Beetlejuice Vs. Discord!

by theanonymousbrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Random, Discord, Crossover, Dark, Zecora
Length: 9325

Come witness the match of the century: the master of chaos vs. the ghost with the most!

After being humiliated at school, the Cutie Mark Crusaders go to Zecora's hut in search for something that can make themselves get even with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon; and they find it in the form of a book with the word "Betelgeuse" enscribed upon it. The instructions were simple: say Betelgeuse three times. But as soon as they did, they didn't know that they were about to bring forth a disaster that only the master of chaos can fix.

Published 2015-10-06 17:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-06 17:10:01 UTC

It's Showtime!

It was just another typical day over at the Ponyville Schoolhouse; Ms. Cheerilee was going over today's lesson with her students, and they in turn were either writing down notes or trying to hide their boredom by pretending to be paying attention. During this lecture, two spoiled brats who go by the names of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were patiently waiting for three certain fillies to open their desks.

One's a yellow earth pony named Apple Bloom, the other's a white unicorn named Sweetie Belle, and the last one's an orange pegasus named Scootaloo. They were each just as bored as the other, but they knew that their grades would depend on how much of the information that they can sink in. So they all decided to get a pencil out of their desks, but as soon as they lifted the tops, they were each splattered by a blue mess.

They were paralyzed for a brief moment, but by the time their classmates had started laughing, they knew right away that they've fallen victim to Diamond's and Silver's prank. As a way to add insult to injury, Diamond looked at the three of them and said, "What's wrong Blank Flanks? Feeling blue?" she and her lackey both snickered as they gave each other a hoof bump.

The whole class kept errupting with laughter until Ms. Cheerilee found it in herself to shout, "Students, that's enough!" as soon as everypony was silent, Cheerilee walked up to the poor fillies and said, "Girls, come on; let's see if we can't wash that off." The three fillies just walked out of that classroom while stained in shame.

...

When class was finally over, the trio were heading for the one place to go whenever they have a bad day: Zecora's hut. It's kinda weird how before all this, nopony would ever want to step hoof near her hut. But nowadays it seems that anypony would want to come to her if it means having their problems solved.

Anyway, since Apple Bloom has spent more time with Zecora than anypony else, it was automatically her job to knock on Zecora's door. The door then opened and revealed the witch doctor zebra herself. "Ah, if it isn't my favorite trio of third graders: the Cutie Mark Crusaders. And what do I owe the pleasure, if not just for a chance of leisure?"

"Howdy Zecora," Apple Bloom greeted her, "me and the girls were wonderin' if we could come inside fer awhile?"

"Please, be my guest," Zecora permitted them, "for it wouldn't be neighborly if I were to deny your request." As soon as they were settled in, Zecora couldn't help but notice that the Cutie Mark Crusaders weren't being their usual cheerful selves today. "Why do you all frown? Has something caused your spirits to go down?"

Apple Bloom let out a sigh as she told her, "It was Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon again."

"Oh, and what have those imps done this time?" Zecora inquired. "Did they splatter you with slime?"

"As a matter of fact they did," Scootaloo elaborated. "Blue slime to be exact!"

"I'm just glad that Ms. Cheerilee was able to clean it off," Sweetie Belle stated. "Because I'm not even prepared to explain to Rarity how I got blue slime stains in my mane."

"It wouldn't had been so bad if it weren't done in front of everypony in class," Apple Bloom commented.

"Well I don't know about you two," said Scootaloo, "but I'd give up my wings if it meant seeing those two brats pay for once."

"Now Scootaloo," Zecora lectured her, "wrong for those two to humiliate you three, I agree. But vengeance is never the key. Whenever I'm feeling angry, I always like to calm myself with a good book. You three are my guest, so feel free to take a look."

While Zecora was searching for some ingredients at the far back of her hut, an idea had suddenly popped inside Scootaloo's head. "Hey girls, maybe Zecora might have some spell books that can help us teach Diamond and Silver a lesson."

"I doubt that Zecora would be willin' ta help us brew somethin' that could be use ta hurt somepony," Apple Bloom pointed out.

"I know that," said Scootaloo, "which is why you're gonna be the one to brew it."

"Why me?"

"Because you're the one who learned about magic potions during Twilight Time, remember?"

"Oh, I guess ya do have a point there."

"Great, now Sweetie, find us a spell book."

"Why do I have to get it?" Sweetie complained a little.

"Because you can now use your magic to lift stuff," Scootaloo reminded her. "And besides, it's much faster than us forming a ladder."

"Oh all right."

Sweetie looked upon the row of books that were standing upon the vast shelf as she focused her magic upon one of them. Upon setting it down on the table, they each had a good look at the title that reads: Betelgeuse.

"Beetlegoose," Apple Bloom read aloud. "What kinda title is that?"

"Let's open it and find out," Scootaloo suggested.

Right when the first page was turned, what they saw first was a picture of some pale skinned lunatic with crazy yellow hair; and beneath that picture was the name "Betelgeuse" again.

"I'm guessin' this is suppose ta be that Beetlegoose fella," Apple Bloom stated.

"OK," said Scootaloo, "but why don't we just focus on looking for some spells."

After turning page after page, the Cutie Mark Crusaders didn't really find anything about spells, but they were able to learn a few things about Betelgeuse. Apparently he's a supernatural troublemaker who's older than Celestia herself. He's infamous in nearly every world in the whole universe; he was even the cause for a lot of infamous disasters such as the bubonic plague, the sinking of the Titanic, he even inspired a German dictator to cause one of the most violent bloodsheds in history!

While Scootaloo and Apple Bloom kept reading, Sweetie looked back at the shelf and noticed something that was hiding behind where the book had been. With her magic, she levitated it over to her and she was able to get a much better look at it. "OMC girls, look at this cute ragdoll!"

