Sunset Shimmer Goes to The Zoo

by KitsuneRisu

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Comedy, Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3020

Sunset Shimmer visits the zoo Yay!

Hooray Animals! Sunset Shimmer sees all the animals! She is very happy to see all the animals.

Today she went to the zoo with her best friend New Twilight! They had a lot of fun! Come read about their funs!

Sunset Shimmer had a great time!

This story is tagged Dark Comedy. I mean it.

Published 2015-10-01 18:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-01 18:50:02 UTC

Happy days!

One day it was a Saturday.

There was no school on Saturday so Sunset Shimmer didn’t have to go to school. Sunset Shimmer could go back to Equestria to her family! But her father sometimes had to go to school on Saturday, but his school was called ‘work’, and sometimes he called it naughty things that Sunset Shimmer didn’t want to repeat because then she would get a beating in the face.

Today on this not-school day, her daddy had to go to work and her mommy was still dead, so Sunset Shimmer was all alone. And All Alone meant that Sunset Shimmer sometimes stayed at home and picked paint off the walls.

All Alone meant that Sunset Shimmer sometimes chased the cockroaches in the kitchen in a fun game she liked to call ‘who gets the food?’.

All Alone meant that Sunset Shimmer sometimes counted the open beer bottles in the TV room, because counting was fun!

But today, Sunset Shimmer didn’t want to have all-alone fun. She wanted to have happy party fun! She had made a new friend recently at a silly little competition that no one cared about or remembered.

For you see, one of her old friends had to go away because she was a dirty traitor, but it was lucky that the new friend was exactly like her old friend except that the new friend had cuter glasses, which made her better.

Therefore New Twilight was the only Twilight now in Sunset’s life.

And there was no one else!

Sunset had used the magic of fire and love to destroy her special communication book because she didn’t need her old friends any longer.

“Darn you!” she would cry, as her tears failed to extinguish the flames that leapt from the pages of the friendship journal.

“You idiot!” she would sob, as she stamped upon the blackened carbon cover for good measure.

“Why won’t you come see me?” she would wail, a gurgle pulsing forth from her glottis, as a shot of pain trickled straight down into her chest. But there was no response.

There was never a response.

But today was a beautiful day, for Sunset had a new friend now! And New Twilight was so much better than Old Twilight!

New Twilight was like a toy car that worked. One with all her wheels attached. In fact, Sunset felt that New Twilight had too many wheels sometimes! It was the way New Twilight smiled at everyone. It was the way New Twilight looked past her glasses, almost as if she didn’t really need them. But she surely did need them! Why, if New Twilight lost her glasses, she wouldn’t be able to see, and that would be funny!

Sunset Shimmer went to see New Twilight on that Saturday.

New Twilight was glad to see her. New Twilight was always very glad to see Sunset Shimmer. After the competition that no one cared about or remembered, New Twilight was always spending a lot of time with her new bestest of buds Sunset Shimmer.

Today, Sunset Shimmer decided to go to a magical, wonderful place with New Twilight – a place that she had never been before because she was rarely often allowed to leave the house when she was younger! She brought over a brochure with many wonderful pictures and magical blocks of text, but hid it behind her back like a crafty little sneaky fox so as to surprise New Twilight with the wonderment of this place.

“Hey, Twilight!” she said, when New Twilight answered the door.

“Oh, hey! Hey!” New Twilight responded. “Sunset! Great! Great to see you. I mean, yeah, I was just thinking about you and all, and…”

“Hey, so, Twilight!” Sunset interrupted her out of excitement. “So there’s this place, right?”

“Uh… yeah?” New Twilight frowned. She didn’t like being interrupted much! Interrupting is actually really rude! But it’s okay when you’re excited or angry enough.

“It’s a place where you can see some really cool and weird things!” Sunset said. “Well, actually, they’re ferocious beasts and menaces to society.”

New Twilight frowned even more. She must have been deep in thought!

“But it’s okay, because the nice men keep them all locked up, away where they can’t hurt noone. And everyone can go and watch and point and laugh at them!” Sunset described excitedly.

