bed sagged down a little due to her weight. "Nice" said the pony as she took a photo. The pony quickly got up after her photo was taken.

"Lets get the fuck out of here" the pony who's photo was taken said, rushing toward the door again. The other pony also rushed out of the room, forgetting to close the door.

James goes through a mini panic in his head about what to do about the door. He decides that he would be better off if the door was closed, but the act of closing the door could be enough to draw then attention of unwanted ponies.

After a couple minutes of panic, Luna enters the room again. She closes the door and locks it. "What are you doing under the bed you silly pony?" Luna asks, bending down a little to see under the bed sheets, which she lifted up with magic.

"Two ponies came in here, one of them went on this bed, and the other snapped a photo of the one on the bed. I was hiding from them to avoid unwanted attention" James said.

"Who cares. they are gone now, and the door is locked, its safe for you to come out".

"Who has a key?" James asked.

"My sister, and a couple other important ponies, but nobody who would even give a shit about me enough to enter this room on this random night" James slides out from under the bed. "What happened to your genie friend?"

"He said that his magic doesn't work so well in this universe, so he split himself in half and game half of his power to me, and the rest of him warped away".

"OH, so you came from another universe?"

"uhh ohhh..." James stuttered.

"I don't mind, as long as I can be sure you will be on my side, you could be from anywhere and I wouldn't mind" Luna noticed that James still looked worried. "I won't question you about where you are from. That is all in the past now, and you are clearly very protective of what has happened to yourself".

"So what do we do now?".

"Oh yeah, normal ponies go to sleep at this hour" Luna said, sounding a little sad.

"Why do you sound sad? Did you have something planned?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to stay up the whole night and like talk and stuff"

"Well in the other universe when I teleported here, I had just woken up, but when I went here, it was already afternoon. the interdimensional jet lag will allow me to stay up through the night if I really want to" Luna didn't know what the term jet lag itself meant, but could figure out its meaning from context clues in the sentence.

"You'd do that for me? You're the best James".

"So are we going to get to erasing ponies memories?"

"Yeah. From what I can tell I need to change the memories of around 50 ponies. Think you can use magic afterwards to help change their minds even more?".

"Yeah".

"good" Luna said. She went into the bed and fell asleep. She wasn't underneath anything. James sat on the floor. He sat there for a couple minutes looking at Luna. He decided to take a quick peak at her vagina, but quickly looked away, in case Luna suddenly woke up or something. He looked around the room, and tried to find ways to occupy his mind, though he quickly got bored.

He came up with an idea. He tried a spell to transform his body into a transparent version of himself. It didn't look perfect, in fact were it daytime this disguise would be almost worthless, but at this time of night and as long as he stays mostly still around ponies, nopony should see him.

Making as little noise as possible, James slid behind the curtains and left through the sliding glass door. He jumps off the edge, and slowly descends to the ground outside the castle. He aimlessly walks around Canterlot, either rushing into the nearest spot of darkness, or standing perfectly still whenever a pony comes near. He does this for a while, trying to see if he can notice anypony. He notices that rarity's boutique is in Canterlot. looking through a window he can see a half asleep rarity trying to put together a princess dress.

He goes into a dark place nearby and makes sure nopony is nearby, and then he uses another spell to try and transform himself into looking like the first unicorn that comes to his mind, Trixie. The spell hides his wings, although they are still physically there if anyone tried to touch them. This time he looks a little better, but not perfect. Trying to fool anyone into thinking that he is actually Trixie, would be almost impossible to anyone who has actually seen Trixie, but not to someone who is half asleep, or in the darkness of night.

He walks up to the door and is surprised that it isn't locked. He opens the door, and a little sound happens when he opens the door. This gets rarity a lot more awake in the other room. She looks out the window and sees that it's nighttime. She is still very tired, and was about to fall asleep, but she gets up to at least check who came in, and lock the door.

"Trixie?" she says as she enters the main room, wiping her eyes.

"Trixie?" James says "who is that? No, i am the great and powerful Trippy".

"Right whatever" rarity says, wiping her eyes some more, not fully understanding what was just said to her "you get a sex change or something?".

"I told you, I am not, nor was I ever the great and powerfull trixie".

"Okay trixie" rarity says, not having comprehended what exactly James just said. "Could you leave now? I was busy making dresses, and I guess I forgot to lock the door or something, but we aren't open for buisness yet, not till tomorrow".

"sure thing rarity" James said, leaving the place. he was still looking at the door he was closing then he turned his head to see Luna standing in front of him. she was wearing a disguise.