They both had a good look at the doll, and they both noticed that it had on a striped black and white suit and had frizzy yellow hair. "Say, that doll kinda looks like that Beetlegoose fella," Apple Bloom pointed out.

"You're right, it does," Sweetie Belle agreed. "But why would Zecora have these things in the first place?"

"What you three have discovered is what brought me here," Zecora said to them. "But the doll that you hold is something that I wish would disappear."

"What's the big deal?" Sweetie Belle doubted. "It's not like this Beetlegoose is real, is he?"

"The doll that you hold is not of a goose," Zecora rhymed, "but of a ghost who goes by the name of Beetlejuice."

"Huh, so that's how ya pronounce his name," Apple Bloom said to herself.

"Wait, so he really did do all of these terrible things?" asked Scootaloo.

"I'm afraid those tales are true," Zecora rhymed again, "for he did something much worse before I met all of you."

"What happened?" the Cutie Mark Crusaders asked in unison.

Zecora took a deep breath as she prepared to tell her sad tale. "Before I came to Ponyville, I once lived in a small village that stood upon a tall hill. There I was an apprentice to a wise and powerful shaman that any monster would dread; a zebra who could even shrink a giant daemon's head. But one day, I stumbled upon a book with the words 'Betelgeuse'. And when I foolishy repeated that name three times, I didn't knew what I've let loose. Upon his release, he destroyed the shaman and any zebra who was near. He even killed my family and all my friends whom I once hold dear. Fearing what he might do to everypony else in Equestria, I quickly used the skills my master had taught me in a last attempt to save all. So I sprinkled the ghost with a magic dust that turned him into a doll. But as punishment for my folly, I was forced to leave by my own people--who were anything but jolly. And as you can see, I even brought the book and the doll along; as a reminder for what I've done wrong."

Apple Bloom was nearly in tears after hearing all of that. "Oh Zecora, if we had all known what ya been through, we would've given you a warm welcome as soon as ya got here."

Zecora just pat her on the head and told her, "Do not fret Apple Bloom, for there's no need for you to feel glum."

Sweetie then decided to address something. "Now wait, so you're saying that this doll is really him?"

"Yes indeed," Zecora stated, "and as long as nopony says his name three times, he shall never be freed. I even carry a small bag of dust next to my hip, just in case my tongue were to slip. Now I must go look for supplies at the store. If by anychance you three decide to leave, then please close the door."

As soon as she was gone, Scootaloo picked up the book and cried, "Come on, let's summon this guy!"

"Scootaloo!" cried Apple Bloom. "Weren't ya even listenin' ta what Zecora was sayin'?!"

"Yeah, we might end up putting Ponyville in serious danger," Sweetie added.

"Oh come on girls, Ponyville's been through worse," Scootaloo dismissed their warnings. "And in the end, it's not as if everypony doesn't make it out in one piece."

"But this could be worse," Sweetie dreaded. "I don't think I can be able to live with myself knowing that I've unleashed everypony's doom."

"Relax you two," said Scootaloo, "we're only just gonna teach Diamond and Silver a lesson, and then we'll change him back to a doll."

"I don't know Scootaloo," Apple Bloom worried, "what if we can't be able ta change him back?"

"You heard Zecora, she has some of that dust with her just in case something like this does happen. And if that doesn't work, then Twilight and the other's can always stop him. Hay, even Jeffrie, Jonathan, and Andrew manage to save everypony on one or two occasions. So who's to say they can't do it again?"

"Well I suppose they could," said Sweetie Belle. "But I'm just not sure that risking all of Equestria will be worth seeing Diamond and Silver get what they deserve."

"This isn't just about getting back at those two," Scootaloo defended her claim, "this could also be a great chance to get our Cutie Marks; maybe vengeance could be our destined talents."

Sweetie and Apple Bloom both thought for awhile until Sweetie asked, "What would the Cutie Mark for a pony who's good at getting revenge even look like?"

"We'll never know if we don't find out."

"Well...I guess when you put it that way, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try."

Scootaloo then waited for Apple Bloom's response (who was still a little indecisive about it). "Ya swear that we'll change him back as soon as this is all over?"

"Of course," Scootaloo promised, "I cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

"Fine, but let's at least do it outside."

"All right, now come on girls: CUTIE MARK CRUSADER RETRIBUTION SEEKERS!"

When they were out of Zecora's hut, they went to an area that wasn't too close to her hut or too far for them to find their way back. They placed the doll upon a stump and they joined hoof in hoof before the incantation can commence. "Now what?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Haven't you been paying attention," Scootaloo scolded her. "We just have to say his name three times...BEETLEJUICE!"

After a brief pause, Apple Bloom shouted, "BEETLEJUICE!"

And that only left Sweetie Belle. "BEETLEJUICE!"

Upon uttering that name for the third time, every creature that was within the doll's range started to run off, and the very ground started to shake as the Cutie Mark Crusader's were watching in awe and fear as the ragdoll slowly floated off the stump and began to form into this disgusting, half-dead ghost that was practically covered from head to toe in mold--it even reeked of it!

After the transformation was finished, the ghost known as Beetlejuice let out a groan as he said, "Damn, it feels so good to finally stretch those aching bones." He then started to make both of his arms and legs twist, and after bending his entire body, he then let his head spin around for a few seconds. "Woo-wee, glad to get that out of my system." That's when he noticed the three fillies standing in front of him. "Aww, little baby ponies!" he wrapped all three of them with both of his arms. "Oh, aren't you three the most precious and cuddly little angels a dead guy has ever seen!" he then started to plant moldy kissses upon each of their heads as all three of them were desperately struggling to get out.

"EW!"

"GROSS!"

"STOP!"

The second they were free, Scootaloo was the first to ask, "Listen, we were wondering if you can do us a small favor?"

