Shadow Spade and the Mystery of the Crystal Phoenix

by Ron Jeremy Pony

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 3397

Shadow Spade is a mare that knows danger, but is she ready for a mystery that is well over a thousand years in the making?

Welcome to Swords & Ploughshares Investigations, Inc . Here there's no mystery too big, or dangerous, that Shadow Spade and Tracer Bullet can't solve. Or at least that's the way it's always been until an old acquaintance of Shadow's has come back into her life. Is the mystery and adventure that he's brought with him too much, or will Shadow be able to solve the mystery and save the stallion in distress?

Pre-read and edited by L0rd0f7hund3r

Published 2015-10-16 22:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-16 22:20:01 UTC

Old Flames

Shadow Spade and the Mystery of the Crystal Phoenix.

Chapter 1 Old Flames

The door was open, and that concerned me. I had left it closed, for good reason, some time ago. Tracer had sent an informer to me and called me out to Ms. Stone's jewelry shop.

We'd discussed the disappearance of several high quality pieces of jewelry, but speaking with Ms. Stone had revealed everything. She had been nervous, especially so when I had neared her standing mat behind the counter.

She claimed not to know the exact value of the items of the store, but three mares that frequented the shop had informed both Tracer and I that she knew the prices of everything and could 'ring' someone up without looking at the registry. But in the end, the problem that had truly revealed everything had been what she had told me. No one, no one else knew her shop like she did.

The skylight was a deadly twenty five foot drop straight onto three glass presentation boxes. It was narrow enough that a Pegasus couldn't simply glide down, and I know from experience that trying to cast a teleportation spell in a confined space could be more than a little disastrous.

No, it would need to be somepony with a harness, rope, and most likely a Pegasus accomplice or two to keep watch on the roof.

She explained how her displays were broken, and that again set off alarm bells for me. Most thieves might break the displays, but only if they were in a hurry. It would make more sense to check to see if the displays had alarm wards on them, and if they did attempt to dispell them.

After she told me everything I took her to the side, knowing that if I revealed it now, in the open, I would lose the leverage that I had gained.

"Ms Stone, there's several problems with your story, what you've told me is that you didn't know the amount the jewelry that was stolen was worth, yet I have three witnesses that say you know every piece in your store like the back of your hoof. You said that they broke in, most likely through the skylight, but such a drop would kill any Earth Pony or Unicorn, and a Pegasus couldn't open their wings in this confined space. Lastly you said that they broke open the displays and stole everything. I know thieves, several of them, and I can tell you that if they were going to rob you they'd check your wards before anything else. Not to mention... I notice that your hooves are wrapped up. Something happened that you want to talk about?"

I remember her backing up, looking around frantically, and then lowering her head.

"I... I did it. I'm losing money, badly, and I don't want to lose my business. I'm covered on insurance, so I thought that maybe if I hired a private detective who would agree with the police report that it'd seem like I didn't do it."

I nodded, "Look, I promise that I will not report you, but you are going to find your merchandise, and you will inform the police that everything is fine."

That case had been simple enough, but now, this door hanging open, in the middle of the night, with a storm brewing, I knew it meant trouble.

I walked forward, letting the light from my horn light up the hall and I saw him. Shady.

He had been the kind of colt that all the mares and fillies at the police academy wanted. Good looking, smart, talented, and confident in his abilities. He would be the kind of catch that would make any red blooded mare scream in delight.

He was here, shaking, eyes screwed shut, and a long thin cut ran down his muzzle.

"Shady?"

"Shadow, you've got to help me. Please..."

His whimpering voice was a drastic change from the confident stallion I had met so long ago. I stepped into the office, into another case, and I knew that it smelled as if something was truly rotten in Equestria.