"We need to talk 'Trippy'" she said, trying to disguise her voice a little. It wasn't until James heard her voice that he even knew who this pony was. James tried to say something, but all that came out was stuttering. "Don't worry, the plan is not compromised, far from it. We need to meet up with Chips. He is in a nearby building" the two of them, both disguised, then walked around town until they reached a small building. They entered the building.

Inside Chips was sitting on a chair. There was a desk, with a chair near it. Chips was sitting on this chair. The room was square.

"Luna" Chips said, quickly getting up from the chair "who is this?" He asked, pointing to James, who looked like trixie.

"Oh, im sorry" James said, allowing the spell to wear off, and reveal his true shape. Chips could tell who James was now. Luna took off her clothes. To Chips, and to 99% of ponies, this wouldn't mean anything, but James' human mind thought that this was quite a lewd act. James stared at this act that Luna was doing.

"What are you staring at?" Luna asked James as she was undressing. Chips was looking at the scene that was unfolding before him, and was putting things together in his head. As he was doing this, he went over and locked the door.

"Uhh... nothing i guess".

After getting fully undressed, Luna walked over to the desk, and opened one of the drawers, and took out a penicll and a paper. She started to write down the names of all the ponies who she had to alter the memories of, and how they needed to be altered, as well as a few other things.

"Luna said that we are friends" Chips said to James.

"She said that to me too, but why are you my friend?" James said.

"I didn't kill you, right?"

"No".

"So we must have been friends already. That's why I spared your life".

"But what about Zekora? Why didn't you kill her then?"

"She wasn't an obsticle. Her memories could be erased later on, as we are doing now. You however, were an unpredictable variable. You had a genie, and were less afraid of me than zekora, and were an Alicorn with an unknown amount of power. I could have just killed you there, but I didn't, because we were friends".

"Why are we friends though? Have I met you?"

"Maybe in another life" .

"What does that mean?" James asked, getting no response from Chips other than a smile. Luna handed a paper with a spell on it to James. She also set another paper with a list of names on the floor.

Luna started to speak to the group "Use this spell on this paper here. Chips, use the same spell on the paper here. I will also be using magic on the paper. If this works, then everyponies memories will be altered the way I want them to. To be honest, their memories should already be altered, but this magic is just another way to make sure their memories are altered exactly the way I want them to be". The three of them positioned themselves in a sort of triangle around the paper on the floor, and when Luna said 'go' they all started using magic on the paper.

After about a minute Luna said 'stop' and the three of them stopped. James collapsed almost as soon as he finished the spell, and fell asleep seconds later. He did this because hid body was not used to using magic for extended periods of time, and he was already pretty tired anyway.

"Did he just fall asleep?" Luna asked.

"That appears to be the case" Chips said.

James woke up to Chips shoving him. Chips told James "get up friend, we have things to discuss" and James got up.

"Okay, here is the plan" Luna says, motioning for James and Chips to come closer. The three of them huddle their heads together . "I will go to Celestia's room. I will wake her up, and start to talk to her about some random bullshit. Then at a certain point I will knock down a lamp in another room with magic, anon, you and chips will be in that room. James, when you see that lamp knocked down, you will rush into the room I am in. I have drawn arrows on the ground that will light up with my magic, and are only clearly visible during these times, and will point you to the room Celestia is in, so there is no chance of you getting lost. Just follow those arrows. Make sure Celestia looks at you when you enter, yell something loud and stupid, like 'oh my god the castle is on fire' or maybe just 'fire'. Chips, when you hear or see the lamp fall, remove the ceiling tile, and fly upward, just like we practiced, then continue along with plan A22 just as we practiced. Everypony here, don't worry about anypony else, just assume that they are doing what they have to, and stick to the plan. Worry about your own skin, if this plan fails all three of us could die, and at the very least will become criminals. Any questions?" Luna paused for a second to let any questions be asked, but nopony else said anything. "Now we need to head toward the castle. The room is a janitor supply closet located pretty close to Celestia's room. Follow me, I will let you into the castle, and the guards outside already know what to do when they see me there".

Luna gets dressed up back in her disguise. The three of them walk through town to the castle. When you get there, Luna pulls of her mask, and the guards let the three of them in.

When inside Luna walked around for a while. Several guards gave the group nasty looks, but none of them actually said anything. After walking for a while Luna stopped next to a door and pointed right. Chips instantly realized what that meant, and he went into the room behind the door. It took James a second longer to realize what Luna's action meant, but only a few seconds and he was right behind Chips in getting into the room.