"Say no more, I know just what it is you're gonna ask me," Beetlejuice predicted. "You want my autograph!" he took the book she was just holding and after pulling a pen out of his nose, he signed his name and handed it back to her. "Now remember: eat your vitamins and say your prayers everyday, then someday you can be as wretched as I am."

"No, no, that's not it," Scootaloo explained. "We heard about all that stuff you did and we were wondering if you can do some of that to these two ponies that we go to school with."

"Ah, you're fans of my work, huh? So then tell me, who do I have to kill?"

"Well, we really just wanted you to scare them a little; but I suppose..."

"Scootaloo!" Apple Bloom scolded her as she turned to Beetlejuice. "Look, we just want you ta torment these ponies that we really hate. We ain't askin' ya ta kill 'em, but just scare 'em."

"Oh, I get it; a little old fashion revenge. So what have these ponies done to ya? Did they piss in your juice?"

"No," said Apple Bloom.

"Did they cover your desk in gum?"

"Nope," said Sweetie Belle.

"Wait, I think I got it this time. They trapped a sandworm in your locker."

"You're not even close," Scootaloo commented.

"Do my eyes deceive me, or have you three really set Beetlejuice free?"

They all turned around and saw Zecora standing there, staring at Beetlejuice. "Zecora, babe!" as fast as a bullet, Beetlejuice bolts towards her and gives her a very sloppy kiss. "Oh Zecora, it's been so long, and you have no idea how much I miss you. So why don't we get this marriage back on track?"

Zecora forced herself out of his grasp as she told him, "You know very well that my agreement to marry you was just a trap; and you'd do best to not make me snap!"

"Oh come on babe, you're not still mad at me for killing your family and friends, are ya?"

"Setting you free is what got me banished from my home in the first place. And now you expect me to welcome you with a warm embrace?!"

"Oh that village was a dump anyway; this forest however seems to have a nice feel to it. Come on Zecora, let's get married. You love kids? I love kids too! In fact let's adopt these three! Ooh, we're gonna be one big happy family!"

"Enough!" Zecora silenced him for a brief moment. "I never loved you; for the heart that I promise to give was never true. Now unless you have any last words to say, it's high time that you go away!"

Before she could take any of that dust from her bag, Beetlejuice cried out, "FREEZE!" and she pretty much just stood as still as a statue.

Apple Bloom was getting a little hysterical at this sight. "What did you do ta her?!"

"Oh don't worry kiddo," Beetlejuice assured her, "she's just a little paralyzed; she should start moving again in about ten minutes. Now then, what say we head over to where those two ponies you want me to scare live."

"Before we do, you promise ta turn back ta a doll after this is over?" Apple Bloom asked him.

"What?! You expect me to just give up my freedom after all these years I spent trying to get out?! What are you crazy?!"

"Sweetie," Apple Bloom signaled for her to unleash her ultimate weapon: cuteness.

"Please," Sweetie begged as she pouted her lips and stared at Beetlejuice with her puppy-dog eyes.

It must've had an effect over him, because Beetlejuice had surprisingly relented. "Oh all right, but only because you said please." And with that said, the Cutie Mark Crusaders led their ghost for hire to his prey.

Upon arriving to their destination, Beetlejuice was looking through a window as he was getting a good look at his targets. "That's them?" he asked the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Yep, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon," Apple Bloom explained to him. "So ya think ya can scare 'em?"

"Can I scare them?" Beetlejuice responded in disbelief. "Honey, when I'm through with them, they won't be able to sleep for a year." He cracked his knuckles as he was getting himself ready. "OK kids, just sit back and let a professional show you how it's done. It's showtime!" with that said, he performed a mid-somersault and disappeared before their very eyes.

While the Cutie Mark Crusaders are watching through the window, they could see the two brats celebrating their successful prank with a little tea party. In addition to her plastic tiara, Diamond was donning a purple feather boa around her neck. Silver Spoon on the other hand was just wearing a fancy sun hat that her rich father had probably bought from Carousel Boutique. Before they even so much as took a sip of the tea, they decided that the first thing to do was to congratulate one another.

"Oh Diamond, that had to be hooves down your best prank yet!"

"I know, it's even better than the time we planted rotten eggs in their desks."

"What do you think we should do next time?"

"I'll think of something for those Blank Flanks. But for now, let's have a toast." They each raised their cups. "To our friendship; and may all Blank Flanks be miserable forever more."

"I couldn't say it better myself," as soon as Silver and Diamond lightly tapped their cups, they each took a sip and immediately spat the liquid out. "Ugh, Diamond, this tea taste like mud!"

And strange enough, Diamond told her (but with Beetlejuice's voice), "Actually, it's ooze that came from an old boot with just a hint of rat feces." She quickly covered her mouth while an awkward silence started hanging over them.

"Uh Diamond, are you feeling all right?"

"Of course I am," she said in her normal voice. "So the tea doesn't taste good, that doesn't mean the cookies can't taste any better."

Diamond just munched away; but when Silver got her cookie, she discovered something truly terrible. "Diamond, roaches!"

When she stopped to look at it, she noticed that the chocolate chips were replaced with cockroaches! She immediately spat it all out and just watched in horror as all her cookies were being devoured by tiny insects. "What's going on here?!" she froze as she saw--what looked like--a big spider with Beetlejuice's head on top of Silver's hat. "S-s-silver, th-th-there's something on your head!"

As she took a big gulp, Silver slowly tilted her head up and was face to face with Beetlejuice. "Hi there," he told her.

"SPIDER!"

She and Diamond just jumped out of their seats as they both ran and huddled next to a corner. "It's OK Silver, as long as we stick together, nothing can hurt us." That is until she started to hear a rattling sound. She looked down and was horrified to see her feather boa be replaced by Beetlejuice--in the form of a snake!

