Letting go and moving on; that was always hard for her, for Babs Seed. She'd galloped largely around the barn that crisp Cloptober morning and did little to calm the acid in her legs. The lactic acid had corroded her strength away hours ago. At that point, Babs was only on runner's high. If it weren't for her incessant need to run, to escape the illness soaking her heart in tears, she never would've run in the first place.
Sometimes, in her dreams, she'd fly away on wings of steel and shape a lover out the clay of the earth, all with her alicorn magic, which she desparately sought in times of need, a miracle without a price. If it were a miracle, it might've been like her relationship. It might've fallen apart at the last second and left her cold in the rainy gloom of Manehatten.
Babs Seed drifted away in thought, pensive and meandering in her mindless steps. Eventually, Babs crashed into something, nose first too. What luck, she groaned, her muzzle broken and bloody.
She opened her eyes to see a red rock.
Oh, wait. That wasn't a rock. It was Big Mac, who's muscles were hard as rock. The immense density of his musculature could impress anyone. Well, anyone but himself and Snowflake, who also participated in heavy manual labor. Big Macintosh glanced down and locked eyes with her, bucking his last batch of apples from the oozark trees.
His buck tore a tree clean in half.
"Aw shucks... There goes another apple tree. Do me a favor and fetch me that axe over there. By the hay." He stated, grumbling about some sort of chainsaw Applejack 'just wouldn't buy.'
Though she normally would've feared for her life, Babs Seed was out of options and emotions in general. Who had time for tears when all she felt was numb. The pain had struck it's course for a month or so before leaving her hollow. It'd been three months since then, and yet, the pain never faded. It only made her insensate from overexposure.
Babs had fetched his lumberaxe, which had weight the likes she'd never even imagined possible. The best way to lug it about was by the skinniest portion right before the wide and blunt handle. Because her teeth could not fit anywhere else for any amount of traction. She'd struggled for countless... minutes on end, only breathing when Big Mac carried it away. With his tail. Big Mac could carry a lumber axe with his tail.
"Aw shucks, you lookin' at me that way sure is nice." He chuckled, focusing on the tree as Babs took to blushing.
"Y-yeah well... I'm not looking at your muscles, okay. I... I was just looking at your axe."
He snickered and chuckled his deep, bass-ridden chuckle. It rumbled in her chest like her father's. Celestia rest his soul, Big Macintosh was just like him. He was just like the dad she'd never had. His smile was even the same, jovial and bright, but compact enough to show how instrumental he was, how much he lacked clinginess that mares under fourty could never seem to take.
That little spark of childishness, that tiny reliance on underdeveloped psychology, is what made her blush, barely a teen and barely able to think straight in his presence. And somehow, with all his charm, he asked a question that'd normally send her into tears.
"What would your big city boyfriend say if he caught you lookin' at me, an old stallion big enough to be your pa?" He joked, wholeheartedly innocent and yet, so acute in his psychoanalysis.
"I... I dunno, you know. We, uh, broke it off a few months ago. Never been better, honestly."
Big Macintosh lowered his lumberaxe and dropped it on the way to Babs. She'd back peddled frantically before closing her eyes as he took her in. He'd held her close and shed a tear. Though she didn't know why, she did too. Before long, he'd carried her inside for milk and cookies. Chocolate chip, she sighed fondly, tired and sluggish after her first taste of tears in years. She sat next to him at the table, unable to sit anywhere else. And though she knew it was selfish, she wished he was her big brother and not Applebloom's.
How lucky she'd been... to have him all her life. Even if she was gone, even if she had expired just a year ago... why didn't Babs deserve a caring father- brother figure.
"The first thing I can tell you... is that you'll be hurtin' till you realize what it means to be happy. So, listen up, Babs. This is your first lesson."
Big Mac held her against his chest fur and started a cigarette.
"Love ain't about bein' yourself. It's about bein' together. Bein' there for one another. And if your boyfriend ain't never done one thing you did for him, there's one reason he's not around anymore." He explained, puffing smoke away in soft, wobbly rings.
He could tell from the gentle slope of her shoulders that Babs was finally articulating her thoughts. It was all finally making sense to her. Though she never said a word and only listened, he could hear the gears in her head turning. He could hear her throat when her trachea constricted from nervous swallows, as all was still in the Apple residence. Not a soul stirred but theirs.
"And two... if y'all were hurtin' and achin' and yellin', there ain't no shame in fightin' every now and then. But if you or him were never fixing problems or always starting fights... you're better off away. A good couple fights to make it right. A bad couple fights to be right. And that's just the way it is."
Little Babs Seed had heard him. And every word rung true. She couldn't deal with his stubborn attitude. He was always telling her to behave this way or do this or that when nothing was wrong in the first place. Just because she enjoyed baseball with her friends, or got a little dirty didn't mean she was 'immature' and 'dumb.' Just because Babs never dated didn't mean she wanted to date all of her colt friends. It didn't mean Babs was a bad person because Flutter Breeze never liked her hair, or always insulted her intelligence. No... Breeze was selfish, possessive and abusive.
He left... because she wouldn't conform to all his expectations. She didn't have to change for him because she wasn't hurting him in the first place. She never said he was stupid. She never said he was ugly with his haircut. That much had sped by her till now. Babs Seed slipped a tear... and then another. And then another, till all she managed were sobs and sniffles.
"I-I j-j-just wanted t-t-to feel l-l-loved..."
"And you are, sugar plum... I'm here for you. From now on, I'm gonna wallop anyone that crappy to ya. Just you wait. I'll find you a good colt, si- Babs, just you watch."
She gazed up and whispered 'don't call me Babs... call me Sis. Call me sis; I need it Big Mac.'
Big Macintosh, her big brother, gave a smile that healed her eyes dry. He closed his eyes as he tilted his head to kiss her scalp.
"She'd be your age if she was still here, you know..." He hushed, streaming from his eyes.
"Good... Pops would be your age if I still had him." She whispered, burying her face against his rough and tumble coat.
One thing she learned that day, before all else, before her new life had even started, was one, indisputable fact: everyone deserved to be loved. Just like leaves in the autumn, ponies changed color; but they never, ever, stopped being ponies.
Leaves changed color, but they would always need branches.
And ponies changed feelings, but they would always need hugs. They would always need kisses, and reminders of just how much they really meant.