The room was a janitor supply closet, just as Luna said. And there was a lamp on top of a chair. James correctly assumed that this was the lamp that Luna was talking about. James just stood there bored for a minute before he finally said to Chips "so did you actually-".

"Yes" Chips replied, cutting James off.

"Why? Just because Luna told you to?"

"Bingo".

"We-" James said, cutting himself off after processing the response that Chips gave. He wasn't prepared for Chips to actually answer yes.

"Luna told me what happened to your genie friend in my dreams. No need for you to tell me" Chips said to James. The two of them sit in the closet that hardly has enough space for about five minutes, and then suddenly the lamp gets surrounded in a magic aura the same color as Luna's, and slides off of the chair. "Have fun" Chips said, flying up, and quickly removing the ceiling tile, and then flying up into the walling of the castle.

James rushed out of the door, and saw that on the floor there was an arrow on the ground that emitted blue light pointing to his left, and that a couple meters along in the direction the arrow was pointing there was another similar arrow, and this pattern continued until one of the arrows pointed right some way along the hallway. James followed the arrows, and was surprised that no guards were anywhere along the paths he was going along. He thinks that Luna must have planned for no guards to be here, but if she had this planned this well, then who would be in his place had he not shown up? He is also very excited and nervous. suddenly he sees a guard. The guard doesn't react to James, but in response, James starts to run a lot faster. Eventually he is so busy just looking at the floor and running as fast as he can, in the direction the arrows show, that he runs straight into the door without even realizing it. "oh fuck" he says under his breath in pain, before he opens the door with magic. "FIRE" he yells into the room.

Celestia quickly turns her head to look at James, and opens her mouth to say something, but behind her an arrow is shot by chips who entered the room from a ceiling tile he just removed, the arrow pierces her skull from behind, exiting out her eye, and stopping when about half the arrow is sticking out of her eye. A spatter of blood is shot out of the front of her face, and some gets on James. A couple seconds later another arrow is shot by chips, and pierces her other eye, causing more blood spatter on the floor and even more of the blood splatter gets on James' face. Chips flies over to Celestia's body, pulls out a knife, and starts to cut off Celestia's head. At this point, James turns away in disgust. Looking outside the room he sees a pony with a camera. This pony takes a photo of James looking at the camera with his bloody face, Chips sawing off Celestia's head, and Luna waving to the camera, trying to look as photogenic as possible. He then quickly leaves after taking the photo. James starts to run toward after the pony, and is outside the room when Luna stops him with her words.

"Stop, James. He is on our side. Don't chase him. Whats the point in killing Celestia, if nopony knows she is dead?" Luna said. "You should get back into this room. A whole bunch of guards will probably be here soon, and if you stand out there, I cannot guarantee your safety, stay behind me, the guards will not hurt you if you do" terrified out of his mind that he is now a criminal, and that he might otherwise get killed, he runs back into the room, and hides behind Luna. A whole bunch of guards rush into the entryway to the room, and are suddenly stopped by Luna's voice. "Celestia is no more. I am your new leader now" while saying all this, Chips hands Luna the severed Head of Celestia "Hang this up in a public area for all to see" she said, tossing the head into the crowd of guards. One of them catches it. "Go hang it outside some new shop or something, make it popular or whatever, I don't give a fuck. Now clear out a path for me" Luna said. The guards moved out of the way, and Luna walked through the path they made. Slowly all of the guards started to drain out of the room.

"How fast will news reach ponyvile, news that I'm involved in all of this" James asked chips.

"To be honest" Chips said "It will probably be less than two hours before news gets there. if you hurried now, you probably wouldn't even make it there before the news. Considering the large ramifications that the death of Celestia will have, the news will likely travel there even faster. Maybe if you were as fast as- say - the wonderbolts, maybe you'd have a couple minute window,bu-".

"I get the point. everyone will know I was involved in the killing of celestia before I can even get there and explain myself".

"Everyone? Well, I guess that confirms my suspicions".

"what?"

"That you came from earth, like me".

"WHAT? you came from earth?"

"Well, technically I was just visiting for a bit. I was" Chips paused for a second "born and raised here".

"What things gave away that I was from earth? Is this why you didn't kill me?"

"Who do you think set that box in your house?"

"You did that?"

"Yes. The genie was sick, and would die within a couple hours anyway. He was of no use to me. The worst he could do with his magic is maybe a couple things. He certainly did more than i thought he could, I'll give him that, but I just wanted to mess around, so i set his lamp in a box and put it in a random house. I figured 'whats the worst that could happen'. His decline, had nothing to go with entering this universe".