"If you thought roaches in your cookies was disgusting," he hissed at her, "then wait until I show you a whole new definition of brain-rape!" with that said, he slowly slithered his way through her ear. Diamond could only just stand there as she was beginning to feel her whole mind become violated.

"Eww, Silver, he's in my brain! I can feel it!"

After about thirty seconds, Beetlejuice had come out through her other ear (in his regular form this time), and was also covered in earwax. "Oh boy, you definitely need to give your ears a good scrubbing once in awhile," said he. "Well, I had some good fun with you two, but now it's time for me to split. And by the way, Silver Spoon, I left you a little present under your hat." He did another mid somersault and vanished.

Silver slowly removed her hat and was somewhat surprised to find a web covered egg on top of her head. But as soon as it cracked open and let loose a swarm of baby spiders, she really started to panic! "Ah, get them off me! Get them off me!"

Not knowing what else to do, Diamond grabbed the tea pot and splashed all the spiders off of Silver. But then tons of bugs started to crawl from out of the ceiling! They rushed to the door; but as they tried opening it, more bugs started to crawl out of the keyhole as well! And so without any other options, they both jumped through the window and were running as far away as possible.

After seeing this, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were just rolling on the ground in laughter. "Oh man, that's gotta be the best prank I've ever seen in my life!" Scootaloo shouted.

They then saw Beetlejuice laughing at his little prank as well. "What did I tell you three; could I scare them or what?!"

"Yeah, ya definitely proved yerself," said Apple Bloom. "Now let's change ya back."

"Actually," Beetlejuice stopped them, "I've been giving the matter some thought while we were coming here, and I've decided to stay longer."

"What?!" they all cried in unison.

"But you promised us!" Sweetie cried.

"Oh yeah, about that," Beetlejuice told her, "I LIED! Come on, you didn't really think that after spending all these years as a ragdoll that I'm just gonna go back right when I'm finally free, did ya? Nope! Sorry girls, but there's an entire town for me to torment, and I plan to make the most of it. Toodles!" he then dashed away in search of other victims.

Scootaloo started to freak out, "Oh sweet Celestia, what have we done?!"

"What have we done?!" Apple Bloom shouted. "Ya mean what have you done?! Summonin' him was yer idea in the first place!"

"Yeah!" Sweetie agreed.

"It would seem that you realize how wrong it was to let him go," that's when Zecora had finally caught up to them. "As Jeffrie would put it, 'I told you so'."

Scootaloo started to feel ashamed of herself. "I'm sorry everyone. I guess I should've just listened to all of ya after all."

"There'll be time for an apology later," Zecora told her. "But for now, we best head over to Princess Twilight, before that ghost inflicts a damage that's even greater."

Speaking of Twilight, she was in her private library just reading some books out of pure boredom. "Well, I suppose that ought to be enough reading for today." She then used her magic to levitate the books back to their proper shelves. But as she was about to leave, she tripped on something. And that something was in the form of a black and white, striped book. "That's weird, how long has that book been there?" she picked it up for a closer inspection. "And how come there's no title on it?" when she opened it, a screeching beast with spider legs and crab claws tried to grab her!

She just tossed the book back as she let out a scream that echoed all over her castle. Upon hearing that scream, her dragon assistant, Spike, came rushing in. "Twilight, what is it? I could hear your scream all the way in the kitchen."

Twilight was just lying down in fetal position as she was repeating, "The horror! The horror!"

That's when Spike spotted the book. "That's weird, I don't remember you ever buying that book."

Upon picking it up, Twilight cried out, "Spike, don't open that!"

"Why not?"

"That book almost killed me! And it'll do the same to you!"

"Oh relax Twilight, it's just a book; it's not like something's gonna pop out and grab me." When he opened it, all that popped out was a cardboard image of a spider. "Is this what scared you Twilight? It's a pop-up book; they're suppose to do that."

Twilight was in disbelief. "B-b-but that's impossible; that image tried to bite my face off!"

"Now Twilight, I think you've been in this library for too long. Why don't we go to the kitchen and eat some of those brownies I just made?"

As he was leading her, Twilight was still raving a little. "But it's true, I tell you! That book just tried to kill me!"

"Gees Twilight, you once walked all over that abandoned castle in the Everfree Forest like it was a stroll in the park; I never would've guessed that a pop-up book is what would make a scaredy-cat out of ya."

As soon as the library was empty, Beetlejuice finally came out of hiding and laughed to himself. "Oh man, I wish that I brought my camera for this! Her reaction was priceless! OK, now who to torment next?"

Meanwhile, Applejack (Apple Bloom's sister) was out in Ponyville, selling apples--as usual. "Apples, get yer fresh apples here! Freshly picked from Sweet Apple Acres!"

Then a very muscular pegasus who goes by the name of Bulk Biceps came to the stand with five bits and shouted, "One apple, please!"

"OK sugarcube," Applejack giggled, "here ya go."

"Yeah!" just as he was about to take a bite, a worm with Beetlejuice's face pops out and shouts, "Peek-a-boo!" and then Bulk Biceps dropped the apple as he flew away while also screaming like a little girl.

"Oh dagnabbit, I had a feelin' there be worms in one of 'em. But at least the others are still fresh." That's when she noticed that the rest of her apples had become rotten. "Oh come on, I just picked them today!"

"Yeah, well I personally prefer my apples when they're a little aged." Beetlejuice said as he was chowing on the apple he just came out of. "Apple core."

"Baltimare."

"Who's your friend?"

"Me." Applejack soon found herself being assaulted by her rotten apples!

"And that is how we make rotten apple sauce; it's a good thing," Beetlejuice said to no one as he was laughing to himself and dressed up like Martha Stewart. With that out of the way, Beetlejuice immediately ripped the outfit off and cried, "Onto the next target!"

