The Minecraftin Tales

by The Cat Lord

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 2653

My name is Rob! I am a hyper, shy, and easily flustered Minecraftican. Its what I call myself sense I'm not exactly human anymore but on another note I am constantly teased by Trollestia (Her real name is Celestia.) But this land holds a dark serect.

My name is Rob! I am a hyper, shy, and easily flustered Minecraftican. I am apperntly part of a legendry being of creation and distruction? All I know is I can faintly see a Minecraft GUI and can craft anything I can imagine with a weird Too Many Items like menu to help me. But thats pretty much it. I hope to see you!

Published 2015-10-06 22:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-06 22:30:02 UTC

Meeting Trollestia

Creation is the choice to first destroy then to pick up the pieces of that deed and repurpose what you have destroyed. Or that is how it is in games. If you never destroy then you could never build. Destroy a tree to create a home, if you still had bits of wood left over you build tools to help you destroy farther to build form more materials. Then it keeps going on and on till the line of destroying and creating blur to godly acts.

Or that is how it works in games.

My name is Rob, Rob Simpson. I’ve been waiting for this convention for weeks, if not months. Sadly most of my money for this convention was put into buying the tickets, getting a ride, and merchandise leaving me without the possibly to buy or create an over the top belts and buckles costume. Sure I don't have to wear a costume but that's part of the fun of going to a con in the first part!

So I looked and look, thought as hard as I could before something came to mind almost instantly. As soon as I thought of it I had a light blue shirt and dark blue jeans laid somewhere special, so I wouldn't wear them and couldn't find them in the pile of dirty clothes or be in the dryer. I slip them on loving how well they fitted me, I next pick up the large boxy Steve helmet.

I walk to mirror to look at myself, “Looking good Robby!”

I pose in different poses, even imitating the actions of swinging a sword, or bring down a pickaxe on an stone block. Each one surprisingly look like the avatar action if they were human, “I should try out for acting classes.”

I shrug, looking around for the the foam Diamond Pickaxe. I sear for a few moment before seeing it hanging on the wall with a note as a joke to myself, “If Zombies, sword is another room.”

I giggle at my small, little joke to myself. I grab it off the wall and hymns as I hold it in my hands. The foam giving into my fingers easily, “I'm a diggy diggy dwarf.”

With a final reference I head to my car and drive the the local con area.

I stand awestruck by the event in front of me, countless people crammed into this area, all brought together by a love for a form of art. Gaming.

I walk into the main hall which hosted the major, attention grabbing names and titles. Each looking more and more wonderful than the next. I see so many triple A titles lined up, showing off products for anyone interested enough to simply, walk up to and buy off their table. It's amazing to watch as I casually stroll in, the pickaxe hanging on my back, almost forgotten in my wonderment. I tighten my grip on it and smile as I head off down a hall to explore and browse.

I make my way down one the splintering branches. Each stall looking to be filled with worthwhile merchandise and other goodies. I keep walking but the glint of light being caught on something catches my attention, it makes me turn to where the source of it was.

A stall located in a place that seems it shouldn't exist. I walk to the perversion of space and time, where the shady dealer smiles and bows his head to me, “Welcome soon to be god. Browse my wares, I do not ask much.”

I can't help but look at it. I see so many things, so much it seems they shouldn't fit on this desk. As if space was folded on top of this table allowing so much more things to exist on it then there should.

I feel my hand grab a sword. I bring it to view. It's made of pure diamond, weirdly it should weigh more but it feels like a feather in my hand, “How much?” My wallet already out of my pocket, the Diamond sword replacing it in a flash of energy but I take no mind to it, giggling madly at the chance to own the beautiful sword.

The shady merchant opens my wallet and takes a few bills, “That is all I require from you.” I nod to him as I turn and walk away, the sword back in my hand as I can faintly see three items in pixel form. A wallet, a pickaxe, then a sword.

The odd space we were in morphed then seems to shift revealing a portal, but my mind does not warn or stop me from walking into it.

I fall a short distance, my full functional mind returning. It screams shortly as does my fall seem to last. I land on a bed which a small, girlish epp comes from as the covers ride down to reveal a white horse with strange features.