"Wait, then why didn't Harold recognize you?"

"I was disguised as a human while on earth".

"are we still friends?"

"Luna trusts you, and you did what she asked of you, which allowed the plan to work properly. i guess i can trust you enough to be friends. we can discuss our friendship later, but for now, I must go see Luna" Chips said, leaving the room through the door that now none of the guards were huddled around anymore. James just stood there for a second, watching James leave before he started to wonder when Luna was going to fulfill her part of the deal.

James sits down on top of the dead body with his head in his hands, and just tries to process what just happened,among other things. He sits there for a few moments, then a Guard enters the room. "Luna wishes to speak with you, sir"

"Why?"

"Do I look like I know whats going on around here? If anything I should ask you wh- but I won't because that's not my job, nor is it my place to speak. All i know for sure is that Luna has requested you, and you need to come with me" James walked toward the guard, and followed him.

The guard lead James to a large room with a whole bunch of images made in the glass on the walls. Luna, Chips, as well as most of the royal guard was there. Luna was drunk, and this was obvious to James for several reasons, one of the most obvious indicators being that she had a bottle with a liquid that smelled alcoholic inside it. "Hey James how's it going man?" Luna said to James.

"Fine I guess. I'm kind of worried that the other ponies won't accept me, being that I killed a princess" James said

"Don't worry 'bout it, this shit happens all the time. Hey, you wanna be a knight of Canterlot? Don't answer that, because you already are, and I'm not going to change it."

"Luna, I can live anywhere I want now, right?"

"Sure, guards, follow this pony around, and build him a house where he asks. But only like 5 of you or so. And come back in a day or so, all 6 of you"

"Thank you Luna" James pointed to what looked like the 5 strongest unicorns and one at a time said "you. You. You. You. And you" the five unicorns started to follow James around.

"WOOOOOOO, I'm king of the world" Luna said, flying into the air. She took another drink out of the bottle she was holding on to. She made a magic bouble around her and flew directly toward a glass pane that depicted Celestia doing something. "Fuck you bitch" she yelled as the glass broke. James walked out of the room.

"How high am I in status?" James asked the guards.

"A bit below Luna. But that's pretty high, considering that Celestia has recently died".

"Whatever. Im basically second in command here unless Cadience shows up out of nowhere. The five of you, take me to Ponyvile" James said. The five of them started to go to Ponyvile when suddenly in the middle of Canterlot, James noticed that hardly anypony was outside. The streets were literally more lively when it was nighttime. James stopped to think about what this might affect. If everything is closed then what about the dresses that rarity was making? "I'm basically in charge here, right?" James asked his guards.

"Basically. I don't think Luna would even notice if we were gone for several days, she is drunk with power, and alcohol".

"I can go wherever I want though, right" James asked.

"Sure, I guess".

"I'm going to see how rarity is doing. It seems that a lot of her creative talent might go to waste, if the opening of her shop happens on the same day as Celestia's death. Hey, do you know where the pony with Celestia's head is right now?"

"Nopony has Celestia's head, it has already been placed somewhere".

"Do you know where Celestia's head is?"

"Yes".

"Take me there, I want to move her head somewhere else. Luna didn't seem to care that much about WHERE it was placed, so if I move it, she probably still won't care, or even notice" the group moved to an area where the head was placed. On the way there he said "I'm going to move Celestia's head right in front of a pony I know named Rarity's shop here in Canterlot, the 5 of you will help me with this". It was placed in the middle of the street where rows of buildings were lined on either side. It was on a tall metal pole, and a small crowd of ponies were "kneeling" at it. They all were quite sad, and several ponies had tears going down their faces. James and his group walked up to the pole.

"Excuse us" James said, as his group surrounded the pole.

"What are you doing?" one of the ponies asked, as the group of the six of them started to lift the pole out of the ground.

"Hey, aren't you one of the ponies who killed Celestia?" Asked a different pony who was pointing to James.

"You evil pony, how could you?" said another.

"Who the hell are you anyway?" yet another asked.

Desperately trying to not drop the metal pole, James tried to answer some of the ponies "we are moving this"

"Why, wasn't killing her enough?"

"Look, the plan that lead up to her death was pretty far along even before I came into the picture. If I wasn't here, Luna would have found somepony else would to place in Celestia's killing. The plan was Luna's idea mostly anyway" James and the five other gaurds had laid the pole on its side now, and three of them were carrying it on either side.

"Where are you taking that pole?" one of the ponies asked.

"Follow me, if you wish to be the first to see" James said, walking away with the statue.