While this was happening, Rainbow Dash (Scootaloo's sister figure and idol) was relaxing in her cloud house, reading another Daring Do book. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I hope she gets out of that temple before it explodes!" she was so invested that she didn't even notice the mold covered ghost that was peeking through her window.

While Beetlejuice was floating underneath her house, he was searching for something in his suit. "Now I know I put that trusty twister maker in there somewhere...found it!" out of his suit, he pulled out a mechanical whisk. As he shoved it into her house, he said, "Let's take this little pony out for a spin." He then rapidly turned the lever until it started to turn her house into a giant tornado! The tornado was so strong that it sent Rainbow Dash flying all the way to town hall (the force of which was strong enough to make the entire building collapse)! "Damn, I've heard of bringing the house down, but this is ridiculous."

After that, Rarity (Sweetie Belle's sister) was just getting out of the shower. "Ah...nothing like a nice shower to help refresh a lady's beauty. Now then, I think my mane's been wrapped up in this towel quite long enough." She unwrapped the towel and as she looked upon herself through a mirror, instead of long purple locks, she instead saw snakes with the faces of Beetlejuice! "AHHH! MY MANE! MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL MANE!" she then did an over-dramatic faint, which resulted in one of the snakes saying, "What a drama-queen." And the other snakes pretty much agreed with him.

Over at a cottage near the borders of the Everfree Forest, lived a kind pegasus who goes by the name of Fluttershy. She was in her living room as she watched all her animal friends having their lunch. "Does anyone have enough room for dessert?" all the animals chirped or squeaked in agreement. She then flew into the kitchen where she was keeping a giant carrot cake that was sprinkled with acorns and flower seeds. "OK everyone, here comes dessert." But when she flew back into the living room, all of her friends were gone. "Where is everyone?"

She heard someone burp, and that's when she noticed Beetlejuice relaxing on a chair with a pot belly. "Ooh boy, those little critters are to die for."

"D-did you eat my friends?!"

"Oh yeah, they were delicious; although, I don't think that rabbit's really loving me back."

As he was feeling her pet rabbit kicking inside of him, that's when Fluttershy's pet hummingbird flew to her. "Oh Hummingway, you're still alive!" that is until Beetlejuice stuck out his tongue like a frog and swallowed the bird whole!

"Mmm-mmm, best meal I had in a millennium." He gazed upon the utter shock on Fluttershy's face until getting up and saying, "Well, I got myself another pony to torment, so I'll be seeing ya. Thanks for the free meal!" as soon as he was gone, Fluttershy just dropped the cake and started to cry a little.

Speaking of free meals, a pink earth pony (that everypony knows as Pinkie Pie) was giving out free samples at Sugarcube Corner. "Come and get 'em everypony! Try some of Mr. and Mrs. Cake's brand new chocolate covered bonbons--with 20% white chocolate!" after everypony had practically cleaned the whole plate, she went behind the counter to get more. When she turned around, that's when she saw Beetlejuice standing right in front of her. "Hi there! Care for a chocolate covered bonbon--with 20% white chocolate?"

He grabbed the plate, slipped it into his mouth, and when he pulled it back out it was completely empty. "Now that that's been taken care of, would you like to taste this lollipop?" he then pulled a big black and white colored lollipop from his pocket.

"Would I?!" you never have to ask Pinkie twice when it involves candy; and this was no exception. She stuck her tongue out like a frog and engulfed the whole lollipop in her mouth. "Mmm, this is delicious! What kind of flavor is this?" as soon as she asked that, her whole mouth started to tighten to a point where she couldn't even speak!

"I'll tell ya what flavor it is," Beetlejuice grabbed the stick and pulled out the lollipop to reveal Pinkie's tongue tied to it in a bunch of knots. "I call it the Tongue-Twister; it's my very own recipe!" he then just bolted back into the town while poor Pinkie was just left there speechless.

About thirty minutes later, Ponyville's residential humans were walking around and didn't quite know what to be making of the sight in front of them. Anywhere they look, they would see buildings destroyed or ponies running around in terror (not like this has been the first time they noticed this, in fact they're quite used to it). The one called Jeffrie said to his comrades, "You guys notice anything wrong this evening?"

"Yeah, but who cares?" the one called Jonathan commented. "It's not like this hasn't happened before."

"Yeah, but then again, we always have to end up fixing it," Jeffrie pointed out.

That's when they heard somepony screaming. They turned their attention to the source and saw Lyra and Bon Bon; except there was something different about Lyra. "Oh my goodness Bon Bon, I have hands!" she was in absolute joy as she showed off her new, pale, mold covered hands to her friend.

"You sure you're not a little creeped out by this?"

"Why would I?! It's everything I've ever dreamed of!" her hands then started to have minds of their own; they grabbed Bon Bon by the throat and pulled her right into Lyra's face as both their lips made contact. When her hands released her, Lyra said in a deep voice, "Whoa, looks like somebody needs a breath mint!" she covered her mouth, but found that her hands were now gone.

Bon Bon started to feel a little unnerved as she watched Lyra making jerking motions with her head. "You OK Lyra?" and that's when she spat a black and white frog with crazy yellow hair right in Bon Bon's face. And like most girls, they immediately run away from anything that's either amphibious or just happens to be a reptile of some sort.

Anyway, all three of them just stared at the frog until it said to them, "What are you bozos looking at? You never seen a frog with hair before?"

When it hopped away, the one called Andrew said in a dramatic tone, "Something is rotten in the state of Ponyville."

"Nice Hamlet reference, Andrew," Jeffrie complimented him.

"Thanks man."

"So does this mean we can go see Twilight now?" Jonathan asked.

Jeffrie just let out a sigh as he said, "Might as well."

By the time they finally came to the council chamber, the ponies already seem to be in the middle of an argument. "All right, what did you ponies do this time?" Jeffrie questioned them.