The overall impression leaves the thought of a human face. But the deviations denounced her, judging by the small scream, as not human. Long snout, long ears which are slightly floppy in an adorable way, a long and I mean LONG horn easily the size of my forearm, then to large eyes with a almost motherly look in them.

She speaks to me, ”Come here often?”

“Only when you are sleeping.” With that the horn glows slightly then a sense of exhaustion set in. The world going a tint of blue and slowly darkening till I feel my mind slip into a dreamless state.

Dungeon Time!

I sleepily wake up from my peaceful slumber, the cloud-like bed fitting to my every curve and crook. The siren song of sleep begging me, with its wonderful tone, to return to it and smothering my waking mind, replacing it with my slumbering one. Promising me surreal tales born from ideas in my mind.

I open my eyes to see the ceiling of a cell, not a dungeon, but a much kinder and humane cell. Torches line the wall, filling it with the smell of burning coal and wood. I simply stare up at the smooth ceiling, definitely not the one I fell from.

“Are you awake sir?” A masculine voice comes from somewhere on my right. A deep one sounding as if he holds a title of some kind that I am not aware of.

“Yes.” I turn over to look at the source of the voice.

A pony, not a horse like the one whose bed I landed in, is standing across the bars, a tray of what seems like food floating in a neon blue glow, the same color glow coming from the unicorn’s skull. Other noteworthy things are the golden armour draped over its body and what looks to be an electric blue mane that I can see, as the head is unarmoured.

“I brought you food.”

I get up quickly seeing he's opening the cell door with his hoof. The tray floats to the foot of my bed. Water along with tea bags were the thirst quenchers, and a wide variety of fruits, nuts, and vegetables were on the plate along with hay, “Thank you, but why the nice treatment? I'm in the dungeon, seemingly on the wrong side of the bars.” I let out a small, childlike giggle, “OR do I look cute to you?” I try to pose seductively, as soon as my hands made contact with the bed it let out a noise like woll being crushed.

We both jump and look at the spot that made the offending noise, “Um...That was silk covers, how did i sound like somepony stepped on wool?”

I look the pony in his eyes, “No clue, at all.”

“Do it again.” I nod and press my hand on the bed. When the sheets gave into my palm it made the noise of crunching wool, we burst out laughing as I continue to make the noise, “I'm bringing my sister here, she’ll love this.”

The pony walks off chuckling, leaving the cell door open, caught up in his own mumblings and ideas. I walk to the open and door, then I logically try to walk through it but I go face first into an invisible wall, “Shit!” I recoil and rub my nose, thankful it wasn't broken but I whine slightly and rub my now aching nose.

I walk back to bed, sitting upon it, and earning the sound of stepping on wool once more emits from the silk bed sheets. The novelty of the occurrence already worn off, natural human adaptation already taken over moving onto more pressing concerns. The food and water provided for me.

Weirdly my throat isn't parched, any feelings meaning I am parched or dehydrated are absent. But the gnawing sensation of hunger pains my stomach. I reach for the food and eat it quickly. Somewhere in my vision a very, very see through version of the Minecraft display dnotes me missing little legs of meat. I try to stare at it but like those little squiggles in your vision it moves with my eye.

I began to laugh, maybe to cope with this beyond weird situation as I slowly shovel food into my mouth, chewing slowly as the Minecraft munching noise is the only thing heard beyond my ever growing psychotic laughter.

Laughter has always been a coping mechanism from me, I somehow eat while laughing without choking on it, the chewing noises emitting from every bite I take, “Come on Twilly, don't you want to see the creature that princess Celestia told you about?” The stallion, if I remember my horse names right, seems to walk to the cage.

“Well yes I do Shiny… But are you sure it's ok?”

“What do you mean Twilly?” The ponies walk into sight, the white coated pony followed by a new, purple one. If it was the other voice, I believe it is a female. She has a purple coat, purple mane and a horn denoting her as an unicorn also.

“Did Princess Celestia say it's ok to see it?” She looks to the white pony, a surprising amount of human like emotions in her voice and face, her face is also very, very human like. Same for the white pony also.

“Calm down Twilily, I needed you to see it. We notices it interacts with the world strangely, as if following its own physics. You being an Element of Harmony bearer along with one the most gifted minds in this generation. If anyone can understand this being it would be you.”

“Why are you talking to me like I don't exist?”