“Wait,” New Twilight said.

“And you can watch them eating… or sleeping… and when they’re not doing that, they’re just walking around in circles in their play-yards! Do you know what I’m talking about?” Sunset asked, clenching her fists.

“You’ve been to juvie?” New Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That’s right, it’s the zoo!” Sunset Shimmer screamed, thrusting the pamphlet into New Twilight’s face.

New Twilight reached out and grabbed Sunset by the wrist, dragging it down in that fun way she always did.

“Ow!” Sunset yelped. But it was okay, it was worth the pain to have a friend!

“Huh,” New Twilight said, staring at the brochure. “Looks lame.”

“O-oh, but it’s really good, Twilight,” Sunset said. “I… I love animals. I love seeing all the fluffy bunnies and cute little rabbits, and also there’s hoppity coneys!”

“Those are the same three animals, Sunset,” New Twilight released her friend, throwing the brochure to Spike, who ate it. “You just described the same animal three times.”

“Yes, but I love rabbits!”

“They don’t have rabbits at the zoo, Sunset.” New Twilight explained. She was always so smart!

“Ooooooh.” Sunset nodded. “I get it! Well, maybe we can see other animals, huh?”

“Look, that’s… I mean, yeah. Okay. That’s cool and all, but listen, why don’t you come in and we’ll… hang out?” New Twilight smirked.

“Oh, hang out? Again?” Sunset asked, as her smile turned upside down.

For you see, whenever Sunset popped around to New Twilight’s house, New Twilight often wanted for Sunset to simply ‘hang out’. But Sunset didn’t like that very much. There were a lot of sharp things in New Twilight’s house, and New Twilight was often accidentally poking Sunset with them.

After Sunset had been poked enough and a lot of the Painful Red had come out, New Twilight would try to kiss her. But that was kinda weird and a bit uncomfortable, so Sunset often said no. But New Twilight had a way with words, and usually was able to convince Sunset to kiss, usually around the second poke.

But today, Sunset Shimmer really wanted to see the cute little bunnies at the zoo, so she said no.

And New Twilight gave the cute little frumpy face.

Sunset really liked Twilight’s frumpy face! It looked like when she sat on a marshmallow. But marshmallows didn’t twitch and that’s why New Twilight’s frumpy face was better.

“Oh, please!” begged Sunset. “I really want to see these animals!”

New Twilight didn’t respond for a while.

But finally, after many seconds of thinking, New Twilight finally nodded.

“Fine,” she said. “Okay. We can go to the zoo. But how about something in return?”

“What?” Sunset asked.

“Well, you know what I want,” New Twilight said.

“No kissing!” Sunset yelled.

“It’s not the ki–” New Twilight said furiously, burying her head in her hand. “Look, I’ve explained this. Intense emotional escalation due to physical stimulation of any sort prompts the release of the Legerdemain Equestria particle.”

“I… don’t understand!” Sunset wailed.

“Nevermind. I just wish you’d make it easier, like the others. It’d all be so much simpler! Fine then, we’ll go to the zoo. But give me five minutes to get my stuff. This’ll be a good chance to test out my running hypothesis, anyway.”

With a huff, New Twilight slammed the door, leaving poor, poor Sunset alone once again, just like how Old Twilight jumped into the mirror and left her bitterly, bitterly in solitude, where, every day, flowers and sandwiches would be brought to the mirror in hopes that one day Twilight would come back.

But she would never come back.

And now there were only maggots.

The door opened again, and Sunset clapped in joyous glee at the return of her friend New Twilight, who now had a large knapsack on her back.

It was as full as her normal studies bag, which was already full as all gosh-darn, due to the number of books that she was always reading at any one time. There were an awful lot of books about fringe psychology, and some about crazy magic theories! Principal Celestia sure didn’t like those books in school.

Once, New Twilight lent little Scootaloo some sort of cookbook. But it wasn’t any normal cookbook! Scootaloo blew up snails with it! And all the parents had to get involved, and it was a big kerfuffle, but it was all in good fun.