Applejack was the first to respond. "Well, it would seem that my sister and her friends had gone and released some no good demon!"

"She's right about us releasin' him," Apple Bloom clarified. "But it was mostly Scootaloo's fault!"

"It doesn't matter whose fault it is," Rainbow Dash cried. "The point is, you three have just put Ponyville in serious danger!"

"Oh relax," said Andrew, "it's not like this is the first time Ponyville was in danger; let's just go take care of that demon and be done with it."

"What you suggest is easier said than done," Zecora rhymed, "for it'll take a lot more if we want Beetlejuice to be undone."

"Wait, did you say Beetlejuice?" Jonathan asked. "As in that obnoxious, crazy-haired ghost from that Tim Burton movie?"

"You know him?" Sweetie asked astonishingly.

"Of course I do; Hell, everybody knows Beetlejuice," Jonathan stated. "In fact, Jeffrie, why don't you show them a clip?"

Jeffrie then took out of his pocket a small, rectangular device that he refers to as a "cellphone" and he showed the ponies a video clip that just happens to have Beetlejuice in it. After the clip was over, Jeffrie tried to put the pieces together. "So let me get this straight: you three had released something that only existed in a movie?"

"That's about the gist of it," Scootaloo told him. "There's even a book about him." She then gave them the book for them to read over.

"Uh, last time I checked, Beetlejuice was just a bio-exorcist," Jeffrie said after reading over some of it. "What's all this talk about him starting the Holocaust?"

"But I'm telling you, it's all true!" Scootaloo insisted. "Look, he even signed his name on it!"

That's when they went back and finally noticed the booger stained autograph. "Whoa, never thought you can actually write your name with snot," Andrew marveled in disbelief.

Jeffrie then said, "OK, so maybe he is real; if that's the case, then why don't any of you just say his name three times?"

"Uh Jeffrie, sayin' his name three times is what got him here in the first place," Apple Bloom pointed out.

"I know, but saying his name three times can also get rid of him."

"Well technically, it only weakens him," Jonathan corrected him. "Kinda think of it, it took a sandworm just to completely stop him."

"How to stop him is no longer a matter to dwell on," Zecora rhymed. "As long as I can be able to spray this dust upon him, then he shall be long gone."

"The only problem is he has way too much energy in him to contain," Twilight told them. "If only we knew someone who could match his skills, then we might be able to have a chance."

And that's when an idea had popped inside Andrew's head. "I know, you know how in Godzilla movies when a monster starts attacking a city they make some other monster fight him?"

"Yes."

"Then why don't we just get some other supernatural douche to fight Beetlejuice for us?"

"Yeah, that's a great idea and all," said Rainbow Dash. "Except who do we know can do just about the same things as Beetlejuice can?"

Jeffrie let out an annoyed sigh as he said, "Really Rainbow, you don't remember a certain mischievous and powerful being that you had all reformed a few years ago?"

Fluttershy already knew the answer to that. "Discord!"

"Exactly, so let's just let Discord fight him."

"But how are we ever going to call him?" Rarity asked.

And from the top of his lungs, Jeffrie shouted, "DISCORD! DISCORD! DISCORD!" and then everything was silent for an awkward moment.

"Uh, why did you do that?" Spike asked him.

"Because if saying 'Beetlejuice' three times can summon him, who's to say it can't do the same for Discord?"

They all just kept shouting out "DISCORD" until a certain freak of nature had decided to rip a hole through solid matter and shout, "All right already! I heard you all the first time! Having to jump in between two different realms is a lot harder than it looks, you know!"

As soon as he made himself comfortable, Twilight was the first to ask him. "Discord, we need your help."

"Dost mine ears deceive me?" Discord's interest was peaked. "Princess Twilight Sparkle wants my help? Ooh, this is way too good to be true!"

"Well believe it or not, it's true," Jeffrie told him. "We need you to take down a ghost called Beetlejuice for us."

"Beetlejuice? Now that sounds odd; and yet also strangely delicious." With the snap of his fingers, Discord summoned a juicer and stuffed a whole jar of beetles in it. After pouring it in a glass, he then took a sip, only to spat it out on Rarity. "Ugh, no, no, wrong, I was definitely wrong! A juice made out of beetles is not a good idea at all!"

"This isn't the time for one of your jokes, Discord," Twilight told him. "We need you to fight Beetlejuice, now!"

Discord however didn't seem to be interested at this point. "I don't know Twilight, I mean the Smooze and I just got back from a pedicure, and I just don't feel like breaking a nail today."

That is until Fluttershy flew up and said, "Please Discord, won't you at least do it for me?"

After giving him the same look that she once gave to Big Mac, he finally relented. "Oh how could I ever say no to you? OK, so where is this Beetlejuice?"

Speaking of Beetlejuice, he was currently relaxing in the middle of the town while playing a ukulele and singing "What A Wonderful World." And when he was through with that, he just took a sip of some ice-tea. "Ugh, needs more sugar," and by "sugar", he of course meant the dandruff from his hair. "Ahh, I could get use to living here; nice buildings to dismantle, lots of ponies to play around with, and it's all mine."

"Oh I wouldn't say that."

Beetlejuice got off from his chair and saw Discord standing in the distance. "And just who the Hell are you suppose to be?"

"I'm the guy who's gonna run you out of this town; but you may call me, Discord."

"Those are strong words coming from a travelling freakshow."

This is when Discord changed into a cowboy outfit and said, "All right partner, this town ain't big enough fer the two of us! There can only be one annoying anarchist around here; and that's me!"

"Oh yeah, and what if I don't want to go?"

Discord then changed into a top hat and black, leather cape combo, while also playing with a rapier. "Then I shall have no choice but to challenge you to a duel!"