Before I left the police academy I had learned that Shady, along with a few other instructors, were working with Swift Sword, a known Pimp, and that they had no problem fixing the books to make it look like some of the recruits had massive debts that would take years to pay off. I did what I thought was right. I exposed the ring, withdrew, and came out here. Here to San Palomino which was a place far away from Fillydelphia. I have not seen what I suppose could be considered my home city in nearly eight years.

I neared him, watching how he twitched, his eyes darting toward the door, back to me, to the floor, and then back to the door again. There was a slight stench in the air, the smell of the unwashed, and it rolled off of Shady. His golden mane was matted to his head, tufts of red collected in spots, dirty grease stains in others. To say that he had looked better would be an understatement of the greatest kind.

I knew that Shady had come from old money. It was rumored that his lineage could be traced all of the way back to Princess Platinum herself. But instead of living in Canterlot as a noble, or a member of the royal family, he had chosen to live among more common ponies and take a job as a police officer.

At one time I wanted to believe that he took the job because he felt the need to give something back, to prove that not all would be royals were stuffed shirts looking at the whole of pony society as mindless drones that were placed there for the sole purpose of giving them nothing but joy. That belief died when I watched him lead a second year cadet into the waiting hooves of Swift Sword.

“Hear from Dainty?”

I knew it was a dig, and I knew that it would hurt him, but I had buried the image I once had of him, and instead I was attacking a poor imposter to what I had once believed was a perfect stallion.

“No…” he looked at the floor.

I could see the shame covering his face, his eyes closed in fearful retribution that I am quite sure he realized he deserved, but I would not trust his actions. Tracer, Tracer had taught me much from his own skills as a confidence stallion. Somepony with enough skill could convince anypony, including the Princess, that they were somepony they were not, if they were dedicated enough to the lie.

“Shadow, please, I really need your help,” he whimpered again.

It felt horrible. Despite all he had done, it felt terrible to see somepony that had been so confident, so sure, and so charismatic reduced down to a whimpering and twitching shell of his former self. I hated to see it, but even so I knew that it was something he certainly deserved. Shady had bought his troubles, and the question that was being laid at my hooves was did I want to buy them as well.

I knew that I had an out. I could deny helping Shady, send him out, and my hooves would be clean of the trouble that Shady had bought for himself, but they would not be clean of Shady’s blood. In the end I knew that I did not have much of a choice. Let Shady pay for his trouble, or try to find out what was going on, and maybe, just maybe save a stallion in distress.

“Shady, if I am going to help you then I need to know what is going on, and I need you to start at the beginning,” I said.

He swallowed whatever breath he was holding, which caused a cough from a very dry throat, and he hoofed a photo over. I looked at it, and I could see a beautiful crystal phoenix. Statues like this were commonplace enough, and they weren’t overly expensive. All of them were cheap replicas of the supposed crystal phoenix that had been a beloved pet of Starswirl the Bearded.

“What does a cheap statue have to do with this?” I asked.

“Look again,” he said.

I did, and I cursed myself for not looking close enough the first time. There were not cut lines, no imperfections, it was as if every single feather on the bird had been grown in and not simply cut by a jeweler, or a second rate stonecutter. The phoenix wasn’t a simple statue.

“You found it?” I asked.

He nodded, looked around again, and then tried to calm down, “It’s all true. The crystal phoenix, the lab, everything was there. There’s enough cutter in there for a hundred ponies to live all of their lives, several lives actually, in complete comfort, but that’s it… I… Shadow, I’m really in the soup now. I got in with these geezers… They were helping finance the expedition and whatnot… Things were going brilliant until I sent a telegram about the lab… I didn’t know who I was dealing with until I got a visit from their Headman… Shadow, these’re the kind of ponies that don’t think twice about taking a pony out back, abusing them horribly, and then tweaking them about before they smash heads in. It’s sport for them! I’m so deep in I don’t know I’m going to get out. They’ve got it out for me! Shadow, please… I’m right scared.”

There it was. The reason he came to me was because he was scared. Scared out of his wits. Shady’s friends, if they could be called friends, were a collection of ne'er-do-wells that tended to climb to the top of the heap and grift those trying to climb up out of everything they had. I knew that they would turn on him in a moment to keep themselves out of trouble.

I could tell how nervous he was, and that meant that the ponies he had crossed had connections. Having him stay at the office would certainly be a mistake, so instead I would have to play a little Cincinneighti shuffle. After this I knew that I would need to thank Tracer for teaching me some of his tricks of the trade. When ponies are looking left, you go right, and right now I needed to make them look left. If they were following him then the one thing that would make them look left would be Shady himself.

One of the first tricks we were taught at the police academy was how to cast glamours. The kind of simple illusion spells that two bit magicians used on stage shows. Not anything powerful, or that was too complicated, but to the laypony it was usually good enough to catch their attention and hold it for a while. I wish that I could say glamours were my bread and butter, but then I would be lying. I could cast a complex glamour, but if I kept it up for more than a few minutes it would cause a nasty headache and fatigue. If that was the only problem then I would simply go ahead and do it, but there was the matter of hiding the fact that I would be casting in the first place.

I needed help, and I hated that I would have to ask her. Closing my eyes I said a silent curse as I lifted a quill in my magic, and I began writing a letter to the one pony I knew who could send me what I needed, and that I could trust the object would work. I wrote quickly, but at the same time I kept my words direct and to the point. I did not want her thinking that we were anything more than in a working relationship.

I checked the letter, ensured that it sounded professional, and a moment later I used my magic and sent it to her via Dragonfire. I expected to wait for an hour or two, or at the very least a few minutes, but instead there was a surge of violetish white magic that filled my office. I knew the magic, and I knew the unicorn attached to it. The surge of magic ended, and standing there before Shady and myself was an azure unicorn mare with a silvery mane. Her violet eyes met my own, and before I could get a word out she sauntered toward me as if she was truly Celestia’s gift to all of ponykind.

Her dress, a knockoff of last year’s go to fashion, fit her frame like a second skin. I might not be one to enjoy the company of a mare in more private situations, but I could still admire a work of art when I saw one. Beatrice La Luna’s body was certainly a work of art. There were mares that spent their entire lives trying to sculpt their bodies in the same way that Beatrice’s was naturally sculpted.

She neared us, neared me, batting her eyelashes, and levitating her saddle bags. From the bulges in them I could tell that she had simply teleported over instead of reading the letter. She placed the saddle bags on my desk, letting one of them open, slowly, and allowing a small chain to slip out.

“A stallion is a change of pace, isn’t it? I don’t mind, after all, I’m a big filly. But dearest, I was hoping to have you all to myself,” she said.

I knew this was what I had to look forward to when I contacted her. Beatrice was a mare that was used to getting what she wanted. Finding a mare that did not want her had turned into a challenge; I was the challenge. Past experience had taught me that Beatrice would play this game for hours, unless of course I managed to get her on tact. This time that meant getting straight to business.

“Beatrice, I am not making a social call. I need a glamour, and I need it connected to a charm. Something that can make mare out of a stallion would be best,” I replied.

She looked hurt, for a moment, before she turned to Shady. A quick study of him made her smile and she floated something out of her saddle bags. It was nondescript, a simple white, onyx crescent moon on a silver chain. It did not even seem like something that would have a charm placed on it, or it appeared that way until her magic truly touched it. The magic contained in it seemed to charge and then sent out a resounding thrum.

“Now, let’s see what you look like as a petite, cute, and very ruttable little mare,” she said as she neared Shady.

His eyes widened, and I watched as she placed the necklace over his head. He groaned, fell forward, and I heard his voice rise an octave. His body began to shrink, his flank became more pronounced, and I watched as his mane lengthened. The shell that had once been Shady was now a young mare.,

“That is some glamour,” I said.

“It’s not just a glamour; this is a transformation charm. It actually transforms the wearer into the opposite sex,” she replied.