Once, New Twilight gave Miss Cheerilee a book about bell jars, which were perfectly fun and scientific, but after reading it, Miss Cheerilee wasn’t so cheery any longer. And then New Twilight continued to give her fun books about history, specifically the year 1984, which was a terribly exciting year, and books on pet ownership, especially about men and the care of mice, and a whole lot more. And then Miss Cheerilee stopped going to school.

Once, New Twilight was approached by Vice-Principal Luna about her books. But then New Twilight gave her a very special gift. It was a scrapbook with all of Vice-Principal Luna’s family in it! It had lovely pictures of her house, and her mumsy and daddy, and her newborn baby nephews, and her sister and all their other relatives, and the gift was so lovely that Vice-Principal Luna never bothered her again!

Everyone loved New Twilight!

Today was going to be great fun!

~

When they reached the zoo, New Twilight was in a curious mood. She refused to see the animals, and would rather watch all the other people who were walking around.

While Sunset was enjoying the piggies and the giraffes and the bounding antelope and the callous hyenas and the massive elephants and the scary crocodiles and the damp buffalo, New Twilight was milling about, looking at the sky or the floor or the shadows in the corners.

“Look, Twilight!” Sunset called out, pointing at the silly flamingos. “They’re pink!”

“Look, Twilight!” Sunset called out, pointing at the badgers. “They look like bandits!”

“Look, Twilight!” Sunset called out, pointing at the rhinoceroses. “Look at the horns!”

“Yeah, whatever,” New Twilight said, looking around. The crowd had begun to thin. “Hey, wanna see something fun?”

“Sure, Twilight! I always want to see something fun!” Sunset said.

New Twilight took out a device from her bag. She was always full of devices! There were devices for everything. New Twilight used them at school a lot, too. Most of them were very helpful – like when she needed to get things done.

There was always a device for everything.

Today’s device took the head off a giraffe!

It did so with speed and efficiency, just like how New Twilight liked it. It did so with special magic blades that stuck out and pointed everywhere, and they shot out from some sort of thing and had chains on and it was sharp and it was painful and the Painful Red went everywhere and Sunset started to feel not so good.

“T-twili…” Sunset murmured. It was silly that she couldn’t get all her words out, but something stuck in her throat was blocking the words! Silly Sunset. “Wh… what did…”

“Yeah, I… look. It’s dead now. Cool, huh?”

The giraffe floppity-flopped to the ground, its body kicking up dust. There were a lot of silly people screaming everywhere! Screaming and screaming, just like the echoes in Sunset’s mind! Just like those voices that were trapped behind the walls. Where did the walls lead? Where?

“Now, look at this.” New Twilight said, taking out a new device. This was a device that made things hot! You could cook a stew with it, or light a beautiful campfire with it. It was great!

There was a funny smell that rose into the air when the chimpanzees caught on fire! Silly monkeys. They lived in trees, and trees were ever so flammable. It was their fault, really, and they smelled even worse than normal!

Some of them tried to swing away, like little floating fireballs that danced with the branches, but eventually all of them pretended to be shooting stars and crashed into the ground.

“I... “ Sunset said. Her heart was being naughty today, and wouldn’t beat right. It made her hair stand and become prickly, like the porcupines that New Twilight just stabbed in the eyes. It made her skin clammy and wet, like the poor dolphins that lay on the sidewalk. It made her head fuzzy, like the bunnies that weren’t there because zoos don’t have bunnies.

Sunset felt her skin sparkle and tingle. She felt her nerves burn with electricity. All around her were the screams, yelling, and shouting. On such a beautiful day, too! And the laughter, there was the laughter that was so, so very familiar.

But soon, even the screams stopped, and only the laughter remained.

There was a device for everything.

Sunset Shimmer gasped.

New Twilight was holding out a pendant, a clamshell, that was buried at the very edges of Sunset’s mind.

And Sunset looked at it, entranced, drawn to it, staring at it as it enlarged in her vision, until it was the only thing in her mind and eyes and heart.