"You, fight me?! Please, I have better things to waste my time with."

Just as he was about to sit back on his chair, Discord shouted, "Care to put a wager on that?!"

And that offer made Beetlejuice's head spin--literally. "What are you suggesting?"

"If I win, you have to let Zecora turn you back to a doll."

"And what if I win?"

"Then I'll turn myself into stone and you can stay as long as you like."

"Don't do it Discord!" although Fluttershy tends to be a soft yeller, Beetlejuice was still able to see her and her friends watching from the balcony of Twilight's castle.

"Are they suppose to be your cheerleaders?" Beetlejuice laughed.

"Of course," said Discord, "I'm going to need someone to cheer for me after I whip your moldy butt! Now do you accept my challenge or not?"

"OK, I'll fight ya. But first, we better set some ground rules. Rule #1: no outside interference." He snapped his fingers and had Discord's friends tied up in spider webs. "Rule #2: no illegal usage of the B word." Jeffrie quickly tried to shout out his name, but only to find his--and everyone else's--mouth tied up as well. "Rule #3: no sandworms; you can fight me with whatever you like, but sandworms is where I draw the line."

Discord decided to add his own rule, "Rule #4: no cheating."

"Fine, now I hope you have health insurance, because I'm about to bring down a house of pain upon you."

"Well I hope you're ready, because it's showtime!"

"Hey, that's my catchphrase, buddy!"

"Oh yeah, do you have a copyright claim?"

"Oh I have your copyright claim, right here!" he then grabbed his crotch and made honking sounds.

"Oh how crude! (And these ponies think I'm unbearable.)"

"OK, now before we fight, I'd like to give you a present." He handed Discord a present with black and white paper wrap. And as soon as he opened it, a pie splattered right in front of his face.

While Beetlejuice was laughing at that old gag, Discord took the time to lick all the frosting off his face. "Delightful. Since we're in the business of giving each other presents, I might as well give you one as well."

"Thanks, seeing that pie smash your face made me hungry anyway." Beetlejuice had opened his mouth very wide as he was preparing himself for his surprise treat. But instead of a delicious pie, he got a mouthful of a giant boxing glove that just sent him flying! "Oh boy, that one packed a lot of punch." After getting himself back up, Beetlejuice was now begging for more. "Come on, is that the best you got?!" and no sooner did he say that, he found Discord crushing him like an anaconda.

"Say uncle, now! Say it! Say it!" as much as he demanded Beetlejuice to surrender, all he gave him was a bunch of spikes poking his entire body!

While Discord was flying in the air, screaming in pain, Beetlejuice retracted his spikes and said to himself, "I think he got the point." When Discord finally landed on the ground, Beetlejuice asked him, "You give up, or ya thirsty for more?"

"No, but I hope you're still hungry."

"Oh let me guess, you're making me a knuckle sandwich?"

"Nope, but I hope you love pumpkin," with that said, he tossed a giant pumpkin right into Beetlejuice's face! His head might've been stuck inside of it, but he managed to suck the entire pumpkin up. With all the seeds still inside, he took out a straw, and the second he placed it on his lips, he started to spit out bullets! Discord quickly dodged them in a slow-motion fashion, only to have one of them rip his arm off! His arm might've grown back, but he discovered that his missing arm was able to produce a clone of himself. Seeing that this might be a good strategy, Discord pulled one of his legs off, and that resulted in a clone as well.

Beetlejuice noticed this and said, "Oh yeah, two can play this game." He then ripped both his ears off and made clones of his own! With the odds now even, Discord and Beetlejuice just laid back while their clones fought each other. The first Beetlejuice clone had shaped the first Discord clone into a nail as he turned his hand into a hammer and shouted, "It's hammertime!" and he pretty much hammered that Discord clone into oblivion. The second Beetlejuice clone had stretched the second Discord clone so far out, that he was able to use him as a trampoline. With both clones defeated, Discord seemed to be on the receiving end now.

"You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?" Beetlejuice asked the master of chaos.

"For a second there," Discord replied, "yeah, I kinda did."

The both of them went straight at each other with a fury of punches until Discord landed one that made Beetlejuice's head stretch up. And this was because they were playing with Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot versions of themselves the whole time. "Woohoo! I'm the Rock 'Em Sock 'Em champion!" Discord reveled in his victory. That is until he found himself being grabbed by both of Beetlejuice's clones and was held still long enough for Beetlejuice to send a giant wrecking ball hurling towards Discord and sent him flying and landing in the dirt.

"Well Discord, looks like you're out numbered," Beetlejuice taunted him.

"Not for long," with the snap of his fingers, a giant house came out of nowhere and fell right on top of Beetlejuice and his clones! Discord noticed his feet slithering away underneath the house, so he went in to check it out. With his friends having to watch the fight from a balcony, they couldn't really make out what was happening inside.

They heard a brief scuffle, but then they all saw Beetlejuice bolting out of the roof while using Discord as a pogo stick! He just kept bouncing, and bouncing, and bouncing Discord's face to the ground until he bounced so high that Discord seized the opportunity to tie anvils to Beetlejuice's feet (the force of which caused half of his body to be stuck)! Seeing as how his upper-body was still showing, Discord decided to turn his tail into a jackhammer and kept pounding down Beetlejuice until there was nothing left but his head.

"Whoa, now that's what I call a headache," Beetlejuice commented to himself right before Discord pulled his head off. "Hey, what are you doing?! Hey, you're gonna mess up my hair! Whoa! Whoa! WHOA!" and that's when Discord had finally shrunk Beetlejuice's head to the size of a golf ball (and he just happened to have changed into his golf outfit, as well).

While this was going on, Discord's clones were just sitting on a table while also doing commentary. "As you can see mares and gentlecolts, the master of chaos has decided to go with a very special ball for this match."

