A Tale of Two Dictionaries (and a Chicken)

by Elitist Scum

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random
Length: 1033

Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom talk

Scootaloo decides to go visit her two friends Sweetie Belle and Applebloom.

Because I have lost my mind and I don't even know what I'm doing at this point.
Oh and a live stream reading
(not by me)

Published 2012-05-30 16:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-30 16:34:02 UTC

The One and Only Chapter

As Celestia's sun slowly peeked its head above the covers of the earth, its rays stretching out to grasp ahold of the sheets and fling them away so that the day might start, the creatures beneath its golden light rose as well. Cats meowed at their owners door, begging to be fed, whilst dogs continued to sleep until the cacophony of kibble being poured into their dish rang throughout the house. Earth ponies rose early to begin the days work, while the pegasi rubbed sleep from their eyes as they pushed clouds to and fro, preparing the day's sunny weather. Shopkeepers flipped 'closed' signs to 'open,' and store owners swept the floors of their businesses. For all purposes, today was going to be the perfect day, and every being knew it.

One being in particular had looked forward to today for a long time. Her name was Scootaloo, and as she flapped her wings excitedly, she hopped down from her perch in a tree. Her orange coat glistening in the early morning sun, managing to slow her descent with her wings, much to her delight. Today was the day that her and her friends Sweetie Belle and Applebloom would get their cutie marks. She was sure of it.

Making her way towards her scooter, Scootaloo hopped on. Revving her wings up, they reached full speed, but she stayed in the exact same place. Hopping off the blue and white scooter, she quickly checked the wheels. The forward right wheel was rusted over. Hanging her head in disappointment, she nudged it back into place and began walking towards Ponyville.

Garnering a few strange looks from ponies for reasons that were lost on her, Scootaloo continued on her way towards the Ponyville library, the designated meeting place for her and her friends. They always met there. Maybe it was the books that helped them think, or perhaps it was the quietness of the place. They'd been banned by the librarian, Twilight Sparkle once, but she'd let them back in finally, and they'd met there consistently ever since.

Finally reaching the enormous hollowed out tree that was the Ponyville library, Scootaloo knocked on the door. After waiting for a few minutes with no response, she knocked again. And again. And again. Finally, she heard the gentle patter of footsteps that heralded the arrival of the assistant librarian, a nice dragon by the name of Spike.

"Hello, anypony here-" He said as he opened up the door. "Oh, it's just you."

"Spike, who's at the door?" The Twilight said, her voice wafting out of the library.

"Just that one chicken that likes clucking to those two dictionaries you accidentally enchanted with a come-to-life spell!" He replied.

"Bawk?!" Scootaloo huffed in indignation. They were not just 'two dictionaries.' They were Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, the best friends in the whole world.

"Fine, let it in... I'll go tell Fluttershy to come pick it up... again." Twilight said.

"Bawk!" Scootaloo squeaked in delight, rushing past the purple and green dragon. Running to the center of the library, Scootaloo spied the two books she was looking for. There, on the ground, propped up against the book shelf, were Sweetie Belle and Applebloom.

"Page flip!" Said Applebloom.

"Page flip cover close!" Said Sweetie Belle.

"Bawk!" Scootaloo said, obviously chickenese for "Hello my two wonderful friends, what shall we do today?"

"Page flip!" Applebloom said, which was bookish for "We should do something with the best of intentions but end up creating an absolutely horrible mess that requires us to act in stereotypical comedic fashion to correct the problem, and then we learn a lesson at the end!"

"Page flip." Sweetie Belle shrugged, which meant "Naw, let's just light something on fire by accident."

"Bawk..." Scootaloo pondered, which meant, "Hmm... Both of your ideas have merit, but the real question is, what will get us our cutie marks?"

Just then, the door opened and Twilight walked in, the handle of a red wagon held in her magical grip, the wagon following behind her, a small potted tree resting in said wagon. "Spike! I'm back! I got Fluttershy!"

"Ok!" Spike said. "The chicken is still talking to those two dictionaries!"

"Ok Fluttershy, just go grab your chicken while I go get some tea." Twilight said, releasing her hold on the wagon.

The tree sat there. And it sat there. And it sat there. Finally, Twilight returned from the kitchen, a steaming teapot floating beside her. "Fluttershy! Aren't you going to pick up your chicken!"

The tree sat in silence.

"Oh, sorry Twilight, there was a baby mouse hurt outside your library, so I just had to stop and help him." A meek butterscotch pegasus blushed. "And thank you for carrying that new tree for me. Just make sure you give it to Mayor Mare tomorrow." Fluttershy smiled as she flew inside the library. "And also thank you for making sure Scootaloo didn't hurt herself. Come on Scootaloo, we have to go now."

"Bawk..." Scootaloo clucked sadly, which meant "Sorry girls, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Page flip." They both said, which meant, "Bye Scootaloo."

After Fluttershy and Scootaloo left, Twilight turned on the radio. "...Snrkt! And this just in!" The announcer exclaimed. "Princessidential candidate Lyra Supreme has announced that if she is elected Princessident, there will be humans for everypony. I will now quote the announcement candidate Supreme made at the national desert competition in Canterlot this past weekend, 'Equestria needs to be ready for zombies. Our current Princessident continues to ignore the threat that zombies pose to Equestria. This is why we need to institute a human identification program, by giving everypony a human. When this system is implemented, it will change absolutely nothing. As Princessident, I promise to...'" The radio drawled on.

"Page flip?" Sweetie asked, which meant, "Can you believe that? That's ridiculous!"

"Page flip flip." Applebloom said, which meant, "I know! It'd be like if someone wrote a story about two dictionaries talking. I mean really, how unoriginal can you get!? If anyone were to write that, they'd have to be a complete idiot."

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