Sunset felt herself leave her body. She felt her soul being ripped from the shallow carcass of her body, and she knew she was leaving it behind, but yet, she wasn’t.

It was a peculiar feeling, as if her limbs were being removed piece by piece without pain but with complete sensation. And she felt herself being beckoned by the amulet that lay in New Twilight’s upturned palm. Sunset, breathing heavily, could barely turn to look at her friend for some sort of explanation.

But New Twilight didn’t look like New Twilight anymore. She looked like someone else.

The edges of Sunset’s vision blackened as she fell to her knees. White lines streaked inward, as sound started to dull into a fuzz, and everything lost colour.

The figure that used to be New Twilight turned, holding out another hand, and with a wave, a shining shimmering light, like a mirage on a plate, appeared.

Sunset Shimmer felt the empty spaces in her mind grow and grow like an infestation, and she turned her head up weakly, scratching at her throat. The figure that stood there was entrenched in fire, an otherworldly glow. Her face was familiar, yet not, but somehow, it drove a knife over and over into Sunset’s brain. Over and over.

It was that day, wasn’t it? The competition that no one cared about and no one remembered.

Sunset’s eyes widened.

~

It was a great day! It was a Saturday, or a Sunday! Or whatever! It didn’t matter. Today was extra-super special!

Today they were hanging out in New Twilight’s basement! Sunset didn’t remember how they got there, but it was okay. Hanging out with New Twilight was the best!

New Twilight pulled away the sharp pokey thing and wiped up the dot of Painful Red from Sunset’s arm.

She snuffled.

“Okay,” New Twilight said with her frumpy face and her cute glasses. “That was an interesting experiment. It once again proves that hate and fear brings out the Legerdemain Equestria far more efficiently. Who knew? And they were talking such rot about being true to oneself and all that. Do you have any idea what I’m talking about?”

Sunset shook her head no! Except that she couldn’t shake her head right, because it was so wobbly. But she had to try to be honest! She didn’t understand, but that was okay, because New Twilight said so.

“Good,” New Twilight said. “Now, my love. My dear. Please remind me. Who was the one who abandoned you?”

“O-old Twilight…” Sunset muttered. Her voice sounded like it was on a tape being played back over and over! It was funny and scratchy and sounded the same all the time.

“That’s right. No one’s coming to be your friend. Ever. Those from the other side abandoned you. The portal closed a long time ago. You were right to burn your magic book. Now, tell me. Who is your friend?”

Who was her friend? That was a silly question. Sunset knew the answer! Well… there were maybe a few answers!

“F-flutte–”

New Twilight swung her arm as fast as a professional baseballer! And wham right into Sunset’s cheek. Now Sunset’s cheek would be all bruised!

Who was her friend? That was a silly question. Sunset knew the answer!

“Y-you are, of course,” Sunset said with her Tape voice. “Only you.”

“Oh, my dear, of course I am,” New Twilight said. “And I’ll protect you, won’t I?”

“Yes, you will,” Sunset said.

“Because I love you, and I’ll take good care of you.”

“Y-yes you will,” Sunset agreed.

New Twilight leaned in closer. “I’m sorry dear, for having to hit you. You will forgive me, won’t you?”

“Yes, Twilight. I… I will forgive you. You are my only friend.” Sunset said.

“Good.” New Twilight opened a strange amulet that Sunset had never seen before. “Now, just relax.”

New Twilight leaned down and gave Sunset a little kiss on the lips.

It felt good, like tingly ice cream that cooled the throat and gave you a little tee-hee in the brain. It felt like a ball of light in the middle of the inky black ocean, like a breeze in the desert. It made Sunset feel good, even though she knew she shouldn’t.

A tear streaked down Sunset’s cheek, even though she was happy. Very happy.

It was so confusing, but that was Sunset for you! Such a silly.

The amulet began to glow.

New Twilight smiled.

THE END

Author's Note

http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/544598/adventure-clyde-reviews-9-sunset-shimmer-goes-to-the-zoo

This is the correct response. Thank you, Clyde. Thank you.