"Yes indeed, but first, Discord's decided to give his ball a good cleaning," Discord placed Beetlejuice's head inside a ball cleaner and he kept on pumping it up and down until Beetlejuice was nearly half choked with water.

"OK, now Discord is finally positioning the ball, and now he's trying to decide on which club to use."

"Ah, I see that he's chosen a wedge; must want that ball to go extra far from here."

"OK, now be silent everypony; the master of chaos is now concentrating."

After about a minute of intense silence, Discord finally hit Beetlejuice's head so hard that it sent him straight to the hole!

"And it's a hole in one!"

"That's right mares and gentlecolts, the master of chaos has won again!"

But before Discord could even start to celebrate, he felt the ground shaking as a mound of dirt was racing towards him. What followed next was Beetlejuice jumping out of the ground and uppercut Discord right in the jaw! "Eh...what's up, Doc?!"

By the time Discord got up, even he was confused. "Huh, I didn't think you could get back on your body like that."

"Bet you didn't think I could do this, either," Beetlejuice stomped his foot on the ground and yet it somehow land another uppercut to Discord's jaw. As Beetlejuice was about to finish him off, he noticed that Discord was just looking in some empty box and giggling. "Hey, what're you looking at?"

"Oh, probably the funniest thing you'll ever see in your life. Wanna take a look?" as soon as Beetlejuice had a closer look, Discord slammed it over his head and it transformed into a bazooka. "Bombs away!" he then pulled the trigger and watch as Beetlejuice skyrocketed towards a nearby lake.

"See, I told you it was the funniest thing you'll ever see in your life!" Discord laughed to himself until he felt the ground shaking again. And that's when he saw Beetlejuice riding out of the lake, on top of the half destroyed remains of the Titanic! "I'm king of the world!" Beetlejuice shouted as he was heading straight to Discord!

Discord just changed into a scientist outfit and cried, "Great Scott!" and with the snap of his fingers, he got himself into a DeLorean and drove off. As the Titanic was coming closer and closer, leaving behind an immense trail of plowed soil all over the town, the DeLorean started to spark a little until it finally burst into flames and disappeared. Beetlejuice just had to stop after this. And just as everyone upon the balcony thought they were gonna feel the whole castle crumble down with the them, each of them were relieved to see the giant destroyed ship only lightly tap it. "Hey, where'd you go? Hey, we're still in the middle of a fight here, come out! You spineless loser, you're dealing with a professional here!" after that little outburst, Beetlejuice decided to declare it a victory. "Well Zecora and friends, looks like your Discord buddy decided to call it quits; so I guess I win!" that is until he noticed a giant shade covering over him.

He turned around and that's when he saw the Death Star! Inside of it, Discord said to one of his clones, "You may fire when ready," and then his clones started to pull and push some buttons until a green laser beam was being produced. Beetlejuice only had this to say, "Oh shit," and then he was blasted with enough force to destroy a planet!

After that was finally over, Discord released his friends from their web prisons and they all went up to the big crater where Beetlejuice was lying down in defeat. "Well Beetlejuice, looks like I win. So now it's time for you to hit the road. Zecora, would you be so kind as to get that dust out?"

Just as Zecora was ready to splash the dust on him, Beetlejuice tried to make a run for it. But luckily Discord was able to change into a ghostbuster outfit and used his proton stream to ensnare Beetlejuice in time. "Hey, come on now, this isn't fair! I don't have any high-tech gizmo's like you kids do nowadays; I always have to do things the old fashioned way!" and that's when he was face to face with Zecora again. "Come on Zecora, I'll be good. Would I ever lie?"

Instead of answering his question, she just blew the dust right in his face and watched as he spin around uncontrollably and turned back into a doll. "It's finally finish, it brings me relief to see him diminish."

"And thank Celestia," Discord said, "I don't think I could handle another round."

"Yeah, it's a good thing that it's all over now," Rainbow Dash said.

"But what if he gets loose again?" Spike pointed out. "Now that he's just a doll, why don't we destroy it before it's too late?"

"I wish it were that simple, Spike," Zecora rhymed. "But I'm afraid that this is a burden that I must bear, even if it's one I dislike."

Jeffrie then seem to have an idea, "Or, maybe we can let it be someone else's burden instead."

"Like who?" Twilight asked.

Jeffrie picked up the doll with a devilish grin and said, "Oh, I think I know a certain someone who would love to play with this doll."

...

Somewhere far off from Ponyville, the dreaded Changeling Queen and her minions were trapped inside a castle while being tortured by the atrocious singing of a living Pinkie Pie outfit. But just then, everything started to go quiet for once. The Changeling Queen poked her head up in surprise and said, "Can it be? Has that obnoxious costume finally stopped singing?!"

"It would seem so, my queen," one of her minions told her.

"Finally, at last things shall be quiet around here!"

"Glad to see you're in a good mood," that's when she finally noticed Discord.

"What do you want?"

"Oh I just came to drop off this little present for you, I hope you enjoy it."

As soon as he disappeared, the Changeling Queen had opened the present and saw the ragdoll with a sticky note on it. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice?"

The second she said those words, the ghost with the most was finally back again. "Whoa, now this is my kind of place right here! Dark, secluded, dusty; a whole lot better than that other dump!" that's when he noticed the queen. "Ooh, and it comes with a roommate."

As soon as he gave her one, big, moldy kiss, the queen pushed him away and shouted, "And just who are you?!"

"I'm the ghost with the most, babe," he then noticed her minions. "Are those your kids?"

"Well, in a way."

"Oh this is great: we'll go out together, we'll tell bedtime stories, and we'll just be one big happy family! Now let's party!" he then summoned a disco ball (which started to play "Freakout") as he just danced away. The queen could only just bang her head on the wall as she knew that this'll be a long time before things can be quiet again.