‘Twilily’ jumps in the air in fright, her, judging by her voice, head snapping to me quickly enough to make me think she broke it. A scholar twinkle in her eye making the illusion of being put under a microscope oh so very real, “Shiny! You didn't tell me it could talk!”

“Well...Um…” The white pony or ‘Shiny’ backs up slightly looking nervous as he seems to look to me for help.

“He doesn't think much does he?”

Twilight shakes her head then sighs, “He may of gotten dad’s strength, but I have my mother’s intelligence.” She looks me in the eye and smiles unreally, a smile the Joker would've been proud of, “Soooo, what do I call you mister?”

“Rob.”

She tilts her head, “That is such a strange name.”

“And ‘Twilily isn't?” She blushes and scowls at the white pony slightly.

“My name is Twilight Sparkle! And that over there is my stupid, but loveable, brother, Prince Shining Armour.”

I chuckle as Shining Armour immediately replies, “Oh don’t mind her, she's still angry about me marrying her foalsitter.” He then chuckles and lightly taps her with his hoof.

“I’m angry about you not trusting me when I noticed something was off about her during the whole thing!” She stomps her hoof, my whole presence for the most part, ignored. I don't mind that though.

“I was under the changeling's spell! I couldn't help it!” His voice in a whiny pitch, “But we should focus on the creat-”

“Rob.” Twilight corrects him which he responds with a sigh and restarting.

“We should focus on Rob. He doesn't seem hostile but there have been multiple things simply off about him. Not counting the fact noone on Equus has ever seen a creature like him!”

“Rude, I’m right here.”

Shining Armour looks at Twilight, then me, “Did you two plan this?”

Twilight and I shake our heads in sync denoting we did not.

“But ho-”

I shrug, “We play off each other well.”

He takes a deep breath, his mouth opening monetarily but simply closes. Looking like a fish gasping for water. Twilight giggles at his reaction but simply sighs. I relax on the bed smiling smugly as Shining walks backwards, letting Twilight free reign to my cell, “Now Rob.”

“Yes?” I lay down on the rather comfortable bed sideways, getting into a rather comfortable position.

“Are you male or female?” I fall over on the bed landing on my face. My brain trying to understand the reason for that question.

“Pervert.” I mutter out, muffled by the pillow.

“Huh?” I hear the clip cop of hooves. Sounding like they were getting closer.

I lift my head off the pillow not to muffle my voice anymore, “I said pervert.”

I look over to her, somehow I could see a blush through her fur as Shining holds a hoof against his mouth, his sides bouncing with laughter.

“I-I'm not..”

“You asked if I was male or female. Sounded like you thought you had a chance with me.”

Twilight is reduced to a blushing, stammering mess as she backs up in a defensive manner then off out of sight of my bars, “Awww, I was going to have more fun.”

By that point Shining falls on his side, laughing to the point I can see tears well up and mat the fur around his eyes slightly, “In all my years I’ve never seen Twilight do that!”

I shrug and smile, feeling not like a prisoner, they haven't treated my like one, or done anything abusive. I just humiliated his sister and he’s just laughing it off. Ponies are weird, “Can I be let out?”

Shining Armour sighs then nods, “Princess Celestia wishes to see you under armed escort though. To make sure the Slims and Boomers do not get you.”

“Boomers?” I slide out of the bed.

“A little shorter than you, tall, they seem to be always frowning, they also blow up but they first go ssssssssss.” Did white pony just describe a creeper? Oh no, there creepers. I guess this being a dream theory is now a step closer to dying.

“Oh, those. I just always called them creepers.” I shrug walking to the still open door in my cell. This time I am smart enough to put my hand out where I still feel the invisible force.

“Well, we call them Boomers, because they explode and do A LOT of damage to the surroundings. They easily force us to tax the people so much JUST to rebuild after their explosions. Then they come and blow it up again.”

Shining sighs as the force blocking my hand simply vanishes causing me to stumble forward and hit my head on the top of the bars. Surprisingly the pain is very little but Shining has a sympathetic look of pain on his, “Are you ok?”

I nod to him rubbing my forehead, not even feeling a bump or blood. Stange, the bars look kinda sharp, I would of expected blood, “I'm fine…”

I look to him and smile slightly as he begins to walk off the direction he and his sister came from.