I looked at it again, “That sounds expensive.”

She grinned, “Oh, it is. Neighponese in design, the latest thing in foreplay for couples wanting a little excitement. I thought that I could use it on our first date.”

I rolled my eyes at Beatrice, unsurprised she still be this flirtatious in such a perilous scenario. Nonetheless, Shady looked less like his old self, and more like a cute little sister. I motioned for them to follow me. Before we left, I grabbed two more trench coats, two more fedoras, and gave them to both of them.

“Beatrice, when we walk outside, I want you to walk toward the stairwell on the opposite end of the hall, go into it, down half a flight of stairs, and then teleport over to rotgut room in Tubby’s Diner,” I said.

She nodded, and a moment later we all three walked out. I watched Beatrice heading down the hall, acting as if she was looking behind her, and for once I was glad that she tended to be a little showy. I could hear the soft pads of rubber horse shoes in the shadows, and I knew that the ponies following Shady had taken the bait. We moved, carefully, until we reached the ground floor. Once there we headed out, going to Tubby’s.

Tubby was somepony that was a bit of a contradiction. He was an obese stallion, easily as big as they come; some would say that he was the illegitimate son of a Saddle Arabian Sultan. He might have been, but it didn’t hide the Shetlander in his voice. The large Pegasus had ran the diner here for nearly fifteen years. He was one of the few Pegasi that had went against the law and offered Spirit Salts. The salts were known for hallucinations, vivid dreams, and orgasmic floods of emotions. Celestia had banned the salts when a colt had accidently gotten a lick inside of an open establishment.

Soon after places like Tubby’s began selling Spirit Salts on the sly, quiet little speakeasies that made sure to stay out of the light, keep away from the open, and only sell to those that were old enough to know better, but still too young to care. I knew that Tubby had left the Spirit Salt business a couple of years ago. A very close situation with two of Celestia’s Royal Guards had nearly ended all of his business. Tubby, being the stallion he was, sold off the rest of his merchandise, cut his ties with his former business associates, and instead ran a mostly honest dive of a diner.

Walking into the diner I could smell Tubby’s hayfries. Fries made in the same grease that came from the fried pickles and oat burgers. I walked toward Tubby, seeing the older Pegasus hurriedly slapping together three oat burgers, laying on enough hay fries to choke any pony, and then filling up three mugs of cider.

“Tubby, mind if we have a word in the back?” I asked.

He nodded, finished his orders, and then tossed an apron to a young Earth Pony filly he had working with him. She looked barely old enough to in highschool, but she shared the same mustard yellow coat as Tubby, and the same Curly red mane. I knew that I was looking at Slim, his daughter.

“Take care of the customers, and if’n one of those louts dunne pay, buck ‘em right in the dangly bits,” he said.

She nodded, and I followed him back toward the storage room, he stopped at a shelf, pulled a can of beans, and the shelf opened up to reveal a hidden passage. We walked through it into a room where Beatrice was already waiting.

“‘Feckin’ unicorns and yer feckin’ magic. What in the fresh hell do ye want now?” he asked.

“Tubby, we need a place to keep somepony hidden for a while,” I said.

He looked at me, wiped his forehead with his foreleg, and nodded.

“Fine. Yer a good lass, Shadow, but I ain’t a charity. I expect ta be paid, and be paid well. Ye got the Rotgut room fer a week, a week, and after that I dunne care what kind of shite yer friend is in they’re out. Ye got it lass?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Good, now I gotta go back and make sure that my wee filly isn’t givin’ away the orders ‘cause some lout came in with a sob story,” he said as he turned around and walked out.

“Get comfortable Shady, for the next week, this is home,” I said.

Author's Note

(And here it is. My first try at a Detective Noir story featuring Shadow Spade. I plan on updating this one about once a week, or once every two weeks. Naturally let me know what you think about it, good, bad, indifferent. Thanks,